She sighed. “I can’t,” Samantha replied. There was a knot forming in her throat. “I can’t. I can’t try again. I can’t go through that.” She looked deeply into Rust’s eyes. “I’m so scared it was my fault,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’m so afraid that something happened because the universe knew I wouldn’t be a good mother. Everything…everything was normal until I was almost ready to give birth,” she said softly. “And then one day, I had a lot of pain and I collapsed. When I went to the hospital, there wasn’t a heartbeat.”
Rust slipped his hand under the table and took Samantha’s. His skin was reassuringly warm and dry and calloused. Samantha shivered as his strong, warm fingers stroked her cold hand.
“We’re united right now because we’re both in the same kind of pain,” Rust said softly. He gazed into Samantha’s eyes and she shivered. “But if we do this, there will be more bringing us together. Love, strength, we’ll have all of that. It’s not gonna be this world of pain, not forever.”
Samantha bit her lip. She couldn’t bring herself to speak.
“I never knew I wanted to be a father until I found out about what happened,” Rust went on. “And then as soon as I was told, I knew instantly that I couldn’t go on without trying again. I’m so scared of getting too old with no one to love and no one to look out for. I want a real family, Samantha.”
Tears splashed over Samantha’s lids and dripped down her face. She knew, suddenly, that maybe her life story wasn’t over. Maybe there could still be good things in the world. Maybe, maybe. Maybe, somehow, everything would be okay.
“I wanna try,” she said softly, her voice shaking with emotion. Rust reached over and wiped her cheek with his free hand, gently brushing the tears away. He pulled her into his arms as she sobbed, stroking her black hair and soothing away all of the pain, all of the hurt.
“Me, too,” Rust whispered into Samantha’s ear. “Me, too.”
Chapter Four
Six months later
Samantha fidgeted nervously in her seat. The hem of her dress kept catching on the edge of the plastic and finally she reached down and tugged the hem over her knees, shifting forward.
Rust reached out and patted her hand. “It’s gonna be okay,” he said in the reassuring voice Samantha had come to trust and love. “I’m here with you, baby. We got this.”
Samantha closed her eyes and squeezed Rust’s fingers with her own. “I hope so,” she said under her breath, almost more of a prayer than a reply. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Rust said. He squeezed her hand in return and Samantha felt a warm, encouraging thrill shoot through her body.
“Samantha Cardiff?”
Samantha’s head shot up. “Yes?” She practically leapt out of the chair. “That’s me.”
The ultrasound technician smiled. “You can come on back now,” she said. “Would you like your partner to come?”
Samantha nodded nervously, squeezing Rust’s hand and practically dragging his large frame across the doctor’s office. As the technician helped her up onto the bed and pulled up her shirt, Samantha winced.
“That stuff is cold,” she whined.
“Just relax,” the ultrasound tech replied. Her nametag read ‘Lisa.’ “You’re going to feel just a little bit of pressure here,” she said softly. “How are you feeling?”
“Nervous,” Samantha admitted. She looked to Rust for encouragement. He was standing next to the raised bed with his hand resting on Samantha’s head. “My first baby….I had a stillbirth.”
Lisa nodded. “Dr. Ankeny told me all about it,” she said smoothly. Reaching down to flick a switch, she pointed up at the large screen mounted on the wall. “Now, here’s your baby,” she said. “Here’s the head, right here, and here’s the body.” She glanced at the screen. “You’re about four-and-a-half months along, is that right?”
Samantha and Rust nodded together. “We’re excited,” Rust said. He squeezed her shoulder and Samantha felt a burst of happiness and pride. Tears welled up in her eyes as she watched their baby move on the screen. Inside, she felt a fluttering sensation in her womb.
“Would you like to know the sex?”
Samantha and Rust glanced at each other. Samantha nodded. “Would you?”
Rust nodded. “I would,” he said. He rubbed Samantha’s shoulders. “I’d love to know.”
