Enduring Fate

by Alicia Rae

  I slung my arm over Paige’s shoulder and drew her against my side to absorb this moment with her. Kyle put his arm over my shoulder, causing me to meet his gaze. He unveiled that welcoming brotherly smile that he always gave me. Before I knew it, the ten of us all had our arms outstretched and interlocked with one another. We all rotated smiling at each other and then went back to taking in the scenery.

  There was nowhere else I would rather be than here with these guys. We were all true friends, and that made us family.

  Come Monday morning, I had a clear head back in place. It was time to say my piece to Hank, so he would know that I could stand up to him and not cower away. Then, we could both move on.

  Nearly every morning by seven, like clockwork, Hank was always at the coffee shop at the edge of town. I had picked a public location to approach him, unannounced, rather than driving to his ranch, so I would be forced to keep my temper in check.

  As I stepped through the front door of the building, I immediately set my eyes on Hank. He was sitting alone at a corner table, reading a newspaper.

  I began to walk toward him. Hank glanced up at me and released a cocky smile as if he had been expecting me, probably assuming I would have heard about his confrontation with Paige. I let out a sigh and reminded myself to be the bigger man.

  He set down his paper and sat up straight in his chair, wearing his usual pricy attire. “Colton, it’s so great to see you. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company this early in the morning?”

  “I’m here to bury the hatchet between us, so we can peacefully go our separate ways.” I was quite proud of myself for saying “bury the hatchet” and not “smack you with a ratchet.” It gave me hope that this could go well.

  He rose from his chair and buttoned his suit jacket. “Ah, I see. How honorable of you.”

  I fought for control at his offensive tone. It was charming but dripping with insult. I stepped back slightly to keep space between us.

  Hank asked, “Did you reconsider selling that wild stallion of yours to me?”

  “He’s no longer for sale, nor are any of my other horses when it comes to you. I think it’s best if we go our separate ways in this business.”

  “That’s a shame.” Hank tilted his head at me. “Then, what did you come here for?”

  “To remind you that you or any of your employees are not welcome on my property.”

  A devious look on his expression made me feel like he knew exactly what incident I was referring to.

  I took a small step forward, pinning him with my hard eyes. “And stay away from Paige. Don’t even so much as look, smile, or blink at her. If you see her walking in your direction, I suggest you run the other way.”

  His mouth curved into a crooked smile. “I can’t be to blame if she comes looking for me.”

  “She won’t,” I stated with certainty. “So, are we good here?”

  “Eh”—he scrunched his oversized nose in scrutiny—“I guess so.”

  “Good,” I stated, forcing a smile.

  Hank tossed cash down onto the table, and I turned toward the door.

  “Oh, one more thing,” Hank chimed at my back, making me pause. “I can’t help but wonder…did Paige contemplate my offer? I think she would make a fine addition to my ranch.”

  Fuck. I clenched my jaw and whipped around on the soles of my boots. Liquid fury pumped through me as I charged straight for him. The old man tried to scurry out of my way, but it was too late.

  I grabbed Hank’s collar and shoved him backward. He kicked the flimsy chair out of his way as he stumbled to catch himself. His torso slammed against the painted concrete wall of the building as my eyes, scorching with indignation, concentrated solely on his.

  “Careful,” I threatened. “My patience is running thin. If you have a problem with me, that’s between you and me, not anyone else. So, I am kindly warning you to stay away from Paige and my home. It stops here, Hank.”

  “Miss Summers is a touchy subject for you, isn’t she?” he challenged menacingly, struggling to move. “But she isn’t yours, Colton. She left you once. I’m sure she won’t hesitate to do it again once she realizes a bigger, better man is out there waiting for her.”

  I wasn’t sure where his old ass was going with that, but the thought of him trying to stake some claim on my girl had me seething like nothing I’d ever felt before.

