by Alicia Rae
I could see in my mother’s eyes that she didn’t want to leave me, but the paramedic said there was no extra room. Eventually, my parents said their good-byes, so Mom could go get the car, and Dad could begin to gather the horses.
Colton turned to face me, intently studying me. His position gave me a chance to see his baby-blue eyes. While the first emotion I saw was relief, I also observed loss, devastation, and defeat.
This ranch was his life, his home, and a part of him in every way.
I swallowed hard, ignoring the burning dry sensation in the back of my throat, and I reached for his face, yearning to comfort him in his time of need. “I’m so sorry, Colton,” I said quietly, tears rolling down my cheeks.
He briefly closed his eyes and set his hand over mine. When he looked at me again, all his negative emotions were set aside, and he appeared to be focusing solely on me. “None of that matters, except for you, Paige.” His thumb affectionately caressed the top of my hand. “I love you. You’re all I need.”
I stared up at the ceiling with conflicting feelings. I knew I felt the same as Colton. As long as he was okay, so was I.
But I was also heartbroken by tonight’s fire. Just as things in our lives had been settling back to normal, our world had been turned upside down again. It seemed fate had no intentions of giving us a break.
“What happens now?” I asked, more to myself than anyone.
“I guess we try to pick up the pieces tomorrow,” Colton answered.
MY BACK RESTED AGAINST THE REMAINS OF A POST at the side of the equipment building. The unforgiving metal was digging into my shoulder blade, making me uncomfortable, but I didn’t care. It allowed me to face the remains of my horse barn where my horses used to be at night.
Darkness was maybe an hour away from taking over the sky, and the air was cooling for nighttime, but again, I didn’t care. I didn’t have it in me to force myself to go inside.
My eyes traveled back and forth over the black-and-gray ashes everywhere, missing what once had been a thriving business and my livelihood. There was still a faint haze of smoke lingering in the air, reminding me of what had happened and the aftermath.
I took another pull from my whiskey bottle and let the alcohol burn the back of my throat, so it would drown out the foul soot taste in my mouth.
An intense anger I’d never felt in my life washed over me, and it was all fixated toward one man—a man who had tried to take the life of my horses that were my family in every sense of the word. He’d burned my only means of housing my animals to the ground as well as all my riding and training gear. He’d leveled it to a pile of broken boards and rubbish in the dirt. Beyond putting my horses and business at stake, Hank had risked the life of someone I loved and valued far above my own.
Paige.
Vengeance raged in my blood and pumped throughout every part of me, heating my resolve to a breaking point. It wasn’t my normal style, but I was too furious and driven with revenge to be reasoned with. A fight was on the brink. I could feel it, and I had no control to stop it.
First, I had something to do. There wasn’t enough whiskey in this single bottle or even in a case of ten to ease the all-consuming agony from the pain and misery I felt over the heartache I was about to burden on another soul.
“Hey, cowboy.” Paige smiled up at me as she exited the bathroom, still wearing her lounge clothes. She was carrying a small piece of pottery.
At the same time, I reached the middle of our bedroom, and I recognized the piece in her hands. She had made it for me when we were kids in art class. It resided on the dresser in the walk-in closet adjoined to the bathroom. It was what I used to hold my spare change.
“Hey,” I murmured under my breath, stepping closer.
Our moods had been extremely down since returning home, but she had been trying to lighten my mood this morning. She was attempting to be strong and hold me together.
She held up the small dish for me. “I didn’t know you still had this. I made this for you in—what? Seventh grade?”
She lovingly smiled at me, and I forced myself not to pull her into my arms.
“Eighth,” I breathed.
I remembered the day she had given me the pottery. Nervousness had been etched across every plane of her beautiful face, and she had expressed a soft, shy smile right before I’d opened the wrapping. After I’d seen what she had made for me, the light that had beamed in her eyes was brighter than the sun, and I’d mirrored her expression as I told her I loved it.
At my silence, she said, “I can’t believe I’ve passed by this in the closet and never seen it.” Paige closed the space between us, searching my eyes. Her hand came to my cheek. “You okay?”
I closed my eyes, reveling in the feel of her one last time. I never wanted to forget one single memory of her. She would always be mine, the girl who had stolen my heart at just five years old. Now, it would be from a distance.
“No.”
Her small slender arm wrapped around my center to comfort me, and the pottery she still carried bumped into my side. She tipped her head up at me and pleaded, “Talk to me, please.”
I wasn’t going to last long because I was pretty confident my heart was going to stop beating at any second, so I decided to just get it out. “It’s over, Paige,” I managed to say, hearing the unimaginable words repeat in my head.
She would never forgive me for this. But protecting her life was more important to me than sharing it with her.
The pottery hit the hardwood and broke, the screeching loud sound reverberating through the bedroom, as Paige went rigid and lifeless in front of my very eyes. Hundreds of coins hit the floor, too, bouncing and clattering, as time stood still.
Paige slowly backed out of my arms, and it fucking killed me to let her go.
Glossy eyes met mine. “What?” she whispered, her lower lip quivering.
I exhaled deeply, accepting the change of our fate. I would not drag her down into a bottomless pit with me. This was the only way.
Fuck…
I could barely breathe.
“It’s over, Paige,” were all the words I had left in me to say. I swallowed the bile rising in my throat.
Tears streamed down her cheeks as conflicting emotions flashed through her eyes, shifting from shock to heartache to hope. “After everything we’ve been through, you’re just going to give up on us?” she cried.
“Yes.”
Fury and determination fueled the fight in her. “I won’t let you do that, Colton. Damn it. You made me believe in our love.” Advancing me, she shoved at my chest. Even pissed, she was still gentle. “Do you remember what you told me when I first came home? You said that the kind of love we share doesn’t ever dim or fade.” She wept, tearing me in two. “You said it was the kind of love that lasted forever.”
