She wondered about this sudden interest in her patient. “Why so many questions, Ken?”
“You said I wasn’t paying attention earlier and I wanted you to know that I’m listening,” he replied.
Monica grew suspicious. Could Ken be the married man she was involved with? Could this be why he’s been acting strange and distant over the past couple years? She began to wonder.
Then it dawned on her that if he was the baby’s father, his lover might have been the person who threw the brick through the window of their former home.
But would Ken treat a woman as badly as Susan claims her lover treated her? Would he abandon his son and not visit him?
All of these thoughts ran through her mind. She didn’t want to jump to any conclusions but started getting worried. She hoped he would not cheat on her and risk losing everything.
She wanted to ask him if he knew a Susan Johnson but she was afraid of what his answer would be so decided not to. She hoped he would say something to her if he were the married man she was talking about.
He could tell that something was going through Monica’s mind because she didn’t say anything else during dinner. He started wondering if she knew of his affair with Susan and was mentioning her hospitalization to see how he would respond.
He thought it a little strange that she would share Susan’s situation with him. This was the most she had ever revealed about her patients and this was the first time she disclosed a patient’s name.
He still planned on telling her about his affair but he just couldn’t do it, especially since she was carrying their second child. She sensed that he wanted to tell her something but she wasn’t prepared to deal with it that night. They were both silent, preoccupied with their suspicions.
“I’m tired. I think I’ll go to bed after I clean the kitchen,” she said.
He was relieved because he knew confessing would hurt her and he didn’t want to upset her while Marci was home.
“Go to bed, sweetheart, I’ll clean the kitchen tonight.”
When Monica went upstairs, he wrote her a letter explaining everything that happened between him and Susan. He went into his den to write his confession.
My dearest Monica,
I love you and Marci with all my heart and I never meant to hurt you. I wanted to talk to you in person, but I just couldn’t face you.
I know writing seems like the easy way out and frankly, it’s the only way I am able to tell you what happened without breaking down.
I have something I must explain. If after you read this letter you want me to leave I will certainly understand. I guess you know by now that something has been going on with me that caused me to act differently or out of character. The truth is I had an affair with another woman for nearly fifteen months.
I know you are probably wondering why I had an affair. The truth is I really do not know. You’re a good woman and you did not deserve any of this.
Knowing that I betrayed you by cheating and breaking our wedding vows is killing me and has been for some time.
When you first confronted me about something being different I should have told you then how I was feeling. Maybe, if I had told you what was going on inside of my head, we would not be here today, in pain.
I know you have a lot of questions and I’ll try to give you some answers. She and I met on a Friday night when Jake and I and some of the guys from work went out to celebrate the new client we acquired.
After dinner and a few drinks we were about to leave when a woman approached me. She thought she knew me but soon realized she did not.
Do you remember when Jake invited us to the party he had for his clients, but you stayed home to be with Marci? Well, she was there and we started talking.
Everything between us was purely platonic for about five months. We would occasionally talk on the telephone about investments and other things.
I don’t know how we became intimate. You must believe me when I say that I never meant for any of this to happen. I was a fool and an idiot to cheat on you. You and Marci are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I don’t want to lose you.
The affair lasted longer than it should have. When I broke it off with her she became angry. She was the person who threw a brick through our window.
Anyway, every time I wanted to tell you I could not bring myself to do it. She meant nothing to me. I never loved her. It has always been you that I love.
After I told her to stop calling me, she told me she was pregnant with my child. Naturally I did not believe her because I knew she would say anything if she thought it would get me to leave you and Marci.
We used protection every time. I told her that once the baby was born that I wanted to take a paternity test.
The baby was born about four months ago and the results for the paternity test came back a few weeks after he was born. I am so sorry but the baby is mine. His name is Kenneth Adam Thomas.
That night you told me you were pregnant was the evening I had decided I was going to tell you everything but after hearing about our baby, I changed my mind. I wanted that night to be special for the both of us.
I saw that night as a chance for us to start all over. I saw it as a new beginning. This is why I wanted to move. I knew I had a lot of making up to do to you and Marci and I honestly thought a new house and a new baby could do it.
After we moved into our new home, she no longer called me nor tried to get in touch with me. I took this as a sign that she finally understood that it was over. A month had passed and she had not called. I knew running away was not going to make things go away but I was willing to try.
Prior to our move I tried helping her out with the baby as much as I could. Do you remember that day when you tried to reach me after your doctor’s appointment? Well, I was at her place watching the baby. I was only trying to do what was right by the baby. You have to believe me.
Anyway, when I woke up this morning I felt really bad. I had put myself into a bad situation and too many innocent people were being affected: you, Marci and Kenneth. None of you deserve to be mistreated or hurt and therefore tonight was the night I had planned to tell you.
