by 50 Cent
In 1934 he was commissioned by Edgar Kaufmann, a Pittsburgh department-store magnate, to design a vacation house facing a waterfall on Bear Creek in rural Pennsylvania. Wright needed to see the design in his mind before he could commit it to paper; for this project nothing would come to him, and so he decided to play a game on himself. He simply ignored the work. Months went by. Finally Kaufmann had had enough and telephoned Wright—he demanded to see the design. Wright exclaimed that it was finished. Kaufmann said he would be over in two hours to look it over.
Wright’s associates were aghast—he had not yet penciled in one line. Nonplussed and with a rush of creative energy, he began to design the house. It would not face the waterfall, he decided, but stand over and incorporate it. When Kaufmann saw the design, he was delighted. The house became known as Fallingwater, often considered Wright’s most beautiful creation. In essence, Wright had forced his mind to face the problem without research or preconceptions, completely in the moment. It was an exercise to free himself from prior habits and create something totally new.
What often prevent us from using the mental fluidity and freedom that we naturally possess are the physical routines in our lives. We see the same people and do the same things, and our minds follow these patterns. The solution then is to break this up. For instance, we could deliberately indulge in some random, even irrational act, perhaps doing the very opposite of what we would normally do in our day-to-day life. By taking an action we have never done before, we place ourselves in unfamiliar territory—our minds naturally awaken to the novel situation. In a similar vein, we can force ourselves to take different routes, visit strange places, encounter different people, wake up at odd hours, or read books that challenge our minds instead of dull them. We should practice this when we feel particularly blocked and uncreative. In such moments, it is best to be ruthless with ourselves and our patterns.
CREATE A SENSE OF DESTINY
In the year 1428, soldiers stationed at the garrison at the French town of Vaucouleurs began to receive visits from a sixteen-year-old girl named Jeanne d’Arc (Joan of Arc). She was the daughter of lowly peasants from a nearby poor village, and she repeated to these soldiers the same message: she had been chosen by God to rescue France from the desperate state it had fallen into. In the previous few years, the country had become overrun by English invaders, who now held the French king hostage in England. The English were on the verge of conquering the key French city of Orléans. The Dauphin, heir to the French throne, was languishing away at a castle in the country, choosing to do nothing. Jeanne had had visions from various saints who explained to her precisely what she must do—convince the Dauphin to give her troops to lead to Orléans, defeat the English there, and then lead the Dauphin to Reims, where he would be crowned the new king of France, to be known as Charles VII.
Many people in France at the time were having such visions, and the soldiers who listened to Jeanne could not help but feel skeptical. But Jeanne was different from the others. Despite the soldiers’ lack of interest, she kept returning with her usual message. Nothing could discourage her. She was fearless, moving unescorted among so many restless soldiers. She spoke plainly, like any peasant girl, but there was not a shred of doubt in her voice, and her eyes were lit up with conviction. She was certain of these visions and would not rest until she had fulfilled her destiny. Her explanations of what she would do were so detailed that they seemed to have the weight of reality.
And so a few soldiers came to believe she was for real and set in motion a chain of events. They convinced the local governor to allow them to escort her to the Dauphin. The Dauphin eventually believed her story as well and gave her the troops she requested. The citizens of Orléans, convinced she was destined to be their savior, rallied to her side and helped her defeat the English. The momentum she brought to the French side continued for well over a year, until she was captured and sold to the English and, after a lengthy trial, burned at the stake as a witch.
The story of Jeanne d’Arc demonstrates a simple principle: the higher your self-belief, the more your power to transform reality. Having supreme confidence makes you fearless and persistent, allowing you to overcome obstacles that stop most people in their tracks. It makes others believe in you as well. And the most intense form of self-belief is to feel a sense of destiny impelling you forward. This destiny can come from otherworldly sources or it can come from yourself. Think of it in these terms: you have a set of skills and experiences that make you unique. They point towards some life task that you were meant to accomplish. You see signs of this in the predilections of your youth, certain tasks you were naturally drawn to. When you are involved in this task, everything seems to flow more naturally. Believing you are destined to accomplish something does not make you passive or unfree, but the opposite. You are liberated of the normal doubts and confusions that plague us. You have a sense of purpose that guides you but does not chain you to one way of doing things. And when your willpower is so deeply engaged, it will push you past any limits or dangers.
BET ON YOURSELF
It is always easy to rationalize your own doubts and conservative instincts, particularly when times are tough. You will convince yourself that it is foolhardy to take any risks, that it is better to wait for when circumstances are more propitious. But this is a dangerous mentality. It signifies an overall lack of confidence in yourself that will carry over to better times. You will find it hard to rouse yourself out of your defensive posture. The truth is that the greatest inventions and advances in technology or business generally come in negative periods because there is a greater necessity for creative thinking and radical solutions that break with the past. These are moments that are ripe for opportunity. While others retrench and retreat, you must think of taking risks, trying new things, and looking at the future that will come out of the present crisis.
