After a little longer, her back pushed up against the wall next to where his bedroom door was. He kissed her one more time and then took her hands again, leading her into his room.
She’d never been in there before. She hadn’t had a need to. She didn’t have much time to check it out, but she did note that it was large. He had a king-size bed in the center, and there were two doors on either side of the bed. One door had light streaming through it, and so she knew that was the master bathroom. The other, a closed door, was bound to be a walk-in closet. But she couldn’t continue taking in the details because he was leading her to the bed. He opened the drawer in the nightstand beside the bed, looked around for a few seconds, and then pulled out a condom. She almost started laughing, wondering if he’d be able to stretch the damn thing over his cock. But she didn’t say anything. He unwrapped the condom and slid it up, and then he smirked and said, “You ready for me?”
Part of her wondered if she really was. He really was huge, and Emily was nervous. She knew, though, that being nervous would make her tight and resistant, no matter how naturally lubed up she was. She was afraid of looking stupid by being honest, but she knew it was better that than pretend it was nothing and look like an ass later. So her lame but truthful answer was “I think so.”
Clay blinked twice. “You think so?” He chuckled, an incredulous look on his face. He took a deep breath. “Why so lukewarm all of a sudden?”
She frowned. “You’re gonna think this is so stupid, but…I’ve never been with anyone as, uh, big as you, and I’m a little nervous.”
He blinked, started to say something, and then took in a breath. He started to talk again, and it was like the words had escaped him. Then he smiled. “Okay. Well, would it help if we went slow? And if it hurts or anything, you tell me. Okay?”
She nodded, already glad she’d decided to say something. “Yeah.”
His next kiss was sweet and slow, as though now she were a delicate flower that might wilt with too much heat or pressure. Turned out it was more scorching than the passionate, heated, consuming kisses they’d been sharing earlier. Then he kissed down the side of her neck and turned around, inviting her to lie down on the bed. Once they were both lying down, he ran his hand down her cleavage and her belly to her mound. It was instinctive, the way she raised her hips up off the bed. She couldn’t believe she was heated up and ready again. But she was, and having his fingers right there made her feel squirmy. His tongue played in her mouth again while a finger slid down to her clit. As before, she relished the sensation of his touching her, and it was nothing like her fantasy earlier in the month when Bryce had talked her through a climax that actually starred Clay. Oh, no, the man in the flesh was a thousand times better than she’d imagined.
As if he were assured that she was ready, Clay positioned himself between her legs. She spread herself a little wider than she normally would, just in case she needed to in order to accommodate all of him. She felt him pressing up against her and then he eased in, one inch at a time. She let out a long, slow breath, and she almost laughed. No, he didn’t hurt at all. It was a little uncomfortable, simply because her body wasn’t used to a cock his size, but there was no pain. Once he was inside her all the way, he asked, “Doing okay?”
She took a deep breath. “More than.” No, she didn’t feel like she was being ripped apart, but she had a feeling of overwhelming fullness, of being pushed to her limits. He began doing the familiar thrust and then it hit her. He felt incredible. She listened to her body and tilted her pelvis to take him in at a different angle and then she gulped a large breath of air. She was close again and it made her short of breath. “Mmm.”
“Feel good, baby?”
“God, yes, just give it to me.”
“Yeah, I can do that.” He increased his pace, and she felt her blood start to race as her head began to swim. She dug the back of her head into her pillow and felt her chin point upward. Clay took that as a signal, and he kissed her neck with his open mouth. That’s when a moan flew out from her lips, followed by another and another as a heavenly orgasm washed over her, almost better than the one she’d had earlier. She tried not to scratch his back but felt like she had no control, and that’s when she heard him cry out as well as he pumped his load into the condom. Her legs clenched against his sides as she finished.
When he was done, he laid his head next to hers for a few minutes. He finally got off her, though, pulling the condom off his cock and then bringing her close. He drifted off to sleep in the mid-afternoon sun while she lay there wondering why the fuck she’d gone and done something so stupid.
Chapter Fifteen
CLAY LAY QUIETLY as he slowly rejoined the land of the living and the wakeful. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep, but based on the quality of the light streaming into the room, it was quite a bit later in the day.
Goddamn, that was nice. He hadn’t had sex in a few weeks, and that was worth the wait. Emily had been worth the wait. But what the fuck had he done? He just couldn’t keep his cock in his pants, could he? He’d crossed that imaginary line she’d warned about. So what now? Had he fucked it up for good? She was the best thing that had happened in his life in a long time. Had he completely ruined it?
Well, he wasn’t going to think about it—at least not yet, not now. He wanted to enjoy himself, at least for a few hours. He was still feeling blissful, still riding that high, and he didn’t want to ruin it. He just hoped she wasn’t regretting it.
She was still sleeping. He’d worn her out too. He had the feeling that she and her fiancé had had another argument like the one they’d had when they were in California. Why else would she come running to him when she’d hardly shown any interest in him before that? Sure, he’d caught her looking at him once or twice, but that didn’t constitute full-blown interest. Yeah, he was just a port in a storm.
He thought he might be okay with that, because Emily was pretty fine.
