Playing God

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Playing God Page 19

by Lana Pecherczyk


  Jed met us at a corner cafeteria table.

  Between Bruce’s shock acquiescence, and my flashbacks of being poisoned, my stomach was in turmoil. Cyanide was more than a memory. I could actually taste its bitterness in my mouth. I refused to eat the food, instead content to glare at groups congregating at other tables. With the remainder of the second trial suspended until tomorrow, and little else to do in the underground, most came here to feed.

  The creepy goth girl from Astraia House with precognition watched me with spectacular interest. No more hiding behind black painted fingernails in her teeth. Her four friends gave me occasional glances, but she never took her attention off me.

  “I’ll get you some food,” Cash said, bringing my awareness back to him. “You should try the Lamb Brisket. It’s nowhere near as good as Ma makes, but Jacine said it’s not bad.”

  I sensed an attempt at cheering me up. I liked meeting his mother and enjoyed her cooking even better. But it was no use. I wouldn’t eat here.

  “How about I get you a bowl?” He got up to leave.

  I stopped him with a hand to his wrist. “Can’t I eat back at your place? Less chance I’ll be killed there.”

  “The food is all from the same place, Roo. Eat.”

  “Yes, you should eat.” Jed approached our table.

  “No,” I replied then shrugged. “You can’t blame me.”

  “You’ll go hungry then.” Cash waved for Jed to sit down.

  “Would you eat at the place you were poisoned, Jed?”

  “Uh, I don’t think you have a choice, Roo.”

  “Yes I do. I’m going topside to get something later.”

  Cash slapped his palms on the table. “Not on your own, you won’t.”

  “You don’t own me, Cash.”

  “I don’t care.”

  “Yes, you do care, Cash. You care so much you think you can tell me what to do and say.”

  A dangerous intensity crept into his voice. “You know you can’t go out in public without a guardian. That’s not my rule.”

  “I should come back later.” Jed rose halfway to standing.

  “No!” I yelled at the same time Cash said, “Sit down.”

  Cash returned his glower my way. “Why are you arguing with me?”

  I glared back. “You tried to stop me from helping Lincoln.”

  “No, I tried to stop you from hurting yourself. I don’t give a flying fuck about Lincoln.”

  My fist slammed on the table. “I do.”

  He exhaled, shaking his head. “Why? I told you, he’s not—”

  “Don’t say he’s not my real brother. I know. I’ve been reminded ten times over. There’s no need to patronize me.”

  “So, why? Help me understand.”

  I pressed my lips together because I couldn’t tell him. I didn’t know. Maybe I was a sucker for my father’s use of familial words, or maybe it was the gift horse Lincoln left on my bedside table when I was comatose. Bruce didn’t fight for him, so I did. Every soul deserved a chance at happiness.

  “There are more important things for us to be doing, like figuring out how the hell we’re going to stop those names on the list from being crossed out.”

  Jed picked at a spot on the table. “Names on a list?”

  I took a deep breath. We hadn’t told Jed, yet. When I relayed what I’d found, his expression darkened.

  Cash moved to stand next to me. “If we weren’t wasting time on Lincoln, I wouldn’t have to spend the evening with the Tribunal pleading your case. We could be working on the list, or preparing you for the next trial.”

  “I’m not apologizing for saving him.”

  Cash’s head shot up, eyes speared toward the cafeteria entrance. I followed his gaze and regretted it.

  “Great.” Bitterness twisted my mouth out of shape. “Just what I need.”

  Jacine walked toward us, swaying her hips, clicking her heals. All heads swiveled her way. I had to admit, she was hard to ignore. Perfect body, perfect face. Jealousy speared through me when I caught Cash and Jed’s eyes glued to her approach.

  Her eyes were for my mentor only. “My quarters in five, hunter.”

  “Can it wait?” he asked rudely.

  “No.” She sniffed, looked fixedly at me, and then turned around and left, seductively sashaying as she went.

  I snorted. She and her perfect ass can bite me. “We don’t have to do what she says.”

