by Anne Oliver
Near enough, Luke thought. ‘This letter here—’ he waved it in the air ‘—is from Melanie. She wrote it five years ago. It was in a bundle of mail you neglected to forward.’
His father adjusted his chair to its upright position, folded his newspaper, removed his glasses. ‘I’m sorry, Luke. Was it something important?’
Tension snapped in Luke’s jaw. ‘I’d say so. She claims she tried getting in touch with me. I was wondering…did she ever phone here?’
Something flickered behind his old man’s eyes. He pursed his lips, folded a hand over the other under his chin and looked out at the dripping garden beyond. Then he looked at Luke. ‘Yes. She did.’
Luke’s gut tightened as everything inside him shifted. ‘You gave her the relevant address, then?’ He managed—barely—to keep his voice civil. ‘My phone number, my email address? You told her where I was?’
‘I didn’t want some itty-bitty waitress taking your attention away from your work—you were just starting to see success. I know she’s made something of herself now, she might even be—’
‘You didn’t think to ask me what I thought?’ Luke took a dangerous step closer. Dangerous because he didn’t know if he could control the anger threatening to explode from his chest. He curled his fists against his sides. ‘You didn’t even want me taking up engineering geology. You wanted me here, to follow in your shadow.’
His father frowned. ‘No, that’s not true… I—’
‘Do you know what you’ve done?’ He crushed the paper and threw it on the floor in front of his father.
‘You turned her away when she was pregnant.’
His father paled, but, stubborn as ever, predictable as ever, he said, ‘Are you telling me she tried to trap you with that old line?’
‘I’m telling you she had a miscarriage. A miscarriage that may have been prevented if I’d been there for her.’ He drew a deep shuddering breath. ‘I understand you may have overlooked the letter—you couldn’t have known it was from her. But you cast her off like she was nobody.
‘She was somebody, Dad. Somebody I cared about. Somebody I still care about. She was in trouble and she was pregnant. I got her that way, it was my responsibility.’
‘Son, I—’
‘Understand this, Dad.’ He heard his own voice—dead calm, dead serious. ‘Your actions may have cost you your only chance to be a grandfather.’ He slammed an open palm on the door jamb on his way out.
* * *
Seeing Luke on her doorstep when he’d walked out only a couple of hours ago was a shock Melanie didn’t need. Not when she was about to play auntie for the first time. She needed smooth and calm; no stress, and she wouldn’t get it with Luke standing in her line of vision, saying, ‘Melanie’ in that ‘we-need-to-talk’ voice.
She didn’t want to hear any more of that voice, which only last night had murmured he was going to kiss her all over. She didn’t want to look at the gorgeous mouth that had done the job so thoroughly.
‘I’m on my way to see Carissa and the baby,’ she said. And since Carissa didn’t deserve a red-eyed sister on her first day as a mum, she picked up her keys.
He wasn’t deterred. ‘What I have to say won’t take long. I intend dropping past the hospital and seeing Carissa myself in a while.’
She didn’t want to try to interpret his expression or why he seemed so anxious to talk. ‘I want to see my sister on my own.’ A bunch of other emotions she’d spent the past couple of hours trying to subdue were springing up again like grass fires. ‘And the afternoon’s slipping away…’
‘Okay,’ he said, stepping inside and closing the front door behind him. ‘But first you will listen to what I have to say.’
He stood close enough for her to feel the heat from his body and smell the soap he liked to use. She had to force herself to look at him. Not the cold eyes from earlier, but intense emotions still lurked in the toffee-coloured irises.
‘I asked you if you ever rang my parents, Melanie, and you said no.’
Her fingers tightened around the keys in her hand. Ah. This was about good old Dad. ‘That’s not true,’ she said. She couldn’t quite look him in the eye so opted for his chin. ‘You didn’t ask me that question, not in those words. You suggested I could’ve contacted them by phone.’
‘To which you conveniently didn’t reply.’ Clearly agitated, he shifted his stance. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ he demanded, his voice harsh with frustration.
‘I didn’t see the point since it doesn’t make a difference now.’
