by LoRee Peery
Grace. Was she safe? Things had been quiet from the direction of her home. Do You want me to attempt to befriend her again, Lord?
Aiden halted, a step in front, and reached back for her hand. “You’ve really been quiet.”
“I was thinking there is still so much I’d like to know about you. You said your mother was killed in a car accident?”
“Yes. I was thirteen.”
“Tough age.”
“Aren’t all the teen years tough? Before that, our family did so much together. We’d go to sporting events on Saturday. Lunch and movies on Sunday.” He named specific outings, painted vivid pictures of what home and secure family were all about.
She’d never known such a thing. Well, maybe with her real father. But she was too young to remember.
Aiden’s talk of childhood before his mom was killed revived the sorrow she’d been aware of as a child. She’d lacked such security in her own background. “You know, I feel kind of guilty about it now, but I used to envy the closeness Eric and Moselle shared when they were kids. I felt cheated because I didn’t have that kind of love.”
“I lost such security when my mom was killed by a drunk driver.”
“People always say they’re sorry. I’m sorry for your loss. It leaves an empty place in your heart. At least you created memories with her. My mother let me down when she didn’t believe me about her husband. I never knew my biological father.”
Sometime during his reminiscing, they’d stopped walking. Aiden faced her and trilled his fingers down her bare arm, leaving goose bumps in their wake. “I know you understand the void. Sometimes, inside, I felt like the sky on a moonless night. A vast nothing. Black. But now, with Jesus, I have the Light. And I thank Him for having met you.”
“But that darkness can be lit up like the sun brightens day. When the Spirit opens up your heart and your mind and soul, God’s love replaces any unwelcome images of an earthly father.”
His eyes turned the color of mud. “I don’t want to think about my earthly father.”
“For your own peace of mind, you’ll have to forgive him. In order to grow, maybe even face him. Who knows? Maybe he’s mellowed with age.”
“You’re fortunate, the way you have faced your fears. I don’t know if I have your courage.”
“Oh, my dear Aiden, you do.” She loved to say his name. “God gives you the ability to do anything within His will. Besides, I once heard that the phrase ‘Do not be afraid’ is the most repeated command in the Bible.”
He grasped her hand and held on as though she was the larger of the two. “It’s all so new to me. I know I’m supposed to do things different, now. Guess I’ll have to rely on my faith to let me know what and how and when.”
“Baby steps.” His belief created another link, another reason to spend time with him. “Whatever happens to us in this life, God is bigger than anything we’ll face!”
She accepted his touch, grasped his warmth like a warm fire on a cold night, but stayed where she was. For some reason she couldn’t name, she was shy all of a sudden, enough to avoid looking him in the eye.
“I’ve been wondering about something. What did you do when you finally left Barton?”
“We’d been living in Council Bluffs, Iowa. Somehow, the Lord guided me into the city. Omaha. I know I was in shock, probably shaking. I zigzagged through an older residential area and finally parked in the shade. I remember a calm peace settling over me before I became aware of my surroundings. I just sat there. Watching. Waiting for the world to come to a standstill and wait for me to catch up.” The street came clearly to mind.
“I can relate. Did the same thing once in St. Paul. My father came to my dorm room. He wanted to spend time with me. I told him we were beyond that. We argued. I just stomped away and got in my car. I finally pulled over on a side street until I had it together enough to get behind the wheel again.”
Caught up in the vivid memory of the scene, she went on, as though Aiden hadn’t commented.
“The streets and sidewalks were active with busy neighbors and their day-to-day comings and goings. I wondered what went on behind those closed doors, if it was normal family life. I asked myself if I’d ever live like that. But what’s normal?”
She stayed where she was, still connected, but looking off over his shoulder. “I just sat there in my rusty, red car. Parked car doors slammed. An Irish setter let out into one yard didn’t like where he was. He whined and paced and leaped on the chain-link fence. If someone walked by, he went noise crazy. On the other side of the fence a young woman, probably in her twenties, used a bent snow shovel in one hand, to pull dead vines off the house. All the while, she cradled a cell phone. I thought surely she’d get a crick in her neck. I can still see the way her hair was knotted on top of her head, even now, maybe since I had reached a crossroads.
