It was a new day and she must be courageous. She would tell the children after lunch. Later, after they had cried, her father and Julius would be there, filling in as they always had in Miller’s absence. It was time to somehow make a new life for herself, one where she was no longer Mrs. Dreeser, but Caroline Bennett, the girl who cried for orphans. Everything she’d built her life around had been ripped away and she must start anew. Despite Miller’s absences, her family had been a source of pride. At Christmas when they were all gathered around the table, her heart had been full. Her beautiful children, kind and smart, and her handsome husband had been a symbol that she’d made the right choices. Her charity work had given her further purpose, always trying to live up to the vow she’d made to God all those years ago.
The emotional anguish still made it hard to move, like nerve-endings were exposed. She had no idea when it would get easier, but surely it would eventually. One moment at a time. She went out to the porch with her cup of tea. Fog hovered over the water, but she would go on her walk early, to be back in time for her father to take her into the city to file the necessary paperwork at the courthouse. She placed her hand on her still-flat stomach. There was another baby coming. Miller’s baby. She or he would most likely never know their father. Perhaps it would be better. He could not break his or her heart like he had the other children if they never knew him in the first place.
A half hour later, Caroline walked at her usual fast pace, her shoes damp with dew. It was good to breathe heavily, to feel her lungs expanding with physical exertion. She came to the bench; the walking stick she’d found for Audrey was next to it. After her conversation with Julius, she had forgotten to take it to Audrey. She picked up the stick, leaning on it for a moment, before gripping it and continuing forth. Several miles later, at the point, she stopped, standing on the side of the cliff as the fog dissipated and mixed with light until the sky seem ethereal. She shivered, leaning on her stick companion, and pulled her sweater tighter. The sound of a twig snapping caused her to turn around. A young man, dressed in a long, black overcoat, stood about twenty feet behind her. Her stomach dropped. Pinpricks of fear shot through her body. His black hat was pulled low on his forehead. She could not make out his eyes, but his mouth had a scar that started at a spot below his nose and extended over his lips, stopping at his chin. In her heightened state, everything became immediately clear. He was here to kill her. Miller had hired him. She was certain of it. Behind her, the cliff provided the perfect opportunity to kill her and make it seem like an accident. One push and she would fall to a certain death, her body mangled on the rocks. Audrey’s sweet face came to her. And the boys, fragile still. Her children needed her. She could not die.
CHAPTER NINE
Henry
PHIL SAT IN THE PASSENGER SEAT, clutching her purse, as Henry roared down the highway. The children, dressed in their pajamas, were snuggled together like two sardines in the back, fast asleep.
“How long until we get there?” asked Phil.
“Another fifteen minutes.”
“I can’t go in there with you,” she said. “You have to it.”
“I understand. It’s no problem,” said Henry.
“Can you drive any faster?”
“Not without endangering the lives of everyone in this car.”
Ten minutes later, they drove down the Bennetts’ driveway. Henry parked the car and sprinted to the front door. A woman dressed in a maid uniform answered the door. “Is Mrs. Dreeser home?” he asked.
The maid looked at her watch. “She left for her walk about a half hour ago. Went early this morning.”
“Is her father or mother available?”
“They’re still asleep,” she said.
A voice from behind the woman said, “Margaret, can I help?” It belonged to a teenaged boy.
Margaret stepped aside and the young man opened the door wider. “I’m Seb. Are you a friend of my mother’s?” He snapped his fingers. “Wait, I know you. Henry Sayer, right? You were on the USS Corry.”
“I’m amazed you remember me, but yes, I’m Henry. I have something rather urgent I need to discuss with your mother or one of your grandparents.”
A man appeared behind Seb. It was Doctor Nelson.
The doctor’s eyes widened, then his face lit up with a smile as he held out his hand. “Henry Sayer, what in world are you doing here?”
Henry blinked, surprised, but he couldn’t waste time with pleasantries. “Doc, I think Caroline’s in trouble. I’m afraid she might be in danger on her walk. Would you show me where she usually heads? I’d like to go after her.”
