by C. B. Hunt
“This will be your one and only instruction regarding corner time, young lady. It’s a time for reflection, not a temper tantrum. If sent here, you are to stand with your hands behind your back and your nose to the wall without making a sound. If you are sent here either before or after a spanking, you will be standing bare-bottomed.”
“No!” I was mortified.
“If you don’t like that rule, then I suggest you avoid talking back to me. That will always put you in this place. Now face the wall, otherwise you will still be here when Les arrives, and then I will leave it to you to explain your position to him.”
As he walked away, all I felt at first was anger. The feeling turned to sorrow as I remembered how we had bonded that day and the pride that I had seen in his eyes. Had I blown it already? Was I capable of facing my fear and submitting myself to him in the way that he wanted?
He called me to his side in about five minutes. I confess, it wasn’t very long in the big scheme of things, but when it came to having to stand, it felt like forever. Plus, my hand was throbbing. I opened my mouth as he popped my medicine into it and allowed him to hold the glass of water to my lips to drink. Without a word, he took my uninjured hand and led me into the living room and pulled me to sit on his lap and held me to his chest.
“I don’t like disciplining you, even if it’s corner time, but I will. I’m taking this slowly, but you’re going to push me if you aren’t careful and leave me with no choice.”
“I’m sorry.” I tucked my head under his chin. “Please don’t be mad at me.”
“I’m not angry, honey. As I told you before, when you get mouthy and defy me, I view it as a test of trust. I’ll prove myself to you, but you might not like it. I’m just warning you.”
“I don’t mean to act out like that, but I just start seeing red and can’t control myself.”
“You can control yourself, but you haven’t learned how. I will teach you. When Les gets here, if he says anything that gets you upset, force yourself to smile and just say ‘okay.’ Walk away if you need to, but don’t argue back.”
“You want me to agree with him? Are you nuts?”
“Listen to me. By agreeing with him, he loses the fuel that fans his fire. Give me a hug, baby. A real hug.”
I shifted to wrap my arms around his neck and then spontaneously moved to straddle his waist so I could have full body contact. It felt so safe. I wished that I could have remained in that place forever. He made me feel so small and delicate, and I liked it.
By the time Les arrived, the pizza was in the oven, salad was ready, and I was dressed in my oversized t-shirt, shorts, and rainbow toe socks, and sitting in front of the big TV in the living room.
“I brought some of the nasty mandarin orange juice that Bree likes,” I heard Les say from the kitchen.
“That was very nice of you. Thanks,” Ray answered. “How about you open up a can and bring it to her? I know that hand is bothering her.”
“Is there anything you need help with?”
“Just taking care of the monster. Her hair looks like a rat’s nest, so if you have any skill in brushing, it might spare us both from listening to her whine when I brush it.”
What was he up to? He was gentle when he brushed my hair. I was scowling when Les came in and handed me the juice complete with a straw.
“Ray wants me to brush your hair.”
“I heard. I told you that he had a bug up his butt about us getting along,” I whispered.
“Let’s play along, and maybe he’ll stop breathing down our necks and lay off. Where’s your brush?”
“On my dresser. If you pull my hair, I swear that I’ll hurt you with my other hand.”
“Don’t be a baby. Where are your hair things? I’ll put it up in gorilla grips.”
“Like hell you will!” I snapped. Gorilla grips were high ponytails that the local prostitutes wore for their sex play.
“Breanna!”
“He must have bionic ears,” I muttered. “Yes, Ray?”
“That was your last warning about your mouth. Les, this goes for you too. No more swearing.”
“Yes, Sir,” Les called back as he departed for my quarters. When he returned, he sat on the couch and pushed me on the floor between his legs to brush my hair. “What has gotten into him?”
“I don’t know. He’s suddenly become overly paternal and is driving me crazy.”
“Can you blame him after the other night? You even scared me.”
“I did?”
His hands were amazingly gentle as he brushed my hair into the ponytails. “You were completely passed out by the time I arrived at the club. Anyone could have done anything they wanted to you, and there was nothing you could have done to protect yourself. You wouldn’t even have known who had hurt you. They could have left you anywhere, too.”
I leaned back against his knees. “You don’t hate me as much as you act like you do, do you?”
“I don’t hate you. I just think you’re a spoiled brat who is used to having everything handed to you whenever you want it.”
I pulled away, stood up, and stared at him. “You know nothing about me,” I said, suddenly bursting into tears. I shoved Ray out of the way and ran back to my apartment, slamming the door and locking it behind me.
Les had no idea how much his words hurt. He had never taken the time to know anything about me, knew nothing about my past, the abuse, or the struggle to protect myself from people who were just like him. Ray knocked on the door and asked to be allowed in.
“Go away.”
“No. I want you to come out and speak up for yourself. Find your voice, honey. It’s the only way you’re going to grow your confidence.”
“I can’t take it anymore. I want to … to …”
“You aren’t going to do anything except open this door.” His voice was firm and commanding.
“Bree?” Les’ voice joined him. “Hey, chick, I didn’t mean to make you cry. Damn, I didn’t think you knew how. I’m sorry. Please come out.”
