“Oh, my Joanna Sky,” her mother whispered, reaching out a bony hand to her. She gently stroked Joanna’s head, and she closed her eyes, shuffling her wings. “You’re so beautiful.”
God, she wanted to hug her mother. She wanted to put her arms around her and tell her how much she missed this, missed the times when she provided love and comfort instead of judgment and censure.
And proving again that her thoughts could direct her state, suddenly she was human again. Her mother jumped in surprise. When she’d recovered, she quickly handed Joanna her clothes. Once she was dressed again, her mother gathered her into her arms.
“When did this start happening?” she asked after a long silence.
“Last night was the first time,” Joanna replied. She kept her face buried in her mother’s hair, so she wouldn’t have to look her in the eye.
“Last night? Why didn’t you come home earlier?”
She thought about it for a moment. She could tell her that she didn’t know how to shift back, or that by the time she figured it out, she was too tired to come back right away. And none of that would be a lie. But today was a day for being brave, so she opted for the subjective truth, as Sherman might say.
“I didn’t want to face you,” she admitted in a whisper. “I thought you would be angry with me. I thought you would judge me for what I’d become. That it would be just another thing that wasn’t good enough.”
When Joanna finally got the courage to look up, her mother looked horrified. “Oh, my Joanna Sky. I’m so sorry.” She took a deep, shaky breath. “I never wanted you to feel like you weren’t good enough. I just wanted what was best for you.” She drew a shaky breath, blinking rapidly, and Joanna was shocked to realize that her mother was actually close to tears. In all her life, she couldn’t remember a single time she’d seen her mother cry.
Joanna also blinked, surprised to find herself nearing tears, too. “I’m going to be twenty-five next month,” she said gently. “You have to let me figure out for myself what’s best for me. You have to trust me.”
Her mother nodded. “I do. I trust you. I just…” She sighed. “I have a hard time giving up control.” She looked off into the distance, her gazing going soft, unfocused. “I think that’s why your father left. He wanted more freedom. He wanted to live his own life, make his own rules, not live by mine.”
Joanna frowned. “So he left us because of you?”
Her mother winced. “I guess he did, yes. He told me on your sixteenth birthday that he wanted a divorce.” Her mother looked back at her, and her eyes were soft, pleading. “But Joanna, I had no idea he would disappear without a word. That he would abandon you girls. I never wanted that.”
“So you really don’t know where he is?” Joanna had always wondered if her mother knew what had become of her father, but she’d been too intimidated to ask. Anytime she even mentioned her father, her mother had forcefully changed the subject.
Her mother shook her head in answer. “Please believe me, I never wanted to take your father from you. If I knew where he was, I’d tell you. I know how much you loved him. That you loved him more than you love me.”
Joanna closed her eyes. “I love you, Mama. I always have. I’m sorry if I never said it. If I never showed it.”
Her mother pulled her close again. “No,” she said firmly. “It’s my fault. I’m not easy to love.”
Joanna laughed. “I’m probably not, either. I’m too much like you.”
“Not even by the bear-man?” Her mother’s tone was hesitant. “I saw the way you looked at each other the other night.”
Joanna’s brow furrowed. Love might be taking it a bit far. Intense attraction, definitely. And a growing mutual respect. But love? Maybe one day, but not yet.
But more importantly, was her mother actually saying she’d be okay with a bear-man being in her daughter’s life? “I thought you wanted me to stay away from him?”
Her mother took a deep breath, like she was trying to steel herself. “I worry about the bear,” she began.
“But he’s in control of everything he does as the bear,” Joanna said, jumping in before her mother could continue. “I know that now. We’re still ourselves, just in an animal’s body.”
Her mother’s eyes softened. “I know. But it’s hard for me to accept that a bear can be harmless. Joanna, I was raised to believe that the woods were dangerous. That you can’t trust anything in there.”
“But you let Dad take me out into the woods all the time.”
“And I fought him about it all the time.” Her mother sighed. “Look, we could spend all day here rehashing the past. But I think your future is more important right now. I can do my best to be gracious to the bear-man-”
“Sherman,” Joanna muttered.
Her mother nodded. “Sherman,” she grumbled, as though it pained her to say it. “I can accept him. If that’s what you want.”
Joanna looked at her mother for a long moment. She didn’t exactly look happy at the idea of her daughter being with someone like Sherman. But she seemed sincere in her promise to let Joanna direct her own future.
The question was, would her future include Sherman? Would he want that? There was all kinds of heat between them. But that seemed to be almost in spite of his intentions. She knew what she wanted, but was she brave enough to fight for it?
