She sat in her car in a daze. She couldn’t believe she had walked out on Bobby. In her heart, she’d always felt like he was the man for her. Lester’s infidelity had confirmed that. So why was she now so unsure?
“I don’t know,” she mumbled to herself. “Maybe I have to close this chapter with Lester before I can deal with Bobby.” Yes, she thought as she started her car. She needed to get Lester out of her life. Then she could focus on the man she was really meant to be with.
Chapter 35
Rachel watched Nia chase her mother’s dog, Brandy, around the living room of her father’s house. It had been just over a week since she’d put Lester out. He’d left a hundred messages saying he was at his grandmother’s whenever she was ready to talk. Hmmph! As far as she was concerned, she’d never be ready.
She’d come to her father’s house so Lester could go home and get some clothes—she had no desire to see him. She’d left that message for him on his cell phone, but other than that she had made no attempt to talk to him, nor did she have any desire to.
“So, are you just gon’ skip church this morning?” Simon said as he made his way into the living room. He was holding a mug filled to the brim with black coffee.
“Yep, Zion Hill can make it a couple of Sundays without me there. It’s not like they like me anyway,” Rachel replied.
Simon sat down next to her. “I know this is not my daughter I hear sounding dejected.”
Rachel stared at him. They had had their share of battles, and growing up, she didn’t agree with half the things he did, but she had really grown to respect him over these last few years. “Daddy, can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything, baby.”
“Did you ever cheat on Mama?”
Simon smiled. “Why did I know that was coming?”
Rachel shrugged. “You can tell me the truth.”
“Yeah, sure, tell my daughter about my infidelities.” He chuckled.
Rachel’s eyes grew wide. “So you were unfaithful?”
Simon grinned. “No, sweetheart. I never cheated on your mother. I came close one time, but your mother called and told me she was pregnant with David and I took that as a sign. I’m not gon’ lie, there was a lot of temptation.”
“Yeah, like Delilah,” Rachel said, recalling her father’s church secretary, who let it be known how much she wanted Rev. Simon Jackson.
Simon laughed. “No, as much as Delilah threw herself at me, I was never tempted by her. Everyone else may not have thought your mother was all that, but to me she was the most beautiful woman on the planet. But I am still a man, and there were some worldly women who didn’t hesitate to use their worldly goods to try and tempt me to do wrong. I called them the devil’s workers.”
“Well, why didn’t you ever give in to temptation?”
“Honestly, as much as I’d like to say I was trying to honor God, I was really honoring your mother. She gave me everything I ever wanted or needed. I had to ask myself, why go anywhere else when I got everything I need at home.” Simon narrowed his eyes at her. “Did Lester have everything he needed at home? Just something to think about.” He squeezed Rachel’s hand.
Rachel looked at her father in surprise. “How did you know?”
“Now you know that boy called me before he got out the door.”
“I suppose you’re going to take his side, tell me how I should have been a better wife.”
“On the contrary. He’s responsible for his own actions. He’s a grown man. But I do want you to ask yourself—were you a good wife?”
“I think I was.”
Simon looked at her and smiled. “If you think so, then that’s all that matters.” Simon patted her leg as he stood up. “Me myself, I’m feeling good today for a change. Brenda is on her way to take me to church.”
Rachel cut her eyes. She still wasn’t feeling this relationship her father had with Brenda Bailey, but right now, she had bigger things to worry about.
Simon headed to the door. “I’m going to wait on the porch. But Rachel,” he said, turning to her.
“Yes, Daddy?”
“I don’t condone nothing he did, but I know that boy. He is truly sorry. Have you thought about forgiving him?”
Rachel looked at her father like he was crazy. “Yeah, right. Once a dog, always a dog in my book.”
Simon nodded. “I know you’ve never made any mistakes in your life that would need to be forgiven, but it happens.”
Rachel narrowed her eyes. “You’re trying to be funny, huh?”
“I’m just saying everybody needs forgiveness at some time or another. I’m saying pray on it. Think about that. I’m not saying you need to stay with him. But ask God to guide your decision. He won’t steer you wrong.” Simon turned and walked out the door.
Hmphh, Rachel thought. She may not have been as assimilated in the Word as her father and Lester, but she was sure about one thing—no way would God want her with a man who cheated on her.
Chapter 36
Rachel watched her husband in the pulpit. He seemed to be reaching deep in his soul to bring the word of God to the congregation. Too bad he didn’t listen to his own message about being faithful to God’s Word.
Rachel had on her smiling first lady face today. But in actuality, she wanted to claw Lester’s eyes out. He’d chosen something safe to preach about, something about thanking God for the little things. Rachel didn’t really know because her mind was too clouded with hate at the moment. She kept looking at him, imagining him with that woman.
She’d only come to church because her Good Girlz group was being honored at today’s service. Otherwise, she would’ve stayed at home, even though it would have been her third Sunday in a row missing church, and people were sure to start talking. Not that she cared what anyone thought, anyway. She had been getting funny stares from people all throughout service, no doubt wondering where she’d been. It was obvious no one knew she and Lester were having problems because she definitely would’ve heard the gossip by now. That was what Rachel hated most about some so-called Christians: they were the biggest gossipers and rumormongers around.
