Suddenly, I worried that I really didn’t know how to behave on a real date, and I had been right about waiting to go out with Kristina. There was a distinct feeling that I could totally ruin things, and that put a lot of weight into what I said and did on the date. The more I thought about it, the less I talked. Thoughts of ruining something before it even got started weren’t at all how I normally looked at dating women. I wasn’t that kind of guy. I was the confident guy who didn’t care what he said or did because the women liked me no matter what.
This woman, though, this woman I wanted to like me. I wanted her to be as nervous as I was, yet she seemed to have everything together. An equal to me and my confidence, which wasn’t something I was comfortable with but was exactly what I had asked Patty to find me. There were no more excuses; I had to step up to the plate and see what might happen between this girl and me.
“By the way, that dress is incredible,” I muttered in the car on our way to the restaurant.
“Thank you,” she replied softly.
In such close proximity to each other, I felt pulled to her. Kristina’s eyes watched out of the car and looked upon the city, but I felt her gaze glance back toward me several times along our route. I had so much I wanted to ask her, but the silence seemed to fill the car enough for the time being.
It only took twenty minutes for us to arrive at the Ice Lounge, but it seemed like much longer. My conversation skills were tempered by all the thoughts running through my head. Each question I asked was lame, and yet she humored me and answered them anyway. The weather, traffic, and local sports teams were all in my normal first date repertoire but lacked any connection with Kristina. She humored me, looked my way and smiled, and gave me a sweet answer, but I could tell she was not impressed.
“Sorry, I’m really nervous,” she said as I helped her out of the vehicle in front of the lounge.
“Your hand is shaking.”
“I’m not usually this nervous. I have to admit I did finally get a copy of your profile from Patty, and I knew you didn’t look like George from Seinfeld,” she joked as we walked toward the building.
It was such a relief to hear her words. She was nervous. I was nervous. We were both extremely nervous. The uniqueness of our honesty was already something I had not experienced on a date.
“Umm, it’s okay to be nervous,” I said as I tried to put her at ease. “Are you still alright with going into the Ice Lounge? It’s going to be really cold in there, but they have some big coats we can wear.”
“Yes, I’ve wanted to come here forever.”
I put my arm around her and pulled her close as we walked into the cold building. At least I’d have a reason to be close to her for the next hour or so. The freezing temperatures had been a strategic ally in my date planning.
Chapter 6
Kristina
Merrick wasn’t nearly as cocky as I had expected him to be. In fact, he was really sweet and genuine in everything he asked me as we made our way to the Ice Lounge. I was so nervous, though; I could hardly stop my hands from shaking and was so embarrassed as he reached into the car to help me out.
Beth and I had practiced what I was going to say and how I was going to make it through my date with him, but I couldn’t have prepared myself for just how nervous he made me. It wasn’t even something I could put my finger on, just the combination of everything that made him the man he was.
Merrick’s shining blue eyes were too much for me, and I had to avoid looking at him as I stood next to him outside of the restaurant. But when he put his arm around me and started rubbing up on down to keep me warm, I just melted right then and there.
I didn’t care that I hardly knew this guy. I knew enough to try and relax a little. Even if he was a player like I had heard, it was alright with me. I didn’t need to find a forever guy on my first real date. We could just go out, have a fun night, and maybe even have a delicious night in bed. It was crazy that I was actually considering a one-night thing with this guy, and I quickly checked myself as I remembered that Patty had a rule in her club about no intimacy without a commitment. There would be no hot one-nighters I told myself and started to refocus on the date at hand. I had to get to know him. The real him, the guy he was underneath all the gorgeous good looks.
The idea that he also knew the same rules as I did was an instant relief for me. He wasn’t being nice because he thought he was going to get laid. This guy was actually being nice to me without the intention of sleeping with me; that made me like him even more than I already did.
He was handsome. Better looking than most of the men I’d ever gone out with, except the hot snowboarder I dated briefly a few years before. I was on the lookout for what was possibly wrong with this guy, though. How did a polite, good looking, rich guy like Merrick Stanley end up unmarried at his age? There were hundreds of eligible women who would have killed to land him and probably nearly as many who had actually dated him; why hadn’t he closed the deal?
“Let me help you with this coat,” Merrick said as he wrapped me in a floor length fur coat.
The bar was already chilly and we hadn’t even stepped into the icy back room.
“Eww, what kind of animal is this?” I cringed.
I really didn’t mean to sound like a spoiled brat or even an animal rights person. I knew ahead of time that the bar liked to give people fur coats to enter the ice room with. I’d had a friend who told me all about it. But it still really grossed me out when the coat was put on me.
“It’s actually fake fur ma’am,” the waiter said, which was a huge relief for me.
It was better than wearing a real animal’s fur but still made me feel like I was betraying all my liberal animal lover beliefs. I would have asked if they had other, non-fur coats, but I didn’t want to cause a scene with Merrick there. The coat wasn’t a big deal.
“You would think you could have found some warm coats that didn’t look like dead animals,” Merrick added and won my heart.