When I arrived to work this morning, Jake told me that he received a call from her yesterday stating that since she could not have me that she was going to kill herself and if I didn’t get the baby, she was going to kill him also.
She had not made any contact with me in about a month. I had no idea she would go this far. Tonight when you mentioned your patient at the hospital who attempted suicide and tried to kill her son, I immediately thought of her and when you said Ms. Johnson, I was certain it was Susan.
I know you’re angry and feel betrayed. But I don’t feel it’s right for Kenneth to end up in foster care because of my foolish mistakes. Because of the type of woman I know you are, I know you agree with me.
There is a good chance that Susan will end up in prison for trying to kill the baby and I want to at least try to get custody of him so he can grow up with a father.
I know I’m asking a lot from you and I want you to know that whatever happens, I do understand. I know you are going to need some time to take this all of this in.
I was going to leave tonight and be gone when you wake in the morning but I wanted to lie next to you and hold you, I hope not for the last time.
Again, I am truly sorry and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me and give me another chance to make things right. I do not want to lose you but right now I know I do not have the right to ask you to stay. I would like to call you in a few days if it is okay with you.
Love Always
After writing his confession, Ken went to their bedroom and held his wife very tightly. He knew once she read his letter, things were going to change and he wasn’t sure if he would ever be given the chance to hold her again.
The next day he told Monica and Marci that he loved them very much. He then kissed them goodbye and headed to work. When he arrived, he t
old Jake about Susan and the letter he left for Monica.
Jake couldn’t believe he actually told his wife. He asked Ken about his next steps and Ken simply told him that he was going to wait and see what his wife would do but first he was going to the hospital to see his son.
When Ken nervously entered his son’s room he stood helplessly and stared at Kenneth’s little body hooked up to a machine.
“We had to give him oxygen and an IV,” said the nurse, “but he will be okay.”
“When will he be discharged?” he asked.
“In a few days but I understand he is scheduled to go into foster care.”
“Do you know the number to the agency that is handling his case? I’m his father and I want to get custody of him,” he said.
The nurse wrote a number from his file, “Here’s the information that was given to us. I believe they can help you.”
Ken kissed his son and then headed back to work. He called the Department of Human Services and told them who he was. They explained if his name is on the baby’s birth certificate that there was a good chance he could get custody of him.
Meanwhile, Monica found his letter on the dining room table. As she read it carefully, she started crying profusely. Words could not describe the pain she was feeling.
Fortunately, she did not have to work and had already taken Marci to daycare. When she read the part about the baby, she almost fell to the floor. She had to catch herself because she did not want to hurt her unborn child.
She felt alone and betrayed. How could he do this to me? To us? I tried to be a good wife and keep things exciting. Am I not beautiful enough? Should I have tried harder to make him happy?
Maybe it is my weight, perhaps I put on too many pounds? It must have been something I did or didn’t do that drove him into the arms of another woman.
With these thoughts spinning through her head, Monica began blaming herself for his indiscretion. She did not know what to do. She called her parents and told them everything. They insisted that she and Marci come and stay with them for a little while or at least until she wanted to talk to Ken.
She packed their belongings and left a note for Ken telling him that she read his letter and she had to leave.
Ken, words cannot express the pain and betrayal I am feeling right now. I have tried my best to ensure that our marriage would last. I never would have imagined that we would be at this place.
Marci and I will be staying at my parents’ house for a few weeks until you have a chance to get some of your things and move out. I would appreciate it if you didn’t call me. When I’m ready to talk I will call you.
After leaving the note she put their things in the car and drove to her parents’ house, not knowing what the future had in store for her marriage.
Ken was scared to come home. He tried calling first to see if Monica was there and if she would answer. When there was no answer, he drove to the house to get some of his belongings.
When he went inside he could tell that no one was there. He went upstairs to shower and change his clothes. Afterwards he went into the kitchen to get something to eat. That’s when he saw Monica’s note on the counter.
As Ken began reading her note his eyes filled up with tears. Knowing his wife, he knew she was in pain. He knew someone would get hurt but he was really hoping it would not be her.
A week passed and she still had not returned home nor had she made any contact with Ken. He was able to speak with Marci whenever he called but Monica was not ready to talk to him.
Although he missed her and desperately wanted to talk to her, he respected her wishes and was more than willing to follow whatever rules she had in place. He didn’t want to lose his family.
In the meantime, Susan was discharged from the psychiatric ward and sent to prison. She was officially charged with Attempted First Degree Murder, assault, reckless endangerment, and endangering the welfare of a child.
While in prison she was placed on suicide watch. She was completely devastated. She had not planned any of this. All she wanted was to fall in love, get married, and start a family.
Prison proved to be very difficult for her. She had never been arrested nor had any trouble with the law before this. When she tried to kill herself and the baby with the pills, she was hoping it would be successful. She didn’t think about what would happen if they survived.
