by Leia Stone
“It’s okay. I can handle it.” And I could. Phantom burns ripped through my palms, reminding me of the last time I’d fused the weapon’s pieces. I’d thought my skin would be seared straight off that time, but now Gud Morder would be even more powerful? I shuddered.
Deal with it, Allie. A few blisters never killed anyone.
But Nott did.
Right.
With a determined nod, I raised my left hand over the hilt of Gud Morder. Its energy leapt through the air and into my palm, running along my armor and pooling in my necklace. The Liv surged to life in my chest, seemingly eager to join with the energetic pulses resonating from my weapon. That made one of us. I was still hesitant to re-open the searing blisters of pain that inevitably resulted from fusing one piece of Gud Morder to the next.
It’s not about you, Allie. It’s for the good of the realms. Think of Elo. And Vidar. And Gran. And your mom.
Resolve coursed through me, and I raised my right palm over one of the three new pieces that would complete my weapon. With a deep breath, I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my lips together. Here we go. I lowered my palms, wrapped my hands around the hilt and the first of the pieces, and brought them close together. Then I waited for the pain.
It didn’t disappoint.
Burning pulses shot from the sword’s handle as I gripped it in my left hand. The blue light of the Liv poured down my arm, meeting the vibration of the sword. It surged through the hilt, up the base of the entwined blades, and along the invisible cord that connected the fused bottom pieces to Gud Morder’s floating tip, before running back down the sword and filling my arm with a searing heat. Oh, my God. It hurts so bad! Since I didn’t know how long my body would be able to endure this level of energy, I carefully tightened my right hand’s grip on the twin-bladed piece and jammed it into the invisible cord of the sword. Gud Morder trembled with a ferocity that rivaled Nott’s earthquake, rocking my arms so hard that I stumbled backward.
“Don’t you dare let go of that sword, Allie Rydell,” Greta warned. “You could kill us all with that energy release.” She’d pulled out her crystal wands to hold them like weapons at her sides. Since she’d said she couldn’t help me, what she might do with them, I did not know. Maybe she wielded them to protect herself and the boys from the insane energy Gud Morder gave off. Or maybe she intended to take me out with them, should this little fusion party go downhill.
I was one more searing pulse of misery away from asking her to do exactly that.
“I’m not. Letting. Go,” I said through gritted teeth. My jaw was clenched so tight, knife-like pain burst through my skull.
And still the burning intensified.
“It’s secure enough. Fuse the second piece,” Greta called from across the makeshift altar.
She didn’t have to ask me twice. I released my hold on the first piece, and it pinged into place along the invisible cord. With a burst of blue light, the bottom chunk of the sword became one with the hilt, leaving just enough space along the invisible energy cord for the final two entwined pieces.
You’re nearly there, Allie. You can do this.
A cry escaped my lips as I wrapped my right hand around the second piece. This one was even hotter, and sent even more intense vibrations reverberating through my arm than its now-seemingly benign counterpart. “Oh, God!” I screamed. “It’s in my bones!”
It was. The vibrations no longer ran up my arm—now they ran through it, heating my bones from the inside and filling my head with images of eternal-flame-like evisceration. Burning alive felt like a very real possibility during this moment. In forcing this fusion fate upon me, Nott had cursed me every bit as much as she’d cursed my mother.
Forget healing the night goddess. After this, I was definitely killing her.
Maybe.
“Bring them together, Allie! Now, before the energy overcomes you!”
I peeled my eyes open long enough to see that Greta now held her wands in front of her in the shape of a cross. She moved them in a circle and clacked them together, sending white pulses to each of my protectors. Now Tore, Mack, Bodie, and Johann were each encapsulated in a silvery-white bubble. Greta was protecting them.
From me.
