by Hannah Ford
WHAT HE REVEALS (WHAT HE WANTS, BOOK EIGHT)
By Hannah Ford
Copyright 2015, Hannah Ford, all rights reserved. This book is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to any persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
NOAH
Regret.
It pushed forward like a dark wave, threatening to overtake the carefully constructed wall that surrounded me.
As soon as I saw the look on Charlotte’s face, as soon as I saw the hurt in her eyes, I wanted to take back what I’d done. I wanted to take back ripping our contract up in a fit of anger and hurt that was more befitting of a wounded boy than a grown man. But of course taking it back was impossible.
Regret was not an emotion I was familiar with -- I’d found it served no purpose. Once something was done, there was nothing you could do to change it. Regret and disappointment did nothing other than make you feel badly about yourself, make you second guess every choice you’d made, cause you to wonder if perhaps you were damaged or defective in some way in order to have done whatever the thing was you regretted.
I had enough self-loathing inside of me to last a lifetime.
I didn’t need to pile on more.
However, for the briefest of moments after Charlotte walked away, I allowed myself to feel the disappointment that washed over me. Although perhaps allowed wasn’t the right word – I was powerless to stop it.
Why had I done that?
Because you wanted to hurt her.
Why would I want to hurt her?
Because she hurt you by not trusting you.
It was shameful, to lash out the way I had, to hurt the woman I was falling in love with. I’d acted like a spoiled child.
And when she turned and ran out of the room, my heart split in two. It was a feeling so deep and profound, I’d almost forgotten I could feel anything that was so immediate, so real.
I called after her.
But she didn’t respond.
She kept moving, out the door and into the club.
“Shit,” I swore.
I went after her.
But the slave auction was starting, and the men in the club were getting riled up, waving money in the air, yelling out bids. The music pulsed and the lights swung over the crowd, flashing rhythmically, making it almost impossible to see anything.
I caught a glimpse of her long dark hair, and I called her name again, but either she didn’t hear me or she didn’t care. And then she was swallowed up in the crowd, disappearing into a throng of sweat and masks and desire.
I became almost crazed at the thought of her being alone in this place, this place I’d brought her even though I knew it wasn’t good for her. She wasn’t ready. I’d done it just to prove a point, to show her I was in control, that if she thought she was going to be able to hide something from me, she was wrong.
My pride and my demons had put her at risk.
If anything were to happen to her, I would never forgive myself.
I would find her.
I would make sure she was safe and get her out of here.
And then I would stay away from her.
I was too damaged.
And if she stayed with me, she was going to get hurt.
My heart ripped again at the thought of not having her, of not talking to her, holding her, dominating her, loving her. But I reached deep into myself and stitched it back together.
The only thing worse than losing her was destroying her.
And if I stayed with her, that’s exactly what I would do.
CHARLOTTE
My screams echoed through the room before bouncing off the cements walls and coming back to me, almost like a boomerang. Through the light that was filtering through the open door, I could see a dirty light bulb hanging from the ceiling.
It felt like a tomb.
The man who’d opened the door -- Audi James -- stepped inside and shut the door behind him.
The room was thrown back into darkness, and I struggled to my knees, trying to stand up. It was hard to do while being handcuffed. The metal bit into my wrists and threw me off balance, making it impossible to stand. Not that it really mattered. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do even if I somehow could stand up – I was handcuffed, and even if I wasn’t, Audi James was twice my size. I had no weapon, no escape route, no way to protect myself. I had no idea where my cell phone was – it had been lost somewhere while those men had been carrying me here. I didn’t remember if I’d dropped it, or if they’d taken it from me.
“Just relax,” Audi said soothingly. The light clicked on overhead. “You don’t have to be scared. This is going to be just as you imagined it would be.”
I didn’t know what he was talking about. He was obviously mad.
I took in a shaking breath and tried to calm myself. It was apparent my screaming wasn’t going to help anything – this place was a complete maze, and I’d heard people screaming and begging as I’d moved through it. More screams weren’t going to alert anyone that I needed help. No, I needed to save my strength, and think about what I could do to get out of this mess.
Audi James crossed the room and placed the metal thing he’d been holding down on a dirty footstool that was sitting in the corner.
It was a knife.
In the dim light, it didn’t shine as brightly as it had in the hallway. I was far enough away that I couldn’t be sure, but it looked like a butcher knife. The blade was sharp but seemed almost darker than the rest of the knife, like perhaps it had been dulled and then sharpened recently.
I wracked my brain for anything I could use from all the case studies I’d read, anything where the victim had gotten away from a captor. I remembered a case from Georgia, where a prisoner had escaped from a courthouse after killing two police officers and a security guard. He’d gone on the run, sparking a manhunt that spanned three counties. He evaded the police for a while, then broke into a house and took a woman hostage.
She’d been held captive for five days, knowing that he’d killed those people, knowing that the police were closing in on him. He’d had a gun and he was desperate. She’d been able to save herself and convince him to turn himself in by talking to him, getting to know him, making him connect with her.
