My memories are still scattered, which is no wonder when you read how many times they fed me the drugs to reset me. I doubt I’ll ever recall my life before waking up in Richland clearly. The memories I have are dreamlike, I know things like my birthday, where I was born, and my parents’ names but I can’t tell you about my first date or the family vacation we took when I was fourteen. The memory center of my brain is Swiss cheese.
After reading the file for himself, Bastien kissed me and promised to make new memories together.
The Bonvillian family is recovering. No one wants to breathe for fear it will upset the balance. Bastien is withdrawn. The discovery that Athan is alive rocked the family. He’s alive, but lost to them. It's a bitter pill to swallow. Adele took it hardest. One day, I found her watching Livia while she played chess with Claude. Adele looked sad. She caught me staring and hastily left the room. I followed her, never one to let well enough alone.
“Adele, wait. Talk to me?”
She tries to wave me off. “Why? I'm never kind to you. Why would you want to know my troubles?”
Smiling, I shrug. “I’m stubborn. I don't give up.”
“Not a bad quality,” she chuckled. “When I lost Athan, it devastated me. I let the pain of losing one child get in the way of caring for my other two children. Then they were gone too. I made so many mistakes. How do I ever make it right?”
“You may not be able to. You can’t change your past, but don't make more mistakes on top of the old ones. Livia is your second chance. Be her grandmother. Over time, Bastien and Madalaina may come around when they see the effort you are making with their niece.”
“I can understand why my son took you as a mate,” she praises. “Can we also move towards an accord?”
“Sure. Just don't vote for my execution anymore,” I say.
Adele has a very beautiful laugh.
Athan still hasn't come home. It's been two months since the siege. Bastien waits for him every day. He sits on the front steps of the Bonvillian house. His loyalty is inspiring, but I can't let him continue. Each night when he finally comes to our bed, he’s exhausted emotionally. He gathers me in his arms and holds me while I sleep, but he never sleeps. I despise Athan a little more each day. He steals my husband’s soul with his absence. I daydream about finding Athan and zapping him until he glows blue. Before I can completely lose it, a letter arrives.
To my family,
I am sorry I continue to stay away. My disappearance causes you pain and my refusal to return causes more. I cannot explain my actions except to say that I am not ready. I’ve been nearby, watching. I missed much of your lives, and I grieve for the time I lost.
Madalaina has grown into a beauty. Father must be beside himself over the wolves at the door.
Father, the wolves stand no chance but guard against mangy cats. I am trying to be the man you would want me to be. Please have patience.
Mother, patience has never been your virtue. You will be mad at me. I can hear you in my head telling me to stop shirking my duties. I love you, Mother.
Bastien, stop sitting on the porch. Your beautiful new mate is waiting for you. Don't lose her because you are too busy looking for me. You’ll be a great Alpha Prime, I have faith in you.
Rachel, thank you. I owe you my freedom. My last message is for Livia. You may choose when she’s ready.
Livia, I am the man that fathered you, but I cannot be your father. We’re genetically linked and always will be a part of each other. I care for you and want you to be safe. I want you to stay with your Uncle Bastien and Aunt Rachel. I suspect over time you will come to know them as your parents. You deserve a happy childhood. I know my brother, he will be a wonderful father. I’ve watched Rachel with you. She already loves you like a mother would. Go and live a wonderful life. One day, maybe we will see each other again.
Sincerely,
Athan Bonvillian
The letter provides closure. Adele is surprisingly okay with Athan's choice.
“He’s haunted. He does not wish to bring his demons into our home. I would commend any other man for such a choice, why not my own son?” she says.
Claude is visibly saddened, but stands behind his wife's belief that Athan is making the best decision. It is selfish of me, but I am relieved. I do love Livia like my own. Giving her up to Athan would break my heart.
As the Alpha Prime, Bastien must put this behind him. He has too many relying on him. I think knowing Athan is okay, or as okay as he can be, helps lighten his soul. We chose to tell Livia an abbreviated version of Athan's letter. It will be saved for her when she’s older. For now, she knows her biological father is Bastien's brother, and he cannot be here to care for her. We asked if she would like to live with us, she cried and threw herself in my arms. Fear of being taken away finally relieved. She calls me mom. I’m the only mother she has ever known. Weeks later she asks Bastien if he thinks Athan would mind is she called Bastien dad. He assures her it would be fine with Athan and that he will be honored if Livia calls him dad. The day I woke up in the white room, I never dreamed it would lead me down a road to family.
Epilogue
Rachel
Six Months Later
I am happy, my life is relatively normal. Bastien is occupied with pack affairs. I’m recognized as the alpha female of the pack. A few women tried to push the issue but quickly learned I don’t need teeth or claws to force their submission. My arcana has finally stabilized. Dr. Keller keeps a close watch over me. He’s studying all the samples Doctor Morris gave me to ensure they can never be used against us. We all suspect the government had a part in Richland's research. There are too many unanswered questions regarding his funding. For now, there is peace.