Lisa grinned. “You’re going to be the lucky parents of a healthy baby girl,” she said. “Would you like a moment alone?”
“Please,” Rust said. He stood protectively by Samantha, rubbing her back until the technician had left the room.
“Rust,” Samantha said in a soft voice. “I can’t believe it. We’re having a girl!” Happy tears welled up in her eyes and dripped down her cheek. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy.”
Rust grinned. “I’m taking both of my best girls out for a fancy night on the town,” he said, reaching down and rubbing Samantha’s stomach. She was just beginning to show, after having a relatively easy first trimester. “I’m so proud of you,” Rust whispered as he leaned down and placed a gentle, chaste kiss on Samantha’s lips. “I never thought I’d be this happy.”
“Me neither,” Samantha said honestly. She began to wipe the gel off of her stomach and pull her shirt down, hopping off the table. The last image of their soon-to-be baby girl was still on the screen and Samantha stared happily. A tear ran down her cheek and she reached up to wipe it away.
“Come on,” Rust said. He gently patted Samantha’s ass, making her jump. “We gotta get going if we want to make that reservation.” He raised his eyebrows.
“You already planned this?” Samantha stared. “How did you know today would go so well?”
Rust shrugged. “I trusted that it was going to work out,” he said smoothly. “Now come on. I bet you’re starving.”
Dinner was magnificent. Heavenly. Samantha ate so much food that she didn’t even miss not having the usual wine with her Italian dishes. The pasta tasted richer and more delicious than ever before, and she closed her eyes, savoring the final bite.
Rust, all cleaned up in a button down shirt and a nice pair of trousers, had never looked so handsome. Samantha stared into his eyes across the candlelit table, watching the shadows play on his sculpted, rugged face.
“I don’t know how I got so lucky,” Samantha said softly. “I don’t feel like I deserve this.”
Rust raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. “You’re an amazing woman,” he said in a low, husky voice that sent a shiver of desire through Samantha’s body. “I believe it. You deserve every moment of this night, I promise you.”
Samantha shivered. “Let’s go home,” she whispered, unable to tear her eyes away from Rust’s strong jaw. “I want to be alone with you.”
In the car, she could barely keep her hands off her hunky boyfriend. As Rust drove, Samantha scooted close and slipped her hand between his legs, caressing his muscular thighs with her fingers. Rust groaned – she could feel that he was hard – and she felt her own skin get heated and flushed with desire. But as soon as they stepped into their apartment, Rust stepped away.
Samantha pouted. “What’s wrong?”
Rust grinned. “Nothing,” he said. “I just have a surprise for you, that’s all.”
Samantha frowned. “And it can’t be in the bedroom?”
Rust dropped down to one knee, making her gasp. He still wore a cocky smile and as he held out a small velvet box, Samantha covered her face in her hands and let out a small sound of excitement.
“Samantha, mother of my child, I can’t live without you.” Rust’s voice was deep and sincere – just listening to it made Samantha want to wrap her arms around him and cling tightly. “I need to be with you. You’re my soul mate, and I love you. Will you marry me?”
Samantha threw herself into his arms, getting down on her knees and pulling him on top of her. They kissed passionately – by now, Samantha was used to the rough, clumsy-but
-trying-to-be-gentle manner of Rust’s kisses. As his tongue slipped between her lips, she shivered and pressed her body against him. The pregnancy hormones and increased blood flow were making her crazy for Rust and she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close.
“I guess that’s a yes, huh?” Rust teased, gently breaking the kiss. Samantha nodded, her face flushed with love and desire. “Don’t you want your ring?”
Samantha swallowed. “Yes,” she said softly. “Yes, Rust, I want to marry you.” She gasped as Rust slid a beautiful, sparkly ring onto her hand. It was a pear-shaped diamond on a plain band of yellow gold and Samantha didn’t think she’d ever seen anything so beautiful in her life.