Gud Morder shook violently in my hand. I jammed the second piece into place, and it was sucked along the cord to take its place along the blade. Two down, one to go. As I set my sights on the final piece, fear coursed through me. But not the icy fear I was used to—that would have been a welcome respite to the blistering heat that covered my skin, filled my bones, and pooled in each of my energy centers. This fear was hot, filled with adrenaline and coated in malice. The more pain my body endured, the more my resolve to heal Nott waned. Every part of my burning being wanted to see her destroyed, a thought I knew came not from my consciousness, but from some remnant of darkness that must have been left over from my recent grief. I was a healer, not a killer. Whatever Nott’s fate, I would decide it when I was of sound mind, not when I was—
“Arugh!” I shrieked as I wrapped my palm around the final piece, and a surge of unbelievable agony ripped through my body.
“Pepper?” Tore’s worried voice came from behind me. “You okay?”
I tried to force the piece closer to Gud Morder, but my muscles were weak from the effects of the previous two fusions. “I’m in hell!” I screamed, barely registering the tears that flowed freely down my cheeks. In my previous fusions, my armor and necklace had been able to absorb enough of Gud Morder’s energy to let me finish the job. But today, with so many pieces now attached . . . I raised my arm again, ignoring the burn-tempered numbness coursing through my muscles, but I wasn’t strong enough to bring the piece to the sword. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t finish healing Gud Morder. I—
Strong fingers wrapped around my wrists to drive my hands together. I registered the familiar scent of winter and home before Tore pressed his chest to my back and pulled me to him.
“Hold on, Pepper,” he shouted before forcing the final piece into Gud Morder.
“Get back, Tore!” Greta shrieked. “The energy will—”
“It’s draining Allie!” Tore held us both in place, keeping my hands steady until the last piece of the weapon zapped into formation. He released his grip as a deafening boom clapped through the complex, and a burst of blue detonated from the tip of the sword. My body flew backward into Tore, whose strong arms wrapped tight around my waist. He cradled me as we fell to the ground, absorbing the brunt of the impact so that I landed hard atop his firm chest. He cried out as I pitched to my left, driving my armor into his torso. Oh, God. My body continued to burn with the fire of a thousand Muspelheims as we rolled across the complex floor, and I had zero doubt my armor was every bit as hot on the outside as it was against my skin. It was probably burning my boyfriend alive.
“Let go of me!” I screamed. I flung my body to the side, but Tore didn’t release me.
“Mack! Get down! The sword” Tore shouted. He drew his knees up, forcing me into a protective tuck so I couldn’t see my bearded protector. The clatter of metal suggested that Gud Morder had fallen somewhere in the complex. I hoped it hadn’t hurt anyone else.
Tore was finally forced to release me as his body slammed into the wall with a sharp crack. I scrambled to sit up enough to undo the straps of my armor and tear it from my body in one fierce movement. The second the metal left my flesh, a cool wave washed from my skin inward, coating my muscles and bones with a soothing balm, before following the Liv up to my necklace and into my chest. The coolness washed up and down my centers, dousing the heat until it was nothing more than an extremely traumatic memory. My hands were badly blistered, and the skin along my arm and shoulder was not only red, but dotted with a lacy blue pattern that mimicked the inlay of the crystals on my armor. I rubbed gently at the markings but they didn’t come off. I licked my thumb, and rubbed again. No change. Holy mother, had that thing branded me? I had a sleeve now? Not just a tattoo, but a freaking sleeve? I�
��d known Gud Morder would fuse not only to itself, but also to me. But nobody had mentioned anything about my magic glowy, blue energy and its crystal-laden counterpart marking me for life.
So. Freaking. Much. Therapy.
But at least I wasn’t burning anymore. I hoped I wasn’t the only one.
Careful not to touch my discarded armor, I scooted over to where Tore lay crumbled against the wall. He held his hand over his shoulder, his body contorted in obvious pain, but when he opened his mouth all he said was, “You okay, Allie?”
I moved closer to Tore’s side, careful not to touch him.
“Oh, Tore.” I exhaled. His shirt still smoked where it had been singed by my armor, and the skin beneath the torn fabric was red and blistered. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m fine,” he grunted. He reached over to cup my face, his eyes glancing down to the still-burning skin at my shoulder. “Your arm’s far worse. But we’ll get you healed up. I promise.”
