Freeman nodded.
“Well, he was like one of the hard masters Black Beauty had so I always thought God was a master like him. Understand?”
He nodded again.
“Since I’ve been out more, making close friends again at the knitting circle, I’ve seen God to be loving. Don’t be angry, but I learned it from the English.”
Freeman cocked one eyebrow, then nodded.
“Suzy visited a woman she didn’t like and she said ‘God gave her his love for her’ and I was taken back. Then Janice Jackson, pastor’s wife at the Baptist church, said God gives her love for single homeless mamms. They openly talk like that, and it got me… searching.”
Mona got up and lifted Angel from the little knit rug on the floor. “Then Jeb gave me Angel, saying dogs helped him, and somehow this little black dog, or maybe it was Jeb’s gift, but I feel the love of God in my heart for the first time.” She nuzzled Angel. “I held unforgiveness towards my daed and it blinded me or something. I couldn’t see God as loving.”
Freeman’s eyes moistened. “But I’ve loved you, even though you’ve been a crabapple.”
Mona stared at Freeman in disbelief. “Really?”
“Jah. Didn’t you see it?”
Mona held Angel tight. “Sometimes…”
“I work in that barn day in and day out. Sometimes?”
“Well, I thought you hid in there to get away from me.”
He set his jaw firm. “You stay in your room, avoiding me.”
Mona couldn’t deny the pain she saw in Freeman’s eyes. “Ach, I’m so sorry.”
Freeman nodded. “When we break bread together, at the noon meal, it means a lot to me.”
Mona gasped. “And you thought I stayed upstairs to avoid you?”
He nodded…again.
“I was trying to give you some… peace. Having time alone. In peace.”
He motioned for her to sit down. “I get lonely.”
Mona put Angel down, sat next to him and reached for his hand again. “Me too. Ach, Freeman. It feels so goot to talk like this.”
Freeman nodded and smiled and Mona thanked God she’d accepted Fannie’s invitation to the knitting circle. Little did she know that it would begin to heal her marriage.
~*~
Colleen scanned the colorful yarn, neatly placed on the many shelves according to hue. “I like green the best, why?”
Suzy snapped her fingers. “I knew it. And it’s a surprise. Amish women are making a quilt for you, and us Baptist need to keep up appearances.” Suzy laughed. “I still can’t believe you’ll be getting married in two months, to an Amish man. Ach, vell, it was love at first sight, jah?”
Colleen grinned at Suzy’s fake Dutch accent, and then went to the back of the store to resume winding yarn into spools. “Suzy, can I ask you something?”
“What’s up?” Suzy asked as she shuffled papers around her desk.
“Well, after reading Black Beauty, I wondered if all horses were as nice as him. You know a lot about horses…”
“Well, Ginger had an attitude in the book. Many horses act like her. Nervous and jittery.”
“But she wasn’t treated right. When Black Beauty befriended her, she learned to trust.”
Suzy looked up, her reading glasses teetering on the edge of her nose. “I have a feeling we’re not talking about horses, but people.”
Colleen shrugged. “Maybe I am. That book hit me in the heart about my dad. Anna Sewell sure wrote a lot about the dangers of drugs.”
“Drugs?”
“Alcohol’s a drug, and it almost killed Black Beauty and messed up a bunch of people in the story. And my life, too. But Beauty was always forgiving and loving…”
“He had no choice. He was a horse. Colleen, what’s wrong? You have those droopy shoulders again.”
Colleen straightened. “I’m tired.”
“Hey, it’s me. Your second mom, jah? And that better not change when you become Amish.”
Change. Her whole life was change, Colleen thought, but she was setting roots in Smicksburg. “That will never change, Suzy. But I wonder if I should be reaching out to help my parents. That Mr. Smith who almost killed Beauty was a good man deep down.”
Suzy darted up. “Almost killed Black Beauty, and Colleen, you did the right thing in getting your Black Beauty away from your parents.”
“You mean Aurora?”
“Yes, honey. Oh, you are so hard on yourself at times. You just don’t see yourself as others do… you’re such a sweetheart and an overcomer.”