Try to make Audi see you as human, I told myself.
“What are you doing?” I asked. I tried to keep the fear out of my voice, but it was difficult. My voice trembled and my whole body was shaking.
“Getting ready for the experience,” he said. He reached up and opened two tiny trap doors that were built into the ceiling. Two shackles dropped down, their chains clinking as they fell.
Audi James turned to look at me, and I forced myself not to look away. His eyes seemed to turn to black as they met my gaze.
This is what evil looks like, I thought to myself.
He’d killed those girls. Nora. Dani. Katie. And now me.
“Why are you doing this?” I asked as he walked over to me, the sound of his heavy work boots echoing off the concrete floor.
The side of his mouth twitched for a second. “Are you gonna be a screamer, Sweets?” he asked. “Are you going to scream real loud for Daddy?” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of gum, popped it into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. His eyes took me in, racking up my body, sizing me up. “You’re thick. You gonna struggle?”
“You don’t have to do this,” I said. “If you killed those girls, you should turn yourself in.”
“I didn’t kill no girls,” he said, his voice sharp with anger.
&nb
sp; “No, of course not,” I said quickly. “I’m a lawyer. I can help you show everyone you didn’t do it. But first you have to let me go.”
He grinned again, then leaned down so that his face was right up against mine. His breath smelled like strawberry gum, and even though it wasn’t an unpleasant odor, it made me recoil.
The next thing I knew, he’d picked me up and slung me over his shoulder, similar to the way those men had carried me through the club and to this room.
“You’re heavy,” Audi said, almost like he was annoyed. He set me down and then pushed me up against the far wall, shoving his body so forcefully against mine that the pressure was almost unbearable. I turned my cheek and it pressed into the wall so hard my teeth mashed against the inside of my cheek. “They didn’t say you were heavy.”
“Who didn’t?” I asked.
“The men who brought you here.”
“Why would it matter if I’m heavy?”
“It costs extra.”
I had no idea what he was talking about. I couldn’t even decide if the things he was saying were of any importance, or if they were the mutterings of a mad man.
“What costs extra?” I asked.
“I’m going to take your handcuffs off now,” he said. “I need to so I can put you in the shackles. You can fight me if you want.” He licked his lips and leaned in close to me. “Are you going to?”
“Am I going to what?”
“Fight. You can. If it turns you on.”
My eyes filled with hot tears. It was no use. He wasn’t talking sense. He was out of his mind. “I’m not going to fight.”
When I said it, I meant it. But as soon as he’d taken me out of my handcuffs, I kneed him right in the groin. His hands dropped to cover the place between his legs and he screamed in pain. I didn’t hesitate, moving quickly toward the door.
But he reached out and grabbed me. He was bent over, and his hand tightened around my ankle, causing me to go sprawling onto the ground. My chin banged against the floor, and I bit my tongue hard. The bitter taste of blood filled my mouth, and pain radiated through my jaw.
“Fucking lying bitch,” Audi James spat. He reached down and picked me up around the waist, this time not even trying to make sure he had a good hold on me. Instead he slammed me up against the wall and forced my hands into the shackles.
He reached down and picked up his knife, then began turning a metal crank that was sticking out of the wall. At first, I wasn’t sure what he was doing. And then, very slowly, the shackles on my arms started pulling me up toward the ceiling. And then I understood.
He was going to string me up by my arms. At first, it would just be tiring. But if he kept going, eventually my shoulders would become dislocated. The pain would be unbearable.
“Please,” I said. “Please, you don’t have to do this. Please, let’s talk about this.”
He stopped cranking. His eyes narrowed at me and then he moved over, still holding the knife in his hand.
He stepped closer to me, his gaze falling on my ruined dress. He reached out and ripped the rest of it open, so that my breasts were fully exposed. Then he pressed the flat side of the knife against my nipple, drawing the cool metal slowly over my skin.
“You look like her,” he said. “It will be like killing her all over again.”
“I look like who?” I asked. My arms were aching, and I stood up on my tiptoes to try and relieve some of the pressure.
“Like Rhonda.”
Rhonda Callahan. The woman he’d been seeing, the one he was accused of killing. Noah had argued it was self-defense, the prosecution said it was a sex game wrong.
“Was this what you were doing when you killed her?” I asked. “Did you have her strung up like this?”
“I know this is what you want,” he said, ignoring my questions. “Don’t you, you little slut? That’s why you came here.”
He turned the knife over so that the blade was pushed against my skin. And just as the sharp bite of the knife nipped into my flesh, it all clicked into place. Audi James thought I’d come here to reenact his killing. He thought I’d come here so he could do this to me – he thought I wanted it.
He pushed the knife harder into my side, and I looked down to see a thin line of blood appear on my skin. I could tell it was a superficial wound, not the kind of thing that was life threatening, but seeing the blood made me dizzy.
Audi reached out and grabbed my breast, kneaded it roughly.
“Moan,” he said. “She moaned until I finally choked her out.”
