by Leddy Harper
“I’m just a branch manager at a bank. What purpose do I have?”
He lowered his lips to my shoulder, and then ran them along my neck while caressing my lower stomach with his calloused palms. “Setting up retirement accounts and life insurance policies for single mothers. Getting them in a good place so they have one less thing to stress over. Seems far more satisfying than making rich people richer.” Suddenly, he stopped what he was doing and squeezed my body with reassurance. “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against someone who’s invested well and continues to cushion their pockets. But in the grand scheme of things, they don’t need the help, unlike some of the customers you serve every day.”
I stared at the water flowing freely from the spout for a moment while I absorbed his assessment. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Plus, I have Emma. She’s worth every sacrifice. I’d take her and my position at the bank over Wall Street any day.”
“What do you plan to do once she leaves for college?”
I grazed his arms with my nails while debating how to answer. “Well, I have the house. Even after I finish taking care of all the smaller things I have on my list for this year, there’s still so much more that needs to be done. I’m sure that’ll take up a solid five years of my life, which would put me at about forty. And who knows, maybe by then, she’ll be married with a kid or two, and then I’ll have grandbabies to spoil.”
While he remained quiet, the harsh dip in his throat could be felt, and without seeing his Adam’s apple, I was certain it plunged low. I’d witnessed it enough times to anticipate a difficult question—as soon as he finished mulling over how to word it. Finally, his husky voice danced along my skin as he asked, “But who are you without her at the house? Without home improvements taking up the next six years of your life. Without kids crawling around at your feet. Who’s Kristy when she no longer has to be a full-time mom to her daughter?”
“I’ve never given that any thought, so I’m not sure I can give you an answer.”
“You’ve spent half your life being someone’s mother. Prior to that, you were just a kid. I think it’s about time you discover who you are.” He ran the pad of his thumb over my ribs along my side as he spoke. “You have friends, right? Anyone you share a common interest with that you enjoy being around?”
I refused to analyze the reasons I wasn’t embarrassed to admit this to Ash. “Meeting people hasn’t been the easiest thing in the world—even though it used to be effortless when I was younger. But ever since I had Emma, it’s like I’ve constantly been on a different playing field as everyone else.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s so hard to connect with anyone my age. When she was a baby, I couldn’t go to parties or hang out with my friends, and if by some miracle I was able to get a night off from mommy duty, it wasn’t like I could stay up until three or four in the morning…I had an infant at home who needed me to function the next day. Even in my early to mid-twenties, I had nothing in common with anyone, and those I could relate to—other single moms—were older, which created another set of differences that prevented us from finding shared interests. I guess I eventually gave up and found contentment in my quiet, simple life.”
“I get that. In a way, that’s how I feel. Everyone I know parties on the weekends or goes to Cancun for spring break, getting drunk from sun-up to sundown. I personally have no interest in those things. Maybe it’s because I’ve already done most of them, and the consequences aren’t appealing. I’d rather spend my free time in my garage than take the chance of fucking up again.”
“It sucks to learn things the hard way, huh?”
“Sometimes. But then I stop and think about you, and I can’t help but appreciate what I had to go through to get here.”
I leaned to the side to see his face. “What do you mean?”
“When I was younger—like in elementary school—my mom used to laugh at me for hitting on my teachers. I’d give them my apple, or I’d buy an extra milk from the lunch line and bring it back to them if they were having a bad day. On occasion, I would pick flowers from the garden in front of the building just to make the pretty ones smile. Mom always said she’d have to watch out for her friends when I got older because she wouldn’t put it past me to go after them, and if I were half the Casanova my dad was, they wouldn’t stand a chance.”
I could’ve listened to him talk for hours. When happiness filled his words and his lips held the slightest curl, it was like he shared a part of his soul. I’d never felt that way while listening to others, and I wondered if that was because I’d never paid attention, or if it was just one more thing that set Ash apart from everyone else.
“I’ve always had a thing for older women,” he continued while focusing on the water filling the tub. “But let’s be real…in order to have a relationship, I’d have to wait until my late twenties. It doesn’t matter how mature I am or what I look like, no woman would date me until I reach some magical age where it no longer matters.”
I couldn’t argue with that. Had I known how old he was from the start, I wouldn’t have given him a second glance, let alone a minute of my time. I almost didn’t when I thought he was twenty-two. So, I fully understood, and in a strange way, almost felt bad for him.
He turned his head to find my eyes before continuing. “Then there’s you.”
My breathing slowed, as if every ounce of energy went toward listening to him.
“You had to grow up faster than most. Because of that, the person you were before Emma has been stuck on pause for the last seventeen years—never aging. And the older you get, the quieter she becomes. Eventually, she’ll lose all hope of being found, and if that happens, she’ll be gone forever.”
I couldn’t speak as he dissected me, making me see things I’d never thought of before. And after a moment of us both staring at the other, no words spoken, he brought his lips to mine. It was a soft, gentle kiss, full of emotion and truth. When it ended, I shifted again until I resumed my place against his chest.