You must always be prepared to place a bet on yourself, on your future, by heading in a direction that others seem to fear. This means you believe that if you fail, you have the inner resources to recover. This belief acts as a kind of mental safety net. When you move ahead on some new venture or direction, your mind will snap to attention; your energy will be focused and intense. By making yourself feel the necessity to be creative, your mind will rise to the occasion.
Reversal of Perspective
For most of us, the words “ego” and “egotism” express something negative. Egotistical people have an oversize opinion of themselves. Instead of considering what is important for society, a group, or family, they think first and foremost of themselves and act upon this. Their vision is narrowed to the point of seeing everything in reference to their needs and desires. But there is another way to look at it: we all have an ego, a sense of who we are. And this ego, or self-relationship, is either strong or weak.
People with a weak ego do not have a secure sense of their worth or potential. They pay extra attention to the opinions of others. They might perceive anything as a personal attack or affront. They need constant attention and validation from others. To compensate for and disguise this fragility, they will often assume an arrogant, aggressive front. This needy, dependent, self-obsessed variety of ego is what we find irritating and distasteful.
A strong ego, however, is completely different. People who have a solid sense of their own value and who feel secure about themselves have the capacity to look at the world with greater objectivity. They can be more considerate and thoughtful because they can get outside of themselves. People with a strong ego set up boundaries—their sense of pride will not allow them to accept manipulative or hurtful behavior. We generally like to be around such types. Their confidence and strength is contagious. To have such a strong ego should be an ideal for all of us.
So many people who attain the heights of power in this culture—celebrities, for instance—have to make a show of false humility and modesty, as if they got as far as they did by accident and not by ego or ambition. They want to act as if they are n
o different from anyone else and are almost embarrassed by their power and success. These are all signs of a weak ego. As an egotist of the strong variety, you trumpet your individuality and take great pride in your accomplishments. If others cannot accept that, or judge you as arrogant, that is their problem, not yours.
WE ARE FREE WHEN OUR ACTS PROCEED FROM OUR ENTIRE PERSONALITY, WHEN THEY EXPRESS IT, WHEN THEY EXHIBIT THAT INDEFINABLE RESEMBLANCE TO IT WHICH WE FIND OCCASIONALLY BETWEEN THE ARTIST AND HIS WORK.
—Henri Bergson
CHAPTER 10
Confront Your Mortality—the Sublime
IN THE FACE OF OUR INEVITABLE MORTALITY WE CAN DO ONE OF TWO THINGS. WE CAN ATTEMPT TO AVOID THE THOUGHT AT ALL COSTS, CLINGING TO THE ILLUSION THAT WE HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD. OR WE CAN CONFRONT THIS REALITY, ACCEPT AND EVEN EMBRACE IT, CONVERTING OUR CONSCIOUSNESS OF DEATH INTO SOMETHING POSITIVE AND ACTIVE. IN ADOPTING SUCH A FEARLESS PHILOSOPHY, WE GAIN A SENSE OF PROPORTION, BECOME ABLE TO SEPARATE WHAT IS PETTY FROM WHAT IS TRULY IMPORTANT. KNOWING OUR DAYS TO BE NUMBERED, WE HAVE A SENSE OF URGENCY AND MISSION. WE CAN APPRECIATE LIFE ALL THE MORE FOR ITS IMPERMANENCE. IF WE CAN OVERCOME THE FEAR OF DEATH, THEN THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO FEAR.
The Hustler’s Metamorphosis
I HAD REACHED THE POINT AT WHICH I WAS NOT AFRAID TO DIE. THIS SPIRIT MADE ME A FREEMAN IN FACT, WHILE I REMAINED A SLAVE IN FORM.
—Frederick Douglass
By the mid-1990s Curtis Jackson felt supremely dissatisfied with his life as a hustler. The only way up and out that he could see was music. He had some talent as a rapper, but that wouldn’t get him very far in this world. He felt somewhat confused about how to break into the business, and he was impatient to begin the process. Then one evening in 1996 all of that changed: at a Manhattan nightclub Curtis (now known as 50 Cent) met the famous rapper and producer Jam Master Jay. He could sense that this was his one opportunity, and he would have to make the best of it. He talked Jay into letting him visit his studio the following day to hear him rap. There he managed to impress him enough that Jay agreed to serve as his mentor. It seemed that everything now would fall into place.
Fifty had saved money to tide him over while he moved into this new career, but it wouldn’t last forever. Jay got him a few gigs, but they didn’t pay. On the streets near his home he would see his hustler friends doing well, while his funds were dwindling to nothing. What would he do when he ran out of money? He had already sold his car and jewelry. He had recently fathered a son with his girlfriend and he needed money to support the child. He started to feel more impatient than ever. After much persistence he got someone at Columbia Records to hear his music, and the label became interested in signing him to a deal. But to get out of a contract he had signed with Jay, he had to give him almost all of the advance money from Columbia. What was worse, at Columbia he now found himself lost amid all the other rappers signed to the label. His future looked more uncertain than ever.
