by C. B. Hunt
It took a long time for me to build up the courage to finally rid my life of him. I pulled my life together and met John. I brought him to meet you today and know that you’d like him. He’s just like you, not much of a Daddy Dom (although he does try), but a wonderful, loving, caring, and protective man (who lets me swear, by the way!). And yes, I give him as much of a hard time as I did you. After all, the legacy must go on, right?
You taught me so much about myself and my life and gave me a foundation that I’ve clung to since that last day. I still have your stars and the sapphire that you bought for me, and both bring back the memories of how incredible you were to such a hurting little child who only wanted to be loved and accepted.
I’m a pediatric hospice/special needs nurse and a therapist now, and also work with the VA in domestic violence where I get to help others who are hurting and pay it forward as I have promised. My books share the things that you have taught me with thousands of readers. This letter is the final piece of a book that I wrote about us, and one that I hope will help someone out there feel a little less alone. I’m going to give the earnings to a charity which helps victims of domestic violence. I know it’s what you would have wanted.
Again, I’m sorry that I couldn’t tell you the truth. I know that you forgive me; you’re still my daddy; in my mind, heart, soul, and spirit and you always will be. You’ve never left me, and all this time you’ve been gone, you still watched over me from heaven and just waited for me to call for your help. With this book, one I am calling The General’s Little Angel (no snorting, now), I’m now able to fulfill all the promises I made to you. It’s freed that little girl inside of me to be happy again. I love you, Daddy, and will be back to see you again very soon.
Your Angel Forever—crooked halo and all,
Bree
Resources
NATIONAL COALITION AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Excepts/reference from NCADV (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence)
Facts about Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse
HOW DO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT INTERSECT?
Perpetrators who are physically violent toward their intimate partners are often sexually abusive as well. Victims who are both physically and sexually abused are more likely to be injured or killed than victims who experience one form of abuse. Abusers assault people of all genders, races, ages, social classes, and ethnicities. Women who are disabled, pregnant, or attempting to leave their abusers are at greatest risk for intimate partner rape.
MARITAL RAPE:
1 in 5 women will be raped in her lifetime.
Nearly 1 in 2 women and 1 in 5 men experienced sexual violence victimization other than rape at some point in their lives.
Intimate partner sexual assault and rape are used to intimidate, control, and demean victims of domestic violence.
Intimate partner sexual assault is more likely than stranger or acquaintance assault to cause physical injury.
14%-25% of women are sexually assaulted by intimate partners during their relationship.
Between 40 and 45 percent of women in abusive relationships will also be sexually assaulted during the course of the relationship.
Over half of women raped by an intimate partner were sexually assaulted multiple times by the same partner.
Women who are sexually abused by intimate partners report more risk factors for intimate partner homicides than non-sexually abused women.
Women who are sexually abused by intimate partners suffer severe and long-lasting physical and mental health problems, similar to those of other rape victims. They have higher rates of depression and anxiety than women who were either raped by a non-intimate partner or physically abused, but not sexually abused by an intimate partner.
18 percent of female victims of spousal rape say their children witnessed the crime.
Between 10 and 14 percent of married women will be raped at some point during their marriages.
Only 36 percent of all rape victims ever report the crime to the police. The percentage of married women who report a spousal rape to the police is even lower. Marital rape is the most underreported form of sexual assault.
Until 1976, state laws specifically exempted spousal rape from general rape laws. In 1976, Nebraska was the first state to legally recognize nonconsensual intercourse with a spouse as rape. By 1993, all 50 states had either completely or partially repealed their spousal rape exemptions. However, even now, some states still have some form of spousal rape exemptions, and it is often legally considered a different, lesser crime than non-spousal rape.
Many Americans do not believe marital rape is actually rape.
WHAT IS INTIMATE PARTNER PHYSICAL ABUSE?
Physical abuse includes the physical assault, battery, and sexual assault used as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. Physical abuse can cause severe injury and even death. It often cooccurs with other forms of abuse, including psychological abuse, economic abuse, and stalking.
INTIMATE PARTNER PHYSICAL ABUSE:
More than 10 million Americans are victims of physical violence annually.
20 people are victims of physical violence every minute in the United States.
1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men is a victim of some form of physical violence by an intimate partner during their lifetimes.
76% of intimate partner physical violence victims are female; 24% are male.
1 in 7 women and 1 in 18 men are severely injured by intimate partners in their lifetimes.
Domestic violence accounts for 15% of all violent crime in the United States.
Domestic violence is most common among women aged 18-24 and 25-34.
A majority of physical abuse is committed by dating partners rather than spouses.
More than 75% of women aged 18-49 who are abused were previously abused by the same perpetrator.
Slightly more than half of intimate partner physical violence is reported to law enforcement.
