by Sarah Tork
Someone needed to slap me for reacting so quickly to him. It’s so bad, documentary filmmakers needed to make a film about it. Adventures in The Cryptic Mind of a Seventeen Love Struck Girl.
I cleared my throat and tried again. “Tell me what happened?” I forced myself to let go of him, taking a step back.
“Pussy boys, at it again, trying to make a point.” James smirked, pulling me back in for a hug, resting his face in the curve of my neck. “But… who gives a shit. I don’t. I don’t give a shit about anything.”
“Okay,” I chuckled, hugging him tighter, feeling his heat. “I don’t give a shit either,”
He chuckled. “Good.”
Silence.
We swayed subtly, our music, crickets and whistles in the wind with the odd car noise deep in the background.
James chuckled. “Slow dancing in the middle of an empty street, it’s official… we’re weirdos.”
I chuckled. “You got that right.”
Chapter 2
ANNABELLE
Thursday November 1, 2012
The grass sparkled like fine narrow emeralds. Pink and purple rose petals fell from the sky. Trees were vibrant green, leaving me stunned by its spellbinding beauty. Fluffy baby animals ran in circles, playing for hours. A bell chimed loudly from the sky. I looked up and smiled. Grayson; my metallic violet colored parrot flew out from fluffy marshmallow clouds and came to me.
“For you, Miss Annabelle.” Grayson handed me a bottle and I unearthed a small piece of paper weathered by time.
“It’s a message from my mother. What does she want now?” My eyes crinkled in confusion as I read her message.
“Well, what is it?” Grayson chirped, jerking his beak at the note.
Anxiety filled my body to the brim. I dropped my arm and glanced at the sky in misery. “She wants me to come home…. right now.”
Jagged lines pierced though clouds, turning light into dark.
“Annabelle Simms, wake up!”
My eyes snapped open, finding MY MOM by my bed in in her blue floral pajamas. “It’s about time!” she hollered.
“I’m up!” I groaned loudly. I scanned my actual alarm clock and hissed. It was barely seven in the morning. “I’m not late for school.”
“I know,” Mom shrugged. If only she’d just leave. But she didn’t, and instead flung my blanket back.
“Mom!” I screeched, instinctively reaching for my body even though I had clothes on. “What if I’d been naked!”
“I gave birth to you, Annabelle!” Mom gasped. “I’ve seen you naked, for Christ sake!”
“Gross!” Someone gasped loudly. It came from the hallway, courtesy of my brother. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
Mom shooed him away. “Go get ready for school, Charles.”
“I think I’m going to puke.” Charles grinned.
“Go away!” I grabbed my pillow and flung it at him, but he quickly ducked.
Charles laughed and ran to his room. “Get better at your aim, sis. You suck.”
“Whatever,” I whispered, scowling in disgust as I left my room, going to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I shut the door and turned the lock.
Mom knocked on the door. “I almost forgot why I woke you up early. I’m throwing out all the frozen meals. I decided last night.”
I froze… because what? She couldn’t do that. You’re killing me, Mom!
Gulping the bad taste in my mouth back, I quickly shook off the confusion. “Why are you throwing them out?”
“Well,” she cleared her throat. “Aunt Claire’s best friend Mandy, you remember her, she’s a bit overweight. Well, she went to a nutritionist who specializes in organic food, and they spoke about frozen diet meals. According to Mandy, they’re filled with chemicals and are no good.”
“Okay….” I said, not knowing what else to say.
“You’ve been eating a lot of them lately, and I just wanted to let you know that I’m going through them all out right now.” Mom informed.
“Alright….” I stared at my reflection and shook my head slowly. My mom was a very SPECIAL kind of human. It’s way too early to be this annoyed already.
“Alright, well, I’m making omelets for breakfast.” she informed, leaving for the kitchen where I heard her open the freezer door loudly.
Mayday – Mayday – Mayday! Annoyance overload – Annoyance overload! I exhaled a deep breath and brushed my teeth.
Breakfast was interesting too….
“You’re a growing girl, Annabelle. You need more vitamins, so you can grow properly.” Mom stated.
What the hell? I took a quick look at my body and confirmed I was pretty much “grown”. I grabbed my backpack and phone, and slid on my flip-flops. I so was out of here.
“Bye!” I called and left the house.
The physical description of freedom was I “Annabelle Simms” walking from her house this morning. I checked my phone and my heart skipped a beat. There was a text message waiting for me.
Tiger: I miss your cute bum.
Annabelle: I miss air conditioning.
Tiger: I wish we spent the night together.
Annabelle: Me too.
Tiger: Even just to sleep. I like waking up with you in my arms.
Annabelle: Ditto.
Tiger: I sound like a pussy bitch right now.
Annabelle: Damn, my boyfriend’s a poet.
Tiger: Don’t tell anyone that! I’ll have to drop out of school, for sure. LOL.
Annabelle: My lips are sealed.
Tiger: Don’t talk about your lips right now.
Annabelle: LOL, alright. See you in class.
Tiger: later, baby.
When I arrived at my school, a bus drove to a stop and its doors popped open with a stampede of students rushing out.
