Although he hated the idea of her being with someone else, it was not enough to commit to her. He really liked her and part of him wanted to be in a monogamous relationship but he was afraid to commit solely to one person again. Unlike him, she would rather they commit only to each other, but knew this was something he didn’t want.
After two years of dating, Jake had yet to suggest a monogamous relationship and Camille was beginning to question if she wanted to sit around waiting for him to make up his mind. Even though she knew he dated other women, she chose to see no one but him.
During one of her travels, she met a nice gentleman named Paul whom she agreed to meet for dinner. She felt a little guilty because she really enjoyed his company.
“I am glad you agreed to have dinner with me. You look stunning,” said Paul.
Camille dazzled him with her smile, “Thanks for inviting me. You look nice as well.”
“I have to ask you something that has been on my mind since we first met,” he said.
“What is it, Paul?”
“Are you married or seeing someone?”
She didn’t know how to answer.
“No, I’m not married. I’ve been seeing someone for about two years now but we have not fully committed to each other.”
“I find it hard to believe that a woman as beautiful and wonderful as you seem to be isn’t married or at least in a monogamous relationship with someone,” Paul shook his head incredulously.
“It’s complicated,” she said.
“Are you in love with him?”
“Yes, I love him.”
“Does he love you?”
“He says he does.”
“You don’t know? Has he proposed to you yet?” questioned Paul.
“No, not yet,” she said.
“Well, excuse me for saying this, but he must be a fool for letting a beautiful woman like you remain single.”
She did not know what to say.
“Thanks for the compliment. You know how to make a lady feel special,” Camille smiled sadly.
“If you were my lady there is no way I would want to see you with anyone else. Can I see you again or at least stay in touch with you?”
“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. Somehow I feel as if that’s cheating,” she said.
“How can it be cheating when you’re not in a committed relationship? Is your friend dating other women?”
“In fact he is.” She paused for a moment, and then reconsidered, “Here is my home and cellular number.”
“Thanks Camille. Here are my numbers. Call me anytime. If you are ever in Los Angeles again you can give me a call and maybe we can hang out.”
As she and Paul continued their dinner, she couldn’t remember the last time she laughed so much. He was a really nice guy, intent on pleasing her and making her happy that night.
After dinner he dropped her off at her hotel and kissed her gently on the cheek.
“Goodbye, Camille. I hope to hear from you soon. Is it okay if I call you sometimes to see how you’re doing?” he asked.
“Sure. I would like that.”
“Thanks for a wonderful dinner. Remember you are a special lady and you deserve to be treated as such. I’m glad I met you and even happier that you went out with me tonight. Take care of yourself and I’ll talk to you soon,” he said.
“No. Thank you, Paul. I’m glad I accepted your invitation. You take care also,” replied Camille after kissing him on the cheek.
“Goodnight,” he said.
“Goodnight,” said Camille.
It was 4:30 a.m. when she arrived at the airport for her 6:30 flight back to Chicago. The airport was crowded and she was glad she arrived two hours early. By the time she checked her bags and went through security they had started boarding the plane at her gate.
As she flew home she thought about what Paul had said. Why hasn’t Jake committed to me yet? Am I foolish for waiting? Should I move on to someone else?
She began to wonder that maybe she was wasting her time with him. She decided that she was going to tell him that she could not see him any longer. It was time for her to move on.
When she arrived at her apartment, she could tell that Jake had been there. There was a beautiful bouquet of flowers on the table along with a card that read See you tonight. Love Jake.
Normally she would be happy to receive flowers from him but she knew she was going to break things off and therefore could not get excited. In fact, she decided that she did not want to see him that night.
Instead she called one of her girlfriends to see if they could meet for dinner and drinks. She wanted to talk to someone she could trust before she broke up with Jake.
She and Candace met for dinner. She couldn’t wait to discuss her problem with Jake. Before she got started, Candace told her that she had just been offered a position as a prosecuting attorney and that she accepted. She wanted to celebrate tonight because she started her new job on Monday morning.
“Congratulations, Candace! You’ve worked long and hard. No one else deserves this position more than you do,” said Camille.
“Thanks. So what is going on with you? You sounded worried on the telephone,” Candace quickly changed the subject.
“I really need your advice. I’ve fallen in love with Jake and I believe he loves me as well. The only problem is he does not seem interested in marrying me or committing to only me.
“I admit that I’ve never confronted him about being monogamous because I believe that’s something he should do,” she said.
Candace shook her head, “You need to talk your feelings over with him. If afterwards he still doesn’t want to commit to a monogamous relationship, then you should follow your heart. If your heart says to break up with him, that’s what you do. You should never settle for being a link in someone’s chain.”
“What are you talking about?” Camille asked.
“You remember that song by Aretha Franklin called ‘Chain of Fools’?” she replied while laughing.
