by Alicia Rae
Copyright © 2014 by Alicia Rae
All rights reserved.
Cover Designer: Sarah Hansen, Okay Creations, www.okaycreations.com
Editor and Interior Designer: Jovana Shirley, Unforeseen Editing, www.unforeseenediting.com
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Visit my website at www.aliciaraeauthor.com
To Jovana,
An author pours out her heart while composing words and emotions on paper. When pieced together, they create the beginning of a manuscript.
An editor dedicates her time to perfect the document with proper English while also urging the author to dig deeper and rewrite parts of the script to make it shine.
Together, we create a story.
You are truly my other half on this journey, lady.
I couldn’t imagine it being anyone else.
I’ll cherish our friendship forever.
xxx
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Dear Readers
Acknowledgments
About the Author
IT WAS SAID WHO WE WERE DESTINED TO LOVE was determined by fate. They believed that finding our one and only was the easy part, and enduring such a profound long journey to the end of our days—through good times filled with laughter and sorrowful times consumed with tears—was God’s true test.
My inner faith wanted to believe this testament was true, yet another part of me was drowned by the what-ifs and the never-ending obstacles that arose in life.
Could love withstand the fight between the good times and the in-between moments?
I GLANCED UP AT THE CLOCK to see that it was only a few minutes till five. The workday was already coming to a close, yet I could not bring myself to leave, knowing a quiet apartment was all that awaited me at home.
My oldest and dearest friend, Ashlee Davis, owned a bakery called Lovin’ Sweets. As a hired helper, I decided to stay a little longer in hopes that it would give Ashlee a head start on tomorrow’s heavy list of cookie orders.
Careful not to stretch beyond my limitations, I reached up and grabbed more ingredients out of the cabinet to make another six-dozen sugar cookies. Then, I set them all on the white countertop next to the utensils I would be using.
Ashlee was not only a close friend, but she’d also taken me in a few months ago after I’d made the decision to leave my parents’ ranch in Shelbyville, Tennessee. I was hoping to heal the emotional scars from baring my heart during the most trying time in my life while figuring out the path for my future.
She’d given me a job and opened her apartment to me, letting me stay with her. I owed her in more ways than I could ever repay, and I was set on returning my gratitude in any way possible.
In the spring, I’d arrived in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, at the exact same time Ashlee’s bakery had doubled its production after she’d placed several small advertisements with exclusive coupons in a select number of local newspapers. Her increase in business had led her to placing another ad in the paper for a second full-time employee.
I was particularly delighted to see her achieving and living her dreams even though they came with her own personal sacrifices. The thought made me frown as I began rolling the large ball of dough flat with my rolling pin. It seemed our lives hadn’t quite taken the paths we had originally foreseen for ourselves. But I had to stay positive for the both of us.
The front door bell of the shop chimed, letting me know someone had entered the building. I glanced up from my workstation and looked over the counter to see Ashlee returning with a silver metal tabletop rack within her grasp. It was now empty, but she usually carried multiple orders on it for deliveries. Her white-and-silver Coach purse was casually slung over her right shoulder. With the base of her heel, she gently kicked the door closed behind her.
Ashlee’s blonde hair was pulled back into a full ponytail as she raised her brows, assessing the space in front of me. Her hazel eyes seemed perplexed. “I thought you would have gone home by now.” She closed the distance and set everything in her hands down on the bare countertop to the right of my workspace.
“I wanted to get a good running start on Friday’s hectic workload. It’s going to be a busy day for the two of us.” I shrugged nonchalantly, not wanting her to know I disliked being home by myself. I had grown up on a ranch, so quietness was unfamiliar to me.
Plus, I knew she was coming back to work late herself. It was silly for me to be in my apartment, fiddling my thumbs, when I could be giving her an extra set of hands.
“I did catch a quick glimpse of the schedule, and I must agree that’s an excellent idea.” While checking her watch, she passed by me in the direction of the stainless steel sink to my left. “Thank you for staying. I sure can use the help.” She smiled as she washed her hands and then dried them on an olive-colored hand towel. “I bet the two of us working together could knock out some serious cookie orders.”
“You know we can.” I winked at her as she settled in beside me. “Then, tomorrow won’t seem so overwhelming with all the cupcake and other phone orders that came in today.”
“Oh, that reminds me. I hired a new girl for the bakery,” Ashlee chimed in with a delighted tone. “I think you’ll really like her.”
I bounced my eyes between her and my workspace. “Oh, that’s wonderful news! When do I get to meet her?”
“Samantha will start next week.”
“She’ll begin training then?” I questioned.
“Nope.” Ashlee grinned. “Samantha has five years of experience under her belt, so we shouldn’t need to show her much, except for our specific recipes, the layout of the kitchen, and such.”
“Wow. Even better.”
“That’s what I thought,” Ashlee agreed with a giggle.