  “You weren’t invited, Roo,” Cash said, then turned to Jed. “I won’t be long. Don’t let her go anywhere.”

  My jaw hit the floor.

  “Stop gawking, Roo,” Jed said as Cash walked away. “She’s the boss. If she wants to shake her perfect ass in his face, then she can. He has to go.”

  I shot Jed accusing eyes.

  “What? She’s hot. We’re not blind.”

  “What the hell has gotten into you all?”

  He shrugged. “She’s the Goddess of Love.”

  Oh for heaven’s sake. I stood up. “I’m going above ground to get some real food.”

  “Didn’t you hear Cash? He said not to go anywhere.”

  I shrugged. “He can tell me to my face instead of talking over me and acting like I’m not here.”

  Jed scratched his ears. They poked out from under his auburn hair. I used to find it adorable. He’d been my probation officer for three years. When half the town stayed away from me because they thought I was a witch, he’d been my friend. Even before we knew we were both part of the Game. Now, he was irritating me as much as anyone.

  “I’m coming with you,” he said, standing.

  I slid him shifty eyes. “Suit yourself.”

  I left the room, not caring that the goth girl from Astraia House followed me with her eyes the entire way.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  “IT’S ODD,” I said to Jed as we walked down a busy street, away from the Ludus and the Opera House. “Why wouldn’t Bruce want me at dinner when he’d insisted every other time?”

  The summer evening stifled and the harbor water lapped nearby. The night was perfect for a walk, and many people must have agreed with me, the walkways were packed full of commuters heading home after a long day at work. Passing by shop windows, it was hard not to catch the Christmas decorations. So much had happened in the past month that time had run away from me. I turned from the windows, back to Jed.

  “I don’t know,” he replied. “But you can’t tell for sure he’s behind the assassination attempts. You only know what Ava said to you. Don’t let your emotions rule your judgment.”

  “Jed.” I stopped walking. I couldn’t help the derisive tone that bled into my voice. “It’s dinner with Epsilon House. They’re clearly working together.”

  “I’m not so sure about that, but I agree with you about not wanting you at dinner. It’s out of character.”

  “What do you think is his character?” I asked and continued to walk. I was unsure of the answer myself. Bruce had been determined to have me live with him and abide by his rules. It was the one thing he’d made a big deal about—keeping me close for my royal duties. “I mean, does he have a history in this world? Is he the basis of some human myth, just like Jacine and Marc? Do you know? I don’t.”

  I shoved my hands in my pockets and walked in silence next to Jed, also lost in thought. Or, perhaps he left me to sort through my messed up mind on my own. There were still a few things irritating me.

  Like Jacine for starters. The Goddess of Love with her mitts all over Cash.

  “Do you know who I am?” I asked Jed, out of the blue.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You know, like I just said: Cash is Orion the Hunter, or the Archangel Michael… whatever you want to call him. Ava is some warrior princess from Ursa constellation. Even Lincoln thinks he’s the God of War. Anyway, that’s what I’m talking about. Most people know they’re from a certain part of the Empire. They stick together in Houses. You have a map. I’ve never seen it, but I’m
assuming you have one.” He nodded in the affirmative. “Right, so everyone has a map. But not me. Cash said he knows who I truly am but he won’t tell me. Marc has to do it.”

  “He’s right. Don’t listen to the myths, Roo. Despite what you think, or what you’ve been told, it’s all conjecture. The Gamekeeper is the only one who knows for sure who any of us might be. And he doesn’t tell. For all we know, the myths were made up by him in a drunken haze.”

  “Do you really believe that?”

  “All I know is we can’t remember the truth. We don’t all have the power to search our memories or past lives like Cash.”

  His words struck me and I halted. Ava was right.

  “What’s the matter?” he asked.

  “We can’t remember,” I said.

  “That’s what I said.”

  “But what if we could remember?”

  He narrowed his eyes. “I don’t understand.”