Camille laughed back, “What do you know about that song? You’re too young.”
“My mother used to play that song all the time. Anyway, what she’s singing about is being in a relationship with some guy and he’s dating a lot of different women who are all links in his chain.
“She just found out that in the five years they were together that she is one of those links. She was foolishly sitting idle waiting for him to decide who to cut loose and who to keep connected.
“You need to get a copy and listen to it,” said Candace, chuckling again.
Camille couldn’t help but laugh but she knew Candace was right. She was already feeling foolish for being with Jake for over two years without him even attempting to commit. She decided that she was going to tell Jake how she felt.
She and Candace finished around 8:00 p.m. On her way home she decided to call Jake to see if he wanted to come over. She was somewhat surprised that he did not answer his cell phone.
She decided to call him at home. When his voicemail came on she left him a message asking him to call.
After an hour had passed and he had not called her back, she knew he was probably out with another woman. She felt a little jealous because he would always answer her call, even while out with one of his female friends.
She was tired from her trip so she decided to take a long bath and then go to bed. While bathing, she nodded off. Her telephone ringing woke her up.
She wondered if it was Jake finally calling her back. She was unable to get to the telephone in time and her answering machine came on. It was Candace calling to check on her. She was disappointed that it wasn’t Jake.
She drained the tub and got ready for bed. As she walked towards her bedroom, she smelled candles burning and heard music. For a moment she thought she was dreaming.
When she went into her bedroom, Jake was lying in bed holding a rose. He told her that he let himself in with the key she had given him. She asked how long had he
been there and he told her long enough to see her asleep in the bathtub.
She was very happy to see him. She knew they needed to talk but she decided to wait. All she wanted to do was enjoy him that evening.
The next morning she woke up to the wonderful smell of pancakes. He had cooked her breakfast and served it to her in bed.
“What’s gotten into you? Why am I getting all this special attention?” she questioned.
“I love you and appreciate you for understanding me and not pressuring me into marriage,” Jake replied.
“Why are you so against marriage and commitment?”
“I am not against it but it’s not for me,” he said.
“How do you know it’s not for you if you’ve never tried it?”
“I never said that I wasn’t in a committed relationship. In fact, I was engaged before,” he said.
Camille pushed back her tray. “What? You, engaged? I find that hard to believe! You seem so totally against it now.”
“Well I was.”
“Okay, so what happened?”
“She cheated on me,” Jake replied as he held his head down.
Camille was shocked. She had no idea that he was engaged before. They had agreed to never talk about past relationships.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said.
“That’s okay—it wasn’t your fault. There’s no need for you to be sorry. I was madly in love with her and completely committed to her. We met while in graduate school and were engaged for two years.
“The night before our wedding, I found out that she slept with her ex-boyfriend. She claimed she ran into him at the club where her bridal shower was being held.
“She was supposedly drunk and when she woke up that morning she was at his apartment in bed with him,” he said.
“How did you find out? Did she tell you?” questioned Camille.
“No, she didn’t tell me. Her ex-boyfriend called and told me about it. When I confronted her she started crying and said she didn’t mean for it to happen.
“Naturally the wedding was called off and I’ve never been committed to another woman since.”
“That was a long time ago, baby. I understand your pain and anger but holding on to that isn’t fair to our relationship. You should not let that situation dictate your life. By doing so you’re letting her win all over again,” said Camille as she went over and put her arms around him.
“I know, baby. I was doing well until I met you. You’re the first woman I’ve met that I even thought about committing to since I broke off my wedding to Lisa,” he said.
She felt confused and was not sure what to do about their relationship. “What are your intentions with our relationship? Do you think you can ever get married or commit to me?”
“I do love you, Camille, but right now I don’t want to change anything about our relationship. It’s perfect the way it is.”
“Do you think you could ever stop seeing other women and be committed to only me?” she asked.
“Out of all the women I am involved with, you’re the only one I truly love. Can that be enough for now? The other women mean nothing to me,” he said.
“I don’t understand why you don’t want to stop seeing them. You say you love me but not enough to be faithful. That makes little sense to me.”
“I’m not ready to give up that part of my life and settle down with just one woman. I thought you were okay with how things are between us,” said Jake.
“Come on, Jake. I was at first but I didn’t think things would be that way for this long. It has been over two years since we started dating. I’m sorry but I cannot do this any longer. I feel like a fool. It’s obvious that you don’t intend on committing to me.
“We seem to want different things now and I want someone who can only be committed to me. I love you so much, which makes this so difficult. It is over. I believe it’s time we let go and go our separate ways,” said Camille.
Jake didn’t know what to say. His enormous ego was actually bruised. He had never had someone break up with him before. Whenever his relationships ended, he was always the one who finished them.
