“Pilgrim didn’t go back, but God did.”
“What?” Fannie asked.
“Well, Jesus lived in the Celestial City before he came to earth, which is what the City of Destruction symbolizes. Not the beautiful world God created, but the fallen human condition, understand?”
Fannie just stared into Jeb’s grayish blue eyes. “Wow, I never thought of that. The City of Destruction was a horrible place.”
“Well, if we’re to imitate our Lord, we need to do the same. But your mamm doesn’t live in the City of Destruction, since she’s a believer. She’s struggling on her path to the Celestial City like we all are. And remember, Christian lost his burden when he stood in the shadow of the cross.” He took Fannie’s hand. “Let it go.”
Fannie’s chin quivered. “How can I? When I see my mamm doting over Anna, I want to shake her. There, I said it. She never showed me the affection she’s showing my Anna. Why?”
“Grandkinner are so easy to love. You don’t have the responsibility of caring day and night, and the exhaustion, either. And with age comes wisdom, jah? Maybe your mamm has regrets over how she’s raised you and wants to make things right with Anna?”
Granny put her arm around Fannie. “You have to forgive your mamm. We’ve been over this again and again. It’s for your own goot. I think it’s the depression talking here.”
Fannie shook her head. “I’m not depressed!”
“Take it from a mamm of six, jah, you are.”
“Six?”
“Five boys here and one girl waiting to meet us in heaven.”
Fannie’s countenance dropped. “I’m sorry. I forget.”
“You’re looking inward too much,” Jeb said. “Can’t see others very clear that way.”
Is that what was wrong with her? Had she only looked at her own problems… and is this what postpartum depression did?
~*~
Granny took the remaining oatmeal muffins she’d served to visitors all morning, to the coffee table in the living room. “Help yourselves, and like usual, there’s coffee and tea hot on the stove.” She wiped her brow and looked at Janice. “Being a bishop’s wife is hard work.”
Janice looked up from her knitting, one eyebrow cocked. “Yep, sure is. But we don’t have such strict rules for Easter as you do.”
“What do you mean?” Suzy asked.
“Well, you won’t have communion unless everyone’s in unity, right? No unforgiveness?”
“Jah,” Granny said. “You don’t?”
Janice groaned. “I’ve lived in Smicksburg for decades, and yet, I’m still rethinking things. We should stress forgiveness and unity before communion. We have it once a month, though, and yinz have it once a year, right?”
Granny nodded. “Some have it twice, but we have it at Easter. I think the spring weather, and the sun, whenever it does come out, makes folks more chipper and apt to get along.” She looked around the circle. “Jeb and I have been using Pilgrim’s Progress to help the flock. Sure is a helpful book.”
Mona groaned. “Hope it helped Fannie…”
Suzy cleared her throat. “We don’t talk about members if they’re not here. No gossip.”
“I wasn’t gossiping,” Mona huffed.
Suzy slumped in her seat. “Where’s Lizzie?”
“I brought Charles over to visit Jonas, and she’s spoiling him with homemade goodies,” Janice said with appreciation. “That kid needs some doting on.”
Suzy nodded in agreement and then pointed to Mona. “What did you get out of Pilgrim’s Progress?”
Mona straightened. “Well, I could relate about having burdens on my back and was happy for Pilgrim when they fell off. But what’s a wicket gate? Anyone know? A ‘fancy’ name for a gate?”
“It’s a narrow gate, sometimes a smaller door within a larger door,” Janice said.
“My, aren’t we smart,” Marge laughed. “You watched the movie, didn’t you?”
Janice pursed her lips and then grinned. “We have been so busy with the farm that, yes I did.” She looked over at Mona. “It’s a narrow gate. Go on Mona, sorry to interrupt.”
Mona looked down at her yarn. “I didn’t see it as a narrow gate. I suppose it’s a reminder to stay on the straight and narrow. Now if I remember right, wasn’t the path that led to the Celestial City narrow, too?”
Granny shot a prayer up for Mona. She was seeing things she’d never seen before. Opening up like crocuses outside. “Mona, what do you like about the narrow gate and path?”
