by A. J. Downey
“You eat, you rest, and I take you in to Michael.” Again with that laconic shrug of his.
“Really? You seriously just saved us to hand us over to the dude that wants to kill me? Just like that?”
Gabriel rolled his eyes to the ceiling and muttered, “Give me strength,” in what looked suspiciously like a prayer. I didn’t know Angels prayed. Truthfully it was kind of weird.
“Adelaide,” Tab said patiently, “Michael wished to kill you for Iaoel’s Grace…”
“Yeah, I get it now, I’m sorry. I’m tired.” It was one of those times where I reacted, said it seconds before my brain caught up to what was going on and now I felt like a dumbass. Michael had wanted to kill me to extract Iaoel’s Grace, because she held the location of the keys to the gates of both Heaven and Hell. Except now, we had the keys. Well, Tab had the keys, and as he was the force to be reckoned with when it came to our little duo? I was perfectly okay with him holding on to them.
Technically my part in this was done, except for the fact that Tab and I were a team, and I still had the little problem of harboring a treacherous, possibly fallen, Angel bitch in my body. I was still in this, for all intents and purposes, until that particular detail was sorted out. Plus, I sort of owed Tab whatever help I could give him for keeping me alive and whole all this time.
Iaoel would be helping me whether she liked it or not. She could show me all kinds of things that made me want to scream, cry, and gouge my own eyes out of my head, but I would not be broken. No. Fuck that. This was my body, my brain, and my fucking rules. Bitch could get on board, or I would crush her. I was getting better at managing the visions and had forced her to follow my lead. With more practice, I’d keep improving, too.
Sure, every time I tried to lock her away in a little vault in the back of my mind, she got loose again, but it felt like I was figuring it out. That put me in even more of a near-constant state of mental and emotional exhaustion, but I was trying to be a good soldier and not show it too much. Gabriel and Tab may have figured some of the more external things out, but there would be more, and it was still best in general not to look so helpless. The last thing I needed to do was appear weak in front of any of these fuckers, and I was afraid that if I did, it would look bad on Tab. Bad enough that Tab would be questioning if I could handle her.
No one needed to know I had my moments of niggling doubt – doubt that I could, and would be able to hold on to my mind and body. Sometimes I really thought I was about to lose it, but whenever I felt a surge of triumph out of Iaoel, or saw images of victory, Tab had been there, and I’d found it in myself to pull myself up by the bootstraps. Anytime I felt rundown, to the point that I couldn’t do it for me, let alone humanity… I would look at Tab and somehow find a way. Cheesy? Sure. But whatever got me through the next fucking hour, let alone the next fucking day lately.
“Adelaide, you need to eat,” Tab said gently, and I snapped back out of my thoughts to realize I’d been staring at my food, brooding.
“She tearing it up in there?” Gabriel asked.
I looked up at him, brow crushing down. “None of your business,” I told him levelly.
“Maybe not, Babycakes, but if she is…”
“I can handle it,” I snapped, and he put up his hands and sighed.
We finished the meal in silence. I didn’t like this. I didn’t like not knowing what was going to happen. I didn’t like that Tab and I were squarely the monkey in the middle with nowhere to turn to. We looked at each other, and all I saw on his face was resignation, which I am sure he saw clearly reflected back at him from my own. This sucked. This sucked hard.
“Ready then?” Gabriel asked, standing.
“For what?” I asked dully.
“To get some sleep, Cupcake.”
“Do we really need to draw this out any further?” I asked, gaze locked steady with Tab’s.
“I would prefer to draw it out as long as possible,” he said softly.
I nodded and pushed to my feet. “Fair enough, or as Piorre would have said it, ‘fair point, well made.’” I’d always liked that expression of his. I hefted my pack and felt bone-tired but, thankfully, full.
The colors swallowed the three of us, and we were in another baroque room. This time though, it was a bedroom, and where the dining room had been light and airy, this room had been done in crimsons and dark woods. I closed my eyes and breathed in through my nose slowly, and out through my mouth. I didn’t throw up the fancy dinner I had just put down, so victory there.