The two of us fell into a familiar routine. I separated the dough into one-inch balls and rolled them between my palms before passing them to Ashlee. Then, she placed them evenly apart onto a large cookie sheet, fluently moving through tray after tray, before taking each one to the industrial stainless steel fridge to chill overnight.
Every few minutes, I would catch her stealing a glance at me as we worked in silence.
“Is everything okay, Paige?” she asked, her voice filled with concern. “You’re awfully quiet this evening.”
“I’m doing great.” I made sure my hands kept moving, so we wouldn’t slow down. “How about you?” I tipped my head over at her, recalling she’d had plans last evening. “Didn’t you go on your date with…” I trailed off, trying to remember the guy’s name. “Sam? Steven? What was his
name again?”
Ashlee’s laughter reverberated throughout the tiny bakery. “His name is Seth.”
“Oh, that’s right.” I couldn’t help but laugh at her tone. “I take it, the date didn’t go well?”
This was Ashlee’s first official date since she had parted ways with Jayden nearly six months ago.
Ashlee sighed with great emphasis. “It was an absolute disaster, Paige.” She put our fifth cookie sheet into the fridge, grabbed another free one, and returned to her former position.
I could feel the frustration pouring out of her as we began to fill the tray.
She continued to speak, “The first thirty minutes of hors d’oeuvres, he couldn’t get over the simple fact that my name is spelled with two Es instead of ending in a Y.” She shook her head and frowned. “I just didn’t see the hilarity in it, especially since I was named after my grandmother Ashlee Rose, who passed away when I was eight. During the rest of the entree, for nearly another hour, he asked about my business, what kind of profits I made, and how many free desserts I could pass along.”
“Jeez…I’m so sorry, Ashlee.” I cringed. “That sounds rough.”
“It was brutal. Needless to say, I didn’t stay for dessert.” Out of frustration, she was literally beating the ball of dough in her hand. “You know me. I never turn down the opportunity to have cake that I didn’t have to prepare myself—particularly, if it’s chocolate.”
Suddenly, Ashlee’s hands paused in front of her, and she gazed over at me. Sadness filled every plane of her face, and it made my heart ache for her. I knew that look all too well.
She missed Jayden. He was supposed to be the love of her life, yet somewhere, somehow, things between them had gone wrong. It was just like Colton and me. At the present moment, she and I were living our lives without our boyfriends, the very men who we thought would be by our sides until the end of our days.
Ashlee’s second sigh sounded heavier and more wretched than the first. “Paige—” she broke off.
Her pain tore me in two, and tears swarmed my eyes, blurring my vision. She didn’t need to finish the sentence because I could do it for her. We were that close.
“I know, sweetie.” With the middle of my arm, I awkwardly tried to rub her in a soothing manner, mindful not to touch her with my hands because we were baking. “If you aren’t ready yet to see anyone since your breakup with Jayden, you don’t have to. Just give yourself a little breathing time.”
After a minute, Ashlee nodded. “More time,” she agreed. Her attention caught on to where I was touching her, and she peered up at me with amusement. “Are you rubbing me with your…forearm?”
“Uh…yeah,” I admitted sheepishly while retracting my arm.
“Nice.” She snorted, and I could feel a joke coming on. “Glad to know I’m worthy of a half-ass hug or whatever you call that.”
“We’ve got to keep things sanitary, you know.” I smirked. “And I wash my hands a million times a day as it is. If I have to add even one more time to that list, my frail skin might wither away—or worse, it could completely fall off.”
Ashlee giggled, and I was glad to see my friend in better spirits.
“I guess I’ll let it slide since I’m right there with you, sister.”
I rotated to face the counter once again, and instantly, I noticed the cookie dough was gone. Apparently, during our chat, we had finished chunking away at what had once been a huge ball. Ashlee’s attention followed my own.
She must have read my mind because she tipped her head at me and asked, “Got time for another batch tonight?”
“I sure do.” I winked at her.
Without thinking, I quickly reached up on the tip of my toes and outstretched my hands at the same time, so I could open the cabinets above the white counter. The most intense sharp pain flared throughout the inner part of my upper right thigh and shot all the way down the length of my leg before curving to the backside of my knee.
As my leg gave out, I was unable to stifle a sharp cry as I fell forward from the excruciating agony. I barely had time to catch myself on the countertop with my palms. If I hadn’t, my chest would have slammed into the unforgiving hard material.
“Paige! Are you okay?” Ashlee’s voice was frantic as she gripped my arm, making sure I wouldn’t end up on the floor, which was still a decent possibility at the moment.
While hastily blinking back my tears, I nodded and inhaled a deep breath.
Ashlee released her grip and hesitantly stepped away to give me some space.
