by Hazel Keys
“Eh, drama is just a part of life. Definitely a part of romance. But I think sometimes you need a little drama. It’s the price we pay for finding something magnificent.”
“What’s worth all this stress?”
“Love is always worth it. And when you find it, Conn, you’ll realize it was always worth fighting for.”
**
I talked to Dana again in her apartment. She was definitely admitting to me what she felt by now…that she was just as hungry for me as I was for her. But damn, she’s such a good and caring person, her first instinct was to think of Cammie.
“We both betrayed Cammie,” she said, grieving and drunk, disgusted at herself, me and everything in the world. “I don’t blame you, Connor. It was my weakness. It was my selfishness.”
“No,” I said firmly. “It wasn’t anyone’s weakness. I’m tired of thinking of this as a weakness. This is what I want, Dana.”
I looked her in the eye and held her hand in a loving grasp. “I never once felt bad about any of it. If I was moving too fast, then okay fine. But I never doubted what I felt was sincere.”
“I know…but…”
“But nothing. I want to be with you. I want us to explore this together, at your own pace. Nothing too fast or too intense. Just easygoing, the way you would have it. You’re not the only one who deals with doubt, you know…but we take it one step at a time.”
“It’s not that, Connor,” she said. “It’s about finding the right place where we can all be happy.”
“Yeah I know,” I said in frustration. “I just don’t see why Cammie’s feelings are more important than mine.”
“It’s not about importance, silly. It’s just that she’s our friend. She’s our family. And you don’t treat people that really matter like shit.”
I shrugged and finally nodded in acceptance. She was right. I complained about Cammie, we all did…but it was damn true that we insisted she be involved in our lives. Mom and dad taught me to stay close to family. And if Cammie was upset about what happened, she deserved an apology. If the reward for all this legwork and buddying up and apologizing was Dana’s heart and a clean conscience…then it was damn well worth it.”
**
Cammie said she would talk to me, but that she was busy working all day and night. I wasn’t sure if she was making that up just to punish me with an extra day of worry, or if she was legitimately busy.
But I have to give Jake credit. He decided to take me out for a drink and cheer me up though he hardly knew me. He even invited his friend David along. Apparently David was happily engaged to this woman named Amelia or something like that. Eh, newlyweds. You can always tell. They’re so damned happy.
“Lighten up, dude,” Jake said, tapping our beers together. “Women are just goofy sometimes.”
“Oh yeah,” David said matter-of-factly, already drunk. “The entire enigma of women can be summed in two words: Illogic and irrationality.”
“Isn’t that three words?”
“Don’t be a grammar Nazi!” David replied.
“‘And’ doesn’t count as a word!” Jake said.
“Oh. I see. So you don’t think I should apologize?”
“Well…see here’s the thing,” Jake said, motioning his arms and ready to give me a tough life lesson. “You see when I was young…my mother told me…”
“Oh God,” David whined. “I can’t listen to this shit anymore.”
“Excuse me? I’m just getting started making a speech!” Jake said. “You drone on for hours when you’re lovesick about Amelia. But you don’t even give me ten minutes to talk some sense into Connor here?!”
“It’s not that,” David said, standing up and pacing around the bar. “There’s something else, Jake. Something big. And I have to tell you what it is.”
“Oh my God. This sounds big. Is it big?” Jake said, looking at me in interest and then back to David. “Is it huge?”
“It’s monstrously huge and big.”
I shook my head and chuckled. I told the rest of the story to my half empty glass of beer. It was obvious these guys were all absorbed in their own problems.
“Amelia is pregnant…” David said, staring at us both.
Jake’s mouth dropped open.
I just smiled in confusion, since I barely knew who the hell Amelia was.
“OH MY GOD! You lucky bastard!”
“I know, I know!” David said, smiling and turning beat red.
“You perverted son of a bitch! You totally came in her pussy. What a porn star thing to do!”
“Heeey!” David said. “She’s a mother now. You can’t demean her like that anymore.”
“Ahh, right. The sacred mommy oath,” Jake said with a nod. “Sustained, your honor. But oh my God that’s so magnificent!”
Jake and David hugged in giddy excitement.
**
Who was I kidding? I didn’t really need a pep talk. I knew I hurt Cammie and I knew that Dana needed Cammie’s good wishes before she could really give this thing a try. And all that really mattered at that moment was that they needed me to intervene. I had to be strong. They were counting on me to make things right.
I looked to the sky, for once no longer feeling that strange urge to jump into the sky and escape my problems. Now flying halfway across the world was pointless. I had already found what I was looking for. I wanted Dana. I wanted to grow with Dana and see where this thing took us. Could it be love? Could it be something deeper than just friends with benefits? I felt it in my heart every second I looked into her vulnerable eyes.
I was home with her. That was the day I realized there’s no longer any reason to run or fly away from what truly made me happy. All that was left to do is to make things right.