It was true—I had never cried in front of him. In fact, I had never cried in front of anyone except for Ray. “You know nothing about me or what I’ve been through. You had no right to make that statement.”
“Then tell me. I can be a real asshole sometimes and don’t even know it unless I’m told. Give me a chance. Please.”
Reluctantly, I unlocked the door and found myself being sucked into a hard embrace. “I’m sorry, kid,” Les said. He looked at Ray. “I didn’t mean to make her cry.”
“Let’s go back into the house. I have a feeling that the two of you have more in common than you care to admit.”
He was right. Like me, Les was raised in an abusive environment. With him, he had to choose either the service or jail and had been involved in gang activity since he was a boy. He had lost his father and a brother to drugs and street violence and protected himself by putting up a hard, uncaring exterior. Ray had chosen him as his driver because of his past; not because he was an excellent bodyguard, but because the young man deserved a chance to do something that proved he could be trusted. With that trust, he grew in confidence.
After hearing his story, I carefully shared mine. I didn’t realize it, but I was inching closer to Ray with every word until I was safely pressed next to him. When I had finished, Les touched my knee.
“Please accept my apology. I promise that I’m going to be the best brother to you that I can be if that’s okay.”
“That means that he’s going to be helping me keep an eye out for you and make sure you’re safe,” Ray added. “If he sees you doing anything self-destructive, he will do whatever he needs to stop you. Once you’re safe, he is to tell me immediately.”
“I feel like I’m being ganged up on.”
“You are, but in a good way,” Ray said with a grin. “Let’s get the movie started and eat. I’m starving.”
The evening ended with me stretched out on the couch with my head on Ray’s lap and fe
et tucked under Les’ thighs. I felt myself dozing when Ray’s warm arms gathered me up.
“Let’s get you to bed, baby.”
“I’m not tired,” I mumbled into his neck.
“Then just close your eyes and rest when I put you down. Deal?”
“Okay, Daddy,” It came out so naturally that I didn’t realize I had said it in front of our driver.
Chapter 4
Life was status quo for the next couple of weeks. Les and I were getting along as well as to be expected, my hand healed, and I settled into a normal routine living next door to Ray. There were pros and cons to the arrangement.
Pro: He was always up before me and had coffee ready.
Con: He convinced himself that he gained a running partner. I hate running. Period. So we compromised—he went out for a run, and I stayed home. That was accomplished after I made the run so painfully slow that it might as well have been a casual walk.
Pro: Ray was an excellent cook and made dinner nearly every night.
Con: I had to clean up after dinner, and he made a mess.
Pro: As predicted, the convenience of being readily available to discuss upcoming meetings over a bowl of popcorn was much more comfortable than sitting in his office. Ray was also much more pleasant when we were called in on the 0300 message retrievals.
Con: Being readily available to discuss upcoming meetings meant more discussion about the upcoming meetings. I finally started to ‘accidentally’ leave my files in the safe at the office just to give my brain a break. I think he caught the hint when he saw me lock the files away on a Friday afternoon and ignore his reminder to bring them home.
The time finally came for my first off-island trip with Ray, and I was so excited! We were going to Korea for a one day meet and greet and then spending the weekend in Seoul. While on the plane, Les warned me ahead of time about the uber spicy kimchi and other ‘inedible’ items Ray would push at me, but I didn’t want to be influenced and called Les a pussy. The ensuing argument was predictable but was quickly silenced as Ray came up from behind our seats and gripped the back of both of our necks with his strong hands. He leaned between us and whispered to behave ourselves ‘or else.’ Les responded properly, but I just crossed by arms and pouted.
A car met us at the flight deck and took us to the BOQ where we were going to stay the night. It was clear that Ray was already annoyed with us.
“If you don’t want to sit through the meeting, you two can hang out here or grab a cab and go into town. Just be back by 1700.”
“That’s 5:00,” Les whispered in my ear.
“I know what time it is, dumbass.” I slapped his arm.
“I heard that. No fighting. I expect both of you to be on your best behavior. Breanna, you are to stick to Les’ side like glue, hear me? The Koreans judge the Corps by each of our actions, so I expect perfection from you. I don’t want any problems, hear me?”
“Why are you looking at me? I know how to behave myself.” I scowled.
“Because you, my girl, are also the one who knows how to find trouble. Watch her like a hawk, Sergeant. Let me know if she does anything I wouldn’t approve of.”
“It’s so not fair,” I grumbled after Ray left us. “It’s not funny, either. He treats me like I’m a little kid.”
“You are a little kid to him. Besides, since the night you called him ‘daddy,’ he adopted you.”
“Will you let that go already? I was on drugs and emotionally distraught.”
“It was cute. I think he liked it. I even like it when you call me your big brother.”
“You’re shitting me.”
“Not at all. Like I said, it’s cute, and it gives me a good reason to pester you.”
“That pestering is going to get me into some serious trouble one of these days.”
“Yeah, right. Everyone knows that you’re the general’s little princess and are allowed to get away with murder.”
“I am not!”
“Maybe not everything. I know he jumps on you for swearing, so now I have something to tell him.”
