by Nana Malone
Her brain tried to give the command to let go of his hand or pull back. Something. Instead, they stayed locked in that position. The charged electricity tore down the walls between them, baring their souls to each other. The only word that her brain registered was…want. Even after that mind-numbing orgasm last night. One he’d given her with very little effort on his part. The heat pooling between her thighs didn’t lie. Even if she’d admonished herself a million times since running out of his flat that morning, it didn't change the fact that she responded to him in a way she didn’t think she’d be able to respond to anyone ever again. What the hell was wrong with her?
And then she felt it, the stroke of his thumb over her knuckle. He might not even have realized he was doing it because his wide-eyed expression mirrored her surprise.
Jerking her hand back, she turned her attention to Abbie, who was now glaring at Xander. Imani tensed. Shit. Was she about to be at the center of some kind of lover's spat? Stupid, stupid, stupid. It was totally not her fault. The guy was walking sex appeal…with a penchant for hookers. Okay, maybe a little her fault. She plastered what she hoped was an appropriate mea culpa expression on her face.
But when Abbie turned to face her, her expression was just as warm as before. "Why don’t we get you set up with lighting."
Uh, okay… Maybe they had some weird polyamorous thing going. No judgment. Except, maybe, a little judgment. She couldn’t imagine sharing someone like Xander.
After she cleared her throat and regained her composure, she said, "Sure thing," then led the way down the stairs to the stage, refusing to turn back. Even though she could feel the heat of Xander's scowl on her back.
What the fuck? Xander stared at his hand flexing it, then stared back up at Abbie and Imani's retreating forms. His life had just gotten a hell of a lot more complicated. He nearly vibrated with anger and residual need. He’d known the girl was no escort, but this? She’d taken a hell of a risk last night for what? A role? Research? What if he’d been some kind of nutter?
"Is there a problem?" Charles's soft question was his first clue that he was acting like a complete nutter. Bloody fantastic.
"Nope. Everything’s wicked. Let's get started, shall we?"
"Yeah, right this way. For this shoot, we wanted to focus on the announcement of the leads. The final play each year is usually a pretty big deal. It’s an even bigger deal this year because of the play and our actors. Ryan has been building a portfolio here in Britain for years now since he was a child, so he's well known. But Imani is a newcomer.”
Ryan interjected. "Let me just say I'm a huge fan of your work. I was at your gallery opening at The Tate."
"Uh, thanks." That opening seemed like a million lifetimes ago.
"I'm excited you're going to be photographing us. Imani's pretty nervous, so if you need help getting her to cooperate, I can help with that. We’re pretty close."
The note of boastfulness set Xander’s nerves on edge and he slid Ryan a glance. But the guy wasn’t looking at him. He was looking at Imani. Xander didn't like the proprietary way he looked at her. It was clear to anyone that this moron wanted her. And that knowledge was enough to nearly blind him with rage. Mine. He’d been the one making her come last night. Just the mention of her name was enough to set his teeth on edge and he clamped his jaw together. Fuck, he really needed to get a grip. Get your shit together.
Charles continued. “Obviously Imani’s American, one of the few in the program, and she's for all intents and purposes the star, so it's really her debut and we want to make it as splashy as possible. Alex McQueen is the writer and it's an adaptation of his novel from two years ago."
Xander remembered the one. It was a gritty tale of a woman's journey from the back alley streets of Soho where her mother had been a prostitute to Fleet Street and the love she had to give up to get there. It had won a slew of awards both here and across the pond and sat at the top of the charts for months. McQueen had said that he would never turn it into a film but would only support turning it into a screenplay for stage. For RADA to have it was a huge coup, especially since it could display on the West End and on Broadway.
He had a hard time accepting that that little slip of a girl could carry a role like that. "Is she any good?"