To my surprise, his fingertips raked down my stomach, then up the top of my thigh, down the overly sensitive skin on the inside, before doing the same on the other. The entire time, he avoided the ache between my legs. And when he whispered against the side of my face, I nearly came from his words alone. “But don’t worry…I found her.”
“You found who?” My question was breathy, full of desperation.
The easy rumble that reverberated against my back indicated that he’d seen through me—it was obvious I’d forgotten what we were talking about. “There’s not a doubt in my mind that I went through all that in my past—getting in trouble, moving here, having every ounce of freedom ripped away—so I could push play…for both of us.”
I lifted my bottom, chasing his fingers as he continued to tease me, going near but never touching where I needed it the most. “Keep talking.”
The desperation was thick by this point, and he was fully aware of it. He knew what I wanted, and without making me beg, he delivered. Continuing the light strokes along my skin, occasionally grazing my clit, he carried on with his explanation. “Between your desire to feel young, and my need to remain level-headed and responsible, we balance each other out. The parts of us that have been in limbo connect to each other.”
“And what exactly is it about me that you connect with?” It wasn’t easy to pay attention to his words while he had his hands on me, but I did the best I could with the situation I found myself in.
“Your maturity…” He cupped my mound. “And your age.” His dick became fully hard against my back, proving just how turned on he got by older women—specifically, me. “You understand what it’s like to grow up before everyone else. But what I love the most, is when I connect with you”—he slipped two fingers inside my core—“here.”
My spine arched, my head pushing against his shoulder, as I chased his touch, matching him push for pull. But the growing erection against my back only served as a re
minder of how badly I needed him to fill me.
I gripped the sides of the tub and lifted myself onto his lap. As if he read my mind, he slipped his fingers out to guide the crown of his dick to my entrance. I sank down with an audible moan, beyond satisfied with his impressive girth stretching my insides, his notable length filling me.
“Turn off the water, babe,” he ordered in a husky tone from over my shoulder.
Ignoring him, I continued to ride his cock as water splashed along the sides of the oversized tub. Our momentum grew faster, harder, until our bath resembled the waves of the ocean, threatening to spill out onto the tile floor. But I didn’t care. Feeling him inside me was worth the clean-up in the end.
With a throaty growl, he crossed one arm across my body, just beneath my breasts, and hauled me against him. He gripped my hip with his free hand to guide me, taking charge like every time we were together.
“Kris, the tub’s gonna overflow,” he warned again, though this time, he didn’t sound as concerned, more like making an observation.
“Then let it.” Those three words spurred him on more, which drove us closer and closer to the brink. In this position, I had no doubt he’d get me off, but I was too impatient to wait. I dropped my hand between my legs and began to furiously rub circles over my clit. Between his dick stroking the flames from the inside and my fingers adding the accelerant, I found myself seconds away from imploding.
He palmed my breast, no doubt leaving behind small bruises in the shapes of his fingertips. Until Ash, I never fathomed I would enjoy rough sex. It was as though my body spoke to him, communicating how much pressure it needed, and ever since that very first brutally powerful orgasm, I had craved his intensity like a junkie craved the next fix.
“Fuck, Kris…” His guttural curse layered my shoulder with heat, just before the careful bite of his teeth made me whimper. “I won’t last if you keep touching yourself like that. You know it drives me crazy.”
He’d made it no secret that he thoroughly enjoyed watching me pleasure myself—which came about after I’d expressed how hot it was to watch him stroke himself—but this time, I wasn’t doing it to tease him. Simply put, I was too eager to wait. Ash had this amazing ability to get off, and then five minutes later, be ready to go again. So, I figured there wasn’t any harm in hurrying this along, knowing we could dry off and resume on the bed, where I’d allow him to make me come several more times all on his own.
Understanding my desperation, he pinched my nipple, twisting his wrist just enough to send me over the edge. I opened my mouth to release cries of ecstasy, yet no sound came out. The only noise in the room came from the water rushing through the pipes, our bath spilling onto the tile, and then Ash’s unrefined grunts as he surged into me one last time.
With his cock buried deep, I relaxed into his chest, causing him to fall against the back of the tub. Neither of us could catch our breaths as we attempted to calm down. But before I could get my racing heart under control, it stopped beating. It went from a harsh, thunderous rhythm to nothing, pumping blood through my veins to sucking the life out of me…all within the split second it took for Emma to appear in the doorway.
Her mouth hung open, eyes narrow, face askew. Utter disgust painted her expression like graffiti on a cracked wall. Though she didn’t wait around. Without giving me a chance to stop her, she turned and fled, running as though she were being chased by a madman.
“Oh my God…” I cried while frantically disconnecting from Ash, who attempted to help me out of the tub. “I have to stop her. I have to explain.”
Luckily, Ash didn’t hinder my escape. If anything, he was the calm to my storm, grabbing clothes I could quickly pull on and then staying behind to take care of the mess. It couldn’t have taken more than sixty seconds to make it out of my room, yet that one minute had to be the single longest moment of my life.
I came to a sudden halt in the living room when I found her in front of the kitchen island several feet away, her back to me with her head in her hands.
