by Annie Seaton
He bit his lip as he walked towards his horse.
He’d built up a dream of what he wanted to happen. But what was that saying?
It takes two to tango.
Because she was going back to the city. He was kidding himself. He was just a nice little sideline for her while she was here.
Filling in her nights. Flirting. Sleeping with him. A toy boy. Garth slammed his fist into his palm and his horse jumped as he approached.
“Sorry, Brownie.”
He knew he was being unfair, but the thought of Lucy leaving left him cold and empty.
All along, she’d been up-front about going back to the city, but foolishly, he’d thought he could entice her to stay. He was the fool. How could you fight something like that?
He kicked at the dirt as he led Brownie past the dead snake and over to the gate. The snake was black and covered with ants, and he stood there staring at it for a moment. Maybe it was time for a wake-up call.
Chapter Nineteen
Lucy closed her eyes and squeezed back the tears as she drove back to the main road to Prickle Farm. Regret sat in her throat like a brick. Why couldn’t Garth understand how she felt? How many times had she tried to tell him she was not going to stay?
She’d known straight up that he’d been hurt when she hadn’t included him when she’d discussed catching up with Rod. She should have turned to him and said, “How about it, Garth?” but that would have been publicly outing them as a couple. And they weren’t. And she didn’t want them to be.
Did she?
Oh, hell, I don’t know what I want.
The look on Garth’s face and the tightness of his lips as they’d driven out of town had upset her. He was being unfair. She’d made it quite clear to him all along what she wanted.
He was country.
She was city.
Hell, it would make a perfect song.
And his words when he’d lashed out at her had shown her that in bucketloads. They were totally incompatible. Except they were perfect together… They enjoyed each other’s company and they had so much in common.
Lucy shook her head as she slammed the car door in the hay shed. She was going to have to forget all about Garth Mackenzie and move on. It would be a lot easier when she was back in Sydney, and it was time to do something about that.
Gran and Pop were out visiting a neighbour, and Liam looked at her curiously as she clomped up the back steps.
“Everything okay? Good trip? How was Sydney?”
“No.” She choked back a sob. “I had to take Garth to town. Jack got bitten by a brown snake in the front paddock.” Hopefully, Liam would think she was upset about the dog. She was, but Rod had assured them Jack would survive.
“Gran and Pop rang. They’re going to stay out for dinner. Are you going to Garth’s?” Liam hurried up the steps to the verandah that went around the whole house.
“No. I’m tired and I’m not hungry. I’m going to have an early night.”
He laughed. “I was sure you’d be over there again tonight. You haven’t seen him much in the past week.”
Lucy whirled around, and Liam bore the brunt of the feelings that were surging through her. “Well, I’m not, and I wish you would all stop assuming we’re a couple. We’re not, and I’m going back to Sydney in six weeks. Remember?”
Her face crumpled and she burst into tears.
“Hey, Luce.” Liam’s hand on her arm stopped her from opening the door and running inside. “What’s wrong? Really?”
Lucy’s shoulders sagged, and Liam pushed open the door and held it open for her. “Come and sit down and tell me what’s wrong. I’ll get us a cold drink.”
Lucy flopped onto the soft lounge and lifted her face up to the cool air puffing out of the air conditioner. She was pleased that Gran and Pop were out. At least there was only Liam to see her have a meltdown.
He walked from the kitchen and handed her a glass of juice with ice cubes clinking in it.
“So spill. You obviously need a shoulder to cry on. Did you and Garth have a blue?” Liam pulled up a wooden chair and sat in front of her. Lucy grinned through her tears. His face was grimy, and there was a line of red dirt where his hat had caught the perspiration as he’d worked out in the hot paddocks all day. He totally looked the part of a cattleman.
“You’ve really taken to country life, haven’t you?” she said.
“You have, too. You’ve fit in so well you could join the County Women’s Association and enter their bake-offs.” Liam tried to jolly her along. “I’m sure you’d win a prize for your cakes at the agricultural show.”