  “I’ve been going about this all wrong. I thought I’d find the answers at the depository, but all I need to do is reach back into my own mind. I need to see the librarian.”

  “Sorry. Still don’t get it.”

  I shook him by the shoulders, grinning. “I have the Book of the Dead inside me. When I absorbed Petra’s grimoire, it tried to self-destruct, but it’s still there, and it has answers.”

  “Where are we headed?” Jed asked, changing the subject. “There’s a nice restaurant at the end of the gardens.”

  It was then I noticed we’d wandered away from the Opera House and into Royal Botanical Gardens. The life-force of nature infused me with warmth. I sighed and smiled, head tilted to the night sky. Those fake windows in the Ludus were marvelous, but they were no match for the real thing. I missed this fresh air, the buzzing electricity of nature. Ever since I discovered I could sense the auras, I found I could also feel life emanating from everything around me. Like that little pot plant at Cash’s apartment. Here it was magnified. The trees, the ants, the animals. It was all connected.

  I thought of Wren. She spoke to animals, but her mentor wanted her below ground, working with the rest of Cetus in the depository. I frowned. The more time I spent here, following their rules, the more I had the urge to break them. To free everyone. If only I had the power.

  My stomach clenched into knots, hungry, reminding me of Jed’s question about restaurant choice. I was about to reply when I saw a familiar person sitting on a park bench under the bright light of a lamp.

  A despondent Marc mumbled to himself as he twirled something in his fingers. It looked like a tiny vial of something. He wore Cricket whites, zinc on his lower lip and a baggy green cap on his head. I’d recognize that potent aura anywhere.

  “Marc?” I said tentatively, stepping closer.

  “Love?” His sorrowful eyes cleared when they noticed me. His fingers closed over the item in his hands, hiding it from view. “You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice.”

  I didn’t care that Jed was with me that he would see my affection for the one person off limits to Players. I rushed to sit next to Marc and hugged him tight. “I missed you.”

  “And I, you, love.”

  His large hands tightened around me. I buried my face into his neck, smelling the forest and life within him. It was a scent I always smelled on him. I waited for his usual innuendo, or butt grab. But he did none of it. He held me tight. Respectable.

  Something was wrong. I pulled back.

  “We’ve been waiting for you to come back. The trials have started,” I said.

  “Without me?” Incredulous, he blinked. “They couldn’t bloody wait a couple of days?” Then he drooped. “Doesn’t matter, anyway.”

  “You’re not your usual jovial self. Did you lose a game?”

  “Game?” He looked wistfully over my shoulder. “The bloody Game.”

  “Yes, Cricket. Did you play a game?”

  He came to his senses and glanced at his attire. “Oh, this game. No, love, I only played a spot to cheer myself up. Cricket always lifts my spirits. I changed my face to match the captain and then made him fall asleep in the change room. Done it before without a hitch. Just not tonight.” He sighed and placed his palms on his eyes. “I lost it in front of them all. A test match. Thousands of Simons at the Sydney Cricket Ground. Recorded for them to play on their Tele-boxes. Too wrapped up in my misery, I was. Just couldn’t hold it. My face changed back.”

  That wasn’t good. Usually it was his job to hide the mistakes of Players from the world. Who would hide his mistake?

  “Maybe we can break into the studio, or something. Erase the tapes.” I placed a gentle palm on his arm. “Or maybe the camera wasn’t on you.”

  He gripped my hand fiercely with his own. Sadness consumed him, from his eyes to his aura. I couldn’t protect myself, it leaked into myself. My heart ached.

  “I can’t do it,” he said. “I tried. Walked here from the SCG, but as soon as I got this close, I couldn’t do it. Been sitting here, thinking, for hours.”

  “Marc,” I breathed. “I’ll help you get the tapes. Jed, too. Just point me in the right direction. Better yet, take me there now.”

  “You always were the pragmatic one, Sephie.”

  “Who’s Sephie?” I asked.

  He jerked as though being shot. His eyes widened and he let go of my hand. “I’m sorry, love. I can’t do it.”