Intimate partner physical abuse is not bound by age, socioeconomic status, race, ethnicity, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, religion or nationality; it exists in all communities. Contrary to popular belief, physical abuse is not simply a maladjusted person’s occasional expression of frustration or anger, nor is it typically an isolated incident. Physical abuse is a tool of control and oppression and is a choice made by one person in a relationship to control another.
If you need help:
Call The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) Or, online go to DomesticShelters.org
Suggested citation: NCADV. (2015). Facts about domestic violence and physical abuse. Retrieved from www.ncadv.org
NAMI
(National Association for Mental Illness)
https://www.nami.org/#
Self-harm
People often keep their habit a secret, but the urge to self-harm isn’t uncommon, especially in adolescents and young adults. Many overcome it with treatment. Whether a person has recently started hurting his or herself or has been doing it for a while, there is an opportunity to improve health and reduce behaviors. Talking to a doctor or a trusted friend or family member is the first step towards understanding your behavior and finding relief.
What is Self-harm?
Self-harm or self-injury means hurting yourself on purpose. One common method is cutting yourself with a knife. But any time someone deliberately hurts herself is classified as self-harm. Some people feel an impulse to burn themselves, pull out hair or pick at wounds to prevent healing. Extreme injuries can result in broken bones. Hurting yourself—or thinking about hurting yourself—is a sign of emotional distress. These uncomfortable emotions may grow more intense if a person continues to use self-harm as a coping mechanism. Learning other ways to tolerate the mental pain will make you stronger in the long term.
Self-harm also causes feelings of shame. The scars caused by frequent cutting or burning can be permanent. Drinking alcohol or
doing drugs while hurting yourself increases the risk of a more severe injury than intended. And it takes time and energy away from other things you value. Skipping classes to change bandages or avoiding social occasions to prevent people from seeing your scars is a sign that your habit is negatively affecting work and relationships.
Why People Self-harm
Self-harm is not a mental illness, but a behavior that indicates a lack of coping skills..
Self-harm occurs most often during the teenage and young adult years, though it can also happen later in life. Those at the most risk are people who have experienced trauma, neglect or abuse. For instance, if a person grew up in an unstable family, it might have become a coping mechanism. If a person binge drinks or does drugs, he is also at greater risk of self-injury, because alcohol and drugs lower self-control.
The urge to hurt yourself may start with overwhelming anger, frustration or pain. When a person is not sure how to deal with emotions, or learned as a child to hide emotions, self-harm may feel like a release. Sometimes, injuring yourself stimulates the body’s endorphins or pain-killing hormones, thus raising their mood. Or if a person doesn’t feel many emotions, he might cause himself pain in order to feel something “real” to replace emotional numbness.
Once a person injures herself, she may experience shame and guilt. If the shame leads to intense negative feelings, that person may hurt herself again. The behavior can thus become a dangerous cycle and a long-time habit. Some people even create rituals around it.
Self-harm isn’t the same as attempting suicide. However, it is a symptom of emotional pain that should be taken seriously. If someone is hurting herself, she may be at an increased risk of feeling suicidal. It’s important to find treatment for the underlying emotions.
What to Do When Someone Self-harms
Perhaps you have noticed a friend or family member with frequent bruises or bandages. If someone is wearing long sleeves and pants even in hot weather, they may be trying to hide injuries or scarring.
Keep in mind that this is a behavior that might be part of a larger condition and there may be additional signs of emotional distress. He or she might make statements that sound hopeless or worthless, have poor impulse control, or have difficulty getting along with others.
https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-Conditions/Related-Conditions/Self-harm#sthash.qEoSbGAM.dpuf
NAMI HelpLine
Have a question? Someone else may have already asked it. Check out our list of frequently asked questions.
1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or [email protected]
The NAMI HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 am–6 pm, ET.
https://www.nami.org/Find-Support/NAMI-HelpLine#crisis
Justice for Liberty
Breaking Chains ©
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing (Edmund Burkes)
***
Can a book of fiction show the truth of heart wrenching life situations and poor choices and serve a purpose beyond entertainment? Our hope is that each work offered under the Breaking Chains© series will not only present a current, realistic and well-researched view of real-life situations endured by those around us, but will also provide a HEA (Happily Ever After) to leave both the victims and the reader with a sense of hope. All proceeds from the first month sales will be donated to a charity represented in/by the work.
***
JUSTICE FOR LIBERTY
Thank you to all the men and women from Holding Out Help (http://holdingouthelp.org) who personally shared stories with me about their lives in the polygamous FLDS compounds run by the international criminal, Warren Jeffs. After being charged with sexual molestation of minors, both male and female, and being found guilty of illegally marrying and impregnating underage girls, Warren Jeffs eluded the authorities and was placed on the FBI Most Wanted List. He was captured during a routine traffic stop and is presently serving a life sentence, plus twenty years, for two felony counts of child sexual assault. At the time of this publication, the Federal Bureau of Investigation is offering a $50,000 reward for information leading to the capture of Utah-based polygamous faith leader Lyle Jeffs who escaped from home confinement ahead of his trial over food stamp fraud.
