He seemed startled by her question. “What about me?”
“You’ve been through some pretty bleak times in recent years. Do you still believe you’ll recover, that you’ll find your way back?”
He ducked his head, furrowing his brow, before raising a penetrating gaze. “I’ve decided I don’t want my old life back. Except for my children, I want no part of my past anymore.”
A particularly stout, cold wind buffeted them, and she drew him inside by the arm and closed the door. “What are you saying? That you’re giving up? Matt, you can’t—”
“No. I’m not giving up, just shifting my focus. My priorities are different.”
Holly squeezed the small bird figurine until the metal loop bit into her palm. “What are your priorities now? What do you want?”
He stroked a cold hand along her cheek, and she shivered, more from his gentleness and the longing he stirred in her than his icy fingers. “I want you, Holly, and I’m willing to fight for you. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to prove my innocence to you and earn back your trust.”
She stepped back, away from his caress, and closed her eyes. She couldn’t think straight when he touched her, and she needed all her faculties to decide how to respond.
“What about your kids? Your medical career?”
“I still want my kids, of course. I won’t give up on getting them back.” He rolled his shoulders and rubbed the cold from his hands. “And there are better ways I can employ my medical skills than private practice. I’m going to write that grant request I mentioned to include positions for a skeletal staff.”
“With you as the lead doctor?”
He shrugged. “That’ll be up to the executive board at the Community Aid Center. But yeah, I’d apply.”
A smile, born of the warmth his selflessness and caring fired inside her, spread across her face. “They’d be crazy not to hire you.”
He flashed a quick grin, then grew pensive. “Holly, I love you. I—”
She raised a hand and took another step back.
“I need more time. I’m still…confused. I have to be sure before…” Hugging herself, she rubbed the chill that chased up her arms.
He jammed his hands in his pockets and nodded. “Take all the time you need. I want you to be sure, too. I don’t want you to have any doubts about who I really am, what I stand for, or how much I care about you.”
Her shoulders sagged. “Believe me, nobody’s more ready to put all this behind me than I am. It’s just with Robert telling me one thing, raising all these questions about everything from Ryan’s case to the fire, and Zoey encouraging me to follow my heart…my head has been spinning the past few days. I trust Robert, but I also trust Zoey. And I want to trust you. But how do I reconcile all the different advice and opinions?”
“I kind of like what Zoey told you. Trust your heart. And—” Matt snapped his mouth closed abruptly and sighed.
“And what?”
He shifted his weight and angled a reluctant glance toward her. “Well…I’ve been thinking a lot about Robert’s accusations, his hostility toward me, and it got me wondering.”
When he paused, she prodded, “Go on.”
“Did he play any role in the investigation when Ryan was killed?”
Holly stiffened, wary where his line of questions was going. “No. He couldn’t. It would’ve been a conflict of interest. But…he was one of the first ones on the scene when Ryan was found. I think he was the first one on the scene.”
“Why was that?”
“He told me…” Holly braced a hand on the banister to the stairs and dug up old memories. “He and Ryan had arranged to meet at the old church so Robert could help with…something, but when Robert got to the church, Ryan was dead.” Holly lifted her gaze to the stained glass over her door. “Robert thinks Ryan may have wanted to salvage that window, the same as I wanted to when I saw it.”
Matt shrugged. “I suppose it’s possible.” He paused, and his gaze darkened. “Holly, if Robert was the first person on the scene after Ryan was killed, he had the opportunity to alter the scene or destroy evidence.”
“Why would he do that? He’s a cop! He knows crime scene procedures. He wouldn’t do anything to tamper with evidence!”
“Are you sure about that? What if he’s covering for somebody?”
Holly bristled. “What are you saying?”
Matt raised both hands, palms out. “Just think about it, Holly. As a cop, he’s at the police station every day. He has access to the evidence room. He could have even gotten to Parker’s file.”
“You think Robert messed with the investigation? That he tampered with evidence?”
