Every evening, she cleaned up her project and turned off all of the lights and watched. She wouldn’t allow herself to speak to Derick again.
No, the dinner hadn’t been the problem. It had been after dinner. Her reaction to his proximity and the desire to touch him. After that night, she’d gone straight to her duffel bag and pulled out the envelope. The pictures within were a vivid reminder and she’d cried herself to sleep that night. Cried for all the things that she’d lost. Her dreams and her hopes were shattered. Until she’d met Derick, she’d accepted that. So why was he stirring all of those desires up again?
She was strong and powerful! This might not be the life she’d wanted, but it was the life she had. Carrie reminded herself that she was safe. That was much more important than feeling a man’s strong arms around her. Much more important!
That night, after all of the lights in Derick’s house went out, Carrie slipped out of her house and curled up on the corner of her porch, staring up at the stars as tears streamed down her cheeks. She had a cup of tea in her hands, but she didn’t drink it. She wanted…more.
“What did I do wrong?”
Carrie jumped, spilling tea down her front at the sound of Derick’s voice breaking through the silence of the night. Thankfully, the tea had cooled enough she didn’t burn herself. But the sight of Derick, so close and so handsome and so…mysterious…bothered her far more than the spilled tea.
“I’m sorry?” she asked, keeping her voice down in deference to the peaceful night.
He stepped closer, but didn’t come up onto her porch, keeping his distance. “What did I do wrong?”
Carrie uncurled her legs, not wanting to appear small. She already felt too venerable.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Derick.”
“Then why have you avoided me for the past several days?”
Standing up, she looked at him, the moon illuminating his skin but making his features dark and indistinguishable.
Several answers came to mind, and she set her cup down on the railing and moved closer, her bare feet sinking into the dew-covered grass. “Because you scare me, Derick.”
He moved closer with her words. “I’d never hurt you,” he replied. “Never.”
She closed her eyes, wishing that she could believe him. But her past had proven that trusting a man was dangerous. “You’re very strong, Derick,” she replied, not agreeing or disagreeing with him.
He moved even closer and she could smell him, his masculine scent and the slight bite of sweat that should smell bad, but on Derick, it was wonderful. Tempting.
Stepping down from the porch, she sighed. “I can’t…”
“We’re attracted to each other, Jolene. Tell me the problem and I’ll fix it.”
She smiled up at him, wondering if she could have one night. Just one. One perfect night and then she’d go back to being the recluse.
Reaching out, she touched his chest, running her fingers over the soft cotton shirt. “You’re very handsome.”
He moved closer, not touching her, but nor did he pull her hand away. “Is that the problem?”
She laughed softly, shaking her head. “No.”
“Then what?”
Carrie closed her eyes, her fears slipping away as desire for this man washed over her. “Would you…?” she paused looking up at him. “Would you kiss me?” she whispered, almost fearful that he’d deny her request. And terrified that he would agree.
“Yes,” he replied, his voice rough with emotion.
Still, he didn’t touch her and Carrie appreciated that. Instead, he lowered his head, his lips brushing against hers. Back and forth, testing her lips, feeling her trembling response. Over and over again, he kissed her, not doing anything else and Carrie knew she had fallen in love with him right then and there.
Pulling back, she looked into his eyes, not moving away from him. In that moment, she made a decision. Just one night, she told herself. Just one night in his arms.
“I don’t have a bed,” she whispered.
In response, Derick scooped her into his arms and, in what seemed like only two steps, carried her across the yard to his house and up the stairs. He wasn’t even breathing heavily when he shouldered his way into his bedroom.
“Derick!” she gasped when she felt his hands on her waist. “Please, I’m sorry but…would you mind if…if I was on top?”
He hesitated, then kissed her again. Another gentle, soothing, coaxing kiss. “If that will make you more comfortable, then yes.”
She nodded, then moved closer, needing just a moment in his arms. A moment to savor the feeling of being held, the warmth of him, and the tenderness in his hands. This moment would be enough, she told herself. Sex was fine, but this…snuggling was even better.
His hands moved over her back, diving into her hair. After several breathless seconds, he turned her head up and kissed her. This time, his tongue slid over her lips, coaxing her to open for him. She did, and gasped when she felt his tongue in her mouth, moving around, tasting her. Exploring her.
Somehow, her tee shirt had come off and she stood in front of him in only her panties. Dollar store panties that were a bit threadbare, but thankfully, he couldn’t tell in the moonlight streaming through his open windows.
Carefully, he laid her down on the bed and pulled her panties down, taking in all of her in the dim light.
“You’re so beautiful,” he growled, his eyes and fingers skimming over her nakedness.
He started to lean over her, but she squeaked, feeling nervous. So, he shifted until he was lying on his back. He quickly pulled his tee shirt off, tossing it away. Quickly, Carrie moved so that she was over him, her hair coming out of the band to form a curtain around them as she moved her mouth from his shoulder to his chest, kissing and exploring, feeling her way since there wasn’t enough light to see as much of him as she’d like.
Swinging a leg over his hips, she realized that he was still wearing his jeans. With fumbling movements, she unsnapped his jeans and wiggled them down over his hips, pulling his boxers along with his jeans until the man was completely naked. “Oh my!” she thought, but she must have said it out loud because he chuckled.