He smiled, remembering what she’d said about his dick. She’d said his size intimidated her. He’d heard that before. He found it funny because he wasn’t huge, not by a long shot. Porn stars—those guys were fucking monstrous. Clay might have been larger than average, but if girls could take a porn star, he was nothing.
He took another breath and finally rolled over some so he could see the time. It was close to six o’clock. And he was hungry as fuck.
He could hear that new song rolling around in his head too. He needed to get together with Brian and tell him what he could hear in his head. He had a definite sound he was aiming for, but he wanted to tell Brian what he was thinking and see what his friend would come up with. He and Brian had evolved enough songs for Clay to know that what Brian brought to the table was just as important. Clay would start out with one idea, and Brian would bring it crashing to the ground in the best way possible.
He sat up. He was torn—did he call Brian right now and tell him he had something he had to share with him, or did he go to the kitchen and tear through the fridge?
Actually, he had to take a piss first. She was still under his arm, and he didn’t want to wake her up, but as the realization hit him, it became somewhat urgent. He lay back down so he could pull his arm straight out and there would be less risk of waking her. He found it odd that they’d slept so long, and he thought maybe it was because they’d stayed up late the night before watching movies. She’d admitted that she hadn’t seen many movies in the last several years due to her grueling school schedule, so they’d stayed up later than planned. Maybe that was why they’d slept so long and so hard.
As he lay back down to pull his arm out from underneath her, his head rested on her hair. He loved the way it smelled—fresh and with a scent he couldn’t place. It made him want to wrap his free arm around her again and hold her close.
It made him want to take her again.
God, yeah, he had to get up. He managed to get his arm out from underneath her with not too much effort, and then he sat up and got
out of bed. He walked around it to get to the bathroom. Out of habit, he just left the door open while pissing in the toilet and then hoped she wouldn’t get out of bed and catch him. He knew girls hated that shit, and he couldn’t believe he’d done it without thinking.
She hadn’t walked in on him, though, so that was good. Next stop—the fridge. He hadn’t eaten since late morning, and now he felt like he could eat an entire cow. He walked back into his bedroom and she was stirring. He must have awakened her. Seeing her? It made him change his mind about priority. He wasn’t so hungry after all.
But she might not have the same idea. Oh, he could hear a lot of things rattling around in the back of his head, things he wasn’t ready to think about, but he did need to come back to reality. Yeah, there were the awkward morning after moments to be dealt with, even if it really was simply later in the day. The heat of the moment was past, and they had to view each other in light of the fact that they’d just fucked. He knew he’d be okay. He’d had to do it so much in the past decade and with people he didn’t care about, so it was something he could handle.
Or could he?
He wasn’t sure if he had any stars-and-flower feelings for Emily, but he already liked her as a person. He respected her and he cared about her as a friend. He definitely did not want to hurt her, so maybe he had to handle this a little better than he often managed to.
Maybe, as much as he hated to do it, they needed to talk.
Where the fuck were his jeans? He remembered they were in the living room, so he retrieved them and slid them on. He was sliding the zipper up when he walked back in the bedroom. He had a plan, so he sat on the edge of the bed where Emily lay. She looked peaceful. Her dark hair was pulled back from her head, so he could look on that porcelain skin and tender neck. Her eyelids were fluttering a little, so he was sure she was waking up. His voice was barely more than a whisper when he said, “Emily?” She moved her head a little. “Emily, you awake?”
She turned her head up a little as if trying to wake up the remainder of the way. “Hmm?”
“You awake?”
She took in a deep breath that turned into a yawn, and she brought her hand up to her mouth to cover it. Her eyes were still closed. “Yeah, I think so.”
He couldn’t help it. Her bare shoulder was too tempting. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. “I, uh, I wondered if you wanted to maybe grab a bite. I’m starving.”
Her eyes opened then, and he could see them focus. She looked at him and said, “Yeah, sure, I could. What do you have in mind?”
He shrugged. “I dunno. You said Chinese food usually caters to your filthy vegan ways.” She smiled. Good—she knew he was messing with her. “There are a couple places not far from here.”
She stretched, still under the sheet. Damn. He was hoping to get another great view of her tits. They were really nice—not huge, not like some of the porn star boobs he’d seen, and definitely not fake and inflated like some of the women he’d boned in the last few years, but they were still shaped nicely. He could hold one inside his hand. He didn’t need more than that to be happy.
Stop. No, this probably had to end here and now. Much as he wanted to bury himself deep inside her again, he knew it was a bad idea. She herself had said it, and yet…
No. He’d promised himself the opportunity to enjoy what had happened just for tonight. Tomorrow they could go back to the way things had been. In fact, they should talk about it before parting ways tonight. She could go to her room; he could go to his; and they could wake up the next day and pretend it hadn’t happened.
No, he couldn’t pretend they’d never done it. They could, however, be adults about the whole thing and choose to get past it. He’d explain to her that she was right. Absolutely right. It had been a dumb idea to give into their animal urges. They needed to stay on their proper sides of what she’d called the employer/ employee line. It had been stupid of them to do, and they’d have to keep their hands to themselves from this point forward.