“Bathroom’s through there,” he pointed.
“I’m good.”
“Right, back in the morning then, room across the hall for you, Tabby Cat.”
“Where are we?” I asked.
“Back in Seattle.”
“The frat house?” I asked, frowning.
“Yeah, it’s warded, don’t think about trying to go anywhere. You’re caught. In fact, I wouldn’t try to leave the room if I were you. Might more than sting.”
I nodded my understanding, defeat and resentment taking root in the center of my chest and growing like wild.
“Thank you, Gabriel,” Tab nodded, and Gabriel just disappeared. Poof! Gone.
I sat down on the edge of the bed and sighed out. At least we weren’t running anymore. The end of the line was bittersweet.
“You should sleep.”
I nodded. “Guess I can do it without my boots on for once.”
“You should shower, try to relax.”
“Yeah, well, good luck with that last part. Going across the hall?” I asked. I was nervous about being all alone.
“Would you like me to wait until you’re settled?”
I opened my mouth to say ‘nah,’ and that I was good, but that isn’t what came out. “Yeah,” I said unhappily and felt weak for it. Tab nodded and went to one of the bookshelves along one wall, trailing his finger along the spines. I hefted the pack and went into the bathroom, trying to keep the shower short so he didn’t have to stand out there babysitting my sorry ass for too long.
I couldn’t help it. I stayed under the hot shower spray for like a half an hour. I justified it by telling myself that it might be my last, and if it was going to be, I might as well enjoy it right? Tomorrow, might after all, be the End of the World, whatever side managed to take the keys from us.
Tab was seated in a wing back chair in front of the fireplace, flipping pages in whatever he’d chosen off the shelf. He glanced up at me. I rubbed the towel over my hair a final time and hung it over the bar by the inside of the bathroom door.
I wore a pair of comfortable workout leggings that ended mid-calf and an oversized baseball style shirt that declared normal to be boring. Tab cracked a smile.
“Where did you find that?” he asked.
“Wally World in Elko, seemed appropriately inappropriate, and you know I’m all about that.”
I hopped up into the bed and settled the blankets across my lap. Tab stood and stretched.
“Indeed,” he agreed with a rueful little smile.
I didn’t want him to go. It was like a sharp ache in the center of my chest. I was afraid. Like a child terrified to be left in the dark. It was like Tab had become my talisman, my teddy bear that kept the monsters away.
“What is it?” he asked.
I bit my lips together, reluctant to speak, reluctant to admit my weakness out loud. My eyes misted with tears, and I gave Tab a half smile and lied by telling him the truth. I mean, it was pretty likely I was going to die the next day so it was now or never right?
“I uh, just wanted to say thank you. For everything. I appreciate you giving me the right to choose, for keeping me as free as possible through all of this. I appreciate that, I appreciate you, more than I can say. I’m so sorry it’s turned out this way.”
His posture eased, and he set down his book on the little round table by the chair. He nodded carefully.
“I’ll let you sleep,” he said, and it was as if he were a little shaken, but tha
t couldn’t be right. Tab was an ever-loving badass, and there hadn’t been any point I could remember thus far where he had been anything but cool, collected, and solid.
“Okay,” I agreed, reluctantly. He came over and lifted the blankets, and I scooted down, laying my head on the fluffy pillows.
“Rest well, Adelaide,” he said and tucked the blankets under my chin. I lay on my side and fought down the rising tide of anxiety.
“Thanks, you too,” I forced out around the lump in my throat. I really didn’t want him to leave.
He got as far as the door, before the first couple of tears sneaked out of my eyes, and I couldn’t do it.
“Hey, Tab?” I asked before he could twist the handle.
“Yes?”
“Think I could…” God, this was selfish, but I was going to do it anyway. I cleared my throat. “Think you could maybe stay? Just until I fall asleep?”
His brow furrowed. “Do you feel a vision coming on?”