In that moment, I realized how damn proud I was of Paige. She was stronger and whole again. Her inner faith that she’d always had was back. And it fucking crushed me to know that I’d have to cut her deeply, or she wasn’t going to let me go.
“You gave up on our fate a long time ago, Paige. It’s time we call it what it is.”
Seconds ticked by while I helplessly stood there and watched as defeat conquered her.
“You’re right.” She finally nodded. “After all the hurt and everything I’ve done to you, I deserve this.”
We both stood there, motionless, unsure of what to do.
It was as though I could feel her heart breaking and splintering into thousands of shattered remains. As always, my heart was connected to her in a way words could not describe. To know this was my doing drove my unbearable anguish to an excruciating breaking point. I felt as though razor-sharp glass was stabbing me everywhere, but that wasn’t the worst or most intolerable part. The pain in my chest was seizing my heart, sucking the life from me. My body began shutting down.
I couldn’t endure the look in her eyes for another second, or I was going to fall to my knees. I would have t
o walk away first.
I stared down at the floor, unable to hold her gaze. “Good-bye, Paige,” I said in a quiet voice that was empty and lifeless.
Then, I walked away.
There wasn’t enough fucking whiskey in the world to numb what was left of me.
FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, thank you for taking the time to read my book.
As with each of my stories, the couples weave their way into my heart and become a part of me. I hope you’ve enjoyed Colton and Paige’s story and continue the rest of their journey with me.
For the most up-to-date information, please sign up for my email list at www.aliciaraeauthor.com.
You can also follow me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/aliciaraeauthor and Twitter @AliciaRaeAuthor.
I HAVE SO MANY WONDERFUL PEOPLE TO THANK. Each person has truly been a blessing throughout this new chapter in my life.
First and foremost, I cannot express enough thanks to my remarkably talented editor, Jovana Shirley, at Unforeseen Editing. She was the first person I met when I started this journey of writing, and I’m forever grateful for her friendship, advice, and the endless late nights she shares with me while perfecting every single word of each of my novels. She takes my original manuscripts and makes them shine. Thank you for your continued dedication and hard work! Much love, lady!
To my cousin, Mariah—Thank you for inspiring me to write about a heroine who overcomes a physical injury with a humbling perseverance and strength that others can admire. xoxo!
To my family, who has always supported me with unconditional love, even during the times when I practically live in my writing cave—Thank you, and I love you all dearly. *Hugs & Kisses*
To Sarah Hansen at Okay Creations—Thank you for taking the photographs and creating a work of art with all of my covers. I am in awe of your extraordinary talent, and I absolutely love each and every cover.
To my dear husband, Travis—A special thanks for taking the time to read my manuscripts at a moment’s notice, for giving me sincere words of affirmation when I need them the most, and for always being my rock. You are my high school sweetheart who has made all my dreams come true. Love you always. ♥
To Tammie Lee—Thank you for all your heartfelt thoughts and suggestions for my manuscripts, for the way you always go above and beyond for me and my books, for our late-night messages filled with laughter, and most of all, for being such a dear friend. Many, many hugs.
To Gary Taylor—I’m so glad I took a leap of faith this past year and reached out to you. From our very first message, you have inspired me in so many ways with your words just as you have done with those around the world. You remind me to always strive to be the best I can possibly be by putting all that I have into my work, to never give up when the going gets tough, and to reach for the stars. I’ll always be grateful for our friendship. It’s one I plan to keep for life. Thank you for helping me craft my thoughts for Colton and Paige’s covers and for bringing them to life. You did a remarkable job.
To Tiffany Liller—Many, many thank yous for everything you did for me. I’m deeply humbled that you drove all the way to Alabama to grace my covers. They are absolutely stunning. You are a kind, beautiful person, and I hope our friendship only continues to grow over the years.
To Golden Czermak—There aren’t enough words to thank you enough for taking my visions and capturing the most perfect images for my covers. As with all your photographs, they aren’t just images. They are works of art. From your keen eye behind the lens to your extraordinary editing talents, you continue to amaze me every time I look at one of your photographs. I hope to have the opportunity to work with you again and again in the future. Thank you for your amazing friendship and all that you do for me.
To Joyce and Regina at B & W Stables—Thank you so much for sharing Foster with me and for allowing me to use your beautiful property for the photo shoot. You all welcomed me with open arms and truly made these covers possible. I'm deeply grateful for your hospitality and kindness to me. Foster is such a cutie, and he will always hold a special place in my heart.
To all my beta readers—Thank you for your countless hours of reading my novels and for giving me the push I need with your kind and encouraging words. You all help me perfect my work and make it the best it can be, and I’m extremely thankful to each of you.
To the many bloggers who put their hearts and precious time into reading and promoting my book—Many, many thanks to you all! Truly, I’m deeply humbled and grateful for all that you do for all of us authors, and even more importantly, for the many friendships I’ve made along the way.
To all the ladies at InkSlinger PR—Thank you for your guidance and hard work in organizing my blog tours, cover reveals, giveaways, and so much more. Without you, I would never have known what steps to take.
To all fellow authors who have become my friends—Thank you for writing books where I can lose myself for hours and for inspiring me to write love stories of my own. You have all welcomed me with open arms, and I’m extremely thankful.
And especially to my readers—I can never thank you enough for reading my books. All your support means the world to me. ♥
Alicia with Foster at B & W Stables.
ALICIA RAE is a contemporary romance author who lives in Dekalb, Illinois, with her husband and three beautiful boys. Alicia has a passion for reading all types of romance, writing to bring a story to life, and photography.