***
Chapter 6:Dana
“So…what do you think?”
Connor and I look nervously at each other and back to Cammie again. She finally had us both over and was ready to talk about the incident. Or as we call it “RestroomGate”.
I felt bad about going behind Cammie’s back but I really wasn’t sure what we were doing and if any of this was really happening…it was like a blur, emotionally speaking. Just doubt one minute to surprise and total shock…and then a nice and calm feeling that just came out of nowhere. I was surprised by how powerful it felt, to be in the arms of a friend…and to cross new taboos with him just the same. It was the kind of relationship that defied all logic. And maybe that was what we both really wanted.
I didn’t expect Connor to understand my plight. Deep down, yes, I hoped he could somehow fix everything and make everything perfect. A perfect world where we could be together and Cammie would still be my best friend. It was something worth fighting for, for sure, since they were the two most important people in my life.
“Of course I knew about it,” Cammie said. “I just knew probably way before you realized I knew. I’m pretty good at figuring people out you know.”
“We really didn’t know how to tell you,” I admitted. “And Connor…”
“Connor,” Cammie interrupted. “The truth is, I have always been so protective of you…I sometimes forget to step back and let you be who you need to be.”
“Well…for what it’s worth, you were right. None of the other women I liked were right for me. Because Dana is the right one.”
“At first I thought it was weird,” admitted Cammie. “But the more I thought about it, I realized I wasn’t angry. I was just…relieved.”
“Relieved?”
“If you two only knew how much I worried about you,” she laughed with a bittersweet smile. “You’re the two most important people in my life. I always worry about one of you making a mistake and falling for someone that’s going to treat you like dirt. So the idea that you two could be together…and look out for each other…it was a relief. I could sleep a lot better knowing that there really is no better person that either of you could ask for. This really is as good as it gets.”
“S
o…you’re okay with it?”
“I am. Just uh…” She laughed. “Just be careful about kissy stuff in front of me. Because my natural instinct is to scream, Hey that’s my brother, and Hey that’s my best friend! So it’s a little confusing…”
We laughed and hugged Cammie, relieved that our family unit wasn’t shrinking…just expanding. We could still be together as friends, family and trusted confidants. This was truly home…a home I would never have to leave behind ever again.
**
“So did you really say you were in love with me that one time?”
“Err, perhaps,” mumbled Connor, a bit embarrassed.
“No, don’t feel bad. I think it’s cute.”
“Are you crazy, Dana? I really like you. I’ve always thought you were beautiful. I just didn’t know all these years that all we needed was just a few nights together to fire up that spark. And once I realized that romance could be something even better than friendship…I just knew. I’ve trusted you as a friend for as long as I’ve lived.”
“I always liked you too. Maybe I projected onto you what was really wrong with me. I cared too much about what Cammie thought rather than just making a play for you. But once we took that chance…we took a risk. And it felt more amazing than I ever thought it could.”
“Yeah. And I’ve always loved you. I just didn’t realize how intensely I loved you until I found out that there are so many layers. You’re quirky on one layer…”
“Oh?”
“Smart on the next layer. Compassionate and caring on the next layer. And on the next layer…just amazing in the way you see me so deeply and intimately. A connection I’ve never felt before.”
“You missed one layer. The smoldering siren sex layer.”
“Ah, yes, that is a very important layer,” he laughed.
“So what did it?” I asked curiously. “When did you realize you liked me? You know…not just talking about the restroom incident?”
He laughed. “Well, that definitely helped . But…I think it was just when you told me you remembered what I said. About marrying someone from the ocean.”
“Really?”
“Yes. It just showed me in that moment, you really listened to me. And you were right. I always wanted to run away, swim away, fly away…I figured someone that understood that would finally get me.”
He grabbed my hand and stared deeply into my eyes, baring his soul.
“But you showed me something profound. That we owe our friends and family. Your loyalty to Cammie proved to me that you take family and friendship seriously. And you would rather hurt deeply inside than hurt anyone else. And I love that. You’re right…we don’t leave just because we can. We don’t stay behind just because we’re trapped. We want to stay where our home is. This is the life we’ve chosen.”
He touched his finger to my forehead, stroking my hair away from my eyes and captivating me in a moment that I never wanted to end.
“For my whole life, I’ve always been hooked on what everyone said I should want. What my mom or dad told me I should be looking for. What Cammie thought I should go after. And all along…I never actually gave any thought to what I really wanted. It felt invigorating to take a chance. To go against all reasoning and just kiss someone with no expectations except random chance. Inexplicable attraction. And I was so happy I took that chance.”
“To be completely honest, I really didn’t think I could ever nab your attention. You know how hard it is for nerds to attract the jocks, right?”
“Nerd…” he laughed. “No way. You’re a beauty queen, Dana. It was an experiment that ended wonderfully. And now…you’re the one I want. I want to date you. I feel something real for you. And God woman, I’ve gotten every last person’s permission on god’s green earth to pursue you. Cammie, Stephanie…who else do I need to apologize to? Jake? The woman selling funnel cakes at Six Flags?”