“Good,” Rust said huskily. He pulled her close and kissed her. “Because now I want to finish what you started in the car.” He scooped Samantha up into his arms with ease and carried her into the bedroom, gently setting her down on the mattress. At once, the two of them were wrapped around each other, kissing passionately. Samantha groaned as Rust slipped his hands under her shirt and tugged it over her head. With a shy smile, she reached behind her back and unclasped the bra. Rust ran his hands over her breasts, marveling at the way her body looked.
“You’re so beautiful,” Rust murmured, lowering his head and kissing the sensitive skin. “You were gorgeous before, but you’re a goddess right now,” he added in a sensual, husky voice before kissing Samantha’s stiff, swollen nipples. She let out a hoarse cry of pleasure as Rust’s hot tongue lapped at her sensitive skin, sending hot flashes of a delicious feeling through her body. Rust gently pinched and squeezed her other nipple, rolling it in his fingers as he lavished attention on her breasts with his mouth. Samantha groaned with pleasure, arching her back and throwing her long, black hair back over her shoulders.
Rust gently pushed Samantha down on the bed and fumbled with the hidden side zipper for her skirt. Tugging it down her legs, he stared at her body in wonder.
Samantha giggled nervously. “I feel so fat,” she complained. “My belly already looks huge.”
Rust trailed down her body, kissing her skin and inhaling the musky scent of her pussy. “You’re a goddess,” he repeated, nuzzling at the cotton band of her panties. “And I can’t wait to make you mine.” A chill of pleasure coursed through Samantha’s body as Rust’s fingers slipped into her panties and began to rub at her swollen, delicate flesh. She was already soaked as she moaned as he slipped a finger inside the entrance to her most secret place, grinding her hips against his hand.
Eagerly, Samantha strained towards Rust and licked her lips before pressing them against his. The kiss was passionate and deep and Samantha moaned, closing her eyes and caressing his tongue with her own. As Rust’s fingers wandered and played inside of her panties, she spread her legs as wide as she could. Rust’s thumb found her engorged clit and began to rub slow, delicate circles around the hard nub of arousal. Samantha moaned loudly as her arousal grew. Intense feelings of pleasure swarmed her body and she began to feel her muscles tightening up, almost like a cramp.
Samantha reached for Rust’s shirt, hastily pulling the buttons apart and tugging the sleeves down his arms. As always, she was stunned at how sexy her fiancé was: perfectly sculpted with lots of brown hair padding his skin. She loved the way Rust’s chest felt against hers when they were making love – the hair tickled her skin, making her feel aroused in ways that she had never known existed before Rust. Even though summer was months away, he still had a deep golden cast to his white skin and Samantha ran a hand down his abdominal muscles, just admiring the way he looked.
Rust took his hands away from Samantha’s pussy, making her cry with frustration as he unbuckled his belt and kicked his pants to the side. He was rock hard – Samantha could tell his giant erection was straining the front of his boxers – and he yanked his underwear down, climbing on the bed completely naked. Samantha shivered as his cock pressed against her thigh, making her all too aware of the incredible sensation that was soon to be overwhelming her body.
“Touch me,” Rust growled in a hoarse voice. He took Samantha’s soft hand and wrapped it around the shaft of his cock, grinding against her hand and groaning loudly as her fingers pleasured him. He reached for Samantha’s panties, ripping them off her slender hips and throwing them to the side. Samantha watched as Rust closed his eyes and lowered his head to her crotch, inhaling the scent of her musk. “You’re like a drug to me,” Rust murmured as he slipped a finger inside her pussy and stroked her. “You turn me on so much.”
Samantha blushed hotly. She tangled her fingers in Rust’s brown hair and pulled him down on top of her, until his pelvis was between her legs. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she shoved her body close to Rust’s cock. As he entered her, she gasped with pleasure.