Mona bit her lower lip and then her rigid face relaxed. “Pilgrim was never alone on the path. As scared as he was, he was never alone.” She shyly looked around the room. “I’ve tried to stay on the straight and narrow, but fell. Fell into depression, fears, and bitterness. I see now it’s not goot to be alone.” She held her throat as if what she was going to say next was painful. “I’m mighty glad I was invited to this here knitting circle. I have yinz all to walk the path with. Helped me as I fall all the time.”
Granny got up and nearly ran to Mona. “Ach, bless you. We all fall. Pilgrim fell.” She leaned over and hugged Mona, who hugged her back. “You have us all to pick you up. We’re knit-pickers, jah?”
Mona laughed. “Jah. Danki Granny.”
Granny stepped back. “You called me Granny. Praise be.”
Laughter filled the room.
Mona tried to hide her laughter. “I’m too old to call you that, though.”
Granny cupped Mona’s cheek. “You call me Granny anyhow, understand?”
“Jah, Granny,” Mona quipped.
Granny went back to her seat, a lilt in her step. Praise be. Mona’s a new woman. She’s learning the need for fellowship. Women are stronger spun together, like wool. Praise be! Granny sat next to Colleen and pat her knee. “You’re quiet today. Tired from all the work over at the farm?”
Colleen shifted. “Jah. I suppose.”
Granny knew something was amiss, as Colleen was not her calm, good-natured self. Had the book upset her? “Colleen, did you like Pilgrim’s Progress?”
“Well, I remember in Little Women that the girls read this book, and pretended to carry burdens. I liked that.”
“Why?” Granny prodded.
“Because I like Little Women. It’s my favorite book, next to The Secret Garden.”
Granny did not like the way Colleen was acting English, beating around the bush, as Jeb always called it. The Amish talked plain and straight forward.
Robins chirped and called to each other, something Granny loved about these spring birds. Birds were predictable, and so far, so had Colleen been. What was wrong?
“Maryann, how about you? Did you like the book?” Suzy asked.
“Ach, so much. Too much to tell. But I’m ever so thankful for the light God gives us on a journey. When I was battling cancer, it was the only stable thing to me. Fear, anger, all kinds of emotions washed away when the light of God’s Word, or God with skin on, as Marge called it. Someone who you could feel, a human, who just held me.” She looked over at Marge. “You were there for me, body, mind, and spirit. You were like Hopeful and Faithful all wrapped into one.” She glanced around the circle. “Marge was my nurse, so I saw her the most. But yinz did, in some way, give me light.” Maryann took Mona’s hand. “Or if I didn’t see you, I knew you were praying.”
Marge gasped for air. “Maryann, I’m going to blow.”
“What?”
“I’m going to gush out in tears.” She fanned her face with one hand. “Maryann, you helped me see God more clearly. Joe too. And what about Lavina? You were a great light and help to that girl.”
“Ach,” Maryann said. “I’ll miss her. I don’t mean to be questioning the ways of God, but I didn’t see that coming. Becca is so sad.”
“Me too,” Colleen spoke up.
Granny took Colleen’s hand. “Is that what’s ailing you, Colleen? Because you’re in goot company. I’m tired of always moving forward on the path to the Celestial Ci
ty. But Pilgrim always moved on. Nothing stays the same.” She sighed. “Wish I could bottle moments up, preserve them forever. “
Colleen said nothing, but Granny felt her hand harden. “Colleen… are you nervous about your baptism this Sunday?”
She nodded. “Can we talk about this later? In private?”
The fear, no guilt, in Colleen’s eyes made Granny realize that she might have some things to confess before communion. “I’m sorry, Colleen. Jah, of course. Want to see Jeb after circle?”
“Nee, no time today. But tomorrow?”
“Okay. That’ll be fine.” Granny looked over at Suzy to divert the attention from Colleen. “Suzy, what did you get out of the book.”
“Well, Vanity Fair was made out to be an awful place, full of money-hungry, greedy folks. Pilgrim stood out like a sore thumb, and it made me realize so do I. And Ginny Rowland, too. And boy did it help Missy. Missy said she’d never seen people so happy who lived on top of their stores.” Suzy chuckled. “And now Missy’s going to be doing it in her new tea shop.”
“She’s like Hopeful,” Maryann blurted. “Hopeful saw something different in Pilgrim and started on the narrow road with him. Ach, that’s wunderbar.”
