Why do I do this?
I’m a sucker for a happily ever after. I believe everyone deserves one, and I can get it for them, if they just get out of their own way and let me.
How can I be so sure?
I have a great track record. I have successfully set up 3,988 couples. That’s more than 130 couples per year over 30 years of matchmaking. Not all of them were billionaires, but over the last five years a huge portion of them were. Close to four thousand couples now are living their happy ending because of me. It feels damn good to say that.
And then I made a mistake. I told my publisher friend about this, and she went wild.
“You have to write down some of your favorite stories, you absolutely must. People will go crazy over it!” she said.
So, that’s how we got here. This series depicts some of my favorite couples from the last few years. Their names have been changed to protect their privacy, but everything else is as true as it happened from my clients’ perspectives. Though each couple eventually found their happily ever after, the road to get there was often difficult and treacherous. But what would life be without a little intrigue and turmoil, right?
Chapter 1 - Logan
I wake up in the middle of my California king bed with a splitting headache and an aching groin. There are two women lying next to me, both dead asleep. They don’t look as gorgeous as they did last night at the club, but I’m used to women’s trickery and mystique when it comes to makeup. All those contouring tutorials on Youtube may confuse most men, but I’ve got three sisters. I know when a nose is made to look a little smaller, lips fuller, eyes larger. And that’s okay. Why not look more beautiful if you can? It’s pleasing to the eyes, even if it’s a little deceitful. But women aren’t the only liars. We all are. Men constantly lie about how much is really in their bank accounts by leasing cars that they have no business driving based on their paychecks. And why? To impress women, of course.
I’m lucky this way. I recently sold a small start-up that I founded after college to Google, and the sale officially made me a billionaire. The app allows people to make personal loans to their friends, family, and strangers just like banks and credit cards do and charge interest. It’s called BankMe, and whenever I mention the name people generally pretend to have heard of it, even though most of them haven’t. I don’t mind. It doesn’t really matter.
Threesomes are fun. I try to have a couple once or twice a month at least, because they keep me on my toes. Most men want to have two women at once, but I don’t want to be just a user. I want the women to have a good time and to enjoy themselves. So, it’s important for me to make sure that they do. Last night, however, I made a mistake. I make it a point to always fall asleep on one of the sides of the bed so that I can sneak out without waking anyone up. But last night, for some reason, I fell asleep in the middle. Now, I have to carefully climb out from beneath the blankets without waking either of them up.
I decide to go left, toward the ocean. The girl on the left is turned away from me. I carefully lift the sheet and slide out. Then I climb over her, making sure that I don’t pull the sheet too tight so I don’t risk waking her up. Just when I’m almost scot-free, she snores and turns around. I hold my breath and freeze. I’m draped over her on all fours, holding myself up by fingertips and tiptoes. Luckily, she doesn’t wake up. A moment later, I throw my legs over her and land silently on the floor.
All of this maneuvering is an absolute requirement. I hate morning conversations and make it a point to never talk to the women who sleep over. I’m not so rude as to make them leave in the middle of the night, but I also don’t hang around to make them breakfast. Instead, I go outside, grab my board and surf until Marilyn comes by at 8 a.m. to clean, make me breakfast and kick the girls out.
Marilyn is the longest relationship I’ve ever had with a woman who isn’t related to me. Marilyn is from El Salvador, and she has been with me since I lived in a one-bedroom apartment in West Hollywood. Even back then, when I made only $2000 a month and paid about $1300 in rent, I wasn’t much of a housekeeper and chose to spend $50 a week on her rather than getting out the vacuum cleaner and doing it myself. My oldest sister likes to say that even back then I was thinking rich. Maybe she’s right.
I stumble a little down the stairs on the side of my porch. I live in a 5,000 square foot, four-bedroom house on the beach in Malibu. After the deal with Google, I can afford to upgrade, of course, but this place is enough for me right now. I love it here. The beach is only a few steps away, and it’s in the quieter part of Malibu, away from the tourists and the paparazzi. The paparazzi usually don’t bother me (who cares about rich techies, right?), but I have been out with more than a few models and celebs and now they’re starting to get a little nosy.
I grab the pair of swimming trunks that I keep under my porch along with my board and change into them right there. This has become somewhat of a habit of mine – there’s no one out here this early, and I don’t think anyone can see me under my porch. Mainly, I change out here because I don’t really give a shit. I doubt that anyone will really complain about seeing my 6’1’’ tan body, my six-pack, which looks like it has been chiseled out of stone, or my large dick.
I grab my board and head toward the water. My head still feels like someone’s hitting it with an ax. I definitely had a little bit too much to drink last night. I think it was all because of Allison. Allison was the one sleeping on my right. The thing about threesomes is that usually one of the girls just isn’t as hot as the other one, and a part of you has to settle because two are frankly better than one. So that’s pretty much what I was expecting when Allison asked if I was interested in partying with her and her friend Samantha last night. But then I saw Samantha. Both of them are equally stunningly beautiful with light green eyes and full, soft lips. They both have infectious laughs, bubbly personalities without being bimbos, and high sex drives. The only thing that’s different about them is their hair color – one is light blonde and the other is a dark brunette. As soon as I saw them, I was in heaven, and that was even before they came over and did all those ungodly things to me and each other.