“Overcomer?”
“Yes, you rescued yourself and daughter from a crack house. Don’t ever forget that. What I saw in Black Beauty is a clear line between right and wrong. And when we live wrong, there’s a price to pay.”
A bell jangled, announcing someone was at the store door. Colleen turned to see a very stylish woman, decked out in all designer labels. Her Coach purse was huge, and Colleen prayed she had the cash to buy lots of yarn. Suzy, like all shop owners, was experiencing the winter slow months.
Suzy curtsied. “Thank you for entering my humble abode.”
The woman smiled, then burst into laughter. “I drove over here, and I didn’t hit one mailbox.”
“Is Sammy out in the car?”
“No, I passed my driver’s license. Thought I told you.” She looked over at Colleen. “How nice. You have Amish working for you.”
Suzy went over to Colleen and put her arm around her. “This is Colleen, the girl I told you about. Colleen, this is Missy, the one I’ve been giving knitting lessons to.”
The woman who really changed, Colleen thought. “Nice to meet you.”
“So, you’re turning Amish then?” Missy asked. “Suzy’s told me so much about you. When’s the wedding?”
“In early May, before planting time,” Colleen said. “I love it that the Amish live their lives around the seasons, don’t you?”
Missy nodded. “They’re smart. We Englishers try to cram too much into our lives. Suzy helped me see this.” She looked at Suzy, love along with suspense written across her face. “I can’t help it. I have to share something.”
“What?” Suzy asked.
“I’m buying the big Victorian on Maple Street, and plan to have a tea shop on the first floor.”
Suzy gawked. “That place is gorgeous. What happened to the other house you had your heart set on?”
“Well, after I read all your Jane Austen books, and thought about the little Jane Austen teas you and Colleen have at ten o’clock sharp. I knew I had to have a teahouse and sell things that Jane would approve of.” She laughed and looked at her watch. “It’s ten o’clock. What kind of establishment is this?”
Colleen knew how this woman got under every nerve of Suzy’s being, and now she was here in the shop, chatting and being like a bosom friend. As she followed them into the back room where they had their teas, Colleen thought again of her wedding… without her mom being there. God changed Missy’s life so radically in a short period of time. Could He do that for her parents?
~*~
Fannie leaned her head against the back of the rocker, thankful that Anna had stopped crying. Why am I so impatient? Guilt jabbed at her and she closed her eyes. I am fearfully and wonderfully made….
Melvin came over and sat in the chair next to her. “Tired?”
“Jah. Up a lot last night.”
“Well, you relax over at Granny’s today, and don’t overdo it.”
“I won’t. But I don’t know if I should leave Anna.”
Melvin bit his lower lip. “I know what you mean. I fear your mamm won’t be gentle with Anna, too.”
“You know, Melvin. I’m afraid I’ll be a horrible mamm, too.”
“What?”
“Jah. How many women get impatient with an infant?”
“All of them? You’re sleep deprived and the doc said your hormones will be jumbled for a while, just like Eliza’s were. Depression after having a boppl
i?”
“Post-partum depression... it only lasted two weeks. I feel better.”
Melvin slumped in his rocker. “Then why the blues?”
“I’m not sad.”
“Jah, you are. Your fears kick in when you’re down. And you’re going to be a goot mamm.”
Fannie knew Melvin always thought she got carried away with things learned in her novels, so should she even mention what she learned from Black Beauty? “Melvin, promise not to make fun of me.”
“I never do. What’s up?”
“Well, there was a horse in the book Black Beauty. Her name was Ginger, and she didn’t get a goot start in life… and never really changed, not being able to trust people. She’s skittish. And I fear that my upbringing will handicap me in a way. That I’ll mess up Anna somehow.”
Melvin looked over at her, his green eyes full of concern. “Fannie, I do think you have that depression. You’re not yourself at all.”