She shook her head, and her lip quivered. “But that’s not what I want to do.”
Liam leaned forward and took her hand. “Is that the problem? You don’t know what you want?”
“Oh, I know what I want.” Lucy’s smile was bitter. “I want Garth. But I don’t want to live out here. And I can’t have one without the other.”
“Very true.” Liam nodded. “Take care that you make the right decision, Lucy. I made the wrong one a few years back, and I’ve regretted it ever since.”
“What happened?” Lucy stared at him. “That’s if you want to share.”
“Water under the bridge now. I can talk about it without it hurting too badly.” His voice was sad, and she stared at him.
“I fell in love with an Aussie girl I met in London. Angie’s work visa ran out, and she had to come back to Australia.”
“And?”
“She wanted me to come back with her, but foolishly I put my career first. It was before the first round of job cuts in Fleet Street and of course, I planned on being the next Clive James.” He lifted his head, and his eyes were bleak. “Too late I realised I shouldn’t have let Angie go.” His laugh was bitter. “And the irony? I’m back here now, my journalism career’s over, and I’m making a new life she would have loved.” He shook his head. “She’s a country girl, and she was doing a vet exchange just outside of London.”
“Can’t you get in touch and let her know you’re home?” Lucy frowned. It all sounded so simple when it was someone else’s problem.
“Nope. Too much pride. Last time she emailed me, she had a new man and was living happily in Victoria. She doesn’t need to know I’ve come home. No point.”
“I think you should.” Her voice was emphatic.
“No. We’re as different as chalk and cheese. I’ll let her be. She’s found her happy place. But what about you? We all have opinions about other people’s lives, Lucy. I think you should give Garth a chance. You obviously love him and he loves you. Have you told each other that, or do you skirt around it like Angie and I did?” Liam shook his head again and lifted his glass. “Does it really matter where you live if you love somebody? Think about it, Lucy.”
As he held her eyes, Lucy could see the sadness in their depths, and that stayed with her when she went to bed. She tossed and turned as she thought about what Liam had said. But his well-meaning advice didn’t change her mind. A few minutes before the lights of Gran and Pop’s Lexus flashed through her window, she heard Liam’s truck start up and wondered where he was going. She climbed out of bed and slipped a pair of long, loose pants over her pyjamas.
“Hey, Luce. You’re up late.” Pop was almost as sprightly as he had been years before. He crossed the kitchen and picked up the electric jug. “Cuppa?”
“Yes, please. Where did Liam go?”
“He went to turn the irrigator off. He’s a good lad,” Pop said.
“Everything okay, love?” Gran patted her hand as she sat at the table beside her while Pop rattled around the cupboards reaching for cups and saucers as the jug came to the boil.
“Gran, I have a huge favour to ask.” Lucy managed to keep her voice steady.
“Anything, pet.” She looked up at Pop as he took the milk from the fridge. “Harry, there’s some of that cheesecake lattice slice in a Tupperware container on the bottom shelf. I think Lucy needs some cheering
up.”
Lucy waited until Pop joined them at the table, and Gran pushed the sweet, creamy slice over to her. Lucy shook her head. “No thanks. I’m putting on weight with all this country cooking. Too much good food and not enough exercise.”
“Well, I’m having some.” Pop picked up a piece of slice and smiled at her as he chewed. “You were too scrawny when you got here, anyway. So what’s the favour?”
“I know we changed the conditions of what Gran had asked for originally, and said we would stay for three months and then come back after the others had their turn, but I need to go back to Sydney.” She rushed on quickly. “I need to go back and do some work. I’ll come back later in the year and I’ll stay longer after Jemmy and Seb go back.”
Pop and Gran exchanged a knowing look.
“You really don’t need me here at the moment. The harvest is almost over. All I’m doing is cooking and filling cake tins and helping”—she picked up her cup and took a sip of tea as her voice threatened to break—“and helping Garth get his garden in order. And that wasn’t really part of the deal, and I’m not pulling my weight anyhow, and you really won’t—”
“Lucy.” Gran’s voice was firm, and she took Lucy’s hand. “You can do whatever you want. We’re not going to hold you to that silly idea I had. I was so worried none of you would want the farm, I was too hard on you all by setting conditions. Pop and I know you all want to keep the place, and whatever happens we’ll work it out. You have your own life, and you have commitments.”