Climbing back onto the bed, she hesitated, worried about something. “I um…I can’t get pregnant. I have…” she blushed at such an intimate conversation with a man she didn’t really know all that well.
“You have what?” he asked, sliding his hand down her arm, her side, curving around to cup her breast. His thumb reached to caress her nipple and Carrie shuddered, slapping a hand down over his hand to stop him.
“I don’t need that,” she told him.
“Condoms are in the bedside drawer,” he told her.
She bit her lower lip again, but twisted around to search for protection. When she had it in her hands, she looked at the foil packet, not really sure what to do with it. Oh, she knew in theory, but looking at Derick, there was so much more of him than her theoretical assumptions. A lot more!
“I don’t know…”
“Give it to me,” he said, his voice gravelly.
Carrie handed him the condom and he tore open the package, then rolled it down his shaft while Carrie watched, fascinated. “Does it hurt?” she asked, curious.
“Only when you look at me like that,” he replied.
Carrie pulled her eyes away from his erection. “Oh,” and she moved, swinging her leg over his hips again. “I’m not exactly sure…” She stopped, positioning herself over his shaft, but he grabbed her hips to stop her.
“Why don’t we take this a bit slower?” he offered. “I don’t think you’re ready for the main event.” He kissed her gently again and Carrie felt his stomach muscles against her core. And enjoyed it!
“I’m fine,” she promised, wanting to just get this all over with so that they could get to the snuggling afterwards.
“Right,” he replied and she felt his smile. “I don’t think I’m ready though.” With those words, he slid hi
s hands up against her waist. His hands were so big, they almost circled her. They moved higher, cupping her breasts. His hands were big and her breasts didn’t completely fill them up, but he knew what to do with those thumbs.
Carrie felt bolts of need shoot through her. Closing her eyes, she whimpered when his mouth covered one nipple, his tongue teasing and lashing at that sensitive peak.
“Stop!” she gasped, pulling away from his mouth. “I don’t…I can’t handle that.”
“You don’t like it?” he asked, his hands trailing over her back, down her spine and around to cup her bottom.
“I like it. But…”
“Then just relax and enjoy it,” he soothed. His mouth returned to her breast, sucking this time and she screamed at the shocking sensations shooting through her. She clung to him, grasping his hair as he moved from one breast to the other, then back again.
“You drive me wild when you move against me like that, Jolene,” he told her.
She startled at the strange name and almost sobbed at the need to hear her real name on his lips. But she had enough presence of mind to keep her mouth shut and protect her past. It wasn’t just herself she had to protect, but Derick now too.
Pushing the thought aside, she kissed him, grinding herself against his erection in an unconscious rhythm. Finally, he growled and laid back. He guided her hips so that his hands could slide against her, one finger entering her wet heat and she moaned at the same time he did. “Now you’re ready, honey,” he murmured with that sexy, husky voice.
He shifted her hips again, lifting them up and positioning her at his tip. Slowly, he lowered her down, his eyes watching her face for any sign of discomfort. When he saw it, he stopped her and soothed her with his hand. “Just relax, honey. You can take all of me. Just relax.”
She shivered, wanting desperately to please him. Taking a deep breath, she positioned her hands against his chest and…lowered herself down a bit more. And then a bit more. When she felt his hands against her thighs, her body trembled and she took all of him into her wet heat.
Carrie felt stretched to the max, her whole body tight and quivering. Looking down at Derick, she felt as if she’d accomplished something amazing.
Then he moved. The friction was surprising! She was so full, so tight that even the slightest bit of friction caused pleasure to echo through her! Carrie moved again. Then again. After that, her body shifted instinctively, tingling all over with every shift against him. He took her hips with his hands and lifted her high off of his erection, then down again.
“Ah!” she gasped, surprised that it felt so good. So, she did it again! And again! Over and over, she controlled their movements, riding his shaft. With completely selfish movements, she shifted again and again.
When his hands moved up to cup her breasts, she couldn’t hold back any longer. He pinched one nipple lightly and she arched her back, spirals of pleasure making her writhe against him.
She grabbed at his shoulders when he suddenly shifted their positions, but Carrie didn’t feel threatened. Not with Derick. When he started pounding into her, she felt the pleasure rise again and new sparkles poured over her. All she could do was wrap her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck and hold on as the pleasure became almost painful. When he finally found his climax, there were tears in Carrie’s eyes. That had been the most beautiful experience of her life. Never could she have dreamed anything like that was possible.
Derick rolled over, pulling her right along with him so that she was draped over his chest. “Sorry about taking over at the end there,” he murmured, stroking her hair as he draped her tresses over his naked chest.
“I liked it,” she whispered, surprised that it was the truth. She also liked that she was still connected to him. That he was here, touching her as they both worked to get their breath back.
Derick knew the exact moment that “Jolene” fell asleep and he smiled up at the ceiling, still running his hands through her hair, soothing her.
Another piece of the puzzle, he thought. But he didn’t know what this one meant. She liked control during sex. Not control, exactly, but she didn’t want to be vulnerable.