Men! How could she explain to him that she was afraid she’d be a horrible mamm, since she never had a goot example? How could she admit it to herself the rage she sometimes felt towards her upbringing? Her mamm’s constant criticism and her daed’s apathy. Never once had her daed stood up to her mamm, telling her to be kind. She was just like Ginger in the story, scarred for life because of cruel, ignorant or stupid people. How many times had Anna Sewell used stupid to describe people so accurately? No beating around the bush about it. And she liked the woman for it, bringing things out in the open about abused animals, and that’s why she changed her mind to call her boppli Anna. And because my own stupid mamm would never give me any peace if I named her Deborah!
She looked over at Melvin… who was now asleep, mouth hanging open as he began to snore. Men! They have it so easy! They can sleep all night, and nap in the day, too! “Melvin!”
He jerked. “I was listening.”
“I didn’t say anything…”
“I’m sorry. Anna’s crying in the middle of the night makes me tired all day.”
“Me too. Now, about my mamm babysitting. Are you sure about it?”
“I’ll stay nearby without being obvious. Let’s give it a try. Who knows, maybe she’ll be a better oma than a mamm?”
Fannie felt tension release in her neck. Maybe her mamm could redeem herself by being kind to Anna. Lord, I hope so!
~*~
Janice waved to Colleen up the street from Suzy’s shop. “See you at one?” she yelled.
“See you at one,” Colleen called back.
Janice took a deep breath, the cool air calming her. So much rested on this meeting that Jerry insisted on… so many lives. Lord, your will be done. Janice entered Suzy’s shop, and knew enough to go around to the back room if Suzy was not in the shop. She heard laughter. Good, so far. Missy seems the same…. “Well, I thought I’d find you back here, sipping tea.”
Suzy put one hand up in protest. “Our tea time is officially over. I need to get back to work.”
Janice stared into Suzy’s eyes, hoping she’d read into them that she needed to stay put. But Suzy smiled and went out to the store to resume work.
“So, Missy, how have you been?”
Missy got up from her seat at the little tea table and gave Janice a hug. “I’m doing almost too good.”
“Too good to be true?” Janice blurted.
Missy slowly sat back down. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, I’ve never been one to be poised, not beating around the bush.” She plunked herself on a chair opposite Missy. “I have to admit, Suzy called me and told me you were here, and I knew I had time to chat.”
Missy frowned. “And what’s wrong with that?”
“Well, it’s church business, not just a chat.” Janice arched her back and let out a sigh. “Missy, your offering to our church is something we’re not used to. Jerry, being the man of integrity he is, wants to make sure you’re not doing this out of impulse, obligation, or any other reason. Understand?”
“No.” Missy tilted her head to one side.
“Well, many feel that they can buy their way to heaven, or get there by being good. You understand that God loves you just as much if you stay in your big house and don’t give your money to the church, right?”
Missy looked over at her Coach purse and Janice prayed that the motive for giving was pure. Lord, we could do so much with this money!
“Walter’s death roused me out of my slumber. I had deceived myself into thinking that we’d live forever and only lived for the here and now. And over the past few years, I’ve only felt emptier. No amount of things I could buy could fill this emptiness, except an eternal God. And I found him on Christmas Eve, at your church.”
Janice thought of the Christmas Carol play the children put on, and how nervous Jerry was to preach that night, having a full house of two-hundred people. “That was some night, huh? I think Christmas has a way of making us think of what’s important.”
“Yes,” Missy continued. “But this past Christmas I got the best present ever, Jesus in my heart. I never knew He could or would even want to live in someone like me.”
Janice reached for her hand. “You should join our knitting circle. We read, too, as you know. We all learned from Little Women that we’re all hopelessly flawed.”
Missy began to blush. “Well, I haven’t been the nicest person, putting my nose up at Suzy and Ginny next door. I was a snob, but it was all a masquerade. Behind my mask, I was a jealous woman. They had peace, and I didn’t, and I despised them for it.” A smile slid across Missy’s face. “Now I have it too.”
Janice put her head down, praying for strength. “Missy, I’m so happy for you, but have you had doubts about giving so much money to our church?”
“Well, it’s for a shelter for homeless people, right? And someone to run it?”