“Why would she be in danger?” asked Julius.
Henry took the latest journal from his jacket pocket and opened it to the passage he wanted them to read. “This is Mr. Dreeser’s journal. In it are some concerning passages where he speaks of hiring someone…” He stopped, unable to say the words in front of the boy. Poor Seb. No one should have to know this about their father.
“What is it?” asked Seb. “Just say it.”
“Passages that make me worried for her safety. I don’t know if or when he was planning it, but it’s supposed to be on her morning walk.” He tapped the paper.
“Seb, let’s go,” said Julius.
The boy was already out the door, tearing down the grass after his mother.
CHAPTER TEN
Caroline
THE MAN RAN TOWARD HER. First instinct told her to run, but she was near the ledge. It wouldn’t take him long to reach her. He could toss her over at any point for a quarter mile and she would be lost to the rocks. She raised her stick, aiming the sharp point forward like a weapon, feeling the strong muscles of her back and arm engage and ran toward him as fast as she could, her strong legs propelling her light frame, holding the stick in front of her. When she was upon him, she let out a primal scream and aimed for his chest, but his hand grasped the stick. Using it for momentum, he shoved her to the ground. They rolled, together, the stick sideways between them. If she let him get her on her back, it was all over. She would not have the strength to get him off her. She did the only thing she could think of. She bit his wrist as hard as she could. He cried out and let go of the stick. She was on her feet in an instant, the man right behind her. She swung, trying to hit him, but he caught the other end.
They battled like they were playing a game of tug-a-war, both hanging on to opposite ends of the stick. A sudden image of the children playing tug-a-war with a rope popped into her mind. One time, Audrey, at a distinct disadvantage because she was so much smaller than Seb, had abruptly let go. Seb had fallen over from the sudden release of energy. She let go of the stick and the man fell backward, onto his bottom, still holding the stick. She kicked high, like a dancer, and her foot made contact. The stick flew from his hands, landing a foot away from him. Before he could get up, his girth a disadvantage now, she snatched the stick from the ground. Using every ounce of her weight, she swung it like a baseball bat for his head. This time she hit him. The smack made an awful sound. He cried out in pain and shock, staring at her with eyes like a caged animal as he touched the side of his head. “You bitch.” He tried to get up but his balance was off, and he stumbled and fell onto his back. Wasting no time, she pounced on him and pinned him to the ground with her foot on his chest. Then, without thinking, pure instinct and adrenaline coursing through her body, she stabbed the stick into the side of his throat. Blood gushed from the wound. Staring up at her with a shocked expression, he opened his mouth to speak, but blood, not words, burbled from his lips.
She continued to stand over him, traumatized into paralysis at what she’d done. In seconds, his face went completely slack. His eyes changed from frantic movement to staring lifelessly up at the sky. She’d killed him. Shaking, she moved her gaze in the direction of shouting. Seb and Julius sprinted toward her.
“Mother, Mother,” said Seb.
She held out her arms and pulled her son close. “It’s all right, darling.
” She looked up at Julius. “The stick. The end you carved was sharp. I jabbed him with it and I think I’ve killed him. He was coming for me. Miller sent him. It had to be Miller.”
Julius knelt over the man, feeling for a pulse at his neck. “Yes, he’s dead.” He stood.
“How did you know to come?” she asked.
“Henry and the girl came to the house as I was walking over this morning to check on you all,” said Julius.
Seb extricated himself from his mother’s arms. “He had Father’s journal with him.”
“It indicated that he’d hired someone to kill you during your walk,” said Julius.
“Push me over the cliff, isn’t that right?” asked Caroline.
“Yes,” said Julius.
“We were too late, though,” said Seb. “You took care of it yourself.”
She reached for Julius. Her legs weakened under her. Sudden cramping in her stomach caused her to double over in pain. “Julius, something’s wrong.”
