by D T Dyllin
CHAPTER TWELVE
The rest of my evening after Jeremy left passed by me in a fog. All I could think about was how I had betrayed Bryn with Khol and Jeremy. And now, as I lay in my silent bedroom in the pitch black, shades drawn to protect against the prying eyes of nosey squirrels, I fought the sick feeling in my stomach that just wouldn’t go away. I didn’t deserve Bryn and his love. How could he ever forgive me? I had to tell him what had happened… of course… but what if I didn’t get the chance until a year was up? What if he came for me like planned, and I had to tell him what had transpired between me and two other guys? I could almost picture the betrayed look on his face. Would he hate me? Would he walk away from me forever?
“I can feel your tormented emotions, my little Seer. Why are you torturing yourself?” Khol’s low voice cut through the thick silence in my room.
I looked up to see him kneeling beside my bed, his electric green eyes glowing in the dark as he studied my face. He was one of the reasons I was feeling this way, and yet I had to talk to someone. “I betrayed Bryn.” A sob erupted from my throat when I heard myself say the words aloud. “He won’t want me now, after what I’ve done. And I can’t really blame him; I’m not good enough for someone like him.”
Khol snorted. “You know nothing of men if you think what you’ve done will turn him from you. He’ll want you until his dying breath.”
I blinked in confusion at Khol. “Shouldn’t you tell me that he’s not going to want me anymore, and that he’ll hate me, so that you can swoop in and make your move?” Isn’t that what a typical guy would do anyways?
Khol snorted again. “I won’t resort to cheap tricks of manipulation to win your affections. You would only resent me in the end. When you finally come to me, it will be because you are truly mine and there will be do doubts to hold you back.” He flashed me a smile in the dark. “And when you are mine, you’ll come to me alone for satisfaction, all other touches will leave you cold in comparison after I’ve branded you.”
I shuddered, goose bumps erupting all over my skin. There was something ancient and knowing in his words. His mention of branding me wasn’t just in innuendo; it meant something more, but what I wasn’t exactly sure. It was like that with Khol sometimes, he would say something that seemingly meant one thing, but I could pick up on an undercurrent of something else hidden between the lines. I’m not sure if he meant for me to feel those things, or if it was just a side effect of our link, but regardless they were there. “I’ll always crave Bryn,” I said.
“When all others turn to dust, there will only be you and me.”
Fear raced up my spine. I wasn’t afraid of Khol, just his words for some reason. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He stared at me for another moment, his face devoid of all emotion before he replied. “We must discuss the vision you had earlier… when you were kissing the Gatekeeper.”
I eyed him warily, knowing he was purposely not answering me, changing the subject to something I couldn’t ignore. “Yeah, fine. What about it? I couldn’t quite make everything out. It was more of an impression than a vision.”
“To you maybe, although that could be because you were otherwise occupied.” He shot me a wry smile. “But I was able to look closer at your vision and figure out what seemed to be just beyond your grasp.” I waved my hand at him to continue. “We’ve figured out what they want—these creatures.”
“And?” I squirmed impatiently.
“They want this world for themselves. They wish to rule it, and to enslave humans. They’ve done it before, to other worlds. They implant themselves amongst the residents of that world, slowly take over, and once they have complete control they use up all the resources. Eventually there’s nothing left and they move on.”
“Holy shit!” I exclaimed. “It’s like this movie I saw when these aliens attacked, trying to kill everybody so they could use our world up. Actually it’s kind of like a lot of movies I’ve seen.” I frowned, wondering if someone somewhere along the line was trying to tell us something.
“But unlike in your fantasy movies, the mass public doesn’t know these aliens are among us, they look like regular humans to them. If you came forward, you’d probably be locked away and labeled insane,” Khol stated matter of factly.
And he was right. I couldn’t just point to people like Senator Bill Wexington and yell—“Alien!” People would lock me away and throw away the key. “So what do we do then?”
“We’re coming up with a plan. In the meantime you must just stay aware.”
“Great. More of doing nothing, and who is this we you keep referring to? I’m hoping you’re not using the royal we or something, because it’s going to take more than just you… and me to take care of this problem.” I noticed on several occasions Kohl had said, we are working on it, and we are coming up with a plan, just who was this we?
“More of my kind. Most of us still slumber like I said, but you and your powers have awakened more than just me.”
My eyes widened. “Umm… so should I expect more pushy visitors like you to just drop by and harass me?” Oh, please no.
“No.” Khol’s jaw hardened into stone. “They are not to make direct contact with you. If any of them approach you, and trust me, you will know, call for me immediately, do you hear me?” He reached up and grabbed my shoulders. “Others of my kind are not as in control as I am, they won’t be able to hold themselves back from you.” Anger flared in his iridescent eyes so great that I shrank back from him. “They will try to take from you what doesn’t belong to them. They are too young and do not understand. I would kill them for it, but some of them would see it as a risk worth taking.”
“And what makes you different from others of your kind?” I croaked while staring at Khol’s tense face.
