“I have to ask you something,” I say.
“Anything,” he says, kissing my collarbone. “Just talk while I keep doing this.”
Gatsby pushes hair off my neck.
“No, c’mon. This is serious. Please.” I pull away and pick up the towel off the floor.
“Okay, okay.” He folds his arms across his chest. “What? What’s so important?”
I have to wrap myself in the towel before asking him. I have never been totally comfortable with my own nudity. Plus, I need to buy myself some time. This is very difficult to say. I can’t find the words. I don’t really know what I heard, but I know it’s not good. I know that it’s something that Gatsby should know about. Yet I am conflicted.
Things have just started to get better between them. When we first arrived, Gatsby didn’t even acknowledge that he had brothers. And then today, everything changed. I saw him not just admit that they exist but actually have fun with them. I saw him laughing with Atticus, reminiscing about their childhood.
Given my own experience with my sisters, I don’t want to take that away from him. I want to just pretend that everything is okay. I want them to remain brothers. Even more than that, I want them to remain friends.
But am I willing to lie for Atticus to do this? No, I can’t. My allegiance lies with Gatsby. Atticus didn’t ask me to. And I don’t even know what it is that I am lying about.
I have to choose my words carefully.
“I was just wondering…” I start.
He waits for me to finish. I can’t find the words. I don’t know how to ask about something that I’m not supposed to know anything about. I don’t want to alarm him if it’s really nothing. If this just has to do with Atticus and not the company.
“I was just wondering why Atticus is so worried about the IPO.”
Gatsby gives off a sigh of relief. “Oh, Christ, Annabelle. I thought you were going to say that you wanted to leave or something. Don’t scare me like that!”
He is relieved too soon, but I just nod and wait for his reply.
“Because we’re all going to get really rich after it goes through.”
“Okay.” I nod. That doesn’t really explain anything.
“Well, everyone but him, I guess,” Gatsby adds as an afterthought. I don’t trust my ears. I am not sure if I heard that correctly.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, technically, Atticus won’t be getting any money from the deal. All of his shares are held in a trust.”
That’s when I realize that what I heard was really bad. Atticus has some plan to get money that’s not his, and that’s why he has to wait for the IPO. Something’s wrong. I tell Gatsby everything. Every last part of the conversation that I over heard Atticus have over the phone. And I remember every detail.
* * *
“No, that can’t be right.” Gatsby shakes his head after I stop talking. “There must be some explanation.”
I shrug. I don’t know anything except what I heard.
“I’m going to go talk to him,” he says. I start to get up and get dressed, but he stops me. “Wait here, okay?”
“No, I want to come.”
“This is private, Annabelle. I need to speak to him in private.”
I’m about to protest again, but then there’s a knock at the door.
* * *
It’s Atticus.
* * *
“Stay here,” Gatsby orders me. I roll my eyes and cross my hands. I can’t believe that he is talking to me like this.
“Please?” he gives me a quick kiss. “Please, I just need to talk to him in private. Brother to brother.”
“Okay,” I give in. I appreciate his kind words. I give him his space.
I am left alone in the bedroom. I pick out a pair of jeans, a tank top, and a light sweater that the concierge brought over for me. Then I pick up my phone. I check my email and then mindlessly scan through the books on my Kindle app. Hundreds of different thoughts swirl through my head, and I need to make them stop. I need to focus on something else, but it’s not working.
“Annabelle, can you come here a moment?” Gatsby walks back into the room.
I shake my head, no, no, no.
“What are you doing? What I said to you I said in confidence!” I whisper.
“I know, but I have to get this out in the open. It sounds like it was some sort of misunderstanding.”
“It wasn’t a misunderstanding!”
“Well, that’s why I want you to come out here and talk to Atticus.”
I can’t believe he’s making me do this. This is so unfair.
“Hi, Atticus.” I nod and stand slightly behind Gatsby. I can’t confront him. I don’t want to. This isn’t my business.
“Annabelle, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that you overheard my conversation earlier today.”
“I’m sorry, too.” I shake my head at Gatsby. He has betrayed me!
“I’m sorry Gatsby has dragged you into this. It’s really embarrassing.”
“For me, too,” I add.
“The thing is that what you heard, it’s nothing big. I just owe people a little money. That’s it. It all has to do with this fantasy football thing I’m in.”
Atticus is smiling and nodding. His voice is high-pitched, and he’s the friendliest he’s ever been to me. It’s all an act, but Gatsby doesn’t see it.
“But what about what you said, that you’ll only be able to pay your debt after the IPO goes through?” I say. I don’t want to be confrontational. I shouldn’t even be here. But I can’t just let him cover this up so easily. I can’t let him get away with this, whatever this is.
“Oh, that?” He smiles and hesitates. I can see that he’s trying to buy himself some time. I look at Gatsby, who is anxiously waiting for his reply. “That was just something I was telling him. I do owe him some money, but I’m pretending that I don’t have it. So I was just trying to put him off for a few weeks. So I made up the IPO thing.”
I nod.
“Well, you see.” Gatsby smiles. “It’s nothing.”