I see Varian Caina when I visit Dr. Keller. He’s an odd vampire, I think he’s sad but tries to hide it. He’s a friend and is especially fond of Livia. Bastien says he was a recluse before, but since everything went down he’s been trying to forge relationships. I hear he spends a lot of time with the Regis and a vampire princess names Tsura. The gossips running the rumor mill swear there will be a wedding alliance between Varian and Tsura, but I don’t believe it because I saw how he looked at Winter. I think he still mourns her death.
Madalaina parties too much in an effort to drive off her mother's attempts at affection. I hope they can find a way to work things out. I worry about her, but Bastien assures me she has a constant shadow watching over her, probably Cleary. She misses her friend Winter. The body of a Fae man and a woman was found burned beyond recognition. The official report from Fairy claims it was Winter and her cousin Kiril.
My darling Livia is turning six this month. She blossomed so much under the love of her family. She attends a private school and has many friends. Adele worried she would be an outcast, a thought that made the werewolf fighting mad. It never happened. Livia draws people to her like a beacon of light.
Bastien and I are in love. He hasn’t spoken the words, but I am confident it’s true. I’m not confident about how he will take the news that I’m pregnant. As often as we have sex I can't imagine he will be surprised. I’m stalling. Nerves flutter in my stomach. Livia is playing in her room.
“Rachel, can I talk to you in the bedroom?”
I think Bastien suspects something is up. When we’re alone, he looks at me expectantly.
“Mind telling me what is going on? You are wound tighter than a jack in the box.”
“How can you tell?” I ask.
“You spin the bracelet I got you when something is on your mind.” He grins.
I look down at my wrist, sure enough I’m twirling the silver fleur de lis infinity bracelet round and round by the royal blue cord. The fleur de lis charm matches the tattoo on Bastien’s arm and the infinity symbol represents our future together, he gave it to me on the one month anniversary of our mating.
“I'm pregnant,” I blurt out.
Bastien turns green. He gently lays a hand on my stomach. “Are you okay? Have you s
een a doctor?”
“I'm fine. We're fine. Dr. Keller says other than a slightly quicker development than a human child, our baby is fine. Right on target for shifter babies. He doesn't think what Richland did to me will adversely affect the baby.”
He touches his forehead to mine, “Thank God. I can't lose you Rachel. I love you too much to ever be without you.”
Tears fill my eyes. He loves me. “I love you, too. Are you happy? About the baby?”
“I am overjoyed about the baby.”
His lips touch mine in the sweetest kiss. Through the mate bond, I feel his love for me. Intense and true, mirroring my own.
“Let's go tell Livia she’s going to be a big sister.” He grins at me.
“Don't forget your Mom and Dad.”
Bastien groans. “Mom is going to be a pain in the ass, you know that, right? You’ve seen her with Livia. I won't be surprised if she sets up guard in the baby's room.”
This moment is perfect. I close my eyes to permanently etch it into my memory. I can’t wait to see what the future holds.
Thank you for reading Rising Shadows. I hope that you enjoyed it.
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Keep reading for a special sneak peek at book two, A Scarlet Fury.
It’s Madalaina and Cleary’s book!
Coming in summer 2014
Keep reading for an excerpt.
A Scarlet Fury
Setting my bag on the bed, I tell him, “I really appreciate you letting me crash with you.”
Cleary leans against the door frame with his hands in his back pockets. He grins at me and says, “Stop thanking me, Mads. I told you over a year ago you could stay here if you needed to.”
I look down at my feet. That was before everything happened, back when I was whole.
A hand brushes my shoulder making me jump and yelp. I whirl around and take a defensive stance ready to a protect myself.
“Whoa! Easy, Madalaina.” Cleary backs away, palms up in surrender. “You looked like you were thinking some pretty heavy thoughts, I wanted to bring you out of them before they settled you in a funk. Guess I missed my window of opportunity.”
Anxiety and embarrassment color my cheeks, I’m mad at myself for overreacting and mad at Cleary for making me feel this way.
“I don’t like to be touched, not anymore.” I know I’m being a bitch, but he needs to know not to let this happen again.
Cleary takes his sunglasses off so I can see the sincerity in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Mads.” Those three words speak volumes, he’s sorry for this moment and all the moments before. I should tell him it’s not his fault, that he has no reason to be sorry but I stay silent.
Sliding his sunglasses back on, he breaks the moment. “I’m gonna head back to the living room, maybe play a video game or take a nap. If you need anything, you know where to find me.”
He closes the door on his way out of my new temporary bedroom, which is actually his bedroom. Cleary’s personality is evident in every inch. Why did I think this was a good idea?
Copyright © 2014 by Bridget Jackson
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