  And then he was gone.

  Electrified silence filled the air while Jed and I stared, gobsmacked. Nothing left, but a crumpled up white Cricket suit. I used my index finger to lift the fabric. Real. He must have dressed in the actual captain’s uniform. Not an illusion.

  Jed shrugged at my questioning glance. He had no clue, either.

  I got to my feet and dusted myself off. “Probably a good idea we let Cash know Marc is back. Let’s get back to the Ludus, I think I saw a food truck at the start of the park.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  I WOKE IN the morning to an empty bed, room and apartment. No sign of Cash anywhere. The separation anxiety that took root in my heart squeezed and suffocated until I had difficulty breathing. He wasn’t here.

  He hadn’t come home.

  He left you again, my passengers said.

  I got out of bed and checked my phone which had been charging in the kitchen.

  One message. From Cash:

  —Running late. Don’t wait up.

  That was it.

  Running late.

  I didn’t know whether to be happy or annoyed. He’d contacted me, but barely. I settled on annoyed because I needed him. Marc had come home, and I had no one to talk to about his weirdness. I shot a quick text back, telling Cash I wanted to speak with him. Minutes passed with me staring at the blank screen on my phone, waiting.

  A quick shake and I snapped out of it. If Kitty could see me now.

  Guilt speared me at the thought of my best friend. There were a mountain of unanswered texts from her on my phone. The urge to speak with her overwhelmed me. Having dated half the town, she had uncanny insights into the minds of men. She might be able to help talk me down off my ledge. The last time we spoke was when I landed in Sydney, but that was days ago, and even then it had been a five-minute call because I couldn’t exactly confide in the true nature of my life. She knew I was special, but not gods-playing-on-earth special.

  First rule of Game club, don’t reveal your supernatural status to humans.

  They were my friends. But they were human.

  The sooner I got these souls out of me, the sooner I finished the trials, and returned to my normal life back in Margaret River, working a monotonous job at a touristy bar. Sounded like a dream.

  If Kitty were here, she’d say, “Babe. You gotta take the wins where you can get them.”

  It was almost over. As long as the Tribunal didn’t rule against my interruption of Lincoln’s trial, I had one trial left. Then freedom.

  I shelved my angst and got dressed into some clothes. My wardrobe ran thin.
Just another reason I needed to get back to work at The Cauldron. Whether it was the old motocross bike I bought from saved tips, or the perfume that smelled like freedom. I worked hard for my things, and I was proud of it. The stretch jersey dress I pulled out of my suitcase had seen better days, but I paid for it. The hem had a runner in it, and the thin straps had lost a bit of elasticity, leaving me to gather them and tie them into a racer-back style with a ribbon. You’d only noticed those things if you looked closely.

  I checked myself in the small bathroom mirror. Not too shabby.

  The beige cotton clung to my torso, accentuating my curves, and then hung loose to my ankles. The color blended with my tanned skin. I looked good. Too bad Cash wasn’t here to see me.

  There must be an emergency. That’s why he took so long. The Tribunal hearing went over time.

  Or perhaps Jacine wants him for something else?

  “No. Cash isn’t like that.”

  You’ve only known him for a few weeks. What makes you think you know him?

  “I know him plenty.”

  You know how he likes to wash you in the shower, but do you know what he thinks? What he truly desires? Has he told you?

  “He wants me. I know he does.”

  Or does he simply want someone not the queen?

  “Shut up!” I yelled at my reflection, heart skipping wildly.

  When my bright, fiery eyes blinked back at me, I realized I’d been talking to myself. I grabbed a brush off the bench and yanked it through my tangled red hair, the bane of my existence. The color stood out like a sore thumb.

  Red hair.

  My gaze narrowed on the strands.

  That’s when all this nonsense started, when my hair had changed. I’d showered one day and took the towel off to discover my hair had inexplicably turned red. Tommy had said I looked like a fox on poke berry day, or something like that. Oh wait, it was redder than a fox’s ass on poke berry day.

 

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