“I’m sure glad she went on the straight and narrow,” Janice said, “or we wouldn’t have the farm.”
“Janice!” Suzy chided. “What are you talking about? The person who gave us the money for the farm was called Anonymous.”
Janice’s eyes were round as buttons. “Oh, yinz can’t tell anyone. Missy wants to be an anonymous donor.”
“Why?” Mona asked.
Suzy spoke up. “She doesn’t want to be loved for what she can give. She’s not used to being loved for who she is.”
“She needs to come to knitting circle,” Mona quipped. “Lots of love here.”
“I’ll do that,” Suzy said. “But the word is mum about her being the donor, understand?”
All heads nodded in agreement.
Suzy took an oatmeal muffin off the table and placed it on a napkin. “Granny, I’m curious what you got out of the book, or is it old hat to you.”
“Old hat?”
“Yes, something you’ve read so many times you don’t get much out of it anymore.”
Granny shook her head. “Jeb’s the one who’s read it over and over. Not me. But I simply love it. And I needed it, especially the part about the lions. Poor Pilgrim was so afraid, but the lions were on chains and as long as he stayed on the lighted path, they couldn’t get to him. Mighty powerful parable of sorts.”
“I agree,” Janice said. “And if you see the movie on YouTube, it’ll stick in your mind.”
Suzy let out an exasperated sigh. “Janice, did you check your brains out at the door? First you tell us who the donor is, and now you’re telling the Amish to watch YouTube?”
Janice eyed Suzy. “We’ve had a stressful day at the farm, have we not? And I’m tired. I do make mistakes.”
“I’m sorry.” Suzy bit into her muffin. “You’re overworked with this whole project.” She grabbed a muffin and gave it to Janice. “Here, have one. Oatmeal’s good for you.”
Janice took the muffin with a smile that slid across her face. “Thanks… Obstinate.”
Suzy took a ball of yarn out of her basket and threw it at Janice. “That’s the worst character in the book!” She ran over and got another muffin and threatened to throw it at Janice’s face. “Take that back.”
Janice set a face bold towards Suzy. “Make me.”
Suzy stooped down, got a ball of yarn, and flung it at Janice, but missed her and hit a framed picture on the wall. Granny gasped, as Marge braced it as it swung, almost falling to pieces. Granny shot up. “Now don’t act like kinner. You almost broke my family tree.”
Suzy quickly sat down. “Sorry, Granny. I know that picture means a lot.” She lowered her head and slowly knit. “Thanks for keeping me on the straight and narrow. I do stray at times.”
“Ach, I’m not against having fun,” Granny said. “But we need to wrap up this discussion. We have more confessors coming over soon and Marge hasn’t shared what she got out of the book.”
Marge clapped her hands. “Well, I felt like I was Pilgrim. Going on the path, straying on the path, but ending up at the Celestial City in the end. Joe and I have been on a journey, moving to Smicksburg, then back to Indiana, and now back to the Celestial City.”
Maryann gawked. “Smicksburg? The Celestial City? Nee, Heaven is.”
“And Smicksburg,” Marge explained, “is the next best thing. I call it my slice of heaven. I’m so happy to be back.”
“And it’s wunderbar to have my old neighbor back,” Granny said. “I’ll miss Nathan and Lavina, for sure and for certain, but we move forward, jah?”
Echoes of ‘jah’s’ and ‘yeses’ bounced around the walls of Granny’s heart, making her glad.
~*~
Marge snuggled closer to Joe on the church pew. “Can you believe we’ll only be two miles from church again?”
He beamed. “Never knew becoming a Christian could be this much fun. Not a sappy religion for pansies at all.”
Jerry mounted to his pulpit, looked around at the “Faithful Forty”, as he called them: the Wednesday night church goers. “Well, it’s good to see you all. Tonight will be different, since I have some announcements to make, and then we’ll have a special time of worship for what God has done.” He lifted up Pilgrim’s Progress. “This here book has helped many a Pilgrim on his journey; his Christian walk. Everyone seems to get something different out of it, depending on what they’re facing in real life. But, first of all, I want to tell you that the author, John Bunyan, was a good Baptist.” He chuckled. “Okay, the real truth is, he was Baptist, but preferred to be called simply as ‘Christian’. Is it any wonder that his main character, the Pilgrim, is named Christian?”