She stood, then helped her mother to her feet, too. She might not know what Sherman’s wishes were. But there was only one way to find out.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Joanna chewed on her inner lip as she waited for Sherman. She’d texted him over an hour ago, giving him the coordinates to her dad’s cabin. He’d texted back a moment later saying he’d be there, but she hadn’t heard anything since.
She’d decided to fly, figuring it would get her there faster than the alternative, a combination of driving and hiking. She made sure to bring clothes with her this time. She’d rolled them up and tied them together with a shoelace, to make it easier to carry in her talons. She felt pretty proud of that little innovation. Less than twenty-four hours as a shifter, and she already felt like she was ahead of the curve.
The cabin was small, with a single room encompassing living room, bedroom, and kitchenette, and a separate bathroom with a narrow shower stall. Joanna and her father used to bunk here on summer weekends when she was a girl. The younger girls had never been interested in any of the outdoor activities that Joanna and her father enjoyed, so it had become a special spot for the two of them. After he’d left, she’d continued to use it as a sort of home base when she came up the mountain. She’d always thought that she’d live up here one day, if she could ever convince her mother to let her move out. Now it seemed like more of a possibility than ever before, given her mother’s willingness to let Joanna make her own way.
She heard a snuffling sound outside, followed by heavy footfalls, and she froze. She’d cranked the generator when she’d gotten here earlier, so there was soft yellow light spilling out onto the porch. A peek out the window revealed a familiar figure approaching - a black bear with honey-colored eyes. He had a reusable shopping bag dangling from his mouth, and she smiled when she realized he must have brought his clothes with him, too.
She pulled her gaze from the window, giving him a chance to shift and get dressed. She didn’t need to be distracted by his naked body right now. For once, they needed to have an open, honest conversation about what they both wanted, and she wouldn’t be able to do that if she was thinking about sex.
She cast her eye about the room one more time, making sure everything was tidy and clean. She wanted the cabin to make a good impression on Sherman. If she had her way, they would be spending a lot of time here together in the future.
After a moment, she heard a knock. She took several deep, steadying breaths as she crossed to the door, then pulled it open.
She flashed him a smile, and he returned it, though he looked a little nervous. She silently ushered him in, shutting the door firmly b
ehind him. Then she turned to look at him.
His gaze roamed the little cabin, taking in the worn furniture, the old quilt adorning the double bed, the avocado appliances that were nearly sixty years old.
“This is nice,” he said. “Cozy.” He sounded nervous, but his smile was genuine.
“Thanks.” She smiled in return. “It was my dad’s. Still is, I guess. Wherever he is.”
He frowned. “You don’t know where your dad is?”
She shook her head. “He took off when I was sixteen. Haven’t seen him since.”
He rubbed a hand over his hair, and she longed to follow suit. She wondered what it would feel like between her fingers. “I wonder if that’s where it came from. You know, you being a shifter.”
She frowned as she thought about it. She had inherited her dad’s eyes, the only one of her sisters who had. Had she also inherited the ability to shift? But surely her mother would have known if her husband was a shifter, wouldn’t she?
“Is it always hereditary?” she asked.
He shrugged. “No one knows for sure. My mother said no one in her family was a shifter, and she didn’t think my father’s side had any, either. But Matt says his dad and uncles were all shifters. His dad was actually a wolf,” he added. “So maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t.”
She bit her lip, and he stepped closer, his eyes darting to her mouth. She gave herself a mental head shake. This was what she’d come here to talk about, this whatever-it-was between her and Sherman. There’d be time in the future to think to look for answers about her dad.
She took a deep breath before speaking again. “Sherman, I asked you to come here because I wanted to talk to you about… well, about us.”
He frowned. “Look, I know I said I couldn’t get into anything with you,” he began.
She closed her eyes. If he was about to brush her off again, she didn’t want to look at him. She didn’t want to see the expression on his face, the pity in his eyes, as he let her down gently.
But then she felt his hands cup her face, and her eyes snapped open.
“I’ve changed my mind,” he rumbled. “I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you, Joanna. I don’t want to deny this any longer.”
She opened her mouth to tell him that she didn’t want to deny it, either, but her words were cut off by his lips. The kiss was hungry, desperate, like he was making up for lost time. Nearly two weeks of lost time, she thought.
His hands skimmed down her sides to her waist, then around to her ass. He squeezed her cheeks roughly, and she moaned against his mouth. He placed his hands under her ass and lifted, and she wrapped her legs around him, bringing his hard cock in contact with her center. She ground against him for a moment, and he made a rumbling noise deep in his throat, not unlike a growl. He bit her lip, and she did it again, feeling the slick slide of her clit against his zipper through her thin yoga pants. She was beyond ready for him to be inside her.