Still, no matter how hot the girls, I have rules for myself for a reason. I follow them religiously for a reason. Let them sleep over, but go surfing before they wake up. Let Marilyn wake them up and put them out. Marilyn is great at delivering early morning excuses and explanations about why I’m not there. He’s surfing now, and then he has an early meeting with clients, is her usual one. Today, she’ll have to be more creative. Allison knows that I’ve sold my company and don’t officially have a job or any clients to meet with anymore. I’m sure she’ll think of something.
I enter the freezing water. There are a few surfers out, and they’re wearing wetsuits, but I like the feel of the cold water on my bare skin. It’s refreshing and exhilarating. Mornings in Malibu tend to be overcast and a little dark, and the water is colder here than in the rest of Southern California. But I’ve been living here for close to two years now, and I’m pretty used to it.
When I dip my long yellow board into the first wave, my headache vanishes immediately. I ride the first wave all the way to the edge of the sand and then paddle back out into the blue. I ride another one and another one and another one, and each one makes me feel more alive than the one before.
I stay in the water for close to an hour. Then I shake my hair out before grabbing the board and walking back upstairs. This is one of the perks of having a house on the beach. Back when I lived in West Hollywood, I used to get up at the crack of dawn to beat the traffic, drive forty minutes, park and surf for forty-five minutes before heading back into the traffic and the grind of my life. The irony is that back then I had a job that I needed to get to and had to squeeze my surfing in before it. Now that I don’t have a job and actually have time to waste my life in LA traffic, I live right on the beach and don’t have to.
Chapter 2 - Logan
“Hey Marilyn,” I say walking into the kit
chen, dripping wet.
“Oh, Logan, you’re getting all the floors wet!” she exclaims and runs over with a towel. Marilyn is a small, round woman with curly hair who speaks in a thick Spanish accent.
“Sorry about that,” I say.
This is a game we play every morning. For some reason, Marilyn doesn’t believe me that the bamboo floors will be perfectly fine if they get a little wet, and I pretend that I’m actually sorry about it.
She has already made my smoothie, and it’s sitting at the end of the kitchen island. One thing I can tell you is that Marilyn was not happy when I insisted on having smoothies for breakfast. I don’t know if it has anything to do with being born and raised in El Salvador, or if it’s just a Marilyn thing, but for some reason she doesn’t approve of fruit being mashed up into tiny pieces.
“The fruit lose all of their nutrients when they’re processed like that,” she used to say. “You should eat them cut up, but not processed!”
To which I would smile and laugh and insist on it anyway, even if they no longer had the nutrients. Her response was a shake of the head and something that sounded like a curse to the devil in Spanish.
Luckily, both of us have begrudgingly agreed to disagree, and she no longer tries to convince me to have hot tamales for breakfast. Even though, those suckers are to die for. If you ever the chance to have one of Marilyn Abarca’s tamales, do not pass up the chance. You’ll think that you died and went to heaven.
“Delicious,” I say, taking generous gulps of the berry banana green tea smoothie. Even though she hates the idea of smoothies, Marilyn is the type of person who takes immense pride in her work, and since she must make smoothies, she makes the best fucking smoothies on the planet. Lucky for me!
“Thank you for asking the women to leave,” I say.
“Yeah, yeah,” she shakes her head. “Logan, you’re 30 years old. Rich. Handsome. Why do you need two women for a night? Why don’t you try to find one woman for the rest of your life?”
It’s funny. My mom asks me the same kind of questions, except that she doesn’t exactly know about the threesomes. Something about my mom asking me irritates the hell out of me. When Marilyn does it, I don’t really mind. I find it kind of humorous.
“How can I be just with one woman, Marilyn?” I ask, jokingly.
“Then you’ll have someone to take care of you. Cook for you. Clean for you,” Marilyn says, pushing a rag across the kitchen island, even though it’s already spotless.
“But I already have a woman who does that for me,” I say.
“Oh yeah? Who?”
“You, of course!” I wrap my arms around her soft, pudgy shoulders and give her a big squeeze.
“Oh, Logan, please!” she pushes me away. “I won’t be around forever, you know. I can find other clients, if that means you’ll finally get married.”
“Are you serious? You want me to get married so much that you’ll forgo the crazy salary that I pay you?”
She rolls her eyes and shakes her head.
“I told you it was a crazy salary,” she says, pointing her index finger in my face. “No normal housekeeper is paid this much.”
“Well, you’re not just a normal housekeeper,” I shrug. “Not everyone will kick women out of my bed in the morning in such a nice and delicate way that they’ll actually come back to me for more.”
Marilyn rolls her eyes again and laughs. A big, infectious laugh, the kind that makes the whole world light up.
“You crazy, Logan,” she says.
“You know you love me!” I joke. “But seriously, what do you think of Allison?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“C’mon, please?” I give her kiss on the cheek. She blushes and pushes me away. I know I make her uncomfortable, but in a good way. I think of her as an old, wise aunt, and I really do appreciate her input in my life. Even if I rarely follow it.