The sect is based in the twin cities of Hildale, Utah, and Colorado City, Arizona. It is an offshoot of the Salt Lake City-based mainstream Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, which renounced polygamy in 1890 and has no affiliation with the FLDS. The events of Warren Jeffs and the FLDS associations are of public/legal knowledge and all references used for research are listed at the end of this book.
The characters named in this work, other than the public figures listed above, are fictitious as is our heroine’s origin. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. As promised to the men and women of Holding Out Help, Liberty gets her Happily-Ever-After in the truest sense of justice.
Chapter 1
Collapsing behind a scraggly tree, she tried to catch her breath as she listened for the sounds of sirens announcing the escape. Her legs burned after running for miles along the edge of the deserted highway, yet the harder she ran, the further away she seemed from reaching the Nevada border. That imaginary line was a symbol of safety and freedom, if it truly existed. Did it matter anyway? She couldn’t survive life in the compound any longer and would either escape the horrors or die trying.
The expression of being darkest before the dawn was not a misnomer. The air was bone-chilling in the hours before the rising of the morning sun—a giant ball of fire that would quickly shift to a scorching furnace of the southern Idaho summer. Attempting to moisten her parched lips with a tongue that felt like leather in her mouth, Liberty frantically tried to plan her next move. Dehydration, malnourishment, and exhaustion limited her ability to think, and her decisions were controlled by simple self-preservation. Her life depended on fleeing from the forced abusive marriage, vicious sister wives, and the indentured servitude to anyone within the compound who blindly obeyed all that the Prophet and his apostles demanded in the name of God.
She never had a choice.
Liberty was one of at least fifty children belonging to Merl Barlow, and the daughter of his seventh wife. Her father was one of the Prophet’s spokesmen in the new compound located close to the southern Idaho border. He proclaimed and enforced the rules and policies sent by letters and tape recordings from Warren Jeffs’ jail cell and honored the Prophet’s sacrifice by practicing the word of God as interpreted by the convicted felon.
Merl was a powerful man who ruled with intimidation and a balled fist, and lived with the belief that he was above the laws of decency. Appearance was vital to his success, so he demanded perfection and blind obedience from his wives and children.
From an early age, Liberty challenged these expectations. No amount of beatings lessened the degree of evil within her spirit as she incessantly questioned wrong doings to others and pointed out the contradictions between the words spoken and the actions performed. She was intelligent, read everything she was allowed to get her hands on, and never settled for the proverbial because I said so. Her latest sin against her father was the open protest of the assigned marriage of her younger full blooded sister, a pretty thirteen-year-old who had caught the eye of one of Merl’s esteemed associates.
Roland Musser was wealthy, powerful, teetering on seventy years of age, and had been transferred from the Hildale compound to help run the new land of refuge. Rumors had it that one of his wives had taken her children and become an apostate, but one was careful not to repeat gossip when it involved the more powerful entities of the compounds. He had five living wives, having lost several others to unfortunate accidents, and at least forty known children. Unless she became an instant favorite, being a sixth wife in Roland’s family would mean being subjected to insufferable torment and unending abuse by the husband, the other wives, and the older children—and Liberty feared that her meek little sister would not
survive either physically or mentally.
Merl was furious with his daughter’s blatant defiance and the great shame and embarrassment that she brought to his household. In retribution, he declared that the younger sister would be spared but that Liberty would be married to the valued member of the community in her place. In turn, her future husband publicly vowed that the defiant girl would receive well and proper training to rid her of her wickedness, rebellion, and insolence and—with God’s help—turn her into a respectable and pious woman. The wedding was held that same day followed by forced consummation and the beginning of her training. Torn, bruised, and broken, the girl was abandoned on her wedding bed with the threat that she would face an unfortunate accident should she fail to please her new husband, the Prophet, and the Heavenly Father. Day and night she was ridiculed and taunted by the words of her new family. Her misery was the product of the sin of rebellion, and God would not bless her with children until she repented and learned how to serve in complete submission to her husband, the community, and her sister wives. Underfed, beaten, and overworked, she fell into the despair that had taken the sanity, and the lives, of too many others who had been in her position.
***
Liberty wrapped her arms around her knees and thought about her life. She no longer loved this God of whom the Prophet spoke. Instead, she was driven by fear and terror of what would be done should she be hunted down and returned to the compound. Cut off from her family and friends, rejected and despised by the community for her failures, she was filled with hopelessness and self-loathing. She was foolish to believe that a better life awaited her in Nevada, yet still, she ran. It was the only choice she had left.