His hand reached out and grabbed my throat, his grip just tight enough to hurt.
“Tell me you love it,” he said. “Tell me you love it, or I’ll kill you like I killed her.”
I moaned. “I love it,” I said. “Please, I love it so much.”
“Die, bitch,” he said, his hand tightening around my throat. I took in a deep breath, trying to keep my lungs filled with oxygen for as long as I could, but it had the opposite effect of what I’d wanted. The huge breath of air made my lungs burn, and my instinct was to hold onto it as long as I could, not knowing when I would get another chance to breath. By the time I finally let it go, my eyes were watering, and I gasped again immediately, but this time, I couldn’t get any oxygen.
“Go to sleep, Sweets,” Audi James said. “Go to sleep, Sweet Sweets.”
I wasn’t sure if I was hearing him correctly. I wasn’t sure if any of this was real, if what I was seeing was actually happening. The room started to darken, and I didn’t know if that was real either, if he’d turned off the light or if I was just starting to lose consciousness.
He pushed his mouth up against my neck and bit me softly, pinching my skin with his teeth. The knife was still against my side, and I imagined a gaping wound opening, blood pouring out of me and filling the room until it had flooded the floor.
And then he was there.
Noah.
So quick, so sure, I was positive I’d imagined him.
He came into the room, his eyes widening as he took in what was happening. And then I saw something flash across his face, something I’d never seen from him before.
Fear.
Noah was afraid.
But then it was gone, replaced by anger and action as he grabbed Audi James by the shoulder and pulled him off me.
As soon as Audi released his hand from my neck, I took in a big gasping breath of air. Everything moved back into focus, so sharp and clear and fast that it made me wonder if I’d even been losing consciousness at all, or if maybe I’d gone into some kind of weird altered fear state.
“Get your hands off her,” Noah growled.
Audi turned around, ready to fight. He raised his arm, but Noah grabbed Audi’s wrist.
“Don’t,” Noah said, and even though Audi James was insane, in that moment, Noah was scarier. Noah punched Audi square in the face, his eyes blazing with the look of a man possessed. It was the look of a man who would kill. And in that moment, I thought, he’s capable of it. He’s capable of killing someone.
Audi took a few steps backward, reeling from Noah’s punch.
“Well, well, well,” Audi said, his tongue snaking out and licking his upper lip, which was already beginning to swell. “The prodigal son returns.”
“Fuck you,” Noah said. He rushed over to me and undid my shackles. “Shit,” he breathed when he saw the cut on my side. He ran his finger over it, the blood staining his skin as it smeared across my flesh. “It’s okay,” he said. “It’s not deep.” He reached up and pushed my hair off my face, looking me over. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
“I’m okay,” I said, rubbing my sore wrists. My arms felt like I’d been lifting weights for hours, and my whole body was shaking.
Noah looked me over again, then turned back to Audi.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, you sadistic son of a bitch?”
Audi licked his lips again. “Playing.”
“How’d you find her?”
He grinned. “She was sent to me.”
“By who?”
Audi shrugged. “I dunno.”
Noah pulled back and punched him again, this time sending a sickening blow to Audi’s nose. There was the sound of bones crushing and blood rushed down Audi’s face in a river.
“Noah!” I screamed and grabbed at his arm. He tried to push me off of him and go after Audi again, but before he could, Audi ran out the door, disappearing down the hall.
Noah’s chest heaved, his breath coming in rapid gasps. I kept my hand on his arm, just in case he had any ideas about going after Audi.
He turned to me. “You shouldn’t have run away from me like that,” he said. “What the hell were you thinking, Charlotte?”
I shook my head. “No way, “ I said. “Don’t even try to put this on me.” I reached down and grabbed at my ruined dressed, trying to cover myself as best I could. “Are you going to tell me what the fuck is going on?”
He shook his head. “I need to get you out of here. The car is waiting out front.”
“No.” Adrenaline was coursing through my body, and I was scared to death. If Noah hadn’t come to look for me, if I’d been left alone with Audi James…I shivered, thinking about what might have happened. Would he have killed me? Would I have been raped or cut up or hurt? The possibilities were horrific and unimaginable.
I didn’t want to spend one more second in Force. But for the first time in my whole relationship with Noah, I had power. He wanted me to leave the club – but I wasn’t going to do that until he provided me with at least a little information.
“Charlotte,” Noah said. “I don’t have the patience for this. You’re going to come with me. You’re going to get in the car. And we’re going to get out of here.”
“No.” I stuck my chin in the air. “You stopped having the right to tell me what to do when you ripped up our contract.”
I saw the pain flash in his eyes, saw the regret written on his face. It was one of the first times I’d seen any real emotion from him – usually he was as hard and as impenetrable as stone. But I didn’t care. I didn’t care if he was upset. I was upset, too. This whole thing with him had been confusing and heartbreaking and confusing. I didn’t know how I could feel so close to someone and yet so far from them at the same time. And when he ripped up that contract, it felt like he was ripping my heart in two.