“I know we will.” I twisted my torso to examine the rest of the complex. Johann and Bodie were sprawled on the ground, clearly disheveled but seemingly all right, while Mack was helping Greta to her feet. My bearded protector clutched the lightly glowing Gud Morder in one hand, and while it appeared to be smoking, Mack’s neutral expression didn’t reflect any pain. Thank God. “Are you guys okay?” I called out.
“Barely,” Bodie muttered. He climbed unsteadily to his feet. “We’re done now, right? No more fusing things? I’m not sure I can take any more of this.”
“You? You can’t take any more?” I pointed to my freshly tatted arm. “I took it harder than you did, thank you very much.”
Bodie shook his head with a wry half-smile. “That’s what she—”
“Holy skit.” Johann swore as he scrambled to his feet. “Her arm matches her eyes.”
“What are you—” I glanced down at my shoulder. Sure enough, the blue marks on my arm now emitted the same glowy blue light as the Liv. And, if I remembered from the last horror-inducing fusion session, my eyes would be doing the same. “Aw, man. This is not cool.”
“Don’t look at me, Allie.” Johann shuddered. “You’re creepy.”
“Don’t worry, Hannie. I’m still me.” I winked. “And so you’ll never forget how amazingly powerful I am, I’ll stand outside your window at two a.m. and stare at you with these.” I pointed to my eyeballs and tried not to laugh at the look of sheer terror that crossed Johann’s face.
“It dies down, right, Greta?” Johann spun around to plead with our friend. “The freaky eye thing goes away?”
“I have no idea.” Greta released Mack’s hand and tucked her wands into the waist of her pants. “It did last time, but now Gud Morder’s fully fused, and fully bonded to Allie. Things could be different.”
Ugh. I turned back to Tore, who still sat beside me panting on the floor. “Will you still love me with all of this?” I waved my right hand around my face and left arm.
“Pepper, I’ll love you forever. No matter what you look like.” Tore winked. “And I have to say, the tattoos are pretty hot. I kind of hope they’re here to stay.” Tore’s eyes darkened to a sultry, almost-navy hue. He reached over with one hand, gripping the back of my head and pulling me in for a long, drawn-out, absolutely delicious kiss. Yum.
“Tore,” Greta interjected. “Nott’s likely going to have felt the fusion. If she has an attack planned, it’s going to come any minute.”
Right. Priorities. Wait, one more kiss . . .
I tried not to sulk when Tore released his hold on the back of my head. “Fine. Everybody, head back to the house. Get yourselves battle ready and reconvene in the field in half an hour. I’ll check in with Astrid on logistics, and we’ll Bifrost to Nott’s—”
“Actually,” I interrupted, “Bodie and I have something we need to do first. With your mom.” I shot a meaningful look across the complex, and Bodie nodded. He crossed to my side, careful not to make eye contact as he held out a hand to help me stand. “Oh, seriously? You too? They’re just eyes,” I huffed.
“Yeah, but they’re creepy ones,” Bodie muttered, hurriedly releasing my hand.
“Bodie,” Greta warned.
“Sorry,” he said. He bit down on his bottom lip and met my gaze, only shuddering a little. It was progress, and I’d take it.
“Are you going to try to heal my mother?” Hope brightened Tore’s tone. But as he pushed himself to his feet, his shoulders slumped. “You can’t. The mission is to end Nott’s reign, and the mission is the priority.”
“No, our family is the priority,” I corrected gently. Mack and Greta came to stand behind Bodie. Mack handed me my sword, and the blue in my arms emitted a brighter pulse with Gud Morder in my grasp. Cool.
“The good of the realms takes precedence over the good of the individual.” Tore spoke as if reciting from a manual. He’d probably had that drilled into him since day one of whatever warrior training school Asgardians attended, but I didn’t work that way.
And I was about to let him know it.
“There is no good in the realms without good in individuals,” I said. “You, our friends, and our families mean way more to me than any mission ever will.”