He walked them over to the bed, breaking the kiss and dropping her onto the bed. She leaned up on her elbows as he stepped back, pulling his shirt over his head. She bit her lip as she took in the sight of his barrel chest. She loved that he wasn’t a gym rat. His body was thick and powerful, but from hard work, not weightlifting. The rest of his clothes followed swiftly after that, and she inhaled sharply when she finally got a look at his long, thick cock. God, he was perfect.
He bent, digging around in his wallet for a condom, which he laid on the bedside table. Then he climbed onto the bed with her, laying next to her.
“You’re wearing too many clothes,” he rumbled, nipping at her lower lip.
She sat up, pulling her shirt off, then lifting her hips to shimmy out of her pants. She saw his nostrils flare when he realized she wasn’t wearing any underwear, and she smiled wickedly.
His hands roamed her body, kneading her hips, brushing across her nipples, teasing the sensitive flesh of her inner thighs. He leaned in to kiss her, tangling his tongue with hers.
Without breaking the kiss, she reached over him to grab the condom. She tore it open, and he grunted into her mouth as she rolled it down his length. He leaned over her, but she pushed him back.
He pulled away, raising his eyebrows in confusion.
She smiled up at him. “I want to be on top.”
He grinned, laying back on the bed. “Be my guest,” he said.
So she climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. She lifted herself onto her knees, grabbing his shaft and positioning him where she wanted him. Then she slowly sank down.
They moaned in unison as he slid inside her, inch by torturous inch. When she’d taken him as deep as she could, she stilled, savoring the feeling of fullness. Then she slowly began to roll her hips.
He reached his hands up to cup her small breasts, and she threw her head back, moaning wantonly at the feeling of his rough hands on her sensitive flesh. She thought she could stay like this forever, with Sherman deep inside her. She always wanted to feel as alive, as free as she felt right now.
She moved faster, feeling her orgasm building, fierce and inevitable. He snapped his hips up to meet hers, and she could tell he was close, too. She dropped her shoulders, draping herself across his chest. Their mouths met, their tongues dueling urgently.
“Let go,” she whispered, when she broke the kiss. “Give it to me.”
He groaned, long and loud, as his hips stilled underneath her. The hot pulsing of his cock deep inside her sent her tumbling over the edge. Her back arched and her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she cried out his name over and over as she rode the waves of her climax.
When she finally stopped twitching, she rolled off him, flopping back onto the bed. He leaned over and kissed her, and she got lost in him again.
Eventually, he broke the kiss, climbing off the bed to dispose of the condom in the tiny bathroom. When he returned, he slid back in next to her, pulling her close to him.
“I’m glad you changed your mind,” she teased, circling a fingertip around his belly button.
He chuckled. “Me too.”
She looked down at her hand, loving the way his darker skin contrasted with her own lighter, reddish brown skin. “You never told me what was holding you back before.”
He cleared his throat, and she looked up to see that his expression was sheepish. “Seems kind of stupid now.”
“Tell me?” She planted a soft kiss on his jaw. “Please?”
He rubbed her hip. “Well, after all the stuff that happened with my dad, and some of the things I’d seen happen to other shifters, I promised myself that I’d only ever fall in love with another shifter.”
She frowned. “So, the only reason you’re here now is because I’m a shifter?”
He shook his head, squeezing her hip. “No, Joanna. I’m here because of you. I’d already decided this morning when I woke up that I was going to break my promise. I was up half the night, kicking myself for being such an idiot. I realized I didn’t want to let you get away long before you landed on that boat.”
She chuckled. “I guess that was a pretty dramatic entrance, huh?”
He laughed. “Yeah. But it’s a great story.” He smiled at her softly. “We can tell our grandkids about it one day.”
She raised an eyebrow. “That’s getting ahead of ourselves a bit, don’t you think?”
He shook his head, leaning in to kiss her again. “I told you already, I don’t want to let you get away. So I won’t.”
She laughed. “That’s crazy.”
He grinned. “It’s only crazy because it doesn’t feel crazy,” he said, echoing her words from their first meeting. “It’s crazy because it feels right.”
She looked up at him. “Yeah it does.”
So they lay there together, talking and kissing and scheming for the future. Eventually they fell asleep, wrapped in each other’s arms, content in the knowledge that it would be that way from now on.
THE END
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Leeward Bear (BBW Shifter Romance) (Fisherbears Book 3) Page 5