Charles grinned. "She's amazing. And the best part is she has no idea. She embodies both the ingénue and the vamp. It's why the selection committee chose her to attend here. Imani slips in and out of characters so easily, like she's putting on a pretty frock. No matter how ugly the role is, she attacks it. You think she is the character. You should come to the opening. I'll secure you tickets."
Bollocks to that. There was no way he was sitting through a performance with that girl. Especially since he already knew how soft she was. His cock begged to differ as his erection strained against his jeans. He’d likely have a permanent imprint of his zipper.
Maybe it was possible for Abbie to do this one on her own. She’d been working with him for months now, she was good. Very good. Anything to avoid being this close to Imani. Coward.
In the distance, she and Abbie laughed over something and it felt like he was punched in the gut. His gaze flickered to Abbie first, but it was Imani that held it. With an animated smile on her face and her eyes lit with humor, she was stunning to look at.
Easy does it. He sucked in a deep breath and tried to steady himself, but his brain conjured up scenarios he didn't need. He already knew how she kissed, how soft her skin was, what her pussy felt like milking his fingers. The part of his brain he normally kept under lock and key conjured up darker images that made him tight and itchy. Like that wide sexy mouth and what would it look like wrapped around his—
“I’ll just help Abbie get set up, then we’ll be on our way.” Xander unpacked his camera and attached the strap to keep his hands busy. Excusing himself, he started with the lighting set up. Normally Abbie would do it on her own, but he needed something more to do with his hands.
From the corner of his eye he watched as Charles had Ryan and Imani take their marks. Imani recited several of her lines and he stared. Hell, everyone stared. It was just a couple of lines, but for that moment, she commanded everyone around her.
Abbie’s voice broke his reverie. "You want to tell me who shoved that stick up your ass?"
Xander cocked his head. "I'm British, this is just how I am. No stick up the ass required."
"Don’t be daft, Xander. I know when something is going on with you. You want to tell me why you’re being such a douche to that girl?"
She always knew when something was going on with him and he didn't like it. She was privy to information about his past that he would rather not have her know. "I'm not being arsey. I'm just getting ready to work."
"Like your brother would say, bollocks. What’s going on?"
He ground his teeth together. What the hell did she know? "Everything is fine. Let's just get to work."
She spread her arms. "I came ready to work. You’re the one acting all crazy. Sniping at that poor girl."
“Fucking drop it, Abbie. You are my assistant. Act like it.”
She blinked at him in surprise, then threw her hands up. “It’s your show. Like always. But try to keep in mind that this is my career too. I’m hitched to you like an unwanted albatross. So your damage is my damage.”
He could see the hurt in her eyes and he wanted to make it better, to soothe the lash, but he couldn’t seem to contain the anger ricocheting inside him.
He snatched up his favorite Nikon and left Abbie to finish the lighting. He didn't need the shrink lesson from her. Not right now. He had work to do.
Eight
Imani placed her hands against the brick in the courtyard and sucked in several deep breaths. What the fuck was she going to do? She would give a million dollars to start the day all over again. As it was, she was already in the hole a couple of grand. What was a million more?
“Think, Imani, think. There is a way out of this mess. You jus
t have to find it.” One problem at a time. Of her current stink piles, Ryan was the most pressing. She had to talk to Charles—alone. And pronto. For the last two years she’d been trying to bury the memories of her first year. She’d worked her ass off to get back to normal. No way she was going back to being that girl. “Are you out here hiding from me or from our new photographer?”
Hearing Ryan behind her, she whirled around with her hands up. When in doubt, go for bravado. She tilted her chin up. "Maybe you've forgotten how this works. You stay the fuck away from me, you don’t touch me, you don’t speak to me, you don’t even so much as look at me and you get to keep your nutsack. I can’t imagine that is hard for you to remember. What the fuck are you doing here? You must have known I had the lead."
His smile was slight, but practiced. "Charles called and it was a good part. You can’t expect me to not take a job that would be good for my career.”
She shook her head. “I should have known all those pleas for forgiveness were total bullshit. You gave me your word, but here you still are.”
