“Your children seem like they are strong. The best thing you could have done was get counseling for them and for you. See, you are doing something! I’m proud of you and I guarantee the children are too,” said Kristie as she held him close to her chest.
“This is why I needed to see you too, baby. I had nowhere else to go. You always make me feel better. I love you so much and I appreciate you giving me space and time to help my family without getting angry when we didn’t talk for months.
“I now know why you were placed back into my life. I don’t think I could have handled all of this without you being here. Thank you so much,” he said as he kissed her gently on the lips.
She took a long, deep breath.
“Baby, I need to talk to you about something. It was one of the reasons why I wanted to meet but I’m not sure how to tell you,” she whispered, holding her head down. “This past year has been a little difficult for me as well.
“Let me start off by saying that I love you too, baby, and I’m here for you always—for a lifetime. I really trust that you feel the same way about me,” she said, trying to hold back the tears.
“Kristie you know I love you and I too am here for a lifetime. Now what’s the matter?” he asked, getting worried.
“About two months after we made love I found out that I was pregnant. I knew it wasn’t Donald’s because it had been longer than two months since he and I last made love. At first I was happy knowing I was carrying our baby, but then I realized that it would be impossible to keep it,” she said as the tears poured down her face.
“Oh my God—did you abort our baby without talking to me about it first?” he asked, trying not to get angry.
“I honestly thought about an abortion and I had planned on talking to you about it but you were too busy dealing with Lynn and the children. I didn’t want to add anymore confusion to your life,” she said, wiping the tears from her eyes.
“So does that mean you didn’t have an abortion?” Ted looked confused.
“No I did not. I couldn’t bring myself to do it,” she said.
Ted stepped back to examine her, “So what happened to the baby? You obviously aren’t pregnant now and I hope you wouldn’t go through nine months of pregnancy without even mentioning anything to me.”
“I had a miscarriage,” she said, hiding her face in her hands.
“Baby, I am so sorry you had to go through that ordeal all alone. How long were you in the hospital? How many months were you when it happened? What did Donald say?” he asked.
“I was about four months along when it happened. I told Donald that I was three months pregnant so he wouldn’t know of our affair. I was in the hospital for only one day.
“Donald was very supportive. He and the children were sad about the loss. They were my champions and helped me get through everything. I wanted to call you so desperately but you had so much going on and you still do,” she explained, her eyes never leaving his face.
“I need you to promise me that if you ever go into the hospital again, you’ll call me despite what I may be going through with my family. You are a part of my life too and I care about what happens to you, okay? Can you promise me that?” he asked as he gently grabbed her and pulled her close to him.
“I promise and I apologize for not calling,” Kristie smiled at him, “Now enough of this sadness. Let’s get up and dance to some music. Is our song still here?”
“Yes, I have it,” he said as he walked over to the stereo system to put it on.
As the music played she took his hand.
“Come on baby, let’s dance.”
“Only if I can lead,” he said jokingly.
“You can lead me anywhere, baby,” she put her head on his shoulder while they danced to their song.
“This song will get you in some trouble, girl. You better watch out,” he murmured as he caressed her back.
“You’re the one who better watch out. You keep rubbing up against me like that and you’ll be in trouble. Here comes my favorite part: Incredible, you bring out the woman in me with your style of love inseparable yes we are,” she sang as she kissed his neck.
When the song ended they stood in the middle of the floor kissing passionately.
“You look as if you could really use a massage. I can see the tension all over you. Let’s go into the bedroom so I can take care of that tension. Why don’t you take a shower first and then lie across the bed. I’ll do the rest,” offered Kristie.
“That sounds wonderful. See—that’s why I love you, girl,” he laughed as he hurried into the shower.
As he was getting in he turned around and she stood in the doorway, naked.
“Is there room for two? Move over—I need to take one as well.”
“Damn baby! Of course there’s room for you. Come on in,” he said happily.
“Give me the soap and let me rub you down nice and slow. This is the first step to getting rid of your tension. How does that feel, baby?” she asked as she rubbed soap all over him.
“That feels so good,” he said.
“Good. Now turn around and let me rub your back. The water is a perfect temperature. Nice and warm, which helps to relax the muscles. Okay, how does that feel?” she asked as she continued to rub his back.
“Damn baby, this feels so good,” he moaned with his eyes closed.
“Now let me wash between your legs. Oops! I didn’t mean to touch that but I see you’re enjoying this,” she giggled eagerly.
Ted was getting more excited, “When can I wash you? You said you were dirty. I think it’ll help me to relax by washing you.”
“Don’t worry about me baby; this is all about you,” she replied as she started kissing his shoulders.
“Let me wash you, baby—please,” he pleaded.
“Instead of you washing me how about you watch as I wash myself?” she suggested as she began rubbing soap on her body.
“That is torture,” he said jokingly.
“Mmmmm...this water feels so good against my body. I see why you were excited,” she began washing her inner thighs.