With his savings almost gone, he would now have to return to hustling on the streets, and this made him feel bitter. His former colleagues were not too happy to see him again. Feeling like he needed money fast, he became more aggressive than usual and made some enemies on the streets who began to threaten him. He had been splitting his time between the record studio and hustling, and his first album at Columbia was about to come out, but the label was doing nothing to promote it. Everything in his life seemed to be unraveling at the same time.
Then one afternoon in May of 2000, as he got into the backseat of a friend’s car, a young man suddenly appeared at the car window brandishing a gun and began firing at him at close range. The bullets went all over, nine of them piercing his body, including one that opened a giant hole in his jaw. The assassin then hurried away to an awaiting car, certain he had done his job with the shot to Fifty’s head. Fifty’s friends quickly drove him to the nearest hospital. As it all unfolded, the event itself didn’t appear real to him. It was like a movie, something he had seen happen to others. But at one point, while he was being operated on, he sensed that he was close to death and suddenly it all seemed very real. A searing light flooded his eyes, and for a few seconds a shadow crept over it, while everything else came to a stop. It was an oddly calm moment; then it passed.
In the months to come he would stay in his grandparents’ house, recovering from the near mortal wounds he had suffered. As he regained his strength he could almost laugh at the whole thing. He had cheated death. Of course, for hustlers in the hood this was no big deal and nobody would feel sorry for him. He had to move on and not look back, while also keeping an eye on the killers who would be looking to finish the job. In the wake of the shooting, Columbia had canceled his album and dropped him from the label—he was surrounded by too much violence. Fifty would get his revenge—he would launch the kind of mix-tape campaign on the streets that would make him famous and those same executives would come back, begging to sign him.
As he geared up for action, however, he noticed that something had changed inside him. He found himself getting up earlier than usual in the morning and writing songs late into the night, completely immersed in his work. When it came to distributing his tapes on the streets, he didn’t care about making money in the present—he couldn’t care less anymore about clothes, jewelry, or nightlife. Every penny he made he poured back into the campaign. He didn’t pay attention to all of the petty squabbles others were trying to drag him into. His eyes were focused on one thing alone, and nothing else mattered. Some days he would work with an intensity that surprised him. He was putting everything he had into this one shot at success—there was no plan B.
In the back of his mind he knew that it was that moment near death that had changed him for good. He could still feel the original sensation in his body, the light and the shadow, and it filled him with a sense of urgency he had never experienced before, as if death were on his heels. In the months before the shooting, everything had been falling apart; now it was all falling into place, like destiny.
Years later, as he amassed his business empire, Fifty began to encounter more and more people playing strange power games. A company that had partnered with him would suddenly want to renegotiate their contract or act skittish and consider pulling out—acting as if they had just found out about his notorious past. Perhaps it was just a ruse to squeeze out better terms. Then there were those at his record label who treated him with increasing disrespect and offered him meager publicity or marketing money, in a take-it-or-leave-it ploy. Finally there were those who had worked for him from the beginning, but now, smelling money from his success, began to make unreasonable demands.
Certain things mattered to him more than anything else—maintaining his long-term mobility, working with those who were excited and not mercenary, controlling his image and not muddying it for the sake of quick money. What this translated into was simple: he would exercise his power to walk away from any situation or person that compromised these values. He would tell the company trying to renegotiate terms that he was no longer interested in working with them. With the record label, he would ignore the ploy and pour his own money into the marketing of his album, with the idea of leaving them soon and striking out on his own. He would cut loose the former friends, without a second thought.
In his experience, whenever he felt as if he had too much to lose and he held on to others or to deals out of fear of the alternative, he ended up losing a lot more. He realized that the key in life is to always be willing to walk away. He was often surprised that in doing so, or even feeling that way, people would come back to him on his terms, now fearing what they might lose in the process. And if they didn’t return, then good riddance.
If he had thought about it at the time, he would have realized that turning his back in this way was an attitude and philosophy that had crystallized in his mind that afternoon of the shooting, when death had brushed against him. Clinging to people or situations out of fear is like desperately holding on to life on even the worst terms,
and he had now moved far beyond such a point. He was not afraid of death, so how could he be afraid of anything anymore?
The Fearless Approach
PEOPLE TALK ABOUT MY GETTING SHOT LIKE IT REPRESENTED SOMETHING SPECIAL. THEY ACT LIKE THEY’RE NOT FACING THE SAME THING. BUT SOME DAY EVERYBODY HAS TO FACE A BULLET WITH HIS OR HER NAME ON IT.
—50 Cent
With the language skills that our primitive ancestors developed, we humans became rational creatures, gaining the ability to look into the future and dominate the environment. But with this good came a bad that has caused us endless suffering—unlike any other animal, we are conscious of our mortality. This is the source of all our fears. This consciousness of death is nothing more than a thought of the future that awaits us, but this thought is associated with intense pain and separation. It comes with an attendant thought that occasionally haunts us—what good is it to work so hard, defer immediate pleasures, and accumulate money and power, if one day, perhaps tomorrow, we die? Death seems to cancel out all our efforts and make things meaningless.