He ran his hands through his hair. “Look, what happened between us was…regrettable. But I don’t know how long you expect me to pay penance for it. I fucked up. I know it. I’ve said I’m sorry. I’ve given you space to heal or forget or whatever. But I need to work. If you don’t want to be near me then you can quit.”
Anger coursed through her, making her vibrate. “Regrettable? Did you just fucking say regrettable? You know what you did to me. You knew the second you did it. That’s why you showed up at my flat the next day crying like a baby, begging for my forgiveness. And you thought I would just conveniently forget? That it’s been two whole years so I wouldn’t remember?” She stared him down, daring him to refute her words and he had the good sense to slide his gaze away. “What you did…” Her voice broke and trailed off. How dare he stroll back into her life and think she would have no problem with him?
“I’m sorry, Imani. I never meant to hurt you. But it’s been long enough. You can’t punish me forever.”
She dug into a well of strength she wasn’t sure she had, but she wasn't letting him get away with this like he had before. She was not the same girl, alone and ashamed and willing to accept her culpability. “Why don’t we call a spade a spade, Ryan? You raped me. I loved you and you raped me.”
He flinched backward as if she’d physically slapped him. “You know it wasn’t like that. You act like I was some stranger who dragged you off the street and assaulted you.”
“You did assault me, you piece of shit. I said no.”
He took a step toward her and she immediately took one back. “I’m not going to hurt you. Jesus, Imani. We had been drinking. And you—you were looking so beautiful and you were my girlfriend. And you wanted me. I know you did. It wasn’t like I was trying to hurt you. I just wanted to be close to you. I never—Fuck. I didn’t know you were a virgin. I thought you were messing me about.”
Hearing those words from him was like having a bucket of ice poured over her. “What part didn’t you understand, asshole? When I said no? Or the part where I begged you to stop? Or the part where I said that you were hurting me? Or maybe it was the part where I was crying uncontrollably as you kept going?”
He tightened his jaw. “You need to know I’m not that person. If I’d known, I never would have—“ He inhaled deeply. “You were my girlfriend. It wasn’t like you said. I’m not a monster, for fuck’s sake. I loved you. I still care about you. But I can’t have you saying these things about me.”
“So what? You plan on shutting me up somehow? You’ve already done the worst thing you can to me.”
“No. I just want to make sure we can work together. That’s all. I wouldn’t hurt you.”
She raised a brow. “You’ll forgive me if I don’t believe you. As for working together, you can forget about it. There is no way in hell.” She tried to brush past him, but he reached out and snagged her upper arm.
“Imani—”
A voice from the auditorium door interrupted Ryan. “Ellison, I’ll be needing our star now.”
The ice in Xander’s voice chilled her to the bone. How much had he heard? Ryan’s grip tightened for a moment, then he released her. “We were just catching up on old times.” His voice dripped with venom and he glared at Xander.
Xander leaned into the open doorway, his camera slung around his neck. He looked entirely relaxed, but there was something in the way he narrowed his gaze at Ryan that told her he was anything but. Ryan shoved past them, leaving them in the doorway.
They all stood like that as if in a silent play. But finally, Ryan exited through the main entrance. Even with him gone, she didn't relax. “I guess you’re ready for me?” She asked him quietly.
Xander nodded slowly. "If you're done making out with your boyfriend, I'll need you on stage.”
She flinched as she thought about how they must have looked. “Not your business.”
His voice low, he said, “Even after what happened last night? Tell me, can he make you come like I did last night?”
She scowled at him.
“I’ll take that as a no. Just tell me, what are you doing with that cunt?”
Did he really think she wanted to be there with Ryan? To have his hands all over her? She spoke through clenched teeth. “Screw you.”
Xander smirked. “Does last night count? Because I feel like we’ve already done that.”
In that moment, she wasn’t sure whom she hated more, Ryan or Xander. As she walked toward the stage, she heard a voice behind her. “He’s kind of an ass sometimes. But I promise you, he has some redeeming qualities, you just have to find them.”