For a brief moment, Rachel wished she had canceled today’s presentation. She quickly shook that thought off. The Good Girlz program was being honored by the mayor’s office for outstanding community service for all the work they’d been doing with the senior citizens’ centers. The girls were extremely excited; truth be told, she was quite proud herself.
Lester had seemed genuinely excited to see her when she’d walked into the church office this morning. He’d asked her if she was going to give the welcome, which Sister Ida Hicks had been giving in her absence. Rachel responded with a glare and went on into her office without answering him. She knew having Ida welcome the guests with her sitting in the congregation was only fueling the rumor fires; again, she just couldn’t make herself care.
Rachel did manage to put her anger out of her mind when the mayor’s assistant took the podium and presented the award to the girls. Rachel beamed with pride as Camille stepped to the microphone.
“We just want to thank the first lady, and our second mother, Mrs. Rachel Adams, for believing in us, pushing us, bringing us together, and creating this program, which not only helps others, but has helped all of us in turning our lives around,” Camille said.
Tears filled Rachel’s eyes as she walked to the front and hugged the girls. The congregation was on their feet applauding. Rachel couldn’t help but smile, especially because so many people had been against her starting this group. If anyone questioned whether she was making a difference in this church, this should be enough to show them that she was.
After the service, Rachel said good-bye to the Good Girlz—Alexis, Camille, Jasmine, and Angel. She tried to make her exit quickly, but Ida and Birdie Mae and her cohorts were lying in wait.
“Hello, Sister Adams,” Ida said. “What a nice honor.”
Rachel feigned a smile. “Thank you.” Ida had be
en one of the main ones against her starting the Good Girlz.
“We sho’ been missing you in church,” Ida replied.
Rachel stared at the old biddies. Like they really missed her. “Thank you for your concern.” She could tell they were fishing for more.
“Yep, two Sundays in a row. Have you been sick?” Birdie Mae said.
Yeah, sick of y’all hypocrites and your lying pastor, she wanted to say. “No, ma’am. I’m just fine. Well, I have to run. You all have a blessed day.” Rachel walked away before anyone could bombard her with more questions.
She made her way into the office where she spent the next twenty minutes checking her messages, which she hadn’t done all week. Most of the phone calls were from people who were interested in the Good Girlz, including a newspaper reporter who wanted to do an article on them. That brought a smile to Rachel’s face. The girls would love that.
Rachel saw the button on Lester’s phone light up, which meant he was in his office. She quickly gathered her things. She still wasn’t ready to talk to him, her pain and anger were too deep.
She blew out a frustrated breath. Unfortunately, she had to pass by his office to leave. Hopefully, he would be engrossed on the phone and she could sneak by. Of course, just when she tiptoed past him, he looked up and called out to her.
“Rachel, please. Can we talk just for a minute?” He rose.
Rachel stopped and folded her arms. “Fine, let’s hear what lie you have to tell today.” She walked into his office and sat down in a chair in front of his desk. She knew it wasn’t helping anything for her to be so mean, but she just couldn’t seem to get rid of the anger that was filling her heart.
Instead of taking his seat back behind the desk, he sat down next to her. He looked weary, like he’d aged ten years in the last four weeks. “Rachel, I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am.”
“You said that already,” she snapped, rolling her eyes to the ceiling.
Lester sighed. “And I can’t say it enough. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m not saying this to make excuses because I am totally responsible for my actions, but it just felt good to have someone…I don’t know…someone take an interest in me.” He leaned back in the chair. “By no means am I laying blame on you, but when’s the last time you told me I was handsome, or that you were proud of me? When’s the last time you even took my feelings into account? I guess being with Mary just made me feel like a man for a change. I know I wasn’t your first choice for a husband. I know that had Bobby even remotely given you the time of day, I would’ve been history.” He fought back tears. “I’ve never had your heart. I thought I could love you into loving me. But it never happened. You settled when you married me and I feel it every day.”
Rachel felt tears forming as well. She knew she had never been lovey-dovey with Lester, but she did love him. Not on the same level as the love she’d once had for Bobby, but do you ever really recapture your first love?
Lester continued. “Again, please don’t think I’m laying blame at your feet. I just want you to know what drove me to do what I did. I know it was my own weakness that is responsible for the pain you—that we both—are in. And all I’m saying is that if you will give me another chance, if you will allow me back into that little corner of your heart that you had given me, I promise I’ll never let you down again.”
Rachel stared him. She could see the sincerity all over his face. “Are you still seeing her?” she asked softly.
“No. I stopped seeing her before she came to the church that day.”
Rachel was conflicted. Why wasn’t she cursing him out? Why wasn’t she going off on him?
“I’m asking, no, I’m begging you for another chance,” Lester pleaded.
Rachel took a deep breath. She was so confused. She shouldn’t even be talking to him.
“Please, Rachel. I will devote my life to making this up to you. We can go to counseling, anything. Just don’t throw us away.”