After being in prison for four months her attorney was able to get a plea deal for her with the Prosecutor’s Office. Since the baby did not die and she had documentation from the Psychiatric Hospital that she was suffering from Post-Partum Depression in addition to being Clinically Depressed, she was given a sentence of ten years in prison with no early release.
She lost her parental rights and could never make any attempts to see the baby. She accepted this offer knowing that if she went to trial she could possibly get the maximum of thirty years if found guilty.
Ken learned of her fate when the Department of Human Services granted him full custody of his son. He never imagined that an affair could turn so deadly and deeply regretted Susan’s imprisonment.
He began raising little Kenneth on his own. He moved out of the house that he shared with Monica and found a three-bedroom apartment closer to downtown Chicago.
Monica and Marci moved back into their home nearly two weeks after Ken told her of his affair. She and Ken started conversing when she was about eight months pregnant. Although she could not forgive him for his affair, she didn’t want to deny him the opportunity to see his child being born.
One afternoon while visiting with her parents, she started to go into labor. Her father called Ken and told him to meet them at the hospital. He was excited that she kept her word and was allowing him to be at the delivery.
Although they had spoken, they had not seen each other since he moved out. Whenever he wanted to see Marci, he had to pick her up from her grandparents’ home.
When he arrived to the hospital, Marci was in the waiting area; she immediately ran and jumped into his arms. “Daddy, daddy,” she yelled, wrapping her arms around his neck.
He squeezed her very tightly, “Hey, baby girl. You look prettier than ever.”
“Mommy is about to have a baby. I hope it’s a boy. I really want a little brother,” she said as a big smile came across her face.
“I know, baby. That is why I’m here. Go back to Granddad. I need to go and see Mommy,” he said, putting her down.
Marci ran back to the waiting room where her granddad was sitting. Ken waved hello to him, then went into Monica’s private room. He entered and hugged his mother-in-law.
The doctor began examining Monica, “Let’s take a look and see how far you have dilated. How do you feel?” Dr. Jackson asked.
“I feel better since I received the epidural. I just want to hurry and have this baby,” she said with a light chuckle.
“Well it looks like you’re going to get your wish. I can see the baby’s head,” she said.
Dr. Jackson left the room to get the nurse.
“Hello,” said Ken uncomfortably, not knowing what else to say to his wife.
“Hello. I’m glad you were able to make it. Seems like you made it here just in time,” Monica smiled.
“Thanks for letting me come to see our baby being born. I really appreciate it, Monica. I know you didn’t have to do it. By the way you look as beautiful as ever,” he said, trying to hold back the tears.
“You’re welcome. It wouldn’t seem right if the baby came into the world without both of us being here. After all you are the father and you deserve to be here,” she reached out for his hand.
Before they could finish talking, the doctor and nurse returned to the room to deliver the baby.
“Okay Monica, I’m going to need for you to push when I tell you to. Are you ready to do this?” asked Dr. Jackson.
“Yes,” said Monica.
“Okay the baby’s head is within reach. This is going to be easy and fast. Okay I need for you
to give me a big push right now.”
As she was giving a big push Ken was by her side, holding her hand every step of the way. After three pushes, the next sound they heard was that of their baby son crying. Both Monica and Ken joined him.
The doctor gave Ken the scissors to cut the umbilical cord. Once the cord was cut the nurse took the baby over to the table to clean him off, weigh him, and take his footprints. She then gave him to Monica.
They couldn’t stop staring at the baby. The nurse asked for the baby’s name and Monica told her Adam Michael Thomas.
“He looks perfect,” said Monica.
“Yes he does. You did a wonderful job. Can I hold him?” Ken asked, wiping tears from his eyes.
“Sure—here you go,” she handed him the baby.
Ken kissed his son, “Hey little guy. This is your dad. I love you so much. I promise that I will always be here for you no matter what.”
Monica’s father entered the room with Marci to see the baby. Marci was so excited that she had a baby brother. The proud grandfather put his arm around Ken and they began talking about the baby.
After being in the hospital for three days, Monica and the baby came home. It was agreed that her mother would stay with her for a few weeks. Initially Ken was going to come over but when she found out that he had received custody of his other son she decided to ask her mother. She wasn’t ready to deal with the reality of him having another child. He volunteered to keep Marci for a few weeks.
They had not discussed their marriage or what the next steps were for their family. All she wanted to do was to heal after having the baby and take care of their children until she could figure things out.
She had mixed feelings. She still loved Ken and wanted so desperately to take him back but she was still having difficulty dealing with his affair and most of all, the baby. She had spoken to her parents about what happened but she didn’t talk to them about her feelings. She was afraid they wouldn’t understand her desire to stay with Ken.
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