Someone cleared his throat behind me. “Excuse me.”
I turned and glanced up at a familiar face. It was Josh. Instantly, memories of our brief conversation/hallway standoff from a couple of weeks ago flashed before my eyes, and…. yikes. And I was blocking his way… double yikes.
“Hey… Josh.” I said, feeling a wave of guilt wash over me.
“Hey.” Josh said, his face stoic.
I gulped. “How are you?”
His eyes narrowed quickly, like something clicked in his brain. “I’m fine.”
“That’s cool.” I rushed to keep up but he just kept going faster. I smiled warmly at him, trying to evoke friendliness.
“Yeah, anyways, good talking with you. I gotta go.” He tried walking faster to get away from me, but I wasn’t having it.
“Hey, stop.” I grabbed his shoulder. “Why are you running away from me?”
He looked at my hand on his shoulder and I quickly pulled it away. He looked angry. “Why do you think, Annabelle?”
“I’m sorry,” I murmured, knowing why.
Shaking his head, he grimaced. “Your tool head boyfriend, that’s why. If he sees me talking to you, he’ll come after me again. Do you know what it’s like being HUMILIATED, in front of everyone?”
Yes, I do! I wanted to tell him that, but for some reason, I just couldn’t. All I could do was stare at Josh as he evoked scorned to a T.
Wow…. did I do this?
How could I make A PERSON genuinely feel like this?
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Josh shook his head and looked to the ground, taking a deep breath. “I gotta go,” he mumbled and left me standing on the sidewalk, stewing in his truth, and in my own guilt that grew nine heads.
So… the guilty verdict… still alive and well…. WONDERFUL.
From sweet breakfast hell this morning, to my failure to make things right again with Josh… today, so far, was not going well… like at all.
So tragic… Sigh… goodbye mental health…. hello mental hospital.
Wow… News flash. I’m a drama queen.
I followed the crowd down the sidewalk, stopping by the parking lot entrance. A car roared passed us
, turning into the school parking lot. I recognized the car immediately. Holding back my smile, my heart fluttered.
James sped past others in the parking lot and swiftly parked his black SUV. Despite his arrogance on the road, he was a very good driver.
While everyone crossed, I stayed back and stared at the parking lot. I felt like I was watching a commercial about high school popularity. It was all very slow-mo. James got out of his car with ease, lifted his backward baseball cap off his head and ran his fingers through his wavy brown locks that shined underneath the sunny morning sky.
He’s not alone for even a second before his friends from all across the parking lot joined him by the trunk of his car, slapping hands, knuckling each other’s shoulders, and all that “bro” stuff.
Then the girls came…. ugh.
Squealing.
Acting like idiots at the sight of him… and the rest of his friends.
Kill me now!
“Hey James!”
“Oh my God, he’s looking at me!”
“Looking good, Lawson!”
“You need to call me!”
“How come you didn’t dance with us last night!”
“Or come party with us afterwards!”
My face grew hot as monster jealousy engulfed me. They were being so disrespectful. They knew James and me were together – together, as in boyfriend and girlfriend. Oh god! I’m making myself sick.
Forcing myself to look away, I checked for Jenna by the steps and couldn’t see her. It was still a bit early for her to arrive. I looked back at the parking lot and the situation hadn’t changed.
But screw it. Something needed to change.
And that was ME.
I needed COURAGE.
I needed FEARLESSNESS.
I needed to be CARELESS, WILD and FREE.
My heart was pounding like crazy, and simply breathing had turned into a three-step process. New decisions were about to be made. Life as I knew it…. was about to change.
YOU. CAN. DO. THIS.
Plot twist. Old Annabelle would have scampered off, stewing in anxiety; over a situation she apparently had NO CONTROL over. New Annabelle, well she stewed in a mixed bag of nerves, anger and anxiety, but her legs moved in THAT direction, you know… inside the parking lot.
BECAUSE I WAS TOTALLY GOING TO DO THIS.
One foot over the sidewalk and onto the parking lot pavement, my mission was set. I was going to walk over to my man, and the happy go lucky “popular people”…. and… and… um and…. and…. OH NO!
Nausea and light-headedness struck me like an angry slap to the face. Fear was back with a vengeance, bursting my bubble of confidence into smithereens, leaving me more vulnerable than before, because at least on the sidewalk I’d been safe.
Mayday! Mayday! Mission not complete…. mission not complete…. mission not complete!
I can’t do this! There are too many perfect type people out here!
But James is here, and I want to be with him right now.
But I’m scared. All those people…. they’ll look at me funny.
So what! Why are you letting them rule your life?
There was more to this problem than I was letting on, though. Watching him shine brightly, being happy and carefree, all without me was a sucker punch to the gut. Another huge slap to the face, AKA... the ultimate reality check.
Shaking off my issues, I rushed over to the patch of grass that lined the parking lot. If I couldn’t walk up to the physical description of “Popularity Under the Sun”, then I’d simply just hide out behind his car until his personal fan club scampered off to go fix their hair, or reapply their lip gloss.