Muscles clenched in his tight jaw. ‘The hell it doesn’t.’
‘You were trying to reconnect with your parents. I didn’t want to interfere with that. And it was a long time ago, we weren’t serious…’
‘Yeah, I know. Single and loving it—your words, not mine.’ He shook his head. ‘You just don’t get it, do you? I don’t want temporary any more. I want a family.’
Mel’s heart swelled; she tried to squelch it. ‘I want that too,’ she whispered. And saw Luke’s eyes widen, darken with a new awareness, then watched him mentally step back.
‘I also want someone who can be honest with me at all times. Someone who won’t keep secrets no matter how hard it is. You held back important information, first our pregnancy—yes, ours, Mel, make no mistake about that—then Dad’s phone call.’ He inhaled deeply through clenched teeth, then all the tension seemed to drain out of him, as if he’d lost some sort of battle. ‘We’re too different, Melanie.’
Leaning against the wall for support, she listened as his car purred into life and waited till the sound faded into the background traffic.
Before she could give in to the tears dammed behind her eyes, she opened the door and walked out into the rain. She walked for an hour, letting the moisture and cold soak into the pores of her face and chill her hands.
As she re-entered the apartment an echo of Luke’s presence still lingered, his subtle scent, the imprint of his mouth on hers, the deep timbre of his voice as he said those final words.
And he was right—they were too different. In so many ways. She loved him, but it wasn’t enough. Not for Luke.
As her gaze swept the last place he’d stood when he’d told her, something on the floor caught her attention. It must have fallen out of Luke’s jacket. She picked up the neatly folded paper.
A ‘To Do’ list.
Confirm: August 5th 6 o’clock
Organise tux.
Ring Eleanor
Arrange pick-up
Her keys slipped from her fingers as her blood drained to her boots. She’d thought her heart had broken, but this betrayal shattered her very soul.
In ten days’ time he was attending a black-tie function with that old girlfriend with the fancy surname, and, if she wasn’t mistaken, hiring a limo to pick her up.
On August 5th. Melanie’s birthday.
Her fingers tightened on the damning evidence, her teeth ached as her jaw tightened, and anger—good, hard, cleansing anger-rose like a red wave.
And he’d talked about honesty.
She swiped her keys from the floor, grabbed her bag, crushed the paper inside and stalked to the door. She’d show him honesty! After she’d seen Carissa she was going to pay him a visit.
* * *
Carissa was sitting up in bed cuddling a sleeping young Robert when Melanie arrived. Ben watched over them protectively, last night’s grin still firmly in place. A bright bunch of helium balloons was tied to the hospital crib beside the bed.
‘Hi!’ Melanie’s heart squeezed tight at the beautiful image of family. ‘You’re looking a darnn sight better than you did last night,’ she said, bending down to give her sister a kiss. ‘Don’t leave it that late next time, you hear?’ She dropped a kiss on Ben’s cheek.
‘Next time?’ Carissa laughed softly.
‘I was a nervous wreck and Luke…’ Just saying his name filled her with a bitter-sweet longing. She had to fight to keep her smile in place.
Ben chuckled. ‘Yeah, he looked a bit green when we left.’
‘So did you, from what I remember, Daddy,’ Carissa said, smiling down at her son. ‘Isn’t he beautiful?’
‘Can I take a closer peek?’ Melanie carefully loosened the flannelette rug and gazed at the tiny life. He looked back at her with unfocused eyes. A fist shot up then straight into his mouth and he began sucking noisily.
Melanie’s own nipples tingled and the pull tugged at her womb. Tears welled in her eyes. ‘He looks like Ben.’
His male ego stroked, Ben straightened and grinned. ‘That’s what Carissa said.’
‘Honey, would you go get me…anything from the canteen?’ Carissa asked sweetly. ‘And take your time.’
Ben stood with a put-upon sigh. ‘Okay, I know when I’m not wanted.’
