The swelling in my heart actually made my chest ache. “Fox, that’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever wanted to do for me.” And then I thought about my work week. “And on Sundays and Mondays, you can call me. The rest of the days, let me call you. Most days I’ll be at work at this time, but I’ll make sure to take a quick break to call you every night before nine.”
“Thanks, Mom,” he said with what sounded like relief. “Can you save this number? It’s our home phone.”
“I sure will.” I cradled the phone in a way I’d never done before, like I was somehow reaching through it to hold him. “How did things go between you and your dad?”
“Bad,” he said then paused. “But then good.”
Relief flowed through me, hearing that they’d worked things out. It had been clear to me earlier that the two had a few differing opinions about how they wanted things to proceed. “Good. Fox, please don’t argue with your dad about anything to do with me. I would really hate to come between you two.”
“You won’t. And I’ll try not to. It’s just that I get real mad when it comes to you. Weird, huh?” he asked me.
My mind went to my parents, and the way they could get real mad too when it came to me. I guess I just had that effect on people. How charming.
“Well, you should work on controlling that, because being angry a lot isn’t any fun. Your father is a good man. He’ll do what’s right, I know he will.” At least I hoped he would.
“Yeah, I think your right.” There was silence on the other end for a long moment before he switched gears, shocking me with his questions when it came. “Do you have anything that you’ve done that I should know about?”
I had no idea what kind of things he was talking about. “Like what?”
“Like wrecking a car, or like, killing people …”
I stopped him right there. “No. I can see where you’re headed, Fox. Your dad must’ve said something about my driving, didn’t he? So here it is. I’ve had two tickets in my life, both for speeding. I tended to have a heavy foot back then. But I’ve got that under control now. I know I spun my tires a little when I pulled out of the parking lot, so your dad might be thinking I’m a reckless driver, but I’m not. That car has a V-8 engine, so sometimes I spinout on occasion without meaning to.”
“Okay, good.” I could hear tapping and thought it sounded like a pencil tapping on paper. Maybe he’d written a list of things to ask me. The idea made me smile.
My son wanted to get to know me, and I thought that was the sweetest thing in the world. “To let you know more about me, I’ve never been arrested. I’ve never been in a fist fight. I’ve never kicked a dog.” I laughed. “Overall, I’m a pretty good person. But I’ve got to admit one thing to you, Fox.”
He sounded a little worried. “What?”
“It’s been a long time since I’ve had anyone in my life that I truly cared about. I don’t know how good I’m going to be at being a mom.” My chest deflated as the truth set in. I had no clue how to be a good mother. And I hoped to God I wouldn’t become anything like my own mother.
“But you’re gonna try, right?” he asked, sounding shy for once.
I had never dared to even dream that my son would come back into my life. But now that he was in it, I didn’t want to let him go ever again. “I’m going to try very hard, Fox. I’m going to try harder than I’ve tried at anything else in my life.”
“Good. You can do it, Mom. I know you can.” His faith in me was also an unfamiliar thing in my life. No one had ever had any faith in me, least of all my parents.
“It’s nine now. You better get to sleep.” I heard the sound of a door opening.
Then Kane’s voice traveled through from the background. “It’s nine, sport. Time to get off the phone and into bed.”
“’K. I just called Mom to tell her goodnight,” Fox told him.
There was a moment of silence. “How’d you get her number?” Kane asked.
“Off your phone,” he answered. “I’ve gotta go, Mom. Goodnight. I hope you have nice dreams.”
No one had ever wished for me to have nice dreams. It felt so insanely great that I thought I must be kind of weirdo to feel such elation over these simple words of kindness from the son I thought I’d lost a long time ago. “Goodnight, Fox. I hope you do too.”
“I love you,” he said quickly, like he was blurting it out before he lost his nerve. As I caught my breath, feeling my heart swell again, he asked tentatively, “Is that okay?”