“This is fun,” I joked as we both walked behind the waiter and into the large ice covered room. The walls were literally made of huge blocks of ice, as were the benches and most of the other furniture throughout the room.
“Wait until I’m all hyped up on Vodka, then my personality really comes out.”
“I can’t wait.”
“We have thirteen different vodkas that you can choose from for your tasting as well as a list of preferred appetizers and desserts,” the waiter said as he handed us a menu.
My mouth watered as I looked at the menu. and thought about all the delicious vodkas they had to taste. I wasn’t a vodka specialist or anything like that, but I did really enjoy a nice vodka mixed with cranberry juice. Although, I wouldn’t dare try too many of their specialty drinks or I’d lose my ability to maintain my composure around the delicious man I was with.
“If you don’t mind, I’d just like to order one shot of each of the vodkas and one of each of the appetizers,” Merrick said without waiting.
“Sir?”
“Is that okay with you?” he asked me.
“Sure, I’ll eat the food. You drink the vodka.”
“Ha, deal.”
The waiter looked just as surprised as I did that Merrick had ordered so much. There was no way I was drinking thirteen shots of vodka or anything close to that. I could probably make it through two shots if we took our time and talked for a little bit, but by the third shot I’d likely have my clothes off and be dancing in the middle of our ice room. Being nervous and drinking never ended up very well for me; I always had a false confidence in what was going on and nearly always made really poor decisions.
“Did I tell you how stunning you look in that dress?” Merrick asked as we waited for our items.
“Yes you did, but you can tell me again.”
“That dress is amazing on you. It’s like someone took your exact measurements and hand-stitched it right there on your body.”
“Wow,” I giggled as my face t
urned red with embarrassment. “You’re good at the complimenting thing; that’s for sure. And yes, that’s exactly what happened. The lady was at my house all day stitching me into this dress.”
“I’m sorry. That was a little cheesy; it’s an old habit, but every bit of it was true.”
“I’ve got some old habits too, but none of them involve making people blush.”
“I make you blush?” he asked as he moved in closer to me, and his fingers intertwined with mine.
“I think you know that you do.”
“You made me blush in the elevator, so I guess we are equal.”
He had blushed a little when I made that flirty comment on our way down from my apartment. I was just so nervous, and it came out before I could stop myself. Typically when I was nervous, talking helped me calm down, but around Merrick, talking just made me more nervous.
I felt the warmth from his hand as he sat on the bench seat next to me, and we looked into each other's eyes. There were so many things I wanted to ask him, so many questions I had about who he was and all the other typical first date things, but I just couldn’t think of anything that was more important than how he was looking at me. His eyes locked with mine, and I felt like he was reading every dirty thought I had about him.
Could he tell I was imagining him naked right at that very moment? Could he tell that the touch of his fingers against mine had triggered my whole body to tingle with anticipation? I wasn’t in the habit of falling for a guy I hardly knew, but I was swooning over this one, and I couldn’t stop myself.
Then it happened; I saw his eye glance down to my lips and then back up to meet my gaze. He was going to kiss me! We had only been out for less than an hour, and I barely knew anything about the man, but I knew the way he had looked at my lips was a tell-tell sign that he was about to move in for a kiss.
Sure enough, I felt his body move a few inches closer to me as he focused his eyes on mine. I bit my lower lip in anticipation, and his gaze again lowered to watch my mouth.
“Here are some of your starters and the vodka,” the waiter said as he interrupted us. “The rest will be out shortly.”
The waiter filled our table with four different dishes and a row of vodka shots. It all looked amazing, but I wished he would have waited two more minutes before bringing it to us. But then Merrick, turned me toward him and gently let his lips touch mine.
My breath rushed out of me, and I got dizzy as I tried to focus on the pleasure that was going on. My hands tingled as I pressed them against his chest and let his tongue tease mine. Then just as quickly as he had swept me into his arms and kissed me, Merrick pulled away.
“I’m sorry, that was presumptuous of me.”
“And pretty much the best kiss ever.” I laughed.
The sexual tension between the two of us rivaled all my other dates combined. I’d never been out with someone who made me so weak in the knees while also appearing to be so damn interested in me. The thought crossed my mind that Patty could have actually connected me with the man I’d always hoped I would find, and it terrified me.
It didn’t terrify me because I was afraid of love; I’d searched for love my whole life. The thought that I could have these strong feelings for a man I hardly knew was what terrified me. How could I trust the emotions running through me? How was it even possible that Patty could connect two people who had never met and form the kind of fire that was building between the two of us?
“Oh, really?” he said as he turned and was suddenly interested in my opinion of his kissing skills. “Do tell me more. What made it so good? I mean, I agree, but I’d like to hear your theory on the matter.”
“I’m going to need a drink for this,” I said as I grabbed one of the vodka shots and downed it. Merrick followed suit and drank one himself.
The rush of alcohol ran through my body. I wasn’t cold at all as we sat in the small ice room. Not only was my blood pumping because of the kiss we had just shared, but now the warmth of vodka was keeping me warm as I tried to figure out what exactly it was I wanted to say about our kiss.