As if she’d had a dozen children already Carissa gently removed the tiny fist and replaced it with the knuckle of her index finger. The moment Ben was out of earshot she wasted no time. ‘Speaking of Luke…’
‘Which we weren’t,’ Melanie pointed out, instantly feeling nauseous.
‘He stopped by a few moments ago with the balloons. You just missed him. He seemed to be in a hurry.’ Her gaze probed Melanie. ‘He looked terrible.’
She didn’t want to dump on Carissa today of all days but Carissa was relentless. She was also the only family Melanie had, and her best friend. ‘It’s over between us,’ she said. ‘And this time it’s really over.’
Carissa frowned. ‘Did he say that?’
‘He didn’t have to.’ Melanie thought of the note in her bag. It kick-started her into action. ‘I’ve got to be somewhere, sis.’ She kissed baby Robert and Carissa. ‘I’ll see you again real soon.’
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
MELANIE pulled up outside Luke’s apartment. Again that sense of not belonging surged through her. And yet…his mother had come from humble beginnings.
Forget it. She reached for her bag, pulled out the note, read it again to remind her why she should ‘forget it’ before stuffing it in the pocket of her jeans.
Her skin prickled as she stepped out of the car, slammed the door, glared up at the apartment. Was he watching her from behind his sparkling panoramic windows?
But as she climbed the steps she realised it was his neighbour, Mrs Perfect, eyeing her from her balcony next door.
‘Hello, can I help you?’ she called.
Nosy woman. Melanie kept walking. ‘No, thanks.’
‘Luke’s not home.’
Melanie frowned, pausing between steps. Did she keep an eye on his every move?
‘He left around an hour ago,’ the woman continued when Melanie didn’t answer. ‘I was out walking Poochie when the cab came and I heard him say he was going to the airport. So naturally I told him I’d keep an eye on the place for him.’
‘Oh.’ Melanie’s anger fizzed and sputtered, doused by something closer to fear, and the colder knowledge that he’d probably left the country. ‘Thanks,’ she murmured, doing an about turn and retracing her steps.
Was his hasty departure an extreme reaction to the day’s events that only the wealthy could afford to indulge in or had he planned to leave all along? No. He hadn’t planned it, she was sure.
Except…he hadn’t mentioned going to a function with Eleanor either.
Of course he wouldn’t, just like those other times early on in their relationship when he’d gone to events without telling her. Their relationship wasn’t that important to him; she wasn’t that important to him.
Shock was sending debilitating shivers through her as she slid into her car and turned on the ignition with shaking fingers. They’d been lovers less than twelve hours ago. The closest they’d ever been. And not just lovers, they’d shared their thoughts and hearts as well as their bodies.
When she arrived home she saw the answering machine blinking. She pressed the button, her fingers clenching the phone when she heard Luke’s voice.
‘Mel, it’s me.’ Pause. ‘Guess you’re with Carissa.’ Another pause as if he was composing what he wanted to say. ‘Just letting you know I’m—’
She stared at the phone in her hand, then hurled it onto the couch. She’d forgotten to rewind the damn tape and missed the end of his message. But she already knew what he’d have said, she didn’t need to hear it again.
Goodbye.
* * *
Melanie sat beside Adam as he drove south-west out of Sydney. Even if it was only five a.m., at least someone was prepared to lift her spirits and give her a happy birthday. The clear, cold morning sky was still dark and studded with stars, framing an old gibbous moon still high in the sky.
Adam had refused to talk about his surprise. He’d turned out to be more than a flatmate; he’d become a good friend. So he left his smelly socks on the couch, the toilet seat up. His wet towel in a pile on the side of the bath. He wasn’t just a friend, he was an all-round good guy.
He was also a friend of Luke’s.
The band around her chest tightened. She’d have to find new accommodation. Running into Luke wasn’t an option if she wanted to start a new life. She’d heard Adam talking to him on the phone yesterday. From the gist of the conversation apparently Luke was back in town.
Which meant tonight he was going to rub shoulders with the rich and famous and the glamorous woman he’d been linked with five years ago. He might even rub more than shoulders with her.
For all she cared.