Matt pressed his lips in a firm line. “I don’t really know. I’m just trying to look at this thing from all angles. I wouldn’t want to convict Robert on circumstantial evidence—even though that’s how he’s trying to incriminate me. But think about this—Robert was also one of the first people on the scene here after the fire. He says he was on his way home, but what if he came here, set the fire, then went down the road a little ways to wait for the fire trucks to arrive?”
Holly nearly choked. “Are you out of your mind? What possible motive could he have?”
“What motive does Jon have? What motive do I have?” Frustration vibrated in his voice. “I know it’s a long shot, but it makes as much sense as anything else.” He squared his shoulders. “In fact, if you go with the theory that he tampered with evidence in Ryan’s case, maybe he does have a motive. Maybe he was trying to kill you to keep you from finding out that he interfered with a police investigation. Or maybe he was just trying to scare you. Maybe he was trying to frame me. Hell, Holly, I don’t know!” Matt’s tone grew uncharacteristically loud, and a blaze of conviction lit his eyes. “But the more I look at Robert’s role in all of this, the more questions I have.”
Lifting a trembling hand to her mouth, Holly drew a ragged breath. “He’s family. Jana’s husband. Ryan’s brother-in-law. He wouldn’t—”
But she couldn’t finish the thought. How did she really know what Robert would or wouldn’t do if pushed in a corner?
Matt stood with his arms akimbo and his head down. He heaved a deep sigh and raised weary eyes to her. “I’m sorry, Holly. I didn’t mean to upset you like this on your birthday. I never should’ve brought this up now. But if you’re going to be making a decision about our future, about who to believe, I think you need all the facts.”
She raised her chin a notch. “Or maybe you’re just trying to throw suspicion off yourself.”
His jaw tightened, and a muscle jumped in his cheek. Profound sadness filled his eyes, and he shook his head. Silently, he turned and headed for the door.
“Matt, wait!”
He stopped with his hand on the doorknob but didn’t turn.
“Don’t go. I just—You’ve given me a lot to think about and—” Holly sank down on the bottom step of the staircase. Raking her hair back from her face with her fingers, she tried to wrap her brain around all the twists and possibilities Matt had suggested. None of the events of the past few weeks, the past several months since Ryan’s death made any sense to her. How could she follow her heart when her heart didn’t know what to believe, who to believe, how to feel?
“I have to go to Jana and Robert’s now. They’re having a family birthday party for me and—” She stared at Matt, her heart thundering against her ribs. “Wait here for me. I shouldn’t be too late. I want to talk. I want—” To hold you, to make love to you, to go back to how things were between us before reality and doubt crashed down on us.
He held her gaze, an unspoken connection and longing as evident in his eyes as she knew it was in hers. “Holly, I—” A loud thump from the kitchen interrupted whatever he meant to say. He jerked his gaze toward the closed kitchen door. “You have company?”
She pushed to her feet, shaking her head. “No, I brought the kittens inside from the cold. Lord only knows what mischief they’re up
to.” She tipped her head toward the next room. “Perhaps you could check on them, keep them from destroying the house while I’m out?”
He agreed with a nod and an easy grin. “I’ll wait for you.”
Chapter 16
Holly stomped snow off her boots on Jana’s front porch as she waited for someone to answer her knock.
When her sister-in-law opened the door, she pulled Holly into a warm hug. “There’s the birthday girl! Come on in and get warmed up. Robert made a fire in the living room, and I’ve got a pot of coffee brewing.”
Holly hung her coat on the rack in the entry hall and followed Jana to the living room. Savory scents of homemade bread and roasting beef filled the air. “Dinner smells wonderful as always. Thanks for doing this.”
“My pleasure.” Jana smiled warmly.
“How were the roads? Any trouble getting here?” Robert stood from his lounge chair and greeted Holly with a chaste kiss on the cheek. The scent of alcohol clung to him, and she sighed mentally. She prayed Robert’s drinking wouldn’t become a factor to spoil the evening as it had on Thanksgiving.