Heads in the congregation shook and one woman yelled an ‘amen’ from the back.
“Now Bunyan lived in poverty, and when old enough to have an occupation, became a tinker, a mender of pots and pans. So he was always traveling, just like the main character in his book. I found that interesting. So, Bunyan was always on a journey, and not shying from it like a Hobbit.” He shifted. “Sometimes I see folks in small towns as Hobbits, J.R.R. Tolkien’s midget characters in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.” Jerry looked down at Janice who sat in the front pew next to Charles. “I know. I’m on a bunny trail again, but did you all see the new movie?”
Some heads nodded, while others looked at each other in bewilderment.
“Well, I get a lot out of those movies that take us on journeys, full of danger, booby-traps and all that stuff. But this time through Pilgrim’s Progress, I wasn’t taken with the action parts as much as the soul parts.
“Let me explain. What I saw as the main action was fellowship and looking out for each other. Pilgrim is never alone, for one thing. And when he falls into trouble, when he calls out, there’s help from mostly other travelers. I really liked the part when his friend, Hopeful, comes along in the story. Hopeful was stuck living in Vanity Fair, a carnal, money-loving place. When he met Christian, he saw something different in him. A joy not attached to material possessions. So, he becomes his companion, meaning he becomes a believer on the road to the Celestial City. But this younger friend ends up saving Pilgrim.
“There’s a rough road that the two have to travel on, and Pilgrim’s feet start to hurt so badly, that he wants to take a short cut. Hopeful warns him they need to stay on the straight and narrow, but no, Pilgrim is older and wiser and thinks he knows best. They end up being taken prisoner at Doubting Castle. They almost die by the hand of Giant Despair, but, now get this, Hopeful keeps saying words of, well, hope, and this hope breaks through despair and they’re free.” Jerry clapped his hands and shouted, “Hallelujah. Isn’t that so true? Hope kills despair, right?”
All heads nodded, and Marge leaned her head on Joe’s shoulder, whispering in his ear, “Now i
sn’t that the truth.”
Jerry walked down from the altar and pulled Charles up to his feet. “You’ve all met Charles, but if not, this is a new addition to our family for a while. He’s become a source of hope to Janice and myself, in a most unlikely way. And you may ask why. Well, we were thinking that maybe I should take a job down south as a professor in a Bible college.”
Gasps echoed throughout the church.
“We’re not going anywhere, though. And it’s because Charles gave us hope, and hope moves us in a different direction. Sit down, Son,” Jerry said to Charles, after squeezing his shoulder. “You see, this young man, Charles, made a dangerous journey to visit an Amish friend, not unlike Pilgrim. He was fleeing from his own City of Destruction, and that takes courage. Now, from all he’s told us, we know there’s a real need for foster homes right here in the USA.” He motioned for Janice to come stand by him, and when she did, he took her hand. “We want to announce that we’ll be opening a foster house, being connected with a Christian foster care agency here in Pennsylvania. It’s approved by the state and all. And we’re happy to say that it’s on Peach Street in an Amish farm turned modern.” He motioned for Marge and Joe to stand up, which they did. “Marge and Joe will move back into their old dawdyhaus, with electricity this time,” he chuckled, “and we’ll have a working farm for foster boys to learn to bond with animals and whatnot. Also cuts costs.” He motioned for Marge and Joe to sit down, and Janice also took her seat. “Are there any questions?”
A man shot up from the back pew. “Who’s paying for all this? We can barely make the payment to the orphanage in Haiti.”
Jerry shoved his hands in his pockets. “We got a large donation that will cover all the costs.”
Chatter and fingers pointing to wealthier members ensued. Suzy looked back at Marge, finger to her lips, and Marge nodded. It would be hard not to slip up someday and spill the beans, that Suzy’s knitting pupil was the mystery woman. Marge knew she’d have to be extra careful, living at the house behind the main farmhouse.
Another hand arose. “Is anyone going to live in the farm? Joe and Marge will live in a separate house, leaving them to themselves?”
Smicksburg Tales 1,2 & 3 (Amish Knitting Circle, Amish Friends Knitting Circle & Amish Knit Lit Cirlce ~ Complete Series: 888 pages for Granny Weaver Lovers and 30+ Amish Recipes Page 80