Tears filled Lucy’s eyes. “Oh, Gran, really?”
“Really. We’re together again as a family, and I hope that we won’t go back to the way we all were. No matter what happens here or where you all end up.” Gran looked at her with shrewd eyes. “Although I must say I’m surprised. I really thought Jemmy would be the one to go. I thought Garth Mackenzie would keep you here.”
Lucy dropped her head to hide the sadness she knew was in her eyes. “No, we’re too incompatible; we want different things out of life.”
Gran took Lucy’s hand and rubbed her thumb along her skin. “Are you sure, Lucy? That boy loves you. I know he does.”
Lucy’s throat closed and she shook her head, waiting until she got control of her voice again. “Yes, I’m sure. We’ve had fun, but Garth would want things his own way in the long run. It’s easier for me to go back sooner than later.”
The back door opened, and Liam’s voice drifted through as he yelled at the dogs. Lucy and Gran exchanged a smile. Liam had settled onto the farm as though he’d been born to do it. He walked in and looked around.
“Yum, lattice slice.” He reached out, and Gran slapped his hand away.
“Go and wash your hands, Liam. I shouldn’t have to tell you. You’re too big for that.”
“Irrigator all sorted?” Pop looked at him curiously. “You were a while.”
“One of the grain trucks had a flat, so I helped them change it.”
Lucy leaned back in her chair and watched as Liam left his boots by the door and headed into the laundry adjacent to the kitchen. As he walked back into the kitchen, his broad smile turned into a frown. “This looks serious. Have I missed another family talk?”
“Lucy is going back to the city a bit early,” Gran said with a smile. “Her employers need her, and we’re all good here.”
Liam’s gaze was shrewd. “So that’s why you’re running away, Luce? Your employers want you?”
She could hear the disappointment in his voice, and Gran looked at them both with curiosity as Lucy snapped back at him. “Don’t judge me by your experiences, okay?” She shoved her chair back. “I’m going to bed. Good night.” She strode to the door and then paused and turned back to the table, dropping a kiss on Pop’s bald head and hugging Gran.
“Night, you pair.”
She knew Liam’s eyes were on her, and she didn’t care. It was the only decision she could make. Garth’s attitude this afternoon had given her the opportunity to pull back.
It was time to leave before it got really hard.
Chapter Twenty
Once you made a decision, there was no point hanging around. Lucy looked around the room as she shoved her clothes into her bag. In the time she’d been here, she’d settled in, and it was going to be lonely going back to her apartment in Newtown, but it wouldn’t take long to get back into her old routine. And the bonus was that Seb and Jemmy were in town until they came back here, so she would still have family around her.
“Lucy, telephone!” Gran called down the hallway as Lucy was in the bathroom getting her toiletries.
Her stomach tightened, and nausea actually skittered up into her throat.
Garth.
She didn’t want to leave on bad terms, but she wasn’t ready to talk to him yet. She’d prepare what she was going to say and find him in the paddocks before she left.
“Tell Garth I’ll call in and see him later, please, Gran.”
“It’s not Garth. It’s Rod from the vet in Spring Downs.”
Lucy hurried down the hallway, worried that Jack had had a relapse after his snake bite. She took the phone from Gran. “Hi, Rod. Is everything okay? I was going to call you later.” She crossed her fingers behind her back; she’d totally forgotten about having dinner with him on Saturday night.
“Yes, all good here, Lucy. Listen, something’s come up on the weekend and I can’t make dinner. We’re having a quiet day on the surgery because of the agricultural show up in Coonamble. Half the town’s gone up there. I was wondering if you were coming into town at all through the week? I have some news for you, and wanted to catch up.”
