It made sense. It even made her feel a little better.
“Thank you,” Stacey replied, “Mrs.…?”
“Call me Anina,” the old lady answered.
Stacey gave her own name, and a comfortable, contemplative silence fell between them. They both looked out into the mountains, and Stacey was about to make one of those stock-comments about the weather, but Anina cut in with a whole new conversation. All credit to her, she was not shy.
“I keep telling my boy about courage,” she revealed. “One of my grandsons has a… well…” She dropped her voice to a hoarse whisper for a moment. “A gambling problem.”
“Oh?” Stacey remarked.
“He thinks we don’t know, but we do,” Anina added. “It’s a terrible shame. All he needs to do is stop.”
“Sometimes, it isn’t that simple,” Stacey replied. “From what I know, gamblers get into this cycle where they have to win. The house takes their money away and it makes them feel small. They have to keep going back, keep trying to beat the system, and they can’t see that it doesn’t work that way. The greater victory would be to get out and never go back.”
“You sound like you know what you’re talking about, honey,” Anina said, her expression one of fascination.
Stacey gave a little nod, but no explanation. In her work with Jack, a great deal of the marks she’d led on before were gamblers. It was a dangerously easy way to get into huge debt real quick. She’d seen the hard-nosed types who assured her that they’d win big next time, and the nervous wrecks that had burst into tears once they realized who she was, and what she knew about them.
“I guess I have a little experience,” Stacey offered.
“Couldn’t talk to my grandson for me, could you?” Anina said.
Stacey grinned a little. She couldn’t be sure if the old lady was joking or not. When Anina hung her head, her glasses slipping again, Stacey realized that the question was genuine.
“It’s just that Kurt’s got a lot to lose,” Anina continued, “what with being a park ranger and all…”
* * *
Despite his best efforts, Jack had not discovered what Kurt was in LA for on Saturday, but Stacey was now pretty sure that she knew. She’d not divulged to Anina that she and Kurt had already gone on an accidental date together, and she hadn’t told Jack that she’d found out how Kurt had managed to rack up seven grand’s worth of debt. Keeping secrets from Jack didn’t make Stacey feel as guilty as it ought to have, and she put that down to being very well-practiced at it. The thing that did bother her was Kurt. She wanted to tell him something at least. Keeping so much from the guy didn’t feel right.
He’d messaged her with details of their date on Sunday morning, just as he’d promised. Stacey found herself walking up a fairly steep mountain trail, which promised a spectacular view of Fairhaven on the other side. She was regretting her shoe choice by the time she reached the top, but the view was certainly worth it. On the other side of the path, there was a deep bowl of scrub land about twenty feet in diameter. It looked like if you dropped down into that bowl, you’d never make it back out. Stacey scanned the shrubbery and the few trees down there, her body tensing as she made out a shape in the distance.
There was a grizzly bear among the bushes. He was about half-way up the slope of the dirt bowl, his long claws dug into the earth firmly. The bear had massive shoulders covered with tawny brown fur, and strong paws that thumped the ground whenever he moved. Stacey let loose a small gasp in her wonder, and the bear turned its head. To her surprise, it had those golden eyes that she recognized. What Jack had warned her about came racing back into her head. Amid everything else, she’d forgotten that Kurt was also a shifter.
Upon seeing her, the bear ran up one side of the dirt bowl with tremendous power, off to the left away from her. It disappeared into the trees at the top of this part of the path, and Stacey watched them with interest. It was totally possible that this particular bear wasn’t Kurt at all, for he’d said he had brothers and cousins. Yet, some five minutes later, when Kurt emerged on the path from that same direction, Stacey knew it had to be him. His clothes were disheveled for one thing, like he’d only just put them on to rush over and meet her.
“You’re early,” he panted as he jogged up to meet her. “Sorry. I was out for a walk.”
“In your bear suit?” Stacey challenged, folding her arms.
Kurt cocked his head, grinning at her quizzically. There were too many secrets between them already, and Stacey couldn’t stand to add to the pile.
“I saw your eyes, Kurt,” she revealed. “I know you can transform. That was you down there, right?”
“Geez,” Kurt said, rubbing the back of his neck, “you ladies are really up on your shifter knowledge nowadays.”
“Oh, I’m not,” Stacey added, palms up in her admission, “I don’t pretend to actually know any.”
Kurt stepped forward, putting his palms against her own. He let his fingers gently interlock with hers.
“Well, now you do,” he crooned.
She leaned forward and planted a very gentle kiss on his lips. When they broke from the moment, she watched the very tip of Kurt’s tongue sneak out and lick his lips. It was a sight that filled her with a tingly feeling, and she kept hold of one of his hands as they began to walk further around the rim of the dirt bowl.
“That’s deep,” she observed, gazing down into the scrub again. “You must be wicked strong to get up that slope.”
“In bear form,” Kurt agreed with a nod. “Humans have no chance, it’s just too high. We do a lot of rescues out here when the hikers come along.”
“You like your work?” Stacey asked. It was a genuine question, and it felt good not to be interrogating for a change.