“Allison is nice, of course. They’re all nice. And they’re all in love with you. But you know that already,” Marilyn says sprinkling some baking soda on the stove. She insists on using only natural cleaners, even if they require her to do more work.
“Yes, I do,” I say, winking at her.
I’m almost entirely air dried by now, and I head toward the master bedroom to take quick shower and wash the salt off me.
“But you don’t need a nice girl, Logan,” Marilyn yells as I close the door the room. That’s one of the things that I love about her – she isn’t someone who’s threatened by closed doors. She knows that she voice carries, and she isn’t afraid to use it.
“Oh yeah? And what kind of girl do I need?” I yell through the door.
I’ve already taken off my swimming trunks and I’m admiring my nicely toned body in the mirror. I love the way the early morning light wraps itself carefully around each muscle in my stomach. I run my fingertips of the each curve of the six pack, which look like little hills protruding out of a 3D topographical map.
“Someone who can put up with all your shit,” Marilyn yells and starts the vacuum cleaner. I smile at myself in the mirror. This conversation is over. I turn on my rainfall shower and enter my favorite thing about my house. On occasion, I’ve shared this shower with a girl or two, but I love this shower so much that I tend to vet women extra carefully before introducing them to it.
Unlike my old apartment shower and bathtub combination, which barely had room for one person, this shower room has space for at least four. The walls are made of beautiful Mexican tile – my favorite – and the floor is made up of little pebbles to mimic the feel of the earth. Water falls directly from the 12 foot ceiling, and there are additional steam nozzles on the side, which I don’t use nearly as much as I should. It was this shower that made me finally realize how much money I really had and how far I’ve come.
Stepping out of the shower, I glance at myself in the mirror. Not bad. Not bad at all. My green eyes catch the light streaming in through the floor-to-ceiling window and sparkle. My face is wet and my eyelashes look a little longer than normal. I never quite got it, but I’ve had a number of girls note how long my lashes were. A few even admitted how jealous they were of them. I look at them carefully in the mirror. I’ve always thought that their unusual length made my eyes look a little too feminine, but my one and only serious girlfriend, Sadie, said that they gave me eyes “a kind of ethereal quality.” Ethereal. I like that.
I love the tall ceilings in this place, especially in the bathroom. I’m 6’2” and it’s nice not to feel like a giant all the time. I flex my six pack and run my fingers over my stomach. Many men would kill for this stomach. I may sound vain – don’t get me wrong, I am – but I was a chubby kid and I know what it feels like to hate your body. For some reason, my mom let me eat everything in sight and finally, at the age of ten, I realized that I was a lot fatter than all the other kids at my school. That’s when I started working out. I hated how I felt about myself and I really hated how angry and sad I was all the time. My moods were completely controlled by my food and the last meal of sugar and sweets that I had. So, one day, I just decided that enough was enough. I started monitoring my food intake and doing pushups and sit ups. The first six months were utter horror. But over time, I grew to love working out. I loved how strong and powerful my body was becoming. It built my confidence, which eventually turned into pride and cockiness.
I toss my dark straight hair out of my face. Some people joke about $400 haircuts. Say that they’re not worth the money, especially for guys, but I’ll go to my grave arguing that they are worth every penny. There’s no way to even compare the haircut you get at some cheap place like Super Cuts to the one handcrafted by a meticulous Japanese hair artist like my Hiroshi. He takes the time to make sure that every strand is cut just so. So that when my hair does get a little long, they continue to fall in the effortlessly casual way they do now. It’s as if each strand knows its exact place on my head and goes there no matter what aggravation I put it through. No matter how many t
imes I run it through the rough surf mixed with sand of the Pacific Ocean. No matter how many times I drive my Aston Martin at 85 miles per hour down the 101 with the top down. None of these things matter. My hair somehow always looks just right afterwards.
Drying myself off, I linger a little bit too long looking at my dick. I’ve definitely lucked out. It’s 7 and a half inches long when erect with barely any curve to it at all. A few years ago, I got into the habit of going in for monthly waxing appointments and getting rid of all hair – and I mean everywhere. The first time I did this, I did it as a joke. I watched porn with this goddess I met in the South of France who held my attention for close to two months, and she asked what I thought about going for the porno look.
“It will make your cock look huge!” she said.
When she came back from the beach the next day, I had a little surprise for her. All of my hair was gone. She went wild for it. Ever since then, I’ve been getting quite a kick out of seeing the look on girls’ faces when they discover that I’m completely hairless. I swear to God, they find it so arousing that the blow jobs now last at least twice as long as before. A few actually said that it makes them feel like they’re with a porn star! I guess girls are no different from guys in that way – porn stars fill their fantasies.
I wrap junk in a towel and walk out into the kitchen, where Marilyn is still hard at work cleaning invisible dirt. Honestly, she’s such a hard worker. I don’t notice half the things she does, but she still insists on cleaning things that basically don’t require any cleaning.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you, how your family? Back in El Salvador?” I ask.
Auctioned to Him 4: His Addiction Page 40