The thoughts swirling through his mind twisted his gut, making him want to find who had done this to her, whatever “this” was. Because he knew that something bad had happened to her, even if he didn’t know the specifics.
After a while, Derick yawned, but he still didn’t want to lose this connection with his lovely neighbor. Still, they needed sleep. He’d ask her in the morning. Shifting, he pulled out of her body, smiling when she muttered a protest even in her sleep.
Moving to the bathroom, he cleaned up, then came back to bed, pulling a light, cotton blanket over them. He arranged her against his side, making sure that, if she woke up, she wouldn’t be overwhelmed by his weight, and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
Chapter 8
Carrie slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb Derick. Grabbing her tee shirt and her panties, she tiptoed out of his bedroom and down the stairs, wary of making any noise. She was halfway across the lawn when she felt him watching her, but she continued walking back to her house, needing a shower. She also needed to curl up with a cup of coffee so that she could process what had happened last night.
As she walked through her bedroom to the bathroom, her eye caught the envelope. She hated that envelope, but kept it close, just in case she needed it for…whatever. So far, she’d only kept it to remind herself of what she’d gone through. A reminder of what could happen to her if she lowered her guard.
Like last night.
Smiling at the memory of how wonderful Derick had been, Carrie shook off the concerns that she might have made a mistake. It was one night. One night only. One blissful, wonderful night.
She showered and pulled on a clean pair of jeans and tee shirt, wishing now that she had something that fit her properly. She’d lost a lot of weight. Boy, John would be thrilled with her figure! He’d called her fat so many times…! She stopped the memory from fully forming in her mind. That was in the past, she thought, turning away from the mirror. Looks weren’t important. They were…superficial.
She almost danced down the stairs, but faltered slightly when she came to the bottom step and looked out the window. Derick was standing on her front porch, staring out into the woods
Opening the door, she stepped out beside him. “Is something wrong?”
His hands were fisted on his hips and he looked pretty hot in his Army uniform. Broad shoulders strained the olive colored tee shirt.
“You left me this morning,” he replied.
Of all the things he might have said, that was the last thing she would have expected. “Um... yes but…”
“I feel cheap.”
Cheap? Her hand flew to her mouth in order to stop her burst of laughter. “I’m sorry,” she finally said, struggling to appear serious. “I didn’t mean to cheapen what we shared. Is there some way I could make it up to you?”
He stepped closer, nodding. “Yeah. You can kiss me.”
Carrie’s breath caught in her throat. She inched closer, but hesitated as she reached out to touch him. “Um…well, it’s broad daylight.”
A dark eyebrow lifted at her objection. “So?”
“Wouldn’t a kiss be…awkward?”
He moved even closer, pulling her flush against him. “I don’t know. Let’s find out.”
And then he kissed her. His mouth, his hands, his tongue, his body…all were involved in the kiss. It was erotic and sensual and every part of her came alive, wanting last night to happen all over again.
Unfortunately, he pulled back before she’d had enough. She could see the triumph in his eyes as he stepped back.
“Have dinner with me tonight?”
She nodded automatically before she could think twice about the implications of her agreement.
“Good.” And then he was gone. His long legs carried him back across their yards and he swung easily int
o his truck.
Carrie’s fingers rested over her tingling lips as she watched him drive away. With a smile, she walked back into the house. For some reason, the work was much easier today.
Chapter 9
For two weeks now, Carrie lived a fantasy life. She’d spent every night in Derick’s bed. Sometimes he’d cook dinner when he got home and sometimes, she’d have dinner prepared. They never really talked about their meals, but they sort of evolved into a rhythm. And it was nice. Really nice!
After dinner, they cleaned up his kitchen, talking about whatever came to mind. Then, he would take her hand and lead her out onto the back porch and they’d talk more. Sometimes about politics and Carrie was surprised to find their views were so closely aligned since she was a liberal democrat and she assumed he was more conservative. But she found that she was more fiscally republican and socially democratic. As was Derick. So their conversations were spirited and enlightening.
Carrie smiled as she walked through the newly painted living room, wondering where her “one night” discipline had gone.
But she didn’t care! Not one little bit!
As she poured coffee, Carrie stared out the window and saw Derick come out of his house in just a pair of jeans, holding a cup of coffee. He turned to glance towards her house and Carrie smiled as warmth rushed over her. He used to step out of his house and look towards his garden. Now he looked towards her. She knew there could be no future for them. She’d have to move on, and that day kept creeping closer. But for now, she was absorbing every wonderful, tender moment with Derick. Carrie promised to savor every one of his tender, gentle caresses that never failed to make her crazy in bed and warm her heart all the other times.
Instead of standing there sipping coffee and watching him, Carrie slipped her feet into her work boots and, with her own coffee in hand, walked across the grass to meet him.
“Good morning,” she whispered softly, wanting to preserve the serenity of the sun coming up, the mist that had settled over the earth. She loved this moment when the air was damp with humidity and everything seemed to pause, as if the birds and the crickets and the blades of grass were just waiting for that sunshine to inch higher in the sky and warm everything up.
Derick (Delta Forces Book 3) Page 4