“A delivery truck rumbled to a stop, a noise so familiar I didn’t have to look behind me to know what it was. He crossed the street so fast, he almost ran down a fragile-looking old lady, even though she was at a fast–paced walk.”
“What are we talking about here, Beth? Sounds like life to me.”
“Exactly. That’s when I realized life goes on. Each of those people was doing his or her thing. God gave them the grace to continue living. As goofy or pointless as some of it looked to me, I wondered if I would ever find a place to belong. Then I found that place in a relationship with the Lord. He reached out to me, called me to Himself while I was in rehab.”
She hugged his arm and leaned against his shoulder. “I’m so thankful you’ve accepted His free gift.”
“Amen to that. Let’s get moving.”
They continued on for a time, side by side, holding hands. Aiden stepped in front to hold back a branch for her. She took it slow, watching her steps. All of a sudden, she bumped her nose into a solid mass, unaware he no longer moved. She inhaled through her nose instead of making a vocal sound of surprise.
He reached for her hand, grasped her wrist, and pointed. A pair of fledgling mourning doves nestled near an exposed tree root, their gray-brown bodies so camouflaged, she wondered how he’d ever kept from tromping them.
The birds didn’t move. Aiden sidestepped and they hiked on.
Her musings moved on as well. Aiden. As long as Barton was on the loose, Beth endangered the dear man as much as she had Lakota. The men may be physically matched, but she believed Barton was capable of killing.
She refused to go there.
The touch of Aiden’s hand resurrected teen hormones. She accepted the jittery, quivery, goose bumpy bundle of nerve endings and gave in to impulse.
She planted her feet. He cut her a questioning glance over his shoulder.
She walked her fingers up his arm, followed the bony point of his shoulder; explored the cord in his neck, whispered over his jawbone.
And got no further with her exploratory journey.
Aiden yanked her high against him and pressed his mouth over hers.
She returned as good as she received. Lost in the moment, the sensations of physical awakening threatened to rage out of control.
Caution swam to the surface. Not a fear compared to threats she was used to, but a fear caused by her own primal reaction.
Reality intruded on euphoria.
Shaken, she stiffened and pulled back. Lips were the last point of contact.
Wow. Talk about visceral.
“Wanna tell me what that was all about?”
“I could ask you the same. Living in the moment. Just living in the moment.” And she’d have to find somewhere else to live her moments as soon as possible. She cared too much for Aiden’s safety to stay in Platteville with the looming threat of Barton endangering her loved ones.
His puzzled look cleared. “I believe I can get a cell signal now, let’s see how our Lakota is living in the moment.”
She stayed inside the tree line while Aiden went close to the road to use his phone. As much as she loved it here, she�
�d have to somehow let her relatives know she was leaving, without telling them where she was going. Just in case Barton tried to track her down through them. She wouldn’t put any more people she cared for in harm’s way.
She thought of her part-time work at Frivolities. Even though Moselle, Geneva, and Lanae counted on her, there was surely someone in Platteville looking for a part-time job.
At least the cabin was at a point where teenagers could do the finish work under a carpenter’s guidance. She wouldn’t be letting down Pastor Rick if she left now.
Beth watched Aiden turn towards her as he ended his call. At the flip of his phone, his troubled look snared hers.
“What?” she croaked.
“That was the vet. Lakota got to his feet and paced the cage. Dr. Maahs said the wolf had been drugged enough. The transport van came and took him.” He looked aside and blew a gush of air. “Can’t blame the man for wanting the wolf gone.”
“What?” This time the word quivered as it escaped. “But Dr. Maahs said, to use his words, he had the impression Lakota was comfortable around people.”