“No. She’s been really quiet, actually, I just… I just really don’t want to be alone,” I admitted and felt totally lame. Tab’s hand fell from the door handle, and he looked at the ceiling for a long moment. “Sorry, never mind, it’s stupid, and I’ll…”
“No. It’s not stupid. Being a prisoner of the people who wanted to kill you yesterday can’t be comfortable.” He came over and made a shooing motion with his hands. I moved over, and he sat on top of the covers, then drew his sword, laying it over his lap with one hand on the hilt. It wasn’t necessary, maybe, but it felt better to have him not just there, but showing he was standing, well, sitting guard. Or maybe it was necessary. Who knew what someone might do to get rid of me, if he weren’t there like the stone carving of some old fashioned knight on the top of a tomb?
God, my thoughts are on a seriously morbid bent.
“Sleep, Adelaide. I’ll stay,” he said, interrupting my rapid cycling mind.
“Okay… thanks,” I said quietly and closed my eyes. I was more tired than I thought, because I was out like a traffic light inside two seconds, comforted by the Angel of Free Will’s presence and protection.
***
“Well this is a surprise,” Gabriel said dryly from the foot of the bed. My eyes snapped open and I pushed off from the mattress sitting up abruptly. Tab was sitting up too, but he was sliding his sword back home, down the sheath that lay along the line of his spine.
“The fuck over?” I grumbled.
“Breakfast.” Gabriel held up a tray with some toast, coffee, and juice on it. I frowned. He came around and set it in my lap before I could open my mouth to protest. I frowned.
“Did I seriously just get served breakfast in bed by one of the Archangels?” I asked.
“Not only one of the Archangels, Babycakes, but the coolest one,” Gabriel smiled at me.
“He’s flirting with you,” Tab said and glowered at his friend.
Gabriel shrugged and addressed me. “You’re hot. If you were ugly, I still might have done it, but I would have to put a bag over your head if we ever fucked. Personality goes a long way with me, Cupcake.”
I nearly choked on my orange juice trying not to laugh. Gabriel winked at me, and I frowned a little at him. I felt like I was missing the real joke, but Tab interrupted our banter.
“When do we meet with Michael?”
“You going to give him the keys?” Gabriel asked me, and Tab gave him a flat look.
“Adelaide has not changed her mind.”
“Right,” Gabriel said a little ruefully. “That’s going to seriously piss him off… this is gonna be great. Okay.” He directed his attention back to me. “Hurry it up, Cupcake. You got twenty minutes.”
“Awesome,” I grumbled and finished my toast and juice. Fuck the coffee: my nerves were jangling hard enough as it was.
I took my ass back to the bathroom and dressed with some serious practicality in mind: jeans over boots, and over the jeans, my knife rig and my sturdy belt. I put on my most comfortable bra and slid the black moisture-wicking sleeveless top over my head. I slung my messenger bag across my chest and cinched the strap so it rode against my left hip, opposite the knife. Fishing Hadad’s amulet out to ride over it all, I shrugged into my heavy-duty leather biker jacket and tugged it in the front. Piorre’s rosary wound around my right wrist, a comfort and one of the last things I had to remember him by.
I went through the messenger bag one last time. Mei-Lei’s gifted shirt, Piorre’s journal, my iPod, which was deader than a doornail for the time being, and its charging cable. A couple of pens and a few other odds and ends. I snatched a hair tie out of those and dug for my brush out of the pack.
My wallet was in my jacket pocket, for all the good it would do me. After sweeping my hair into a tight braid over my left shoulder, I knelt and went through the backpack again. I moved the palm sized but powerful tactical LED flashlight into the messenger bag along with another knife, a small first aid kit half the size of a child’s lunchbox and a couple of Bic lighters. Some clean underwear, socks, and an extra of the thin, microfiber shirts, and I was pretty much at capacity for carrying comfortably. I still added a couple of Power Bars from the bottom of the pack. The last thing that went in was a metal flask, the kind you put whiskey in, except I had water in it.
Survival 101 according to Tab, always have water and always have fire. Bonus points if you had a container for water that was metal along with the fire because it provided you something you could boil unclean water in to make it drinkable. We hadn’t been able to find a metal canteen but I’d snatched the flask when we’d passed the liquor section. Tab had nodded and said it would be a bitch with how small it was, but it was better than nothing until we could get something better. We’d just never had a chance, or come across the something better.