I desperately tried to pull myself together, but the pain was just so overwhelming. I closed my eyes and lowered my face to the counter, burying my face within my arms. “I’m okay,” I finally exhaled on a whoosh, hoping the burning sensation would pass quickly.
“You are not okay,” Ashlee countered. “Jesus, Paige. I thought you said physical therapy was going well and that your leg was recovering from the horse accident.”
I felt myself flush. I was unsure if it was more from the embarrassment of someone witnessing my physical weakness from my leg or if I was angered at her accusation that I hadn’t healed. Maybe it was because she had simply mentioned the painful day that I had so desperately been trying to erase from my memory even though I knew she had the best intention at heart.
I had already suffered enough heartache over my accident last September. Since having multiple surgeries to implant a rod and pins into my right leg to stabilize it, I had been continuing my recovery through a grueling physical therapy program. I had a ways to go. I would have good days or bad days, and this was obviously a not-so-great one to add to my list. It was a challenging truth to accept.
That was why I was here with Ashlee—to emotionally heal and pull myself out of my rut. I needed our time to be positive and constructive. She could help keep me in the light, so I wouldn’t dwell on how I was different or impaired. I couldn’t change it with the snap of my fingers. It was an ongoing process.
I briefly clamped down on the inside of my lip, ignoring the agonizing pain currently radiating up and down my leg like a ping-pong ball, as I forced myself to come to a stand and face her inquisitive stare.
“I am feeling much better,” I said softly so that my voice would stay even and not crack. That was the truth compared to nine months ago when the incident had first happened. It was now June. “My leg only bothers me when I make sudden or swift movements, especially when I extend my limb out of its range.”
Ashlee’s face changed, her expression now full of sympathy. A moment of silence passed between us before she said, “I know you wanted space from your family and”—her eyes had that look, and I just knew she was going to say his name—“Colton.”
“Ashlee…” My tone was laced with a light warning. I wasn’t ready to deal with the feelings from leaving Colton.
“I’m sorry, Paige, but have you spoken to him at all since you left home?”
A whole different kind of pain washed over me, stealing my air. The newfound inner light that I had been trying to harbor while healing myself away from the ranch was replaced with a dark shadow. I had not only forsaken my family and home in Shelbyville, but also my heart. It ached for the man I’d left behind, and I wanted nothing more than to be in his arms again.
But things were different now. I was different since my horse accident. I was uncertain where that left Colton and me. I didn’t know if going back to the ranch life of raising and training horses were in my future anymore, and I knew that was Colton’s passion.
I was lost between giving in to what my heart wanted and yearned for and doing what I felt was right.
The pain in my leg was nothing compared to the fear and overwhelming guilt in my heart and soul from leaving my home, family, and Colton.
“No, I haven’t,” I whispered, feeling ready to crumble at any given second.
Ashlee stepped forward and set her hand on my shoulder. “Maybe you should try to reach out to him.”
I viewed her
suggestion to be equivalent to me mentioning that she should go out on, oh say, fifty dates tonight.
“Why?” I asked without further deliberation. “What’s the point of stirring the pot?” I frowned deeply as my next thought dawned on me. “It’s not like Colton has tried to see me either, Ashlee, so maybe it’s time to put the past behind me.”
Her eyes widened slightly and then tore away from mine. She had a guilty look as if she knew something I didn’t.
My heart sank to my stomach. This can’t be good news.
“What is that look for?” I probed, gently pointing my finger at her.
She gave an apologetic shrug.
“Ashlee Marie Davis, you’d better tell me this instant. Or, impaired leg or not, I’m going to tackle you to the floor.”
I was surprised by my own threat, but then Ashlee let out a squeal as she threw her hands up, as though surrendering, and I was relieved it’d worked.
“All right, all right!” she croaked out. “Colton has stopped by a few times since you’ve been here with me.” She hesitated—no doubt because of my gaping mouth. Then, she added, “He just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Her eyes narrowed, shooting daggers at me. “And you lied about that part, so I thought now might be an opportune time to admit that Colton’s checked in on you. You can’t be angry with me. I get a free pass since you haven’t been completely honest with me either.”
I attempted to follow her explanation, but I came up short. “That isn’t going to make the cut for you holding out on me.”
She gave me her most innocent expression, and it tugged on my heartstrings. “Does being best friends count for anything?”
“Maybe,” I teased.
Seconds ticked by before Ashlee’s ever-changing emotions altered once again, and she sighed. “Seriously, Paige, Colton still obviously cares for you deeply. I don’t know why you pushed him away. What’s going on with you?”
Caught off guard, I snapped my head back and shifted backward on my feet. Thank goodness my strong leg moved first, or I would have landed flat on my ass in the process.
I was speechless, and I had no idea where to begin explaining the reasons for my actions. I felt helpless because of my inability to put my feelings into words, even after all this time. Here was my closest friend standing in front of me, and I was still incapable of putting my feelings into words for her or anyone else.