“You and Grace may have had the impression he wouldn’t do you harm. Beth, as close as you believe you became to Lakota, wolves are wild. Even those raised in captivity can’t totally be trusted.”
Her eyes pooled.
“Come on. I did my best here. Please don’t cry. He’ll be just fine. Everything is taken care of. He’s safe, now.” He reached for her hand, she jerked it back. “He’ll recuperate in a separate kennel and dine on raw ground beef and trout, same as the pack.”
She clenched her teeth. “I wanted to say goodbye!”
“Honey, I know you care for Lakota. But please realize that his safety, and those he comes in contact with, is not about you.”
“But it was, don’t you see? He was hurt because of me. I endangered an endangered animal.”
“And I put you in harm’s way by not being nearby to take the knife instead of the wolf.”
She stiffened. Her tears dried on her cheek. “Keeping me safe is not your job, Aiden.”
“I should have been here, all the same.”
12
Aiden took down his tent in swiping jerks. What good am I? I should have been watching over Beth every second.
Her heart had gone out to that animal, and he hadn’t been here to prevent the wolf from getting hurt. Now that the wolf was recovering, his job in Platteville was done. Time for him to leave.
He wanted to stay and protect Beth. Take her to see her wolf.
But responsibility called him back to his job in Lincoln, and wherever other creatures took him into the field across the southeast corner of Nebraska.
He felt lonely already. He’d miss the spitfire who had gotten under his skin with her blue-gray eyes and blonde hair. The sick feeling in his gut persisted. The certainty he was leaving his love, a piece of his life, in this little cabin near the Platte River.
Who would protect Beth in his absence?
That’s not your job, an inner voice said, repeating the very phrase she had used.
His thoughts tumbled over themselves. He gave his head a shake. It didn’t help clear his mind. The wolf got hurt on his watch. As far as he was concerned, Lakota was now taken care of. Game park workers would apprise him of his whereabouts, unless by some odd miracle, the wolf indeed was integrated into their pack.
He had to prove himself so Beth would think the best of him. How in the world could he take off with Littlefield still on the loose? Leave her to fight alone against the brute, entertain another battle like the one she had lost in the past?
But to Beth’s way of thinking, she had won because she came out clean from addiction and with the Lord on her side to boot.
Aiden lumbered onto the cabin porch, checked the door. Secure. He ran an eye over the goofy shoe-art tree. He stepped off the wooden structure and sauntered around the clearing, taking the longest route to where the Jeep was parked. No more excuses to dally.
He drove under the speed limit all the way into town, and parked in front of the flower shop on Main Street. Ten minutes later, he ventured into Frivolities. Beth caught his gaze and sent him a heartwarming smile. “Be with you in a minute, Aiden.”
He made sure he didn’t crash into a montage of Fourth of July stuff on his way to her side. And then it slammed into him. This is what grace looks like.
After all that Littlefield had done to her, how could she find it in her heart to forgive the callous man? Stop. God forgave her for the life she’d led. He’d forgiven all of them.
Beth sacked up the customer’s purchase and said, “I hope your mother likes the gift. Thanks for shopping at Frivolities.”
Leaving this town, this woman, was one of the hardest things he’d ever faced. He pulled his hand from behind his back.
“Daisies! Aiden, how in the world did you know they’re my favorite?”
“Are you kidding? You admire the wild ones. I’ve seen them in a bottle on the picnic table.”
She reached for the daisies, held them out to the side, and kissed him right on the mouth.
His knees went weak. No bigger than a minute, and she had the ability to turn his insides to mush.
“When I got out of rehab I decided I could treat myself. I bought daisies, then. And I thank you now.”
“Daisies were my mother’s favorite flower. Once those ox-eyes get going, they grow like weeds.” He drew a petal between his fingers. “After Mom died, my father mowed any Shasta daisies over or dug them up.”
“How sad. I’m sorry, Aiden.”
“Doesn’t matter.” He looked sheepish. “I can’t believe I just told you that.”