I didn’t know what to say. The truth was that no one had ever spoken those words to me before. And here it was, my son once again being the first person to say such a thing to me. “Fox, of course that is okay. It’s more than okay. I love you too.” The words slipped right off my tongue, as if I’d said them thousands of times.
“I love you too, Mom. Goodnight.” And then he hung up the phone.
I sat there, still cradling the phone in my hand, not ready to fully let go of the connection to my son. I finally put it down and closed my eyes. Everything was changing, and so quickly.
A part of me had a nagging notion that this would all end badly, as most things in my life had. The biggest part of me hoped like hell that this wouldn’t end at all. I hoped this would grow and take my entire life in a whole new direction.
Only a short while later, my cell rang again. This time Kane’s name came up on the screen. My heart raced as I looked at it. “Hi there,” I answered.
“Hi. How’re you doing?” he asked. I could hear clinking in the background, like ice cubes in a glass.
“Very good.” I didn’t want to admit to him that Fox had just said so many important things to me that I’d never heard from anyone else before. But that seemed rather pathetic to me.
A twenty-six-year-old woman who’d never been told those three little words, I love you, seemed like a tragedy. I didn’t want Kane to see me as a tragedy.
“So, Fox tells me that you two will have your first ritual, the goodnight call.” He chuckled. “I think that’s nice. But how’re you going to make that call when you’re working nights at the bar, Zandra?”
I knew he was just protecting his son and making sure I didn’t make any promises that I couldn’t keep. “You’re a great father, Kane Price. I had no idea, back then, that you were capable of being such a great dad.” I paused for minute, not knowing if I should go on. But I couldn’t keep all these thoughts to myself anymore. “If I’d realized that all those years ago, I might’ve just run away from my parents and gone straight to you.”
He got really quiet then finally said, “Let’s not talk about the past, Zandra. It’s not like we can change any of it. And thank you for the compliment.”
He was right. Why dwell on something neither of us could change? “You’re welcome. So, I bet you’ve got a boatload of questions for me. You may as well start asking.”
“Honestly, I do have some questions for you. Fox filled me in on your driving record, so I’ve got that one answered.” He laughed again and I heard him taking a drink of something before he went on. “How about this one—have you missed me?”
My body froze, going completely stiff. My fingers gripped the phone and I couldn’t think of what the hell to say to him.
Have I missed him?
He and I hadn’t had enough time together to make any kind of a real connection, or so I’d told myself over the years. But I had thought of him a lot. Was that the same thing as missing him?
“Kane, you and I didn’t know each other well enough for me to say that I missed you. I did think of you often, though.” I thought about letting him in on the truth, and after a brief moment of hesitation, decided to go for it. “And I have to admit this to you. Even though you were my first sexual experience, you were also by far that best.”
He let out a sigh. “You were mine too, Zandra.”
I couldn’t believe him. “No way. I don’t want you saying anything just to get into my panties again, Kane.”
/> “I’m not just saying it.” His voice dropped an octave, sounding even sultrier than his normal tone. “You and I connected more that night than I’ve ever connected with anyone. I don’t know what that says about me, but I know it’s the truth.”
If it was confession time, I decided I may as well lay it all on the line. “Kane, I did feel something special when I was with you. And I’ve compared you to every man I’ve ever had sex with, and you’ve won every single time. I’ve never connected with anyone either, other than that brief time with you. I guess that says something about us. Don’t you think so?”
“I do.” He took another drink and exhaled slowly. “But we’ve got to take things slow. Very slow.”
He had no idea how badly I wanted to not take things slow. I wanted to dive right into life with him and Fox and never come out. But I understood him. “Being the excellent parent that you are, I will go along with you on this.”
“Good. Follow my lead, Zandra, and I’m sure things will work out.” His sexy laugh sent chills through me. “That said, I’m talking about being in Fox’s life. When it comes to my life, to my bed, those rules don’t apply. Tell me what you’re wearing, baby.”