“I have lived many lifetimes longer than most of them, and I understand things that they do not. There is no need to actively fear them, they listen to me… I am their… leader. But there is always a chance that one of them won’t be strong even to resist your call, and he will try to come for you.” I shivered at the thought. Kohl reached one hand up and pushed my hair out of my face. “I will protect you. Please, I did not mean to frighten you.” When I didn’t say anything, Kohl leaned in closer to me. “Do you trust me?”
I did. For some reason I did trust him—truly. “Yes. I told you before that I did, and I still do, despite everything.”
“Good.” He let go of me, his face growing pensive. “And don’t worry, we won’t sit by and observe for long, the time for action is growing near. Your very existence speaks of things to come. These creatures may think this world is ripe for the picking, and in many ways it is, but there are those of this world who will fight hard enough and champion the weak. They will not win.”
A feeling of purpose swelled within me. I remembered thinking before that life had no meaning without love, and that was true, but what good was love if we weren’t free to express it? Things needed to change, old ways needed to die in order to make room for the new, and these aliens needed to leave my world the hell alone so we could live in peace. Getting rid of the aliens was the first step, and then it would be time to change the thinking of my people, so that Bryn and I could be together and not be shunned by our kind. That’s when a thought hit me. “They’re behind all the chaos, aren’t they? All the chaos and tension that’s been worsening in our world?”
“Yes. Not only do they want to use this world and suck it dry, but they enjoy the chaos, it makes them stronger, and us weaker in a manner of speaking.”
“Oh. You mean like united we stand and divided we fall?” I said excitedly. Who knew history class would actually serve a purpose in my real life?
Khol smiled. “Yes. Precisely.”
Khol looked like he was going to say more but I interrupted. “And I wasn’t going to say anything, but what’s up with how you talk? It’s so do not this and will not that and all old fashioned in some ways.”
Khol c
huckled. “It’s because I am old fashioned, as I’ve said I was asleep for a very long time. I’ve been trying to update my manner of speaking. Haven’t I been improving, my little Seer?”
I scowled at him for calling me his little Seer again, but I supposed there was no point in arguing with him at the moment about it. “Yeah, I guess. I mean before you probably would have said something like… Have I not been improving… or something like that.”
“Yes, indeed.”
“And you just backslid.” I laughed at his perplexed expression. “Never mind, forget it.” I smiled up at Khol for a second before I sobered. “I wanna do something, I need to help stop these assholes.”
“Even when it’s time to move, you will not actively participate.” Khol knelt back down and ran his knuckles along the side of my face, causing me to turn into his touch, much to my dismay. He was so hot, and I wasn’t just talking about how he looked, I was talking about his body temperature. I knew I must feel like ice to him, and I wanted to luxuriate in the warmth his caresses could bring my body. “You’re too precious to endanger in that way. And not just to me, I mean your visions. We’d all still be in the dark about this if it wasn’t for you. Without you we wouldn’t stand a chance.”
“But I can’t just sit by and do nothing. I need to help too.” I locked eyes with Khol and watched as his gaze dipped to fixate on my lips. I knew he was thinking about kissing me, and it made me tremble with longing. I inwardly cursed myself for being so weak. I’d chastised myself all afternoon and evening for what I’d done with both Khol and Jeremy and now faced with it again, it looked like I hadn’t learned my lesson.
Just for a brief moment I swore I saw fire dance behind the black irises of Kohl’s eyes. Instead of being afraid I felt myself being drawn to be closer to him, like I was a moth and his flames compelled me to touch him. I reached out and pressed my thumbs on the outside corners of his eyes. “What are you?” I murmured as he slid his eyelids closed, a small tremor running through him.
“Someone who can’t seem to get control of himself when I’m around you.” His voice was almost hoarse. “Your power sings to mine, like calls to like, and I desire nothing more than to forget my honor and to claim you for my own when I am with you.”
“But you won’t.” I swallowed nervously as his eyes snapped back open to resume staring at my lips. “Because I trust you.”
Khol pulled away from me and stood on visibly shaky legs, a small smile tipping the corners of his lips up. “Ah, and that’s the truth of the matter. I will not betray your trust, it means too much to me. So remember, my little Seer, if you lose your trust in me, you lose all that stops me from taking what I truly desire.”
I licked my lips nervously, Khol’s eyes following the movement. “And we’re not just talking about sex, are we?” I don’t know where I found the courage to ask but I had to know.
A dark laugh filled my dark room making me want to pull the covers over my head and hide like a little girl. “No, my little Seer, we are not talking about just sex. I want more, ever so much more from you than just that.”
“What? What is it you want from me?” I said on shaky breath. How could I trust someone who scared the crap out of me on so many levels?
“When you are ready to know what I am, then you’ll be ready to know what I want from you. Until then, you can know nothing more than one day you will be all mine.”
I raised my chin to meet his eyes defiantly, despite the tremor of fear coursing through my veins. “I’m already Bryn’s. He is mine and I am his.”
Khol grunted. “It’s time for me to go… for now.” And just like usual, he simply disappeared.