“Yeah, it’s nothing. I’m just sorry you two got all messed up in this. I really should keep my private phone calls private.”
Gatsby laughs along with Atticus. I barely crack a smile. I can’t stand what he is doing, how manipulative he’s being, but I need to be alone with Gatsby to tell him this. I can’t call him out on this now. Besides, there’s nothing really to call out. I don’t have any proof.
Chapter 25
I go back to the bedroom while Gatsby and Atticus share a drink. When Gatsby comes back to the room, I’m already in bed. I can see the relief that’s painted all across his face. I hate to be the one to crush it. But I have to tell him the truth.
“Well, I’m glad that got all figured out.” He smiles and gets into bed with me. “You really scared me for a moment.”
I stare at him.
“I’m not sure it is,” I say. Again, choosing my words carefully. I don’t want to offend, but I can’t let it go.
“What are you talking about? Didn’t you hear Atticus?”
“Yes, I heard his explanation. But I also know what I heard and saw. It isn’t just a small debt. He was seriously freaking out on the phone, Gatsby. You have to believe me.”
“I do believe you, Annabelle. I just think you’re confused. He was just acting.”
“Why? Why would he act?”
“To get that guy to give him some more time. I don’t know. Atticus is a man of large appetites. He likes to gamble. He likes to bet on horses. He spends a lot.”
“Exactly my point,” I say.
“But this is just another example of that. It’s nothing more. So he owes someone some money in fantasy football. So what? Why is this my problem?”
“Gatsby—”
“Or better yet,” Gatsby cuts me off. “Why is this your problem, Annabelle??”
I don’t say anything. I wait for him to explain. I hate the tone of his voice
and the way that he’s towering over me. Trying to intimidate me.
“It’s not…” I whisper.
“Exactly. It’s not. You just met him last night. Until yesterday, you didn’t even know he existed. You don’t know anything about him.”
“But I know what I heard.”
“No, I don’t think you do. I’m sure you just misheard something,” Gatsby insists. His voice gets tamer now. He’s not so threatening. Trying to make peace. Perhaps, I should let it go. Maybe, he’s right.
“I know what I heard. This is serious. He’s lying, Gatsby.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Neither do you,” I insist. “Yesterday, you acted as if he didn’t exist. As if you didn’t have a brother. And after a day of skydiving suddenly you’re what, best friends?”
He gets off the bed and paces around the room.
“You’re the one who wanted that, remember?” he bellows.
“Listen.” I get up. I walk close to him and wrap my arms around him. “We’re getting off track. It’s not about you and your brother, not really. I want you to have a relationship with him. A happy one. You have no idea how much I want that.”
I kiss him on the lips. Tears are starting to well up in my eyes. I want to push them away, but I can’t. I can’t see anymore, and I just turn my head away from him to wipe my tears. The crying isn’t just about him. It’s really about me. But I have to stay focused. I’m here to convince him of what I saw and what I heard.
“I want you to be friends, Gatsby. But I also know what I saw and what I heard him say. And how he said it. It wasn’t an act. Something is really wrong.”
“What? What’s wrong?” Gatsby rolls his eyes and folds his arms across his chest.
“You said that he’s not getting any money from the IPO. Why is that?”
“Because he’s been irresponsible before, and our father and he came to an arrangement. All of his shares go to his trust fund. But they’ll go to him eventually.”
My mind is racing. I’m trying to think of all the things that could be wrong. All the reasons why he would want the money. But I don’t know enough about finances. And I don’t know nearly enough about the Wild family.
“So why would Atticus want for the IPO to go through in order to pay off his debt?” I ask. It doesn’t make any sense.
“He wouldn’t! That’s the whole point, Annabelle!” Gatsby’s exasperated. “It’s just something he told the guy on the phone to buy some time to pay his debts.”
I shake my head. No, no, no. It makes sense, but it doesn’t. Something feels wrong.
“I don’t understand why you don’t believe me,” I finally say. “I was there when he was on the phone. And it wasn’t a lie. He was really scared. Really upset.”
“Annabelle, you have to drop this.” Gatsby’s face grows stern. All color banishes within a moment, and all that remains is the stranger I first saw in the pages of the gossip magazine.
“I can’t.” I shake my head.
“You have to!” Gatsby slams his hand on the desk startling me. “Dammit, Annabelle. You just met him. Yesterday! You think that makes you some sort of authority on him? On our family? You don’t know anything about us!”
I nod and look away. I am not getting through, and the more I push, the thicker the wall gets. I hate Atticus for doing this to us.
“What is it that you think you know about Atticus?” Gatsby continues. Now, he is ranting. I turn around and go to the living room. He follows me.
“You think you heard him curse someone on the phone, and that means you know everything there’s to know about him. Is that how you feel about me? You’re so fuckin’ judgmental, Annabelle.”
I hate the way he’s talking to me. I can’t stand it.
“No, I never said that!” I turn around to face him.
I will not stand for how he’s talking to me. I don’t mean to yell, but the words just come tumbling out.