“Kane!” I guess I should’ve expected it, considering the way he’d come onto me in his office, but I couldn’t help my squeak of surprise at his one-eighty. “You’re so bad.” I laughed seductively, unable to help myself. He’d turned me into a hot mess—and in record time, too.
“I am. And I want to be bad with you. I’ve missed you, baby. I’ve missed the way your body feels when its pinned underneath mine. I’ve missed the way your tight pussy clenched around my cock. How your lips tasted and your tongue moved. How your tits felt when they were squished against my chest.”
“Damn,” I said, biting my lip and running my hand down between my legs. My pussy pulsed against my palm.
“You in your bedroom, baby?”
“Uh huh,” came my whispered reply. How did he do this me? Get me to do anything he wanted, even when I knew I shouldn’t?
“You naked?”
I wasn’t, but I quickly shucked my panties then pulled off the nightgown I’d been wearing. “Uh huh.”
A deep groan met my ear. “Good. Trail your fingers over your big tits. Pretend it’s me touching you.”
My nipples pebbled as I moved my hand over my boobs, pinching the nipples the way he’d done all those years ago. I could still recall every last detail of what we’d done that night. “’K.”
“Do you remember when I kissed your pussy?” he asked me, sending heat coursing through my veins.
“Uh huh.” I could barely breathe I was so turned on.
“My lips were the first to touch you there,” he whispered. “I want them to touch you there again. I want my mouth to be the one you pretend is on your sweet, hot cunt every time you touch yourself.”
“It already is.” I pushed one finger into myself and saw Kane’s face in my mind. “When I masturbate, it’s always you in my fantasies.”
“I want to fuck you for real, baby. I want to bend your ass over and fuck you until you’re begging me to stop, but I won’t stop until I feel your pussy pounding and pulsing as you scream my name and come all over my hard cock.” He groaned, and I was sure he was jacking off.
Looking in the drawer next to my bed, I got out my vibrator and lube. If he was going for it, so was I. Turning it on, I let him hear the noise it made. “I’m about to put your hard cock deep into my pussy, Kane.”
“Yes,” he whispered. “Put me inside of you, Zandra. I want to be inside of you so damn bad, it’s making me crazy.”
Pushing the vibrator into me, I moaned with desire. The man himself would’ve been even better, but I didn’t have access to him yet. At least he was on the other end of the line. Much closer than he’d been in years.
“Your cock is filling me up, Kane Price. You’re inside of me, fucking me the way you did so many years ago.” I moaned with pleasure, imagining that his hard body was on top of mine. Arching up, I pushed the vibrator as deep as I could into me.
My legs shook, a thin sheen of sweat covering me as I pushed and pulled the instrument, all the while thinking of the time we’d been together. “Let me fuck you, Zandra. Let me take you to a place you’ve never been, baby.”
“Yes,” I moaned. “Take me, Kane. Make me yours.”
“Oh, baby. My cock’s about to blow. Get ready,” he said through clenched teeth, then let out one long, deep growl. “Yes, baby. Yes!”
It didn’t seem possible, but my body was going right along with his. My orgasm tore through me, my juices pouring from me as I had to let go of the vibrator and grab onto the mattress as I arched my back and screamed. “Kane! Yes!”
After a few moments with no sound but both of our labored breathing, he finally spoke. Softly, he said, “Goodnight, baby. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Tomorrow!
Chapter 16
Kane
“Rocco, are you at the restaurant yet?” I asked my best buddy at ten minutes after ten the next morning.
“I am. What ya got, Kane?” he asked.
“I’ve got a problem.” I turned the car in his direction, heading that way. “You see, I’ve found Zandra Larkin.”
“You’re shittin’ me!”
Laughing at his response, I went on. “No, I’m not. And you’ll never believe this.”
“Believe what?” he asked.
“That waitress at Mynt on Saturday night was her.” I stopped at a light and tapped in a text to Zandra, asking her to please meet me at Rocco’s restaurant, The Lights of Italy.
“No way!” came his quick response. “So, what’s the problem?”