For a moment, they stayed locked together, staring into each other’s eyes. Finally, after what felt like eternity, Rust began to thrust his hips against Samantha’s, pumping his hard cock in and out of her body. She moaned as he pressed against her skin. She felt like inside her body, a fireworks show was taking place. Closing her eyes, she surrendered herself to the amazing feeling of Rust moving against her.
“God, Rust,” Samantha moaned. She gripped his waist tightly with her legs and ground her pelvis against his abdominal muscles. With each thrust, Rust’s body slammed against her clit, sending tiny explosions of amazing sensations through her body. A fine layer of sweat broke out over her skin and she threw her head back and cried out with pleasure. Rust began moving faster and faster and she could feel his muscles tensing and straining with the effort of their love. As sweat dripped down onto her from Rust’s body, Samantha stared deeply into his eyes. She felt completely naked and exposed, but empowered. The feeling of love and strength that Rust gave her was incredible, and she loved him for baring his soul to her.
Rust leaned down and kissed her passionately, groaning into her mouth. He slid his hands down Samantha’s body, caressing her breasts and belly, stroking her gently until she thought she was going to die of pleasure. Finally, the feelings inside her body swelled to a climax and she eagerly rubbed her clit against Rust’s body, desperate for the pending orgasm to wash over her like a tidal wave.
Rust’s cock began to pulse and twitch inside of Samantha and he groaned, digging his fingers into the flesh of her hips and thrusting hard. She closed her eyes and let out a soft wail of delight, rolling her head back as the sensations exploded in her body, over and over, until she was gasping for air.
Rust rolled onto his back and immediately pulled Samantha close. She buried her face in the crook of his arm, loving the way he smelled. Their bodies were damp and sated and Samantha could feel herself shaking gently.
“That was incredible,” Rust murmured. He stroked Samantha’s hair, leaning over to kiss her. “Are you okay?”
“I’m better than okay,” Samantha said softly. She rolled onto her belly, propping herself up on her elbows. “I know that you and I will make it through anything.”
Rust opened his eyes and gazed into Samantha’s face. “Are you scared?”
She bit her lip. “Only a little,” she said honestly. “I know that something might go wrong. But with you by my side, everything’s going to be okay in the end.”
Rust pulled her close and kissed her lips. “I love you so much,” he murmured. “And I’m never going to let you go, or let anything bad happen to you.”
Samantha relaxed, feeling warm, happy, and safe. “I know,” she said softly. “For once, I finally believe that everything’s going to work out the way it should.”
“Good,” Rust said. He squeezed her close. “You’ll be a great mom, you know.”
Samantha swallowed hard. “Thank you,” she said. “Thank you so much, for everything. I always want you to know how much I appreciate that.”
Rust grinned. “I do,” he said. “And you have the rest of your life to keep showing me.” He touched her belly. “We’re going to have the best family in the world.”
<
br /> Samantha smiled. “We already do,” she said softly. “We already do.”
Breakwater: Leo
Star Bears I
by
Becca Fanning
As a little girl, Annie had pictured how her dream wedding would go. She’d wear a white dress and walk down the aisle, looking out over a sea of smiling faces as she approached the altar. Her groom she had pictured less as a specific person and more as an amalgamation of traits she wanted: kind eyes, a warm smile, broad shoulders… things she associated with a gentle, good-hearted man. Her mother would be alive, and her father would be sober.
She had always known this little fantasy of hers had been a mess of impossibilities. She just hadn’t pictured it going this awry.
Running a hand over the bodice of her dress, Annie stared at herself in the mirror. Her reflection looked morosely back out at her. One pale, manicured hand ran over the bodice of her gown, fingers tracing over the thousands of crystals dotting the fabric like stars. Annie had never been this close to a diamond before. She’d certainly never thought she’d be wearing this many of them. Her auburn hair was piled on top of her head in an elaborate series of braids and curls and there was shimmering powder swiped across the lids of her grey eyes, making them seem bigger and brighter.
Leeward Bear (BBW Shifter Romance) (Fisherbears Book 3) Page 42