  I yanked forward on his collar and then slammed him against the concrete wall a second time. I raised my hand and dug my forearm into the center of his chest, pinning him in place. “Paige has always been mine, and next time you come near her, I won’t be so understanding. Remember that,” I finished.

  Then, it took every ounce of restraint inside of me to force myself to back up and walk away before I did something I would regret.

  “Good-bye, Hank.” I strolled for the door.

  COLTON HAD LEFT EARLY THIS MORNING to run some errands and said he’d be home by lunch. That meant that he’d arrive sometime in the early afternoon because a few stops always turned into several.

  I chuckled out loud at realizing just how well I knew him.

  I used the free time to get some cleaning and laundry done. I had cleaned the kitchen and bathrooms along with dusting each of them. All I had left to do was vacuum and mop the hardwood floors.

  The doorbell rang, catching me off guard. I ambled over to the door and peeked through the tiny window at the top. Josephine was standing on the other side.

  “Hi, Josephine. Come on in.” I smiled, letting her inside. “I didn’t know you were stopping by today.”

  “Hello, Paige.” She scanned the room. “Is Colton home?” she asked hesitantly.

  At the back of my mind, I wondered if she already knew that answer. “No, he left early to pick up lumber at the store.”

  “Oh, good.” She smiled, staring between the furniture and me. “Do you mind if I stay for a while? I was hoping the two of us could talk alone.”

  Nerves crept in, but I motioned to the living room and answered, “Of course. Make yourself at home.”

  She walked over to the couch and sat on the left side. Keeping her knees together, she set her hands on her lap.

  I lowered myself on the opposite end and curiously looked over at her. “What brings you by?”

  “Paige, darling, you know I love you like my own daughter.” Josephine paused, leaning back slightly. Her face appeared distressed.

  “Yes, I do.” My heart raced. Fear boiled in my stomach, knowing there was an upcoming but.

  “But I need you to know that a mother always has a unique, special kind of love for her child that no one can quite describe.” Her eyes sobered. “We would do anything for our children.”

  “I can understand that.” I nodded in agreement, respecting her belief and knowing I’d do the same for my own child.

  I would also do anything for Colton. There was no question and no doubts that I loved him that deeply. I frowned in confusion, pondering where this conversation was leading. It was as though I was missing something important.

  Moistening her lips and glancing down, she crossed her legs before gazing at me again. This time, her expression was sad. “So, I hope you can understand that I have the best intentions at heart for what I’m about to say.”

  “Okay.” I felt uneasy.

  “Colton has loved you since long before he truly understood just how powerful the meaning of that word is. To me, what you two share is almost an unhealthy kind of love because it makes people act without thinking. It makes them reckless.” She lowered her chin while giving me a stern look. “I’m sure you know what I mean by this.”

  All the puzzle pieces shifted in my mind and started to click into place. My impetuous decision to cross the river last year had forced Colton to risk his life to save my own because his love ran that deep for me. But if I could have paused that moment, I would never have let Colton take that risk for me because my love for him ran just as deep.

  “You almost
took my only child from me because of your carelessness,” she stated, rather upset at my silence.

  My eyes fell to the table, and I painfully bit my inner cheeks to keep my emotions in check. “I never meant to put Colton in danger. It all happened so fast that day. There was no time for anything. I’m very sorry to have put him in danger.” I blinked through tears.

  “I know you are, darling, and I just want you to understand my feelings about the matter.” She gave me a moment to collect myself. “I’m willing to let that part go. However, you returning home and trying to pick up your relationship with Colton right where you two left off worries me.”

  Having already heard her feelings on that topic, I nodded.

  “I’ve been married to a rancher for over thirty years. There were countless days where Johnathan and I worked side by side to get the job done, so we could pay the bills and provide for Colton.”

  “Yes, I remember those days very well,” I replied, trying to hold myself together.

  “So, you must see my point. My son needs someone who is going to pull her weight and not be afraid of hard work.” She regarded me with inquisitive eyes. “You haven’t even been on a horse since you’ve been here, have you?”