“Thank you. It shows you consider me a friend.”
Beth, girl, I long for you to be so much more than a friend.
“I hate saying goodbye. There’s so much left unsaid. You have the strength of an Amazon woman, the way you returned to this town as part of dealing with your past. I can’t imagine the courage it took, when people probably remembered you as a wild child. Then finding sanctuary in that cabin in the woods, facing your fears, and facing a wolf.”
“God has His hand on my life. Look at the company He brought me in the woods. Lakota and you.”
“Barton knows where to find you.”
“God will never put me in a situation where He isn’t right there to protect me.”
A noisy bunch of teenage girls trounced through the door.
“I’m sorry. I need to assist them. Call me, please? And thanks so much for the daisies.”
He turned too fast and ran into a hat tree, knocking red hats and straw hats and who-knew-what hither and yon.
Moisture simmered in his eyes, threatened to spill over.
“Just stack them up and I’ll take care of it,” Geneva said.
He gave her a nod and exited the store, wondering if he’d ever see the women’s shop or Beth Phillips again.
On the sidewalk, Eric Todd’s insurance window caught his eye. Aiden tromped across the street, eating up the few yards to the office door, only to find it closed.
He retraced his steps, passed Frivolities, and rounded the corner. He covered ground in a red haze of something he couldn’t name. When he caught sight of the activity in front of the fire house, he wanted to join in and blow off agitated steam.
Eric Todd and Rainn Harris, along with a couple other firefighters, were busy stowing hoses and shining up rigs.
“Hey, Aiden, just in time to help,” Eric greeted. “Meet Kory Schaeffer and Marty Marolf.”
After nods instead of handshakes because the working men had their hands full, Aiden addressed Rainn. “Gotta minute?”
Rainn Harris set down the polishing cloth and followed Aiden to the curb. “What’s up?”
“The wolf isn’t in Platteville anymore, so I have no reason to stay. I hate to leave Beth unprotected with Littlefield around. Have you or Eric seen anyone who fits his description about town?”
“As a m
atter of fact, I was planning to call you when we finished up here. I think your guy is working at a gated acreage on the way to the interstate. Maybe nine miles out.”
That would be convenient. “Got directions?”
****
He was gone. Would she ever see Aiden again? Or Lakota?
Emotions overtook her. Beth escaped to the loft and cried.
Her soul called out with every teardrop for a mate and for a family of her own.
She let it all out.
Lakota. She befriended him. Then almost got him killed.
She mourned for a loving, healthy family that she would never know.
She wept for her misguided behavior when it came to seeking favor from men.
She splayed her hands over the hollow womb where a tiny baby had once been formed, but who now resided in heaven.
She sobbed tears of happiness over healing the rift between her and Moselle. Between herself and Eric.
And she thanked the Lord for catching her tears, for erasing any guilt that could have stained her forever. She thanked Him for telling her with Jesus’ own words in John 14:27 that she need not be troubled or have a fearful heart. Today, the peace of the Savior was easy to accept.
A sobbing breath released her loneliness with the last of her cleansing tears.
Without a doubt, she knew Lakota belonged at Wildlife Safari or some other park with acres to roam. He needed a family of his own kind. Now, Aiden was gone as well.
She felt their loss, fought the emotion building in her throat, but refused to call herself lonesome. Lonely, sure. But with the Lord in her life, she’d never live in isolation, in a desolate place by herself.
The last eighteen months rolled before Beth’s eyes. The huge fight with Barton. The cracked ribs, followed by the two-day drunk to ease the pain. He’d hurt her worse than ever before. The neighbors turning him in to the police. Checking herself into rehab. Coming out clean and sober.
And the most important of all, admitting her need for the Savior. Her life was now changed forever. She planned to live free in Christ, rather than frozen by insecurity.
Her car accident when Eric saved her. Renewing her high school friendship with Moselle. Using her work experience to help out in Frivolities.