Imani glanced up when Abbie joined her in the aisle. “I assume you mean Xander. And if that’s the case, I’m going to have to take your word for it.”
“I wasn’t the biggest fan of his when I met him either. I promise you, he grows on you.” The other girl nodded reassuringly. “Like a fungus.”
Despite the morning she was having, Imani laughed. “Thanks. I was sort of in need of that.”
“Anytime. His heart’s mostly in the right place. He can just be an ass sometimes.”
“I don’t know how you manage to work with him.”
“Between the women literally running over me to throw themselves at him, to the assitude we just discussed, I expect canonization any day now.” Imani wondered if she’d gotten it wrong. Maybe the two of them weren’t a thing. Or at the very least, as far as Abbie was concerned.
“You’ve got my vote.” They climbed the stairs to the stage. “Where do you want me?”
“We’ll start with you on the Fleet Street set first, over here. If you don’t mind, let’s sit you on the edge of the desk.” Set design had been working for months already, so luckily some of the sets were already in working order.
“Sure thing.”
While Abbie arranged her, she whispered. “Look, I know you don't know me, but I have to ask, mostly because I wished someone had asked me. Are you okay? You know, with Ryan. I wasn’t spying or anything, but I saw how he grabbed you in the courtyard.”
Heat suffused her face. “Great, did everyone see?”
Abbie shook her head. “No. I was about to come out there when Xander stepped in. I just know what it’s like to need someone to ask me if I was okay.”
“Truth?”
Her new friend nodded.
“Probably not. But I will be.”
“Okay, but uh, if you need someone to talk to, I’m around. I know what it’s like to date or have dated the wrong guy.”
Imani rapidly blinked the tears out of her eyes. She had a hard time believing this confident girl had once been like her. “Ryan was a mistake I made a long time ago. Never to be repeated.”
Abbie nodded. “Glad to hear it. Offer stands anyway.”
Where was this girl two years ago when Imani was desperate for someone to talk to? “Thanks. I appreciate it.”
“Listen, if you w
ant, some of us are headed out tonight. You should come. You look like you could use the fun to take your mind off today.”
Fun. That hadn’t been part of her vocabulary for a while. She still had to figure out how to help Ebony. But a night out wouldn’t kill her. Maybe if she were less stressed, she’d come up with a better solution to her problem. “That actually sounds like a good idea.”
Nine
The last place on Earth Xander wanted to be was at this club tonight. From start to finish, the whole fucking day had been shite. Not entirely true. It had started good with Imani in his arms, but from there completely downhill.
He’d started out the day desperate to have her. But then she’d vanished on him. Only to resurface in the one place he didn’t need her. Complete with a twat of a boyfriend. Fuck. This shite would only happen to him.
He hadn't meant to act like a total arse, but seeing her there had thrown him for a loop. All he wanted was a chance to have a private conversation with her. But he’d had a job to do. And Abbie hadn't really left his side for most of the shoot. No real time to say, Hey, about last night. You know when you pretended to be a hooker and gave me the hottest orgasm I’ve had in years, I’d like a repeat.
And by the time he’d finished with the rest of the cast she was long gone. He was still holding out hope for Miriam, but she hadn't texted or called him back all day.
At least he now knew where to find her, though Charles had said proper rehearsals didn't start for another two weeks. So the timing was bad. He needed her help in less than a week.
The music blared, the latest hip-hop track mashed up with house music underlying it. All of Alexi’s friends had come out to congratulate the happy couple. The idea that his brother was getting married still seemed insane to him. When had he grown up?
"You look like you are in need of another drink."
It was hard not to smile at the infectious blonde with the bubbly personality and the Geordie accent. Tamsin was one of Abbie’s best friends and spent a good deal of time at the studio, in particular when there were male models being shot. "Thanks, Tams, but I've probably had enough."