But she hunched into the vinyl seat, her nails digging moon shapes in her palms as images of Luke’s body rubbing up against the blonde played out before her eyes.
She turned her mind to concentrating on the changing scenery as they reached the outskirts of the city. In the predawn not far from Burragorang State Conservation Area, she realised Adam was taking her hot air ballooning, something she’d always told him was on her list of things she wanted to do.
As soon as they arrived at the local airport Melanie was out of the car before Adam had even shut off the engine. Adrenaline pumped through her veins. ‘Adam,’ she breathed, cupping her hands around her mouth for warmth. ‘You sure know how to make a girl’s birthday.’
‘It’s a bit chilly.’ Adam leaned into the back seat and held out a coat.
But not just any coat, she realised as soon as she took it. Caressed it. A three-quarter length white suede dream, soft as a marshmallow, with fur-trimmed hood.
Her eyes narrowed with suspicion. ‘What the heck is this? You can’t afford anything like this, and even if you could, I wouldn’t take it.’ They weren’t that close.
He shrugged, sighed. ‘I borrowed it. Don’t ask questions, okay?’
‘But it’s new…’ She squinted in the dimness. ‘It’s still got the price…’
But Adam jerked the tag off with a scowl and stuffed it in his pocket before she got a proper look. ‘Just wear the damn thing, will you?’ he grumbled, shaking it out for her to put on. ‘It’s bloody cold up there.’
She lifted its smooth texture to her face, breathed in its expensive new scent. ‘As long as it’s not stolen property, I guess I can be persuaded.’ She glanced sideways at him as she shrugged it on. ‘It’s not, is it?’
‘No. Dammit. Come on.’
‘You’re in a fine mood for someone who claims to want to…wait a minute…’ Her breath caught in her throat. ‘This doesn’t have anything to do with Luke… does it?’
‘Yes, of course it does,’ he groused. ‘Didn’t you two call it quits?’
Her stomach cramped. ‘Can’t you let me forget?’
‘That’s why we’re here, isn’t it? You’re the one who brought the topic up.’ He stopped, turned to her. ‘Want to know what I think?’ Catching her shoulders, he looked into her eyes long and hard till she squirmed. ‘I think you’re in love with him.’
‘Huh!’ Jerking away, she marched on towards the terminal, feeling the first sting of tears, determined not to let them fall. ‘I didn’t ask what you think.
It’s my birthday, let’s just have a good time, shall we?’
Melanie listened with only half an ear as the group was briefed on the morning flight, but, despite her best intentions, her mind kept wandering back to Luke and this evening’s function.
They were conveyed to the scheduled meeting point and her mind was temporarily distracted when she saw the first of the huge balloons being readied for flight, the whoosh and flare of burning propane gas, the balloon taking shape as it filled with air.
It took twenty minutes to inflate the two balloons, with some of the passengers helping, a magnificent sight in the predawn—a blue one with red and yellow squares, the other a glorious orange and green.
Crimson streaked the sky as the last stars faded and the balloon swayed slightly, ready to fly.
‘That one’s ours,’ Adam said, grabbing her hand and heading towards the blue one.
‘Good morning. I’m Jacob, your pilot for the next hour or so.’ The tanned man with a sparkle in his eyes grinned as he helped Melanie aboard.
‘Good morning.’ Inside the wicker basket Melanie could see the bundles of cables, a two-way radio. The warmth and smell of the roaring burners.
‘Ready for our aerial adventure?’ he said, checking his equipment.
‘You bet,’ she shouted over the noise.
He grinned again—as if he was privy to some private joke—and said, ‘Then you’re in for the ride of your life.’
Better than the roller-coaster she and Luke— No. She wasn’t going to spoil it. She turned her attention to the pilot. ‘So, how does this thing work?’
Preoccupied, she hadn’t noticed the other passengers had all headed to the other balloon until she turned to Adam behind her.
Except he wasn’t behind her.
He was standing on the grass a few metres away with the glint of dawn’s light in his eyes and a smile on his lips. He lifted his hand in salute. ‘This is where I say good-bye…’