I stared wide-eyed into the dark of my room, the depth of it seeming that much deeper with the absence of Khol and his luminescent green eyes. I had so much to think about and none of the emotional experience to deal with any of it. A part of me longed for the innocent times before I had figured out my feelings for Bryn and we had slept together. To me that night at Ryan’s party was a clear demarcation of before and after, simple and complicated. I may not have officially been with Bryn but I’d at least had him in my life, and without Khol and Jeremy hanging around trying to muck everything up. Not to mention guys like the still un-named guy from Ryan’s party and Eddie from school. I used to think I wanted attention from guys, and well, what is it they say… be careful what you wish for. And going along with that line of thought, I had once wished so hard to come into my abilities as a Seer, that night at Ryan’s didn’t just mark a change for my romantic life but my life in general because it was that night at Jenna’s when I’d had my very first vision.
I was tired of not doing anything. I hadn’t done anything when Bryn was sent away. I hadn’t done anything about the visions I’d been sent. I hadn’t done anything but lay around and feel sorry for myself, and I was tired of it. But what could I do… really? I was just one eighteen-year-old teenage girl with no remarkable powers beyond having visions. My gift seemed to mirror the state of my life, I was a perpetual spectator, and I didn’t know how to join the game.
* * *
I’d lain awake all night ruminating about what I could to about all of the many issues I was facing, trying to formulate some kind of plan to take some action, and I’d come up with nothing… nada… zilch… zero. And now I found my mind wondering to thoughts of Bryn, he was never far from my mind lately, even when I was lip locked with someone else. I lost myself so much in my imaginings that I could almost touch him, smell his scent wrapped around me as if I was really in his arms. It reminded me that even though I was attracted to both Khol and Jeremy, Bryn was home. And I would always choose him over anyone else—always. Missing him so much was torture; I hadn’t been separated from him for more than a few days since we were kids. It was truly like losing a part of myself. Nothing seemed exactly real without him to share it with. He was that one person that I always ran to tell all about anything of importance. Not being able to share the recent events of my visions made them all seem like a dream, I realized. Everything seemed completely surreal without Bryn. I pushed my face deeper into my pillow and sobbed.
“Oh, peanut,” I heard my mother’s pained voice say as I felt the bed shift from her weight. I just wished she’d go away, I didn’t want comfort from one of the people who had ripped Bryn from my life; it was partly her fault I felt this way.
I felt her hand stroke my hair. “I know you’re upset now, but it’s for the best, you’ll see.” I had to fight the urge to lift the pillow from my head and scream at her, instead I burrowed deeper into the comforting fluff. “It could be worse. At least you didn’t end up pregnant, and then you’d have to marry the first Seer descendant or Gatekeeper that would have you. At least this way you won’t have to live a lie the rest of your life; you can move on from your mistake.” I’m not really sure what it was that tipped me off, maybe it was the catch in my mother’s voice, or the knowing way she seemed to speak, but that’s when it hit me.
I slowly lifted my face from my pillow to look at her with wide eyes. “Oh, my God,” I whispered with shock. “Oh. My. God. Is that what happened to you? Am—am I even Daddy’s real daughter?”
“Of course you’re your father’s, don’t be ridiculous. I just knew… a friend… a friend that had that happen is all,” my mother snapped with as much indignance she could muster, but she wasn’t fooling me. I could see the panic that hid beneath the surface of her faux anger. I’d hit it right on the nail. Holy shit… I wasn’t even biologically the daughter of the man I’d grown up thinking was my father.
I reached over and grabbed my mom’s hand. “Tell me,” I demanded. “I have a right to know. Wait—does Daddy know? Does he know I’m not really his?” My mother’s shoulders slumped in defeat and she looked at me with tears welling in her eyes. It’s then for the first time that it ever occurred to me how young my mom was in comparison to all my other friends’ moms. “How old were you?”
“I love your father. I don’t
want you to ever doubt that,” she stated with a shaky voice. “It’s just I was young—so young—and he was—well, he was—he was like nothing I’d ever seen before.”
“He couldn’t have been a Guardian, that much I know because I would’ve been a boy,” I interjected, speaking my thoughts out loud.
“No, you’re right. Your father—,” her voice shook. “—your biological father, I mean, he wasn’t human. Or not like any human I’d ever met before. He had these eyes—these iridescent blue eyes, and powers I’ve never seen before or since—he… well—I couldn’t seem to resist him.” My mom swallowed and looked away unable to meet my eyes. “I gave myself to him completely. I thought I was in love. I would have done anything to be with him. But when I found out I was pregnant, he disappeared. I never heard from him again.” My mother’s tears spilled from her eyes. “He just left me all alone. I didn’t know what I was going to do, and then…” She paused to recompose herself, wiping the tears that were flowing down her cheeks. “Your Daddy, well he was in love with me, and when he found out I was in trouble he wanted to take care of me, of us.”
“What was his name, my father?” His eyes, although they weren’t iridescent green like Khol’s, I knew the second my mother had described him that whatever Khol was, my biological father had been as well. The shock of what that meant coursed through my system… “I’m not even fully human?” It came out sounding like a question but it was meant more as a statement.
“You’re human, you’re my daughter—”
“And something else. I’m human, and something else.” My voice started getting all shrill like it did sometimes when I was freaking out. And let me tell you… I was freaking out.