I closed my eyes, God, I thought, pointedly directing my prayer. Please let there be a chance for the both of us to get something better.
“Amen,” I uttered and opened my eyes to meet a sympathetic blue pair in the bathroom mirror behind me.
“He’s not completely unreasonable, you know. Mikey’s a hard ass and can be a big dumbass sometimes, but he’s not all bad.”
“I haven’t seen much to the contrary,” I said.
“You’ve only met him a couple of times and – ”
“Sodom and Gomorrah,” I cut him off. “I saw the whole thing through your eyes.”
“Ah… yeah… that sucked.” He smiled broadly. “Did you see the plague of fire raining from the sky though? That was some of my best work…” I pushed past Gabriel, smacking him lightly in the chest as I went out into the bedroom leaving the pack behind. I didn’t think I would be needing it, and there wasn’t really anything left in it but clothes that would slow me down.
“That was pretty cool right?” Gabriel called at my back, trying, I was sure, to lighten me up, but I stopped cold. I wasn’t listening to him, the screams of burning men, women, and children echoing in my ears from that horrible, horrible memory. Tab took me in and nodded, satisfied. My eyes clung to his familiar, modern look, and it helped to beat back the awful surging and roiling around in my head.
“You ready?” I asked, balling my fists into my jacket pockets to hide their fine trembling.
“I am,” he agreed.
I nodded and mentally pulled up my big girl panties, prodding Iaoel. I felt her stir, and I thought at her, Bitch you better be on your game, because if I die, you’re up for grabs again. Out loud I said, “Let’s do this.”
“Well, she’s no fun today,” Gabriel muttered, and the world disappeared into a swirl of colors and lights only to disappear into gray, water-stained concrete walls and the dank smell of earth, mold, and disuse.
I went to stand near Tab and kept my hand on my knife, unsnapping the holder around the hilt. Tab brought out his wings and folded them against his back. I turned back to where Gabriel had stood in jeans and a faded black band tee a minute before and blinked. He was in full shiny metal armor, a vision o
f strength and honor.
“You know, you look bitchin’,” I said. “You could almost pull off regal, but you got one thing stopping you.”
Gabriel’s grin got wider. “Oh, and what’s that?” he asked.
“Your shit-eating grin ruins the whole effect.”
Gabriel threw back his head and laughed, the sound rich and vibrant and lifting towards the ceiling which was so vast and so high up you couldn’t see it. It echoed something fierce in here, wherever here was.
“Where the fuck are we, anyways?” I asked, more to fill the void and ringing silence left behind when Gabriel terminated his laugh.
“Chernobyl,” he answered.
“The fuck? Are you serious?” I cried, outraged. Tab’s hand fell on my shoulder, but I had my eyes locked on Gabriel, whose grin turned wolfish.
“Relax, Cupcake. You ever know the person holding Iaoel’s Grace before you to be sick?”
I blinked and really thought about it. Come to think of it, I never had. Not so much as a case of the sniffles.
“No…”
“Reason for that, you aren’t exactly human anymore. Angels aren’t affected by pesky things like radiation sickness.” Tab’s hand fell from my shoulder, and I felt both hot and cold at the same time. It was still creepy as fuck knowing we were in the middle of a radiation dead zone.
“We close to the reactor?” I asked.
“As close as you can get. No humans in this part of the zone for miles and miles,” he said.
“Why? Why bring us here?”
“For Tabby’s sake, and yours too. Didn’t think you guys would like the collateral damage. I’m not that big of a dick.”
“Collateral damage?” I echoed.
“He believes you won’t hand over the keys, Child. And we’re certain we’ve been watched. A night of rest is one thing, but Hell’s forces aren’t going to give up on the keys easily.”
My attention snapped towards the voice in the dark, past Gabriel’s shoulder. A form materialized, stepping out of the dark, bronze armor gleaming softly, at which point I started looking for the source of light. Finding none, really.
“Don’t hurt yourself. We’re doing it for your benefit,” Gabriel explained.