She crumpled as everything went black.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Henry
HE WAITED IN THE SITTING ROOM with Mrs. Bennett as she looked through the journals. She didn’t speak or make any noise at all. Fifteen minutes passed. He went to the window, watching the waves crash to shore. The phone rang. Mrs. Bennett jumped, then went to answer it. Her hand flew to her mouth as she listened. “Oh my God. Yes, yes, I’ll tell him. I’ll meet you there.”
She hung up the phone. “You were right, Mr. Sayer. A man tried to kill her, but she stabbed him with the sharp end of the walking stick Julius had carved for Audrey. The man’s dead.”
“Dead? Mrs. Dreeser killed him?” he asked.
“I know, it’s a bit unbelievable, given her size, but she’s quite strong. Anyway, right after it happened, Julius and Seb reached her. Julius confirmed the man’s death. Caroline fainted. She’s bleeding. He thinks she’s losing the baby. He carried her to the nearest house, just up the beach. Everyone knows Julius; they allowed him to borrow a car and took her into the hospital in Santa Barbara. I’m going to meet them there. Mr. Sayer, thank you. Thank you for coming here, but I must go.”
“Please give my best to your daughter. I’ll be praying for good news.”
“Thank you.”
He insisted she not walk him to the door. Once outside, he strode to the car, and opened Phil’s door, asking her to get out. He didn’t want the children to hear what he was about to say. He quickly summarized what he knew.
“She’s losing the baby?” Phil’s voice was an octave higher than usual. He knew she was close to panic by the way her entire body shook.
“The doctor believes so.”
“This is all my fault,” she said. “I’ve done this.”
“Miller planning to kill his wife was not your fault,” he said.
“I was complicit. I accepted his offer. What did I think would happen?”
“You didn’t think he would try and murder his wife. I understand your guilt, Phil, and I appreciate your willingness to accept your part in what’s happened. However, almost no one, when faced with the choice between letting their child starve or not, would’ve made a choice other than the one you made.”
They got in the car and Henry started the drive home. No one spoke as they drove north. In the backseat, Teddy had fallen asleep with his head on Mary’s lap. Phil and Mary stared out their respective windows, their hands clasped together on their laps in identical poses. The fog had cleared now, and the sun was hot. He rolled down his window and everyone’s hair blew about in the breeze. As they made the turn off the highway toward Stowaway, his stomach rumbled with hunger. “I’m hungry. How about we stop in town and get some fish and chips?”
Teddy, on cue, never one to miss a meal, popped his head up, like he hadn’t been fast asleep a moment ago. “Me hungry, too.” His hair was wet with perspiration and he had an indentation on the side of his face from Mary’s skirt.
“I’m hungry,” said Phil, absently. “I mean, Teddy, you say ‘I’m hungry’, not ‘me hungry.’”
Mary caught Henry’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “I’m hungry, too.”
“Excellent. Let’s go to Mae’s,” he said, with a false cheer in his voice. “I used to dream about her fish and chips when I was overseas.”
Henry parked a block from the shop and waited until everyone was out of the car. The kids ran ahead, skipping and holding hands. Phil, pales as ashes, seemed unsteady on her feet. He offered his arm. The kids found a table outside under an umbrella. Gazing at their dark heads shining under the sun, he wished life was as simple as it appeared on the outside. They made a perfect picture: a young couple out with their child and what people would assume is their niece for fish and chips, maybe ice cream afterward. He held out Phil’s chair and she sat. He wondered when she’d last eaten. Mae’s teenaged daughter took their order, sticking her pencil in her hair exactly the way her mother usually did. “Our cook called in sick this morning,” she said. “So Mama’s in the kitchen.”
“You give her my best,” said Henry.
“Yes, sir, I will.” She gave him a shy smile. “She tells anyone who’ll listen how you’re a war hero.”
“That’s kind of her,” he said.
The children went to the restroom to clean their hands. Phil lifted her chin toward the sky and closed her eyes. Her face had grown thinner the last few weeks, and she seemed fragile, like her bones might break in half at the slightest touch. He yearned to reach