“I guess,” Kurt replied, looking out to the path ahead. “It’s better than any other job. But, I… No, it’s stupid.”
“Tell me,” she pressed, gently holding his strong, thick arm. “Is there something else you’d rather be doing?”
“Not really,” he said, “I just feel empty sometimes. Like, I have a job and nothing else. I want some excitement, I suppose.”
“You ought to be careful,” she began thoughtfully, “that kind of thinking leads to trouble.”
She’d hit a nerve. It seemed that she couldn’t help her skills from coming through even when she wasn’t trying to draw intel out of a mark. She saw a range of emotions pass Kurt’s face, each threatening to strip him of what was left of his grin. Eventually he let out a sigh, and stopped walking. He stood facing her, as he had on Friday night, and at once she wanted to kiss him again, as deep as before. But there was no thought of kissing on Kurt’s face. He looked pained, and she already knew why.
“Stacey, you’re a nice girl,” he began. “You wouldn’t ever want to go out with a gambler, would you?”
She had to play this one carefully. She took a moment to plan my sentence before she spoke.
“Well it wouldn’t be my first choice,” she began, “but-”
He never let her finish. Kurt nodded and made a little scoffing sound, and he finally let go of her hand.
“That’s what I thought,” he said, even as she tried to speak again. “You know what? We ought to call this off now. I’m… I’m just not good enough for you.”
He was turning and leaving, and Stacey couldn’t bear it. To her own surprise, a huge rush of emotion hit her chest, like he had her heart on a tow-rope and was ripping it out of her ribs with every step. She knew that she had never felt something so powerful before. He was it. He was the thing she’d been looking for all her life.
“I met your grandmother, Anina,” Stacey called after him. “She told me everything yesterday.”
Kurt didn’t stop walking, and Stacey was determined not to let the conversation slide. She raced up after him, just within earshot of his reply.
“She has no business telling people about my problems,” Kurt grumbled, his voice almost a growl.
&nbs
p; “But I’m still here,” Stacey urged. “She told me yesterday and I still wanted to see you. It doesn’t matter.”
Kurt stopped, and he spun on the spot. Stacey knew at once that she’d made another mistake.
“Oh, it matters,” he said, the pain evident in every level of his voice. “I’m in too deep to get out, Stacey. I owe a lot of money, and every time I go to try and win it back, I get even deeper in the hole. They’ve got me. It’s only a matter of time before Big Al sends the nasties to come and collect.”
“The nasties,” Stacey repeated. Kurt mistook it for a question.
“Low-life goons who’ve got nothing better to do than ruin other people’s lives,” he explained.
Was that really how he saw her? Stacey tried not to feel the hurt that sank into her heart at his words. He didn’t understand that collectors were people too. We all had a job to do in this world, and as much as she felt sorry for his struggle, it was his debt, his fault really.
“You can’t get a loan from your grandma? Your brother?” Stacey suggested.
Kurt shook his head.
“We don’t have that kind of income to hand,” Kurt said sadly. “It all goes back into the family business. Fairhaven takes a lot of money to run, we’re very nearly a charity.”
“So there’s no way out?” Stacey mused.
When Kurt did not reply, Stacey’s heart gave another stab. One way or another, Big Al always got paid back. On those rare occasions where his debtors couldn’t raise the funds, nasty things had happened. Things that Jack would talk about and Stacey would cover her ears and plead with him to stop. Jack enjoyed being close to such a powerful, dangerous man. If Stacey had known the truth of Big Al when she started working for him, she never would have taken the job. Now, she was in deep too, trapped just like Kurt. If she couldn’t convince him to deliver the money, awful things would happen.
“You really want to help me, don’t you?” Kurt asked. “Stace, you’re nearly crying.”
She hadn’t noticed until he pointed it out, but there was a sting of tears pressing hard against her eyes for release. She had never wanted to help a mark so badly, and Stacey knew that was because Kurt wasn’t a mark. Perhaps he hadn’t ever been a mark, even when she first saw his glorious grinning form among the happy campers. Now, in her private viewing of his serious side, he was just as stunning. He held her arms at the biceps, studying her face carefully.
Then, he leaned in, and she let him take a kiss. It was warm and deep, lingering with pressure on her lips until they opened. Kurt let his tongue slide against hers, their lips locked amid hot breath and fast-beating hearts. Stacey felt her hands rush up the front of Kurt’s shirt, feeling the solid muscles beneath the thin fabric of his uniform. She was racing with nerves, pulsing with desire. Everything could have happened there and then. She felt so much, too much to hold in, like she could only really show Kurt how she felt with her body against his.
He pulled her in hungrily, transferring the kisses to her neck. She felt his hands sliding down her back, warmth spreading everywhere and making her shudder. He was hard too. As she embraced him, she felt the throbbing shaft give her thigh a push. They were alone on the path with the glorious sun beating down, but their passion was rising above even that heat.
“You know when you said you were looking for excitement?” Stacey teased, whispering against his ear.