“Yes, but—”
“But nothing. Let’s be realistic, Tore. Nott’s going to bring out every tool she has to destroy us. And she may well succeed. If I die, the Liv dies with me. Which means there’s no hope of ever restoring your mom’s memory. Ever. If Nott wins today, I need to know for my own sanity,” I stressed when Tore opened his mouth to protest, “that at least one good thing has come out of all of this. And nothing could be better than giving your mom back to you. So let me and Bodie do this without fighting us. Please.”
Tore stared at me, zero emotion crossing his perfect features. After a full half-minute, a single tear crept down his cheek. He quickly pressed the heels of his hands to his face.
“Thank you.” It was all he said, but those two words spoke volumes. He loved me. He trusted me. He was scared as hell that I might be right, and that Nott could win the day. I was scared as hell, too. But I wasn’t going to let Tore, or anyone, see my fear. I would be brave for my team. I would heal Ophelia. And I would let the cards fall wherever the Norns saw fit to place them.
Because I was a demigod.
“Greta, can you heal Tore’s shoulder?” I asked. “We’ll be right back.”
My friend nodded. “Stay still, Tore,” Greta advised. “This might hurt a little.”
“Fine,” Tore grunted.
With a short exhale, I tightened my grip on Gud Morder and turned on one heel to march out of the complex. Footsteps padded behind me, and I knew Bodie followed. No doubt Johann and Mack were returning to the house to prep for the upcoming battle, while Greta made sure Tore was in fighting form so that we could leave the minute Bodie and I finished with Ophelia. My friends were all focused on their jobs.
It was time for me to do mine.
I had the single, biggest healing of my life ahead of me. And I had no idea if I was up to the task.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
MY HAND PAUSED ON the door to Ophelia’s cottage. What would I say? Would she be afraid of my new look? Multiple dragons chuffed behind me, eating raw strips of meat on the side of the barn, and distracting me from my thoughts. I was still mulling over the best way to go at this when Bodie rapped lightly on the door and smiled.
“Rip the bandage off,” was all he said.
Thanks, pal.
Ophelia opened the door and took in my new appearance with wide eyes. “Allie. You look . . . different.”
I gestured to my tattoos and my eyes. “Sorry. It’s been kind of crazy, but I was hoping Bodie and I could come inside to perform your final healing.”
She nodded ushering us both into her home.
“My final one?” She played with the hem of her dress. “Am I being relieved of my position?”
Technically, yes. She wasn’t going to be our housekeeper after she remembered s
he was Tore’s mom. But I didn’t want to startle her any more than my glowy eyes and arm sleeve already had.
“No, no. Nothing like that. It’s just . . . this healing will be different from the others. I’ve brought Bodie because together, we’re going to be able to restore all of your memories.”
Ophelia went pale, grabbing the chair behind her and sitting down. “How can you be sure?”
Bodie stepped forward. “Because I know you from before. We all do. Allie and I are going to combine our gifts to make sure you remember who you are, and everyone you love.”
Ophelia’s hand flew to her mouth. “I want that very much.”
The fact that Ophelia still didn’t know she was living with her own son absolutely gutted me. “You have a lot of people who care about you,” I said simply.
Ophelia rubbed lightly at her jaw. “What’s your gift?” she asked Bodie.
Bodie brought his hands together and pulled them apart, showing a memory in the flickering space between his palms. The image showed Bodie as a little boy, beaming as his parents laughed at the silly face he made. Ophelia smiled, and Bodie folded his hands together, closing the memory down.
“I can store and retrieve memories,” he explained.
Ophelia raised her chin to speak in a small voice. “I’m scared,” she admitted.
“Well, we’re not.” Bodie smiled confidently. “We know we can do this, and everything will be just fine. Can you find strength in that?”
Ophelia dipped her head in a slow nod. “Okay. I trust you.”
No pressure.
Without being asked, Tore’s mom lay down on the couch. She clasped her hands tightly across her chest.
I drew a shaky breath before looking at Bodie. “So, Ophelia’s mind is like a broken bridge. I’ve been laying Liv bricks, trying to connect the two sides, but it hasn’t been enough. I need you to help me bring the sides together to unlock her memory bank. Then you can fill it with her missing memories.”