“A few icy spots. You have to be careful, but the roads are still negotiable for now.”
Robert gave her a firm look. “Well, if it gets dicey, you’re staying here tonight. No arguments. I think Santa will still find you.” He added a wink as he headed back to his chair.
“Thanks, but I plan to head home before it can get treacherous. I—” She hesitated. “I have someone waiting for me at home.”
Robert stiffened, and Jana tipped her head inquisitively. “Who?”
She divided a reluctant gaze between them. “Matt. He brought me a birthday gift, and…well, we have a lot to talk over.”
Robert grunted in disgust. “Holly, what’s wrong with you? Why can’t you see that he’s using you?”
Jana sent her husband a warning look. “Not today, Robert.”
Robert tensed, but he inhaled a deep breath and nodded to his wife.
Jana twitched an awkward smile to Holly. “Jon and Kim are running late, but they’ll be here in a while. I’ll be back in a minute. Make yourself comfortable.”
Holly gave Robert a wary glance as she moved closer to the fireplace and warmed her hands. The questions Matt had raised about Robert’s involvement in Ryan’s investigation, in the fire at her house, paraded through her head. She couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that she was missing something obvious. Playing nice with Ryan’s brother-in-law, who was unpredictable at best when he was drinking, would be hard enough tonight without the doubts that plagued her.
“Here you go.”
Holly jumped when Jana spoke, jarring her from her thoughts. She turned to accept the steaming mug of coffee Jana offered. “Thanks.”
Jana helped carry the conversation by asking about Holly’s family, her kindergarten class and her completed renovations. “I’ll have to stop by and see the finished product. I’m sure it’s beautiful.”
Jon and Kim arrived, and dinner was served along with birthday cake and more coffee. Holly had to force herself to eat. Watching Robert drink scotch throughout the meal did little to calm her jitters.
Her thoughts kept drifting to Matt, waiting for her at home, and to the suspicions he’d raised about Robert. By the end of the evening, after they’d said goodbye to Jon and Kim, Holly couldn’t bite her tongue any longer.
“Robert,” she said calmly when she had a moment alone with him while Jana excused herself to the bathroom. “Before he died, Ryan mentioned to me that he was concerned about your drinking. And I have to say, recently it has bothered me, too.”
He tensed visibly. “I don’t have a probl’m, if that’s what you’re sayin’.”
“It’s just that I’ve noticed you’ve been drinking a lot, and—”
“Ya know,” he interrupted, aiming a finger at her belligerently, “if your husband had minded his own bus’ness, none of this would have happened.”
An icy tingle nipped her neck. “None of what would have happened?”
A look of horror flashed over Robert’s face, and he shook his head hard. “Nothing. I—Never mind.”
“None of what would have happened?” Holly repeated emphatically.
Robert glared at her. “Drop it.”
Suspicion tickled her spine, and dread turned the food in her stomach to rocks. “Robert, do you have access to Detective Parker’s file concerning Ryan’s murder?”
Color suffused his face. “That’s not my case. I’ve told you everything I know, everything Parker’s told me.”
Holly squared her shoulders and plowed on. “That’s not what I asked. Could you get access to Detective Parker’s files?”
“You think I took the missing evidence, don’t you?” Robert clenched his fists and his jaw defensively.
Holly hesitated. “I’m not saying that. But I’m trying to fill in some blanks, and the missing evidence from Ryan’s case is at the top of that list.”
“Missing?” Jana said from the living-room door. “What are you talking about?”
Holly hadn’t noticed her sister-in-law’s return. Now she waited for Robert to fill his wife in, and when he didn’t, she explained in broad terms what she and Matt had discovered.
Jana sent Robert an angry glare. “You knew about this and didn’t tell me?”
Ignoring his wife’s query, Robert stepped closer to Holly, fury blazing in his eyes. “I told you a long time ago to leave the investigation of Ryan’s death to the police. You have no business poking your nose in this!”
Holly met his challenging stare with her own. “I have every right! He was my husband, and I deserve answers!”