“Come on baby, let’s go to the bedroom,” he said as he turned off the water.
“Wait a minute; I’m the one taking care of you, not you me. But you’re right—it’s time to get out of the shower and head to the bed for your massage. You stay there while I get the towel. Step out so I can dry you off.
“Boy, I can see someone is still excited. Now go over to the bed and lie down. I have to get something out of my purse,” she said as she walked into the other room.
“What are you up to? I’m not used to this side of you. Not that I’m complaining,” he chuckled as he stretched across the bed.
“Just relax baby; I promise I won’t hurt you. All I want to do is take care of you. I had to get some oil out of my purse to help with the massage. It’s warming massage oil. I think you’ll like it,” she offered as she began rubbing it all over him.
“That feels so good. My body needed this so badly. How did you know? Never mind, you know me so well,” he relaxed and enjoyed her touch.
“Now turn over and lie on your back. I need to rub your chest and after I finish massaging your front I’ll be done,” she said as she applied more oil.
As she massaged his chest with the oil she rubbed some over her body. She then started slowly pressing her body against his. The more she stroked him, the more she rubbed up against him first with her breast and then with her entire body.
It was only minutes before she thrust him inside of her.
“Shit baby, that feels so good. I can feel your wetness all over me,” yelled Ted.
“Damn Ted, you feel so good. I can feel you deep inside of me. You feel so good. You’re going to make me explode,” moaned Kristie.
“Turn over baby, let me take over from here. It seems like you need me as much as I need you,” he murmured as he and Kristie made passionate love.
That day their relationship changed forever. Al
though they made love once before, this time was different. Ted never figured out why Kristie’s no-sex policy suddenly changed but he was happy that it did. He was feeling lonely in his marriage and although he often thought about leaving his wife, he could not bring himself to do it.
As Ted toiled through his wife’s battle with breast cancer and the fallout from the mastectomy during the course of that year, Kristie had her own challenges at home.
She was growing tired of Donald’s lack of interest in her sexually and his constant absence from the home. During the previous two years he had spent a great deal of time away from her and the children.
When sales in his real estate company started declining, he decided to take advantage of the fall of the housing market. He began purchasing foreclosed property from banks in the Chicago area and then selling them back to the homeowner for a lower deal than what they previously owed on the house.
When he started turning over a substantial profit, he began buying property in neighboring states, which required him to travel quite often. When he was not travelling he went out with his friends. He began neglecting Kristie and the children.
After numerous conversations with him about putting work and his friends above the family and seeing that the discussions didn’t change anything, she decided to stop trying.
She was starting to feel lonely and unattractive. She knew if it weren’t for the children, she would have left him years ago. She had put all of her time and energy into her children and her marriage over the past nineteen years. She felt as if her husband did not appreciate her and everything she had done for her family.
Every time she and Ted spent an evening together she felt like a beautiful woman again. She no longer cared if her husband would make love to her because she was now sharing something special with her first love.
Their relationship continued to grow stronger. They felt more connected with each other than with their spouses. Despite this connection they knew it was impossible for them to be together. They were both dedicated to their children and did not want them going through the agony of a divorce.
As time passed, Kristie grew tired of the lies and deceit. She found it difficult to get Ted out of her daily thoughts. The few times Donald tried to touch her or show some affection, she wanted so desperately to pull away.
She knew he would eventually suspect something was wrong and question her about it. She found herself no longer caring about her marriage. All she wanted to do was see Ted and be with him.
She started contemplating leaving her husband once the children graduated from high school. Katherine was fourteen and Donald Jr. sixteen. She was not sure if she could wait another four years, but for the sake of the children she was willing to do so. Her only fear was if Ted would leave Lynn once his children were out of high school, which was also in four years.
She decided the next time they were together that she would talk to him about it. They were scheduled to meet at the hotel that following Saturday.
“Hi baby, you look good,” said Ted, kissing her on the lips.
“Thanks—so do you,” she gave him a big hug.
“What’s wrong? You don’t seem like yourself. Is everything okay? Come over to the sofa and lay across my lap. Now tell me what’s troubling you, baby,” he said as he gently rubbed her hair.
“Ted, I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. I love you too much and it hurts every time we have to say goodbye. I’m willing to leave my husband if you leave your wife,” offered Kristie as she stretched across his lap.
“Baby, you have to be patient. I thought we agreed that we wouldn’t change anything. We both have a lot to lose if we simply walk away from our families. I know it’s hard, but believe me it will happen when the time is right,” he said as he bent down to kiss her cheek.
“I’m not talking about leaving now. Let’s promise that in four years, when our children have completed high school, we’ll divorce our spouses and plan to be together. I’m tired of this charade and the lies,” she said, obviously frustrated.