Aside from still wanting her, he could do that.
And she seemed capable of doing it. She was one of the most professional people he’d ever met who actually intrigued him. Most business types seemed boring to him. Emily instead felt three-dimensional and had character. She was fascinating.
God, he had to stop. He took a deep breath and she said, “Cool. I guess I should get dressed.”
He couldn’t help himself. “Unless you want me to get takeout.”
She smiled. “You’re funny. Just give me a few minutes to make sure I don’t look like complete shit.” She got out of bed, and it didn’t escape his notice that she went to the other side of the bed. She was avoiding the awkwardness too. There was an entire island to crawl over on the other side, but she went that way anyway, rather than get too close to him. Maybe she felt even stranger than he did. Well, he wasn’t going to say something about it and potentially make it worse.
Okay, so maybe he needed to get ready too. He watched her saunter out of his room. Goddamn, did she have a fine body. He took a deep breath and got up, walking over to his dresser. He pulled out the t-shirt on top, a black Trapt shirt. He hadn’t worn that one in a long time. He smiled, because he knew Mary liked to rotate his clothes to prevent wear. She knew him too well. He always grabbed whatever was on top of the pile, even if he’d worn it a few days earlier. He hadn’t had that problem in the old days. Back then, he just wore whatever was clean or at least the least smelly. He smiled. Once the shirt was on, he got a pair of socks on and then found his black Converse shoes in his closet, right where Mary had put them.
Fuck. He’d have to make sure Emily’s clothes were out of the music room before morning too, because Mary always showed up bright and early on Mondays. And if Mary knew they’d had sex, she would read Clay the riot act. He just knew it. In the meantime, though, he went into the bathroom again and brushed his teeth.
Just a few minutes later, Emily joined him in the living room. She definitely was fuckable. She was wearing a short colorful skirt and a clingy white tank top with low white heels that made her calves look incredible. Clay knew he looked like a fucking slob next to her. That was okay, because they weren’t going anywhere fancy, but dinner was going to be difficult, because he wanted just one more round with this gorgeous woman.
Dinner first. He’d need his strength for what he wanted to do to her.
Chapter Sixteen
EMILY COULD PLAY nice. She’d done it plenty of times. She could definitely be pleasant and polite with Clay. After all, he’d given her two incredible orgasms earlier that day. He was unbelievable in bed, and she wouldn’t have suspected that. His penis had completely freaked her out. She’d never seen nor felt one that large and now she felt bad for any other man she slept with from this point on, because she’d always compare his size to Clay. There would really be no avoiding it.
Still, while she was playing nice on the drive to the restaurant, she was mentally kicking herself in the ass. That had been completely stupid. She’d been feeling emotional and hadn’t wanted to turn into a weepy pile of shit. Instead, she’d thought it would display strength of character to hold the tears in.
The second part of the equation, having a meaningless fuck, she hadn’t clearly thought through, because—even though she thought she was burying her emotion—she was actually just channeling it elsewhere. She was in reality a hot fucking mess inside, and she was surprised she was able to maintain a cool exterior.
She was pretty sure he’d considered grabbing her hand as they walked out to his car in the garage. One thing she’d say about Clay—he had great taste in cars. He had a black Corvette that was like a piece of art. It handled like a racecar, and the few times she’d been with him while he was driving, she was sure he was going to get pulled over. He drove faster than he played his guitar, and that was saying something.
The hand-grabbing, though…that freaked her out a little. Still, he didn’t actually do it, so she started to think maybe it was
her imagination. She thought maybe she should try to make conversation, but they didn’t talk much on the way to the restaurant. Clay said something here and there but got one-word answers from her, and he finally just sang along with the radio.
He had a sexy singing voice. She would never tell him that, but it was nice. A little low, no gravel at all (not that she would have minded), smooth and solid. She knew he did back-up vocals for Last Five Seconds, but all the guys in the band did, and they usually were screaming and growling. She had no idea he had such a nice voice. She doubted he’d want it advertized, either, considering he had one of the most hardcore bands out there right now.
When they got to the restaurant, she never would have imagined he was a bad boy rock star. He opened her car door for her and helped her out, and he placed his hand on her lower back to lead her up to the entry. He opened the door to the restaurant as well. Fortunately, he wasn’t staring at her or anything, but could things feel any weirder?
She’d have to be honest with him. Today had been a huge mistake.
Part of her disagreed, yes, because she didn’t think she’d ever been made to feel that fantastic in her life. She wasn’t inexperienced when it came to sex, but she was pretty sure she’d been sheltered when it came to that kind of thing. The lovemaking she’d experienced before felt sterile compared to Clay, even though they hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary. It was just plain old sex…but there was something about the way he did it that made her feel tingly and excited.
She was looking at the menu but thinking about the things he’d done to her, and she almost blushed when he asked her if she knew what she wanted to order. She looked up and gave him a small smile. “Yeah, I think so.” She let out a long, slow breath. Why the hell did this have to be so difficult?
The waiter brought their drinks and took their order. Clay took a long swallow of his wine and then said, “I guess we should talk about the elephant, huh?”
Feverish (Bullet #3) Page 12