Robert quaked with rage, his volume rising. “Leave it alone! You’re going to ruin everything!”
Holly jolted. “Ruin everything? What on earth—?”
“Robert? What are you saying?” Jana asked, her face pale.
Biting out a curse, Robert whirled away from Holly and stormed across the room. He hurled his highball glass into the fireplace with a roar.
The first fingers of fear wrapped around Holly’s throat. Robert’s inebriation made him less predictable, less inhibited, but a need to know the truth pushed her forward. “Did you tamper with the evidence in Ryan’s murder?”
Robert said nothing as he glared at her, breathing heavily, his teeth clenched in a snarl.
Jana sank onto the sofa, visibly shaken.
“Were you protecting someone? Covering for someone?” Holly’s dread grew as Robert remained silent, glowering darkly from across the room. “Did you kill Ryan, Robert?”
Jana gasped.
“No,” he growled.
“Did you?” Holly shook so hard she could barely stand.
“No!” he shouted.
“Did you set the fire at my house? Did you try to kill me?” Her voice trembled, and tears clogged her throat.
Robert snatched up a vase from the mantel and smashed it in the fireplace. “Yes, dammit! I had to stop you, before you ruined everything!”
Horror punched her in the gut. She struggled to draw air into her constricted lungs. “You did kill my husband, didn’t you?”
“It was an accident!” Robert shouted, tears cracking his voice.
“No!” Jana sobbed, burying her face in her hands.
Holly stared at Robert numbly, too stunned to process more than the fact that she had to leave, had to get away from the man who’d robbed her of the man she had loved. Turning, she staggered toward the door.
“Where are you going?” Robert raged, a note of panic sharpening his tone. “Get back here!”
Holly grabbed her coat and plowed through the front door, not bothering to close it as she rushed to her truck. Through her haze of shock, she heard Robert storm out to the front porch.
“Holly! Get back here! I won’t let you ruin me!”
Her hand shook as she fumbled to start her engine. Tears blurred her view as she spun down the driveway.
A tiny voice
in her head told her she was too upset to drive, but she couldn’t stay and face Robert. Ryan’s murderer.
It was an accident!
A fist of grief and disbelief squeezed her throat. She struggled to draw air into her constricted lungs. Blinking hard, she cleared her vision as she hurtled onto the state highway out of town.
Robert had set the fire. Tried to kill her. Matt had been right.
Matt…
She reached for her purse on the seat next to her, digging for her cell phone. Keeping one hand on the steering wheel, she thumbed the buttons to call her house.
After several rings, Matt answered, and fresh tears flooded her eyes. She needed his arms around her now, needed him to tell her things would be all right.
“Matt.” Her voice cracked.
“Holly? Honey, what’s wrong?”
“Robert…killed Ryan. He…said he had to stop me—” She gasped as her tires slid on a patch of ice and the back of her truck fishtailed.
“I’m so sorry, honey. I know this has to be a shock to you.”
“Matt, he’s family…how could he?” She choked on a sob. Lifting her arm, she wiped her eyes on her coat sleeve.
“Where are you?”
She’d reached the curvy stretch of road that crossed the mountains outside of town. “Coming home. I—Oh God…why didn’t I see—”
“Don’t, Holly. No one knew.”
She drew a fortifying breath, trying to quiet the tempest inside her so she could focus on the road. Glancing in her rearview mirror, she spotted a pair of headlights approaching behind her. Fast.
“Look, we’ll talk when you get here,” Matt said.
“I have to go. The roads are getting bad and—”
Whomp!
Her truck lurched forward. Holly screamed. Her cell phone flew from her grasp to the floor.
The car behind her had rammed her.
“Holly! Holly, what happened?” Matt’s voice filtered through the truck cab from the phone on the passenger-side floor. Out of reach.
Adrenaline coursed through her, spinning her thoughts. She tried to force enough oxygen into her lungs to speak. A check of her mirrors told her the car that had hit her was still riding her bumper.
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