“Listen baby, let’s talk about this some other time, okay? I just want to enjoy your company right now. I think maybe you need to get away. I have to go to Detroit to meet with a potential client on Friday. Some big official has gotten himself in major trouble. “Why don’t you take off work and come with me? I’m sure you can come up with something to tell Donald. I’ll only be gone for a few hours. I’m leaving in the morning. If you go with me I’ll drive.”
Kristie sat up, “That was a nice way to avoid the conversation, Ted. I really want us to talk about this.”
“I wasn’t trying to avoid the conversation. I was simply suggesting that you come with me to Detroit so we can be together. I thought maybe we could talk on the way,” he said defensively.
“Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the time we spend together; but baby, I can’t just take off work to drive to Detroit. Besides, when Donald asks me why I’m missing work what am I to tell him? That I had to go with my lover to Detroit? I don’t think so. That’s a little too risky and I am not comfortable taking that risk,” sarcasm filled Kristie’s voice.
“Come on baby, can’t you tell him that you’re going to an all-day teacher’s workshop or something? You have them all the time. He won’t think anything of it. I don’t think it’s risky at all,” said Ted.
“Of course you wouldn’t consider it risky because you won’t be the one taking the chances. All of your trips are scheduled so you look as if you’re on legitimate business. I, on the other hand, will have a hell of a time explaining why I’m taking off work and getting home so late. “It may seem simple to you but typically when I have a workshop planned I tell him a few weeks ahead of time so he can pick the children up from school. Not to mention that it will take us at least four or five hours to drive to Detroit and the same to get back. There are no workshops that last that long,” she said with an attitude.
“Baby, you don’t have to get an attitude. You make it sound as if I’m not taking risks. The fact that I’m with you is a big risk. The fact that I love you and want to spend my life with you is a big risk. The fact that you were pregnant with my child was a big risk.
“I know it seems like I am not risking anything but you know that’s not true. If the paper got wind of our relationship and the baby, my name would be tarnished and my reputation destroyed. I took a chance opening my heart up to you again.
“I took a gamble trusting you again and I hope that wasn’t a mistake. I know you’re tired of the charade and honestly so am I, but baby it’s not fair to our families for us to selfishly run away together leaving them behind to suffer the after-effects.
“You are my soul mate and I’m glad to have you back in my life, but baby please don’t ask me to choose between you and my children. I will never ask that of you,” he pleaded with a disappointed expression.
Kristie held back tears as she spoke, “Let me first say that I agree both of us are taking great risks. Although I’m not a big-time defense attorney and the world wouldn’t care if I had an affair or not, it would still create terrible pain to the people I love.
“We talk about being each other’s soul mates and how we are meant to be together but do you really believe that? I agree it would be very selfish to simply run out on our families. That’s why I have to say goodbye to you now. I cannot do this any longer.
“It’s tearing me apart inside. I love you so much that it aches when I think of you and Lynn being together. It aches knowing that we may never be together. You keep telling me to be patient but in actuality what am I being patient for? You keep telling me that we’re close to being together but realistically how close is that?
“It has been almost five years. How many more do I have to wait before it finally happens, ten, twelve, fifteen? You just don’t understand, Ted. “Baby this has got to end. I love you and no matter what you will always be my soul mate—my one true love. But I am afraid this is goodbye. I think we’ve reached
the end,” Kristie’s voice broke as she finished.
“What do you mean goodbye? You can’t leave. I need you, baby. You told me that you were here for a lifetime. I gave you a chance to leave when we first started talking again and you said you didn’t want to leave. “You told me that you would be here no matter what and now you want to end it?
Where does that leave me? I know it’s hard for you because it’s hard for me. You think I enjoy thinking about you and Donald making love? I’ve wanted to tell you not have sex with him but I know that’s crazy.
“He is your husband and I know you are going to. I just try not to think about it. I make myself believe that when you’re with him, you’re thinking about me; it helps me to deal with it.
“Baby, I need for you to think about this. If you need some time to reconsider then take it but don’t give up on us,” Ted pleaded, trying to convince her to stay.
“I have given it some thought. In fact, that’s all I seem to think about. I feel as if I’m going crazy. I’m tired of the roller coaster ride, baby. I have to get off. If we are meant to be together, we will find each other again. I love you, Ted. Goodbye,” she sobbed as she left the hotel room, tears streaming from her eyes.
Ted sat in shock. He could not believe that it was over between them. He didn’t know what to do next. He wanted to go after her but he could not move. He sat on the sofa, rubbed his face and stared at the ceiling. He already started to feel lost and alone and she had only been gone for a few minutes.
He was unsure what had just happened. One minute he and his lady were enjoying each other and the next they were no longer going to be together. He couldn’t lose her again. She had come to be a part of his life that he relied on and now she was gone.
Kristie wept uncontrollably as she sat in her car in the hotel parking lot. She knew she could not go home in this condition so she tried to compose herself. She really loved Ted but she knew they could not continue like that.
Simply Complicated Page 27