“Oh, absolutely. Jerry won’t touch a penny towards anything else. It’s just that there’s a place we have in mind to purchase. It’s an Amish farm. Jerry has been in touch with your lawyer and things could happen really quickly and he’s concerned that in a month or year from now, you’ll regret giving away so much.”
Missy got up and made her way over to the window, and gazed outside. “I made my mind up the week after Christmas. It’s February now, and I have not one doubt. Actually, the house is sold, if everything goes through, and I made a bid on the Victorian house on Maple Street.”
“It’s a beauty,” Janice said.
“I hope to serve people for the rest of my life, not live in isolation, away from the world. No, my tea will be top quality but cheap, as my profit will be in serving and speaking to my customers. I’ve wanted a teashop ever since I was a little girl, and my dream is about to come true.”
Janice noticed that Missy looked younger, no rigid jaw line, or furrowed brow. Her whole countenance had changed. God had made her shine, and Janice had no doubts now that what she wanted to do came from her heart, and not as a way to pay back the church. But to be sure, she asked, “So, you want the total amount we talked about to go to a homeless ministry in our church, not out of any debt you feel you owe us?”
Missy looked at her sternly, wagging a finger. “Only one condition.”
Janice’s head jerked back. “What?”
“You become a regular at my teahouse.”
Janice burst into laughter and relief washed over her. She thought back to A Christmas Carol and how quickly Scrooge had changed. Missy was like a modern day Ebenezer, one who she was sure would be changing the whole town for the good. Giving to poor little Tiny Tim’s, boys without homes.
~*~
Granny nervously clenched on to Jeb’s wool coat as he opened the side door to Ruth and Luke’s place. “Anyone home?” he yelled.
“Come on into the living room,” Luke’s voice was heard.
As they made their way into the living room, Granny couldn’t help it. She ran to Luke, threw her arms around his neck, and embraced him. “Bless you. A new boppli. A wee girl.”
Luke hugged her back. “Jah, and she’s a sweet natured little thing at only three days old.”
“We stayed away so Ruth could rest…” Granny looked back at Jeb who looked too serious. “But we’re here now to bring some food, pies and other goodies.”
Jeb took her cue to speak. “Jah, have it all out in the buggy.”
“Danki. Hang up your hats and coats. Don’t act like strangers.”
Granny slipped off her cape and bonnet and Luke placed them on the pegboard out in the kitchen. “Jeb, you staying?”
Jeb was roused out of what appeared to be daydreaming. “Ach, jah.” He took off his outer garments and hung them on the peg, too. But he took the book he had in his pocket out first. “This is for you. Best book I’ve ever read…”
Luke looked at the title. “Pilgrim’s Progress. Can’t say that I’ve read it. Is it a history book about the Mayflower Colony?”
Jeb shook his head. “Nee, it was written in a time of great persecution in Europe. John Bunyan was in jail when he wrote it, and it’s like a journey through hard times.”
Luke hit Jeb playfully on the shoulder. “You going to start a lit circle like the womenfolk?” He turned to Granny. “I’d say those books you picked are mighty helpful and Ruth feels she owes you a lot.”
“Really?” Granny felt heat rise in her face. “We all pick the books. It’s not anything special I do.”
“Nee, you’re wrong. The way you’ve taken the women under your wing like a mother hen has really affected Ruth.”
Granny looked over at Jeb, her eyes pleading for him to inquire about Luke’s odd behavior. Was he sleep deprived that he was being so sentimental? Or was the emotion of having a new daughter making him a little giddy?”
But Jeb said nothing.
“Well, can we see the boppli?”
Ruth appeared at the bottom of the steps. “Jah, you can see Debbie…” Ruth slowly walked over and placed the little girl in Granny’s outstretched arms.
“We’ll call her Little Debbie, like the snack we all love.”
Pure love soared from Granny’s heart to the little child in her arms. “She’s so sweet, so naming her after a dessert’s mighty appropriate.”
Smicksburg Tales 1,2 & 3 (Amish Knitting Circle, Amish Friends Knitting Circle & Amish Knit Lit Cirlce ~ Complete Series: 888 pages for Granny Weaver Lovers and 30+ Amish Recipes Page 75