Looking at my cock, which had swollen with just the knowledge that I would be seeing her in person soon, I answered, “I’ve still got it bad for her.”
“And what’s wrong with that, might I ask?” A logical question, unless you were the father of an impressionable young son.
“I don’t know much about her, except that she’s a waitress at a bar. That’s the problem. I have to take things slow with her, for Fox’s sake. Get to know her. I never really knew her, you know what I mean?” I asked him as the light changed to green and I took off. “And I want to meet her somewhere where I have a little support. Yesterday I had a difficult time keeping my hands off her. If Fox hadn’t been about to come back into the office, I would’ve taken her right on top of my desk.” I thought about the night before and decided to add, “And last night we had phone sex.”
Surprise rang in his deep voice, “Goddamn, you guys just don’t know how to wait, do you?”
“Apparently not.” I knew that wouldn’t be an issue if it weren’t for our son. “But I’ve got to rein in my libido this time, and I’ll probably need your help to do that, Rocco. Let me meet her at your restaurant this morning before you guys open for lunch. That way we’ll have some privacy, but not enough to haul ass to the bathroom and do the thing that will surely make me lose all of my paternal instincts and forget all about my obligations to my son.”
“Ah, I see it more clearly now.” He laughed. “Yeah, come on down. That’ll be fine. And I’ll try to keep an eye on you two.”
“Thanks.” I turned onto the road that the restaurant was on. “I’m almost there. See ya soon.”
After ending the call, I saw that Zandra had texted back that she would be there shortly. My cock grew a little more, and I gave it a dirty look. “You’ll just have to wait this time, until after I get to know the girl. You know that Fox is worth it, you headstrong idiot.”
Talking to my cock wasn’t part of my usual routine, but that woman had scrambled my brains, and suddenly I was doing all kinds of things I never did. Or didn’t do much anymore. The last time I’d had phone sex was in my first year of college.
Maybe it was her soft voice that had done it to me. I didn’t know. I did know that I hadn’t made that call with that in mind. I had other things I’d wanted to talk
to her about. Instead, I’d gotten all hot and bothered with her.
She brought the bad boy out of me, no matter that I’d successfully stuffed that part of me away somewhere for the past few years. I didn’t know what to do about it, either.
In my son’s younger years, years when he wasn’t aware of his father’s promiscuous behavior, it had never mattered to me to be anyone other than who I was. And who I was then was a guy who liked a little variety, trying new flavors on a regular basis.
After Fox’s third birthday, things changed. At the end of the party we’d had for him, my date for the evening had shown up. Fox seemed to be overjoyed that I had a woman next to me. And when he asked if she was his momma, I knew I had to be very careful who I brought around him.
That very night, I’d had some wild sex with the woman and then pledged that it would be the last time I did anything like that.
Of course, it didn’t work out exactly that easily. I scored, but never dated. And none of the women I was with ever did much for me. It’s not that I was thinking about Zandra all the time, either, but none of those other women ever hit me in the right place. My heart.
Pulling into the parking lot, I found myself getting excited about seeing Zandra again. “Calm down.”
Rocco met me at the front entrance, unlocking the door and pushing it open. “Good morning, Romeo.”
“It is a good morning,” I agreed as I walked inside. “And help me put the Romeo away, please. I’ve got to admit that I’ve got a damn hard-on just from knowing I’m about to see her.”
A loud laugh came out of him as he shook his head. “Damn, dude!”
Gesturing to the empty dining hall, I asked, “So, can I take a table anywhere?”
“Take that one in the back. It’s the nearest one to the kitchen, and I’ll be able to keep an eye on you better.” He led me to the back of the large room. “How about I make the two of you something delicious for brunch?”
“I think that sounds great.” I took a seat then wondered about having wine so early in the day. What the hell. “And how about a nice bottle of wine?”
Dirty Little Secret: A Secret Baby-Second Chance Romance (Sons of Sin Book 1) Page 12