“I don’t know,” I said as I lost my nerve to tell him why his kiss had been so incredible.
Even a shot of Russia’s best vodka couldn’t give me the nerve I needed to pretend like this man wasn’t the perfect guy I had always hoped to date. The way he was looking at me had my mind spinning, and I grabbed another chilled shot of vodka and drank it quickly. I shook my head as the alcohol burned going into my stomach, and Merrick laughed at me. It was more of a laugh of enjoyment as he watched me squirm in myself imposed uncomfortable feelings.
“Wow, you are really adorable, aren’t you?”
“You know, I think I should eat something. Are you hungry? Let’s eat some of this delicious food. It’s never a good idea for me to start drinking before I start eating. You know I get crazy and wild and start not making sense,” I willed myself to finally stop talking.
He continued to smile and watch me as we both put some of the food on our plates, and I started to eat. I needed to get something in my stomach to absorb all the alcohol I had just finished.
“So you work in fundraising?” he asked just as I put a bite of food in my mouth.
“Yes,” I replied as I tried not to be rude and talk with my mouth full. “I’ve worked in the area most of my life. It’s a fun field, and I love helping people.”
“I work with a lot of different charities. I think that’s important for everyone, but especially because I run a big company. Wealthy people have a big responsibility to give back to their communities.”
“Yes, me too. I mean, I think charity is important, not that I run a big company.”
“I get all kinds of people calling and trying to get me to donate to their causes, though. It gets really hard to say no sometimes, but I try to donate only to causes that I know about and really believe in. I also like to stay involved as much as I can on issues that are important to me and my company.”
Suddenly, my whole conversation with him the other day came rushing back to me. How on earth was I going to explain to him that I knew who he was after all? That I indeed had talked to him before he had ever called me up and asked me for a date. I should have just blurted it out right there at that moment. It was our first date; he would have understood, and maybe he would have even thought it was funny. But I lost my nerve and stuffed more food into my mouth before I could blurt out what was on my mind.
“Do you get a lot of people who hang up on you when you call for money?” Merrick asked as he took a third shot of vodka, and I followed him.
My nerves were getting the best of me, and I would have done anything to calm myself down. I wanted to tell him the truth, but I also wanted to avoid the whole conversation we were having.
I couldn’t stop thinking about this story I had seen on the news a few months before. In the story, a woman talked about how she had lied to her husband when they were first dating. She had lied about being a virgin, so it was a totally different sort of lie, but the guilt she held was huge. For twenty years, she carried that guilt and never told her husband; when she finally told him, he didn’t care at all. It was as if she had tortured herself for years for no reason at all. I wasn’t certain, but I did think I needed to tell Merrick about the conversation the two of us had over the phone. It was before I knew I was going to go out with him, so it wasn’t anything bad. I just had to gather the nerve to tell him.
With a third shot of vodka rushing through my system, I turned my body toward Merrick and let my hand sit on his thigh. It caught him off guard, and I felt a little silly for acting so forward around him. That wasn’t who I normally was; I especially wasn’t like that around a man as intimidating as Merrick Stanley.
“My job is boring; let’s talk about something else,” I whispered as I leaned in close to him.
I didn’t have the nerve to tell him yet. I tried to muster it, but there was nothing there. Our date was going so well, and I hated the idea of ruining i
t by bringing up that conversation we had about my charity.
“Yes,” he whispered back to me as his hand matched the placement of mine, and he let his fingers slide toward the inner part of my knee. “I’d really like to talk about this amazing dress.”
His voice was deep and sexy. It mesmerized me, and as he moved in closer to me, I felt my body soak with desire for him. I wanted him. I needed to feel his hands and his lips on my body. At that moment, I decided I was going home with this man; there was no question about it.
“It’s from a local designer,” I replied slowly.
“We should go there, and you could give me a little fashion show. Maybe try on some of her other dresses.”
“Wow,” I said out loud although I didn’t mean to.
Merrick smiled and then moved his lips to kiss the side of my neck. I moaned out slightly at the touch of his soft skin against mine. He knew I wanted him. There was no way he didn’t know this; everything in my body was screaming for him to touch and play with me. I quickly realized how this man had gotten the reputation for being a ladies’ man, and I didn’t care at all. He deserved all the women he got if he looked at them the way he was looking at me.
“Should we eat some more?” he whispered as he came up from kissing my collarbone.
“Eat? Um, yes, I should eat,” I said as I grabbed another vodka shot and then put some more food on my plate.
I was hungry, and I was starting to get hot. I wouldn’t have thought it was possible to get hot in the middle of an ice lounge, but Merrick had every nerve in my body on fire. He watched with amusement as I ate some more food and tried not to make eye contact with him. The nervousness that rushed through my body was totally uncontrolled. I tried to reel it in, but I just couldn’t get a hold of myself. My body was on autopilot around Merrick.
“You know what? I think we should go for a walk,” Merrick said as he threw some money down and grabbed me up from my seat. “I’d really like to spend some more time with you, and my fingers are going numb.”
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