“Mmmm,” Kurt agreed, his face buried against her collarbone.
But Jack flashed into Stacey’s mind, even as ecstasy overwhelmed her. She would have to stop Kurt soon. There were rules, damnit. She couldn’t account for the wildness of it all, or the way she just knew that Kurt had given her something that no other man would be able to. They both deserved to be treated fairly, no matter how badly she wanted to rip Kurt’s shirt off and vanish into the trees with him.
“We should slow down,” she said, hating herself for having to say it.
It took Kurt a moment for the words to sink in, but he pulled away reluctantly.
“You’re right,” he said, panting. “We’ve got plenty of time. Plenty of dates, right?”
“Of course,” Stacey said with a smile. The pain inside her was phenomenal.
“And don’t worry about what I said about the gambling,” Kurt offered with a grin. “I’ll work on it. It’s my problem, not yours.”
He was so very wrong, and Stacey could tell that he too was hiding pain behind his smile.
* * *
It was later that evening when Jack asked Stacey to meet him. There was a lounge bar in a hotel called the Old Spring Lodge, a fair walk from the campsite. When Stacey found it, there were only a few barflies sitting at a long, polished platform, and beyond that there were some comfortable-looking armchairs. Each pair of chairs had such high backs that they towered over a person’s head. Jack looked like a little boy in the chair he had chosen. He even had the petulant scowl on his face to complete the look.
“What’s wrong with you?” Stacey asked, settling into an opposite chair.
“Tell me about this,” Jack demanded.
He threw a digital camera at her, and it landed hard against her stomach. Stacey fumbled with the display to find that it was focused on one picture. It had been taken only a few hours ago, and it showed her and Kurt wrapped up in each other’s arms. She couldn’t get over how happy she looked.
“You didn’t even tell me that you’d made contact,” Jack accused.
“I…” Stacey began, still staring at the picture. “I didn’t want to scare the guy off, that’s all.”
“You’re sure?” Jack said sharply. “Because you always tell me, Stacey. You’ve never not told me when the first kiss happened before.”
If he knew that that wasn’t even the first kiss, then Jack was going to flip. Stacey decided to keep quiet about that, but she couldn’t look into his dark eyes and lie to him any longer. Kissing Kurt had made her realize what really mattered, and that was the truth.
“Look, I wanted to wait until after the job, so as not to distract you,” she began carefully, “but, I don’t want to do this anymore, Jack.”
As she’d predicted, he wasn’t all that hurt. He blinked the words away and gave a shrug.
“Okay, look, you’re overworked,” he reasoned, “If you need a vacation, I get it. But we’re a team, Stacey. Always have been, always will be.”
“No,” Stacey cut in, as gently as she could manage. “I mean, we’re done. Whatever we are, whatever you want us to be, it’s done. This used to just be a job, but you’ve crossed a line.”
And then she saw a quick flash of rage in Jack’s eyes. She hadn’t been expecting it, because he never showed her his emotions, but now they were flowing clear as crystal in his eyes. She saw a vulnerability there that he hadn’t possessed for a long time, and a confusion and panic that really did make him look like a lost little boy. But in moments, the pain was over. Something dark clouded Jack’s gaze and his face turned emotionless.
Over his shoulder, he said: “I’m out. She’s all yours, Al.”
There were two chairs behind Jack, arranged at another table. Stacey watched two figures rise from those chairs, and she got to her feet too, looking to the first figure with disgust. Big Al Moschino had made his way up from LA to see her, in all his gutsy, greasy glory. His hair was slicked flat to his head, a bad dye job trying to cover grey with jet black, and he wore a suit that must have fit him once, and gradually been stretched over the years. The cigarette hanging from his mouth gave him the appearance of a patchwork walrus with one remaining tooth. He grinned at Stacey, and she looked away, only to find that her shock increased with the second person that she saw.
“You were spying on me?” Kurt asked. “This was all bullshit.”
“See what I told you, buddy,” Jack said to Kurt, his tone harsh. “You gotta watch these women. They’re not to be trusted.”
Stacey wanted to scream, not from fear but from anger. In that moment, she didn’t care what the viciou
s Big Al might do to her if she stepped out of line, she only wanted Kurt to know that she had never meant to hurt him. They’d gone into their first meeting on the wrong foot, but everything thereafter had been real. She wanted him for his grin, his kindness, his warmth and his truth. She needed him to teach her how to be honest again.
“I wish we hadn’t met this way,” she told him. “I really-”
“Save it,” Big Al snapped. “You can do your lovey-dovey shit later. First, the bear-boy and I have got a deal to strike.”
Jack stepped up to Stacey, hovering beside her like he’d restrain her if he needed to. She could feel the anger coming off him in waves, and at least she felt some small relief that she was no longer going to have to spend time around him. They both watched in fraught silence as Big Al squared up to Kurt. They were both the same considerable height, though Al was much wider round the middle, and Kurt seemed too hurt to be intimidated.
Leeward Bear (BBW Shifter Romance) (Fisherbears Book 3) Page 91