Rachel looked away. She didn’t want him to see the tears that had started trickling down her cheeks. “Lester, I can’t make you any promises. But I’m open to counseling.”
Lester’s eyes lit up. “Oh, baby, thank you. I’ll call Reverend Cassidy at New Pilgrim. He’s a counselor—”
“Unh-unh.” Rachel cut him off. “If I do this, I want to go to a professional. I don’t need any of your preacher friends telling me how God intended for us to stick together for better or for worse. I’m not in that place right now. Right now, I want to deal with getting to the root of our problems. I’ll keep praying but right now, we need professional counseling.”
“That’s fine, baby. Whatever you want. I’ll find a professional tomorrow.” Lester reached over and squeezed her hand. “You won’t regret this.”
Rachel’s gaze met her husband’s. She still couldn’t believe she was even allowing him into her space. What had gotten into her to even consider giving him another chance? “I hope not, because…” Her voice trailed off as she glanced over her shoulder and toward the door of Lester’s office. Mary stood there with a surprised look on her face, like she definitely wasn’t expecting to see Rachel there. Rachel slowly stood as her chest began to heave up and down.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Mary said. “I’ll come back later.” She quickly turned to leave.
“No, wait,” Rachel called out. Mary stopped and turned around. Rachel glared at her husband; any sympathy she’d felt for him was gone now. She turned her attention back toward the woman. “You have a lot of nerve showing your face around here.”
“You didn’t tell me she’d be here,” Mary hissed to Lester.
“What?” Rachel was about to lose it for sure now. “What is she talking about, Lester? You knew she was coming?”
“He invited me.” Mary seemed to have gained some new-found confidence.
Oh, it was about to be on for real! “You invited her? You sit here and feed me all this bull about making our marriage work and your mistress was headed here?”
Lester stood, vigorously shaking his head. “It’s not what it looks like, Rachel. I did ask her here, but to plead with her to leave me alone.”
Mary laughed. “You can believe that if you want to.”
Rachel took two steps toward the woman. Lester grabbed her arm. “Rachel, please.”
Rachel snatched her arm away. “Don’t put your hands on me. Ever again.”
“I told you she was not the type of woman you needed, Lester.” Mary turned toward Rachel. “You have a king, sweetheart, and you don’t even know it. Most black women don’t. He told me how you barely make love to him, how selfish you are. Didn’t your mother ever tell you what you won’t do for your man, someone else will?”
That was it. Rachel lunged toward the woman and snatched her by the hair. Mary screamed as Rachel flung her to the ground. She tried to stand up, her hair sticking up wildly all over her head. “This is what you want, Lester? Some low-class, fighting woman?” she cried, rubbing her bruised head.
“I told you I loved my wife, Mary.” Lester looked like he couldn’t believe this was happening.
Mary tossed her hair back. “If you loved her so much, then what were you doing with me?”
“Yeah, Lester!” Rachel said. “If you love me so much, what were you doing with her?”
Lester buried his head in his hands. “I made a terrible mistake.”
“You got that right!” She snarled at Mary, “Look, you home-wrecking adulterer, you can have him. He’s all yours. May you both rot in hell.”
She couldn’t believe she’d almost given Lester another chance. This was God’s way of stopping her, that much she was sure about.
Rachel slipped her pump back on her foot and strutted off with her head held high.
Chapter 37
Rachel couldn’t help but smile as she watched her brother cradle D.J. in his arms. The tiny baby was finally having a rare content moment. His jitteriness had stopped and he was hungril
y sucking a bottle. David stared at him as if he’d never known such joy. Rachel enjoyed being around D.J., too. When she was focused on him, she didn’t have to think about Lester or her marriage. It had been a week since that fiasco at the church and Lester knew what was good for him because he hadn’t been beating down her door begging for another chance.
“You’re really taking to this fatherhood thing, huh?” Rachel wiggled D.J.’s toes.
“Yeah,” David replied, never taking his eyes off the baby. “I finally feel like my life has purpose. I swear I’m going to give my little boy the best of everything.”
Rachel loved seeing the love in her brother’s eyes. He hadn’t seemed so happy in years. D.J. was doing remarkably better, and Rachel had no doubt that was because of her brother’s unconditional love.
David finally broke out of the trance he seemed to be in as he watched his son. He rose from the chair. “Rachel, I’m going to go lay D.J. down, then I need to talk to you about something.”
“Of course. I’ll be right here,” Rachel said. She picked up an Ebony magazine, leaned back, and started flipping through the pages while she waited on David.
Five minutes later he was back downstairs and sitting beside her on the sofa. “I need your help, Rachel.”
Rachel looked at her brother suspiciously. “David, I don’t have any money.”
David stopped her before she could go off on a tirade. “Sis, this isn’t about money. I need your help in order to keep my son.”
Now that Rachel could do. “You know I’ll help with that. Just tell me what you need.”
David rubbed his head like he was really stressed out. That peaceful look he’d had just a few minutes ago was gone. “Tawny is demanding money in exchange for D.J.”
“What? That’s crazy.” Rachel sat up.
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