“Don’t you dare, you jerk.”
He tugged my braid. Ray had permitted us to dress in civilian clothes which meant I could keep my hair down. “Let’s go into town. We don’t have a lot of time, but we can at least look around.”
The order to stick to Les ‘like glue’ was not one that I remembered once surrounded by the sights and sounds of the little village by the ocean. There were so many things to see, and when Les let go of my hand, I disappeared from his sight in a matter of seconds. I was so engrossed in my exploration that I completely lost track of time. A glance at my watch indicated that we had less than twenty minutes to be back at base and I panicked. One thing Ray had zero tolerance for was tardiness—he considered it the ultimate form of disrespect—so being late would not fare well for either of us.
Being only 5 feet tall, it was difficult to look over the stands to find Les, so I wandered to the open forum and tried to orientate myself. The minutes ticked by and I kept walking, asking for directions to the base and receiving broken answers and pointed fingers. I was already over an hour late when I finally found the line-up of cabs. I was dropped off at the front gate and pointed in the direction of the BOQ. By the time I arrived at my room, it was nearly seven, and I was met by a very worried, and equally angry, general.
“Are you okay? I looked everywhere for you! Where did you go?” Les asked. His face was pale, and he had been sweating. I suspected that he had been getting his ear chewed since he arrived without me at his side.
“I’m sorry. I got lost in the market and couldn’t find the cabs. Everyone kept pointing me in the wrong direction.”
“I told Les to keep an eye on you. What part of sticking to his side didn’t you understand?” Ray asked, his mouth set in a grim line.
“It was all my fault. I wondered off. I’m sorry.”
“Les, go down and grab some chow. I want to have a little talk with our prodigal young lady in private. We’re leaving for Seoul tomorrow morning right after chow, so we’ll see you then.”
“Yes, Sir. Night.” He left the room faster than I could take a breath.
“I’m pissed,” Ray said, his hands on his hips. “Do you have any idea how worried I was?”
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to get lost.”
“Did you do what I told you?” I faced the floor and shook my head. He cleared his throat. “I can’t hear you. Speak up, young lady.”
“No, Sir.”
“Come with me,” he ordered, holding his hand out. He led me into the sleeping portion of the apartment, closed the door behind him, and pointed to the bed. “Sit.”
Pacing back and forth in front of me, his posture demonstrated that he was doing his best to get his temper under control. After about five minutes of silence, he stopped and looked at me.
“I’m very disappointed with you right now.”
“I know.”
“How does that make you feel?”
“Bad. I didn’t do it on purpose.” My voice seemed to become weaker with every word. I wasn’t afraid of him. Quite the contrary, I was feeling very contrite. I wished he would just yell at me already, but LtGen Ray Goodwin never raised his voice unless he was laughing.
“You deliberately disobeyed me. So yes, you did do it on purpose.”
“I meant that I didn’t get lost on purpose.”
“I think it’s time that you realize how serious I am about our relationship. There is no better time than now to tell you what I expect during discipline.”
“What?” I couldn’t breathe.
“I will not be chasing you. You will do as I tell you and do it quickly; otherwise, the session will become more intense. I will stop when I feel you have learned your lesson and not a minute before. There are no safe words, however, if you start panicking because of something psychological, you need to tell me. Are we clear so far?”
“You can’t be serious.”
&nbs
p; “We already established that I am as serious as a heart attack. Stand up and unzip your jeans.”
“No! You can’t do this.” My hands started to shake.
“Children do not tell their daddy’s what they can and cannot do. I am in charge, not you. Unzip your jeans.”
I couldn’t feel my fingers as I numbly obeyed him. I wanted to run. Bile rose in my throat as images of my biological father’s fist striking my body began to fill my head, and I started to tremble uncontrollably. Ray placed his large hands on either side of my face. He must have sensed my fear, particularly since he knew of the prior abuse.
“Look at me. I would never harm you nor would I ever strike you anywhere other than on your backside with the purpose of teaching you a lesson for your well-being. I said to look at me,” he repeated as my eyes drifted downward. His voice softened and his blue eyes locked with mine. “Who am I behind closed doors?”
“Daddy,” I murmured. There was no other answer. I felt it in my heart and couldn’t deny it. He had my head in the space that it needed to be and nothing else mattered.
“Will Daddy ever harm you?”
“No.”
“Do you believe that?”
“I want to.” My lower lip began to quiver. I was terrified that I would be disappointed if I allowed him to step into a role of a full disciplinarian. It was hard to gather these conflicting thoughts in my head, but innately, I knew that if he failed to take me to a place of true repentance and submission, then I would lose respect for him as that authority figure I needed him to be. He had to be strong—much stronger than me—and show that strength by gaining my submission. Yet, I was equally afraid of releasing what was left of my control, even to him.
His confidence was as reassuring as it was frightening. “Now is the time to learn to trust.” Taking my wrist, he pulled me across his lap and skimmed my jeans down to my thighs. The position made me feel so vulnerable and exposed, even with my panties in place. The feel of his warm hand on my upper thighs was consoling, but that disappeared the second my panties were pulled down, and my bare backside was exposed to his view.
“No!”