I laughed. “You can’t blame me for celebrating a little bit. It’s always nice for a girl to hear when a man is SO devoted…so determined…he’s willing to jump hoops and run the track just for a chance to take a girl out.”
“I am,” he answered with a smile. “As a matter of fact, I owe you a real date for a change. We made out on a roller coaster and consummated our relationship in a restroom and a car. Maybe a nice dinner would be the craziest idea we have left.”
We both cracked up. He waited until I stopped laughing, reached out with his hands slowly and kissed me. He kissed me like a man on top of the world, and nowhere to land but in my arms. I was his happiness, I was his prize at the end of the race.Connor is an absolute gentleman and is able to console the woes of the world on his enormous shoulders. He is the hero I love…the hero I have always loved.
**
For our next rendezvous Connor gave me my lifelong fantasy to join the mile high club in the bathroom. Of course, like many people I was confused at how difficult mile high bathroom sex really is. First of all, Connor couldn’t really stall the plane in mid air just to take a sex break! Second, even if we rode on a commercial airliner, almost no one actually has sex in that little cramped compartment. The ones that do are usually fined or arrested and embarrassed beyond belief when they’re caught and shamed in public.
But Connor, being the cool guy that he is, did manage to pull a few strings with his pilot buddies. He rented a mile high club private jet and had a pilot buddy of his to take us up a mile into the sky to celebrate our love.
It was an amazing experience, to be intimate with a pilot while the actual plane flew so high and so turbulently. That rascal pilot buddy of Connor’s even gave us a few swoops and harsh turns, just to help our mile high club feel properly air bound. Every thrust his warrior cock gave me coincided with the deep shifts of the plane itself—the very movement of the sky, the winds—free as a bird I was. In my lover’s arms, I held on tight, at this moment not really caring whether we were in the air or nose-diving into oblivion. Because this is where I wanted to be—forever in his arms. The last memories of my life with him, him inside me, the two of us breathing for each other, trapped in ecstasy. Finally, his eyes focused only on me and nowhere else. In the air, on top of the world…
**
The room was lit semi-dark with just a few candles. We all felt it to be a romantic evening, and one that we would all surely remember. Not just because of the blissful feelings of love in the air, but also because I managed to get all six of us cruise tickets sailing the great Atlantic Ocean.
I took my date Connor, the tallest and most good looking man in the room, though I admit I’m a little biased. He brought with him his sistersCammie and Stephanie, and Stephanie’s boyfriend Jake. Jake brought along with his BFF (or the guy equivalent of a BFF, whatever that is) David and his wife Amelia, who was now preggers.
The whole lot of us talked all night, trading memories of childhood, growing up, mistakes, crazy shocking moments of romance, and of course, how our friendships defined all of our lives and the loves of our lives. Cammie was the only odd woman out but I figured her time would come soon enough. No one can escape love forever…it’s far too powerful and positive a force to resist. Love is a warming glow in a cold and biting world…we need more and we need to give it more freely. Beyond romance, even in the everyday interactions we have among our fellow humankind. Kindness and cooperation is what keeps the world turning.
The guys eventually started chatting among themselves, right about the time we decided to speak on good fashion sense, with Cammie leading the way and showing off her knowledge.
“Love means falling in love with your best friend,” I heard David say. “Whether you know them for a few weeks or thirty years…there is a bond there that can’t be broken.”
“Yeah that’s all well and good,” Jake added, “But to me love is also about mystery. About surprise. Sometimes when we least expect it we find what we’re missing in life. How about you, Connor?”
“I believe life, love and happiness are all the same thing, jus
t different clouds in the same sky. Sometimes we just have to look out the window, shut up for a while and see the beauty in our own lives.”
As good an answer as I ever heard, and to this day, still enjoying our ten-day cruise, it is still how I define all of what’s happened to us thus far. Even today, as I look into the morning sky, its reflection glistening on the waves below, all I see is opportunity. An open canvas of time, space and activities. But we’re all home, because we’re all safe in each other’s hearts.
****THE END***
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FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS
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Chapter 1:“The Present”
A lot of people ask me, how did you two meet? Everyone thinks that falling in love with the right person is like a “true love at first sight” moment. I tell them we were friends first and they still seem to think, “Yeah…but there had to be a moment when your friendship ended and you crossed over into romance.”
This isn’t true.at least from my perspective. When I first met David, which was many years ago when we were both children, I wasn’t immediately turned off by him. I didn’t friend-zone him or anything like that. You could even argue that one or both of us were asexual versions of ourselves, since we were so young. We were aware that we were the opposite gender. At any given time through adolescence and beyond, when you’re aware of the scandalous fact that you have a vagina and he has a penis, of course, you think silly thoughts about what your children might look like or what if you both slept together one drunken night.