“Emma…” Her name came out wrapped in a burst of frantic air. My chest heaved, yet I couldn’t manage to get enough oxygen to my brain to make my feet move. “Honey, look at me. Please.”
She whispered, “So gross, Mom,” yet she turned around anyway. And the moment I caught the revulsion in her stare, I wanted to puke—though not nearly as much as when she added, “Couldn’t you have picked a guy your own age?”
Finally, I went to her and prayed she wouldn’t take off again. It was like approaching a wild animal. This was worse than anything I could’ve imagined, and it left me feeling like the child in the room, about to be scolded by her parent—completely irrational.
“Let me explain.” However, my plea fell on deaf ears.
Emma shook her head, shifted her gaze over my shoulder, and then returned her glare of disapproval to my face. “Do you have a thing for teenagers or something? Is that why I never see you date anyone? Because the guys you go after are so young they have curfews?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could utter the first word, Ash announced his presence. “Don’t talk to her that way, Em. That’s not fair.”
“Oh,” she scoffed, “so you think you can order me around just because you’re screwing my mom? Guess what, Asher…that doesn’t make you my dad. You don’t have the right—”
“Enough, Emma.” Somehow, Ash crossed the room until he stood next to me. His deep voice bellowed with anger while remorse left it full of grit. “This isn’t easy for any of us, so why don’t you come down from your high horse and let her explain.”
I turned, placing my hand on his chest to hold him back. “It’s okay. Let me handle this. I’ve got it. Go home, and after everything settles down, I’ll call you. But this is between my daughter and me.”
I’d never seen Ash more dejected than he was in that moment. The determination that hardened his expression fell away, leaving behind desperation and fear I never imagined seeing on his face. He didn’t argue, just nodded and retreated to the front door in silence.
Once he was gone, I faced Emma again, hoping she’d give me the chance to explain. Yet that seemed to be wishful thinking the second she opened her mouth and floored me with her aggression. “Are you serious, Mom? What the hell are you thinking? He’s the same age as Thomas. Do you have a thing for my boyfriend, too?”
“Emma Lee!” I’d had enough. I held up my hand to stop her from saying anything else she couldn’t come back from. “I understand you’re angry. You weren’t supposed to find out now…or like this. But I’m still your mother, and regardless of how you feel, you don’t have the right to treat me this way.”
“I don’t even know how I feel, Mom. This is all just too weird.” She shook her head with a sigh, then moved past me to grab her duffel bag off the couch.
By the time she had made it a few feet away from the front door, I realized she was leaving. “Where are you going?”
“Dad’s.”
“For how long?”
“I don’t know…maybe until I can wrap my mind around this and be able to express my feelings within my rights.”
All I could do was nod, knowing anything else would simply push her further away. “Well, technically this is still your night with him. So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“I told you, Mom…I don’t know when I’ll be back. As of right now, I don’t want to be here with you.”
As hard as it was to watch her walk out, there was nothing I could do about it.
Chapter Ten
Asher
I watched as Emma stormed out to her car and took off. Then I sent Kristy a text, asking if she was okay. That message went unanswered. So I called, yet she ignored it. I contemplated trying again, and then thought better of it.
Her refusal to respond or pick up the phone, coupled with Emma racing off, meant one thing—she hadn’t won the battle. I could only pray the war wasn’t over.
Deciding not to waste time k
nocking, I opened the front door and walked in. Two seconds later, my heart shattered. I found her in the kitchen, leaning against the center island with her face in her hands.
“Kristy…” My throat was raw from the emotion that strangled me, yet the fear that clawed its way into my words succeeded at grabbing her attention, forcing her to look at me. “What happened?”
The agony in her eyes compelled me to go to her. She needed the reassurance only I could offer, while I yearned for the relief I’d find once I had her in my arms. But the second I moved toward her, she backed away. In that moment, I would’ve rather been hit by a truck going eighty-four miles an hour. It would’ve been less painful than Kristy’s rejection.
It also would’ve put me out of my misery before I could hear her say, “I can’t do this with you anymore, Ash.”
“Why? What happened?”
“You saw what happened. She walked in on us while your dick was still in me. Your hands were all over me. She saw that. You were here when she flipped out. You heard what she said. How can you stand there and act like you don’t have a clue why I can’t do this with you?”
“Why was she even here? I thought she was supposed to be at the beach until tomorrow.”
She glanced at her cell on the counter. “Apparently, her sister got sick, so they came home early. I missed her text…because I was with you. She told me she was coming home tonight because she felt bad that I’d been alone all week.”
A tear slipped from her deep-blue eyes, no hint of gold to make them green, and ran down her cheek. I went to her again, unable to restrain myself. I didn’t stop to contemplate how painful it would be when she turned away, dismissing me. All I cared about was making this right.
“My daughter felt bad for leaving me home alone, and then showed up, only to find me in the tub with you—someone her age.” When she peered over her shoulder, I couldn’t stomach the regret that pooled at her lower lids, leaving trails of shame down her porcelain cheeks. “Now she doesn’t even want to be near me.”