  “No,” I murmured guiltily.

  “Are you willing to let him sacrifice his dreams because of your mistake?” she pushed.

  I swallowed thickly and prayed that I could speak without my voice cracking because my heart was surely doing it already.

  I was on the verge of a breakdown, so I gradually rose to my feet. “I don’t have that answer for you, Josephine. I’ve asked myself the same thing.” I kept my tone gentle and sincere. “I appreciate you visiting to tell me your feelings.”

  Josephine took my hint. She came to stand in front of me and set her hand on my wrist. “Paige, I’ve watched you grow from a young child to a woman over the years. I really hope you remember that I do love you and want the best for you in life. However, I have to put my son’s best interests first, and I’m not sure if this is your place.”

  “I love you, too, Josephine, as my own family. I always have,” I admitted, feeling the need to let her know how deeply her words wounded me. “In the present moment, I don’t know where my heart is. I must say, I’ve worked profoundly hard to spread my wings these past few months, and just when I’ve envisioned myself ready to fly high above the clouds, someone I love and respect has shot me down from the sky. Now, I find myself free-falling.”

  Josephine opened her mouth to speak.

  I politely lifted my hand and cut her off. “The damage is done. Now, if you’d please, I think you should be going.”

  She frowned heavily as if she were in great pain. Normally, I would have pulled the loving woman in for a hug to comfort her or to say good-bye. Currently, I was questioning and doubting all my beliefs.

  “One day, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for voicing my feelings.” She smiled despondently. “Good-bye, Paige.”

  “Bye,” I muttered at her back.

  As Josephine closed the door, I stood rooted in my stance, staring aimlessly out the living room window overlooking the backyard, as my mind ran away from me. So many feelings rushed through me that it was almost too fast to process any of them. I was overwhelmed, I was lost, and I was hurt. I kind of even felt betrayed. Although I respected that everyone was entitled to their own opinions, it was ten times harder to hear someone I love say those things to me, making me feel degraded by several notches.

  I replayed what Josephine had said to me during our family brunch several weeks ago and today. The flashback was replaced with questions.

  Am I ever going to be a partner to Colton? Will I be good enough for Colton?

  My eyes landed on the horse barn outside.

  Will I ever ride again?

  New emotions arose. Panic and alarm twisted and churned with doubt in my stomach, nearly making me nauseous. Stubbornness prevailed to the forefront, shoving the others aside, as I continued to look onward.

  I was tired of shrinking away to hide from my fears.

  Before I knew it, I had my boots on, and I opened the door. I wandered in the direction of the stalls. My heartbeat soared at the speed of a powerful jet. Tremors of shock ricocheted from my spine to my fingertips.

  I ended up stopping in front of Foster’s stall. His whiskered black nose was stuck between the bars of his window, and his ears perked up in a friendly greeting.

  “Hey, boy,” I cooed, elevating my hand to pet him.

  He snorted and pushed his nose harder against the metal as if he wanted me to show him some love. Or maybe he just wanted me to free him. I chuckled quietly.

  A headstall was looped around a hook at my right. I retrieved it and then inhaled a deep breath before unlocking Foster’s gate.

  Stepping inside and closing the gate behind me, I slowly came to stand at the horse’s side. My eyes roamed the length of his beauty, taking in his staggering height and his powerful muscles underneath his shiny coat.

  I gradually inched my feet closer, and Foster rotated his head to face me. His eyes were friendly and tender. The look on his face had me leaning my shoulder and resting my temple against him while I bent my arm to scratch his neck.

  “Let’s make each other a promise, okay?” I bravely asked him, hoping to absorb his strength. “I’ll take care of you, and you take care of me, okay?”

  A neigh escaped him. He seemed eager to know what we were going to do next. With a deep breath, I slipped on his headstall and guided him out to the grooming area.

  I secured him and then reached for a brush. I began to make long strokes down the length of his back and then the sides of his belly.