I ducked low until I finally made it in front of James’s black SUV and turned upright, feeling ridiculous. Not only did I probably look like a creeper, I was acting like an idiot, too. I was a scaredy cat, all while my boyfriend and his friends chilled by the trunk of his car, laughing and joking out loud…. like they owned the parking lot. I turned and faced the school, leaning against the hood of his car, which was slightly hot. But I didn’t care; the burning sensation was a welcome, taking my mind off my stupid anxiety. I took calm breaths and watched people walk by, heading inside school, which reminded me, Jenna would probably be showing up soon.
“What are you doing?”
That voice sent waves of nervousness through my body. My heart hammered, because the cat was out of the bag and I, Annabelle Simms, had been discovered. I quickly leaned off his hood and stepped away, standing back on the patch of grass, looking between the SUV and the red car beside it.
Standing there with his muscular arms crossed, with his dark blue shirt tightening over his broad chest, James smirked at me.
His friends stayed back, but his crowd of followers looked our way with weird expressions on their face, obviously confused why their “star” wasn’t gracing them with his presence anymore. My anxiety hit the roof. My in-house thermometer hit red, about to burst. My stomach filled with butterflies. My vision went wonky. My balance became borderline dangerous, and all I had to say to that was, thank God for the patch of grass underneath me…. all the better to fall.
His crowd of followers fucked off, probably realizing he wouldn’t be acknowledging them, not while I was here anyway. At least that’s what I wanted to believe.
“Hi,” I finally said, locked in his hypnotizing stare.
His smirk vanished.
Our reunion wasn’t so amusing anymore.
Everything about this situation was stupid.
And completely unnecessary.
We’d texted earlier and everything had been fine. But I was the one who’d made things weird again, which I seemed to do a lot since meeting him back in August. Making things weird was a talent of mine, and it also must have been in my DNA, because I could turn any situation into a weird one.
But… he knew me. He knew I acted like this, not because I wanted to be difficult, but because I couldn’t help it.
Narrowing his beautiful green eyes, staring at me seriously, and intensely, he crossed over between his car and the red one beside him, and before I could react and make things weird again, his strong arms went around my bottom and I was up in his arms, with a full view of the roof of his car. I shivered from the feel of his arms, flexing, and hugging my body. My heart hammered in anxiety – times a million. I did my best to remain composed as I wrapped my legs automatically, and tightly around his waist…. which was wonderful and incredibly scary, because HELLO we were the visual description of attention seeking.
“Hi,” he whispered.
I gulped my nerves back and inhaled air. “Hi,”
We were in our own bubble where everything around us went silent. I felt heat from the sun… and his body. Goose bumps trailed down my arms. Another shiver shot down my spine. My heart skipped beats. My breathing was slow and steady, yet rough at the same time. My body felt electric up in his arms. An intense heat stirred deep in my belly, down to my core. Something new was in control now. But despite all that, James was the remedy to my anxiety.
His lips brushed over my lips, soft at first, then hungry, fast, breathless, full of feeling and intensity. This kiss was serious, but very public. Exhibitionist worthy… probably not, but still, kissing passionately in public would never be easy.
*~*~*
ANNABELLE
Lunch was supposed to be easy for me today. I had every intention of ordering a burger and smothering lots of ketchup on it, and then I’d eat it.
But that wasn’t going to happen thanks to Donna Tallins, Royal Heights High’s bona fide psychopath with a French manicure. Her obsession with serving the “cold hard truth” was beginning to get really old.
“Go and bother someone else. I’m tired.” I groaned dramatically.
Like a malfunctioning robot in one last desperate attempt to survive, the spotlight shifted from me to Becky.
“You’re a funny person, Sloaner. Thought you were smart, but I guess not if you’re han
ging out with this loser. So I guess that makes you a loser, too.” Donna snarled.
“Leave her alone,” I warned, but Donna wouldn’t acknowledge me again.
“What happened to all your other… friends?” Donna cooed evilly at Becky. “They kick you out or something? I heard your best friend made out with your boyfriend…. sorry…. I mean the guy who played you like an idiot for all of high school.”
Becky’s jaw twitched but she stayed quiet.
I had to stop Donna. “Go screw yourself, you fake ass bitch.”
Woah… where did that come from?
Donna’s “power bitch” façade finally broke. “You, shut up! Everyone would have been better off if you had just stayed fat and invisible! Out of everybody’s way! My senior year is ruined because of you!”
Fat and invisible….
The room went quiet except for a few gasps. A numbing heat took control of my body. My eyes burned but I kept them wide, avoiding the reaction that evil girl wanted. I inhaled through my nose, but my heart raced dangerously. I wasn’t looking but I felt like all eyes were on me.
Diddly squat came out of Becky and that disappointed me because I at least tried to stand up for her. She could have done the same for me instead of acting like a scared turtle quickly hiding back in her shell… leaving me to fend this snake off solo.
The next twenty seconds didn’t shock me. Becky ran out from the restaurant, and I didn’t follow her. Donna and Stacey took that as my defeat and were about to walk away when the entrance door popped open.
Vice Principle Adams barged inside. “What’s going on in here?”