“All I’ve been trying to convince you of is what I saw and heard. I don’t know what it means. But you know what hurts the most? I’m here. I’m standing here, trying to protect you. Because that’s all this is.”
“Well, I don’t need your fuckin’ protection!” Gatsby shouts across the room. “Who do you think you are, anyway? You’re not in any position to protect me. You don’t know anything about me!”
“I don’t need to know anything about you to protect you,” I shout back. His words are starting to make less and less sense. And mine are completely incomprehensible. All I want is for all of this to stop. I can’t stand the drama. The strife. I’m not this person. We’re not this couple. We’re not at a couple at all. Just two people on their first date. First date! Oh my god, I can’t believe it’s our first date.
I grab my bag and start gathering my things. I don’t have much. My phone. My iPad. My work clothes. Skirt. Blouse. Jacket. Panties. Maggie Mae’s high-heeled shoes. Can’t forget those.
“What are you doing?” Gatsby walks over.
“I’m leaving,” I say calmly. As far as I’m concerned, our fight is over.
“And where do you think you’re going?” he says mockingly.
I look up at him. Our eyes meet, and for a brief moment, I remember how nice it was to get lost in the blueness of his gaze. But then the moment passes, and I see the person who is staring back at me. A stranger.
“Home.”
The mocking expression on his face vanishes. He collects himself, and his face returns to its natural color.
“Okay,” he nods. “I’ll make the arrangements.”
I wait for him to call me a car to take me to his plane. I watch the way he moves as he talks on the phone, confident, self-assured, honest. More than anything, I wish for that person to return to me. He is there, within arm’s reach, but I just can’t go to him. I can’t apologize. I have nothing to feel sorry about. I can’t go back.
Chapter 26
My heart is breaking into a million pieces. It takes all the power within my body to hold back my tears. After we get out of the car, Gatsby walks me to the plane. I want to go by myself. I want him to leave so that I can cry in peace. But I say nothing.
There’s a moment when I think our hands will touch. My body pulls for him as if he were a magnet. I am about to run my fingertips over his hand. But he grabs the railing.
“What, you don’t think I can make it into the plane by myself?” I am angry. I’m not afraid to show it.
“I need to tell the pilot where you’re going,” he says nonchalantly.
Coldness is emanating from him. I hate this side of him. I hate all of him.
I drop my bag on the floor and take a seat. Less than twenty-four hours ago, we were both in this exact seat doing something else completely. I look out at the runaway at the empty pavement. He’s talking to the pilot, but I feel as if I’m all alone. As if no other soul exists in the world.
Gatsby walks towards me and sits in the recliner opposite from me. He looks me straight in the eyes. Sadness and disillusionment looking back at me.
“I’m sorry,” he finally says. “I’m sorry for raising my voice. I don’t know what came over me. I’m sorry for getting so mad. But most of all, I’m sorry that you’re leaving.”
Ask me to stay! Ask me to stay!
“I’m sorry too,” I say. “For everything.”
I want him to touch me. If we were just to touch again, everything would go back to normal. The chemistry between us would take over. But I can’t move. Something is holding me back. It’s as if my body is stuck to the seat. When I finally break free, he’s already walking down the runway.
Run out there after him! I scream to myself. Go! What’s stopping you? Don’t think. Just act!
But I remain motionless. My mind and my heart are fighting an epic battle within me, leaving me completely powerless.
Suddenly, I start to choke. Big fat tears start rolling down my face. I can’t catch my breath. My throat closes in.
I gasp for air, but no air enters.
My sobs are so loud. They echo off the walls of the plane. I bury my head in my knees and rock from side to side.
I cry for everything that I have lost. I cry for losing what we had and for what we could’ve had.
Regret is a dark storm cloud that swirls around me, turning everything black.
Slowly, my thick, all-consuming sobs turn into a stream of tears. My pangs of regret over Gatsby morph into other regrets.
I regret never telling him about my sisters and how much I love them despite everything that has happened.
I regret not telling him about my mother’s death and how much her passing affected me.
I regret not telling him how alone I feel all the time and how retreating into nature actually makes me feel less alone than when I’m with people.
I regret not telling him about my father leaving when I was young and how I act like it’s nothing, like everyone goes through that, and yet I hate him for it.
But mostly, I regret all of these regrets.
If only I knew that we would have so little time together, then I would’ve spent more of it being who I am. Showing him who I really am. The good, the bad, the ugly. It’s not like I want to show him the bad and the ugly, I just wish that he knew the deepest parts of me. Maybe then he would see me as…no, maybe then he would just see me for me.
I am more than his personal assistant. I am more than this girl with whom he has amazing sexual chemistry. I am layered, dimensional, and complicated. And now, all those parts of me seem lost or gone.
When the plane starts to taxi down the runway, the constant flow of tears slows down to a trickle. But then the plane stops. I look out the window.
Is it Gatsby? Is he stopping the plane so that he can get on and reverse this whole, horrible thing?
The plane makes its way back to the beginning of the runway.
My hopes soar.
Why would we be going back were it not for Gatsby? I didn’t ask them to return. It has to be him!
Auctioned to Him 4: His Addiction Page 34