  In no time, I had him groomed and saddled. When I came to stand at the side of the stirrup, a shaky breath rocked through me. A slight step backward followed, and I raised my hands and ran them through my hair in deep contemplation, wondering if I was crazy.

  Am I doing this for myself or to prove myself to Josephine?

  Concerns quaked through me as what I was about to do sank in, and I shivered.

  Unexpected words cut into my private debate. “You’re ready.”

  I rotated my head to see Colton leaning against the barn door, observing me. The sun bounced off the light color of his cowboy hat.

  My eyes were glued to his. “I don’t feel like I am,” I admitted.

  He used his elbow to push off the wall, and he sauntered toward me. “You are,” he countered, his voice ringing with certainty. He came to a stop in front of me. “I’ve seen it in your eyes,” he said, staring at them. “You can do this. You just need to believe it and have faith and confidence in yourself.” He lifted a hand to stroke the base of my chin. “And I’ll be right by your side.”

  I glanced back at Foster and opened my mind to deliberate over what Colton saw in me. I bit my lip and directed my attention back onto that stirrup.

  I am a good rider—no, I am a great one.

  Empowered by his faith in me, I pivoted back to face Foster. One hand went to the horn of the saddle as I set my foot in the stirrup. Then, I hoisted myself onto the horse’s back. Foster stood perfectly still as he awaited my instruction.

  An exhilarating rush presented itself as my pulse thrummed. Colton waited in silence for me to gather myself.

  When I was ready, I gazed down at him. “Since you got me up here, you are coming with me, aren’t you, cowboy?”

  “Hell yes.” He grinned mischievously.

  I watched as Colton led Bentley out of his stall. Then, he groomed and saddled the horse. When he was finished, he climbed aboard and glanced over at me. I was rewarded with his eyes beaming over at me so brightly that it made the idea of conquering my qualms seem easy.

  “You ready?” he asked, smiling.

  “Think so,” I drawled.

  “You think?” He laughed richly.

  “Yep.” I chuckled. “It’s now or never.”

  He gave me a deliciously ha
ndsome look. “Then, let’s make it now.” He tipped his head toward the exit of the barn. “Ladies first.”

  His words of encouragement filled my soul in more ways than he’d ever know. Soon, instincts and a lifetime of riding experience kicked into gear. It was like remembering how to ride a bicycle. I grasped my reins and exhaled intensely. With a light squeeze of my heels against Foster’s belly, I cued him forward.

  Foster flawlessly accepted my guidance, walking outdoors. His attentiveness to my commands was impeccable.

  The sun was beaming right at us as we turned toward the backyard, and it made me feel as though we were heading toward the light—in more ways than one. Thousands of emotions hit me—from fear and determination to a deep sense of enrichment—with each forward step.

  “Where to?” Colton asked from behind me.

  “I’m not sure,” I responded honestly.

  “All right, we’ll just have to wing it.”

  “Sounds good to me.” I smiled.

  As we passed in between the horse and cattle pastures, I absorbed Foster’s every move beneath my bottom to get a feel for his stride. With each step, the two of us became more attuned to one another. In turn, my confidence grew in the saddle.

  By the end of the hour, I found myself traveling gracefully through the first open field and gravitating toward Colton’s and my favorite spot.

  As if reading my mind, Colton asked, “Are you sure you want to go this way?”

  Conflicting emotions arose in me once again. Crossing Missy’s Bridge was the only route to the prairie without riding a good seven or eight miles out of our way.

  I nervously bit my lip. I was pining to lie in the wild grass with Colton for the afternoon. It was something we hadn’t done in so long.

  “Yes,” slipped out of my mouth.

  We crossed through the first tree line, ducking and bobbing around the branches. For the next half mile of the second vacant pasture, I fought the desire to chicken out and run back the way we’d come. But the thought of backing down didn’t settle well with me. So, fear or not, I was going to make it to that prairie—for myself. I wanted to be whole and strong again, and I believed this was part of the journey.