Should I try and convince her to stay? Or should I let her walk away? Man, I’m not sure what to do. I do love her but I don’t like being backed into a corner either, he thought to himself.
“I understand your position but are you sure this is what you want?” he asked.
“You know what I want but you’re not ready for it. I don’t want to end it but I feel it’s what I need to do,” she replied.
Deep down he wanted to ask her to stay but his pride and male ego would not let him. He gave her a cold, hard stare, then turned and left her apartment, intending to never see Camille again.
The next few weeks were difficult for both of them. Camille painfully realized that maybe Jake did not love her as much as she previously thought.
The fact that he would rather lose her than stop seeing other women was a harsh reality for her. She thought they would be together forever. She decided that she would put all of her energy into her career and not get involved with anyone for a while.
Jake, on the other hand, realized that he cared for Camille more than he imagined. He thought it would be easy to get over her, especially since he was involved with other women. When he told her he loved her he meant it. He was starting to have second thoughts about his decision to let her go.
After about five months of being apart, Jake realized his life seemed different. Something was missing. He was not as happy as he was before. He was beginning to comprehend how important Camille was to him. How she made everything seem right, especially when he had a bad day at work. His other women only fulfilled his sexual needs. With her he was able to be himself. He was able to put his guard down without being judged.
While Jake was beginning to wonder if he made a huge mistake letting her go, Camille was starting to feel better about herself. She started working out again and putting more time into her career. She even started to date. Part of her did miss Jake and part of her did not. She was beginning to move on with her life.
One night while out with a group of friends having dinner and drinks, Jake saw a familiar woman walk into the restaurant; it was Camille. Her friend Paul had come to town on business and he and Camille decided to go out to dinner. They had been dating for four months. He would fly her to Los Angeles and he would fly to Chicago to see her.
She looked beautiful and happy. She did not notice Jake because she was so focused on Paul. When he saw her he wanted to say something but didn’t know what. Jake began to get jealous. This was a new feeling for him; he had never been jealous before.
Ken was with him and noticed he was acting strangely. He asked what was wrong and Jake told him that Camille was there with someone else.
Ken could tell Jake was starting to get uneasy, “Jake, do you want to just leave?”
Jake refused to let anyone know that he was bothered seeing her with someone else, “I’m good—let’s stick around.”
The night proved to be very difficult for him. He couldn’t help but look over at her to see what she was doing. Finally after about an hour or so, he got up from his seat and went over to where she was. When she saw Jake walking towards her she didn’t know what to expect or say. She had no idea he was at the restaurant.
“Hello, Camille. How have you been? Can I have a minute to speak with you?” asked Jake.
She didn’t want to be rude to Paul so she introduced them. “Hello, Jake. Paul, this is Jake; Jake, Paul,” she said nervously.
“Hi Jake,” said Paul as he extended his hand to shake Jake’s.
“Paul,” said Jake as he ignored the extended hand.
“I’ve been well, Jake, but this is not a good time to talk. You can give me a call in the morning and we can talk then,” she said.
Jake did not accept this and asked her to just give him a few minutes. She could tell that he had a little too much to drink and to avoid a scene, she
asked Paul to excuse her and to give them a few minutes to talk.
Camille and Jake stepped outside. “Who is that guy you are with and how long have you been seeing each other?” he demanded.
“I don’t have to answer to you. It has been five months since we broke up. I suggest you call me in the morning when you’re sober so you don’t say something stupid,” she retorted angrily.
“I really miss you, Camille. I love you. I made a big mistake letting you go. Please give us another chance. We were together for almost three years. How can you just throw that away?” he said while attempting to put his arm around her.
“I’m sure that’s the alcohol talking. Besides I don’t think you can count the past five months, since we are not together, as part of our relationship,” she said as she moved out of the way of his reach.
“Yes, I have been drinking. But that’s not why I’m saying this. I really do miss having you in my life. My life has not been the same since you left. Please take me back,” he begged. She was shocked to hear him say these things. This was not the man she was used to.
Back inside the restaurant Paul began to wonder what was taking Camille so long to return. He paid the bill and decided to look for her outside. As he approached them, Jake was just leaning towards her, attempting to kiss her.
When she saw Paul coming, she put her hand out to prevent him from doing it.
“Hey baby, is everything okay?” asked Paul.
“Yes,” she said.
“Are you ready to go?” he asked.
“I am sorry, Jake, but I need to leave. Take care,” she said.
He stood there watching as they walked towards Paul’s car. After they left he went back inside the restaurant.
“Where did you go?” asked Ken.
“I needed to speak with Camille so we went outside to talk. I think I may have lost her forever,” Jake said, signaling for another drink.
“If you love and miss her as much as you say you do, then you need to stop letting your ego get in the way and tell her exactly how you feel. Then you need to commit to her and her alone,” Ken advised.
Simply Complicated Page 10