“I’m actually going back to Sydney today, but I could call in and see you on the way.” Lucy turned away, aware that Gran was standing next to her, her ears flapping and her lips pursed.
“What time are you leaving?” Rod asked.
“I’ll be getting away in the next couple of hours, so I’ll be in town around lunchtime.”
“How about I meet you at the RSL club for lunch. It’s cool there, and they don’t do a bad meal. You have to eat if you’ve got that long trip ahead of you.”
“Sounds good. See you then.”
Lucy walked past Gran without satisfying her obvious curiosity.
The farewell with Gran and Pop a little while later was a happy one.
Pop whispered into her hair as he held her close. “Love you, Lucy. And promise you’ll be back soon, okay?”
“I promise. And you can come to the city and visit me, too, you know.” Lucy held out her arms to Gran and hugged her. “Love you, too, Gran.”
Gran reached up and wiped away a tear, but it was a happy one. “Get away with you. Enough of this lovey-dovey talk.” But she held Lucy close for a minute before she let her go.
Liam was out in the hay shed as Lucy carried her bags to the car. Gran and Pop stood on the top step.
“I’m going now,” she said.
“I can see that.” Liam’s gaze dropped to her bag. Lucy had loaded the rest of her stuff, including her computer, into the car earlier.
“You’re going to see Garth, I hope?” he said quietly as he lifted a load of hay onto the back of the truck next to the cattle salt blocks.
Lucy bit back on the retort that sprang to her lips and huffed a patient sigh. “Yes, Liam. I’m going to see him on the way out.”
She leaned over and kissed his cheek, but before she could step back, he held her arm.
“Lucy, be very, very sure you are doing the right thing. I would hate to see you hurt.”
“I will. I haven’t made any decisions. I’m going back to the city to think about it.” Her words surprised her. But it was the truth.
Not that there was anything to make a decision about. They’d had a relationship, but there’d been no talk of commitment. Just realization that she was city, he was country.
“I have to get going; I’m meeting someone in town for lunch.”
Liam nodded and turned back to the
truck. “Make sure you ring us when you get home.”
“I will.” Lucy smiled at him. “And thanks, Liam. It’s good to have you back in my life.”
She opened the car door and started the engine, then waved to Gran and Pop as she drove slowly past the house. The road out to Spring Downs was dry, and red dust flew behind her as she accelerated towards the turn-off. As the gate of the Mackenzie farm appeared in the distance, Garth’s Land Cruiser turned onto the Spring Downs road ahead of her.
Damn, I should have called before I left. She tried to keep up with him to see where he turned off, so she could follow him and stop and say good-bye, but his ute roared ahead and she couldn’t keep up. Gradually, the white ute disappeared over the crest of a hill, and by the time she reached it there was no sign of him ahead. There were a couple of tracks leading to the back of the large Mackenzie property, and Lucy slowed her car. There was no dust hanging in the air. Garth must be heading into town. She’d try to track him down there. It wouldn’t be hard. A bank, a newsagent, a garage, a produce store, the milk bar, and the RSL comprised the whole business area. There wouldn’t be many places to look.
By the time she approached the fifty-kilometre per hour zone at the edge of Spring Downs, it was almost noon. She drove slowly down the main street, looking for Garth’s ute, but there was no sign of it. Guilt trickled though her. She hated leaving without saying good-bye. There was only one thing for it; she would call him from Sydney and have a good frank talk about how she felt. And maybe about what they could do about it.
Lucy shook her head as she parked. Maybe if she waited for half an hour or so, Garth would turn up in town.
Rod was waiting for her in the bistro, a huge jug of iced water in the middle of the table. He stood as she crossed the empty restaurant to join him. He took her hand and leaned over and kissed her cheek.
“I’m so pleased you had time to stop on your way to Sydney.” He pulled out her chair for her and she sat down. “A shopping trip?”
“No, I’m going home.”
“Home? I thought you’d moved out here.” Rod frowned as he poured a glass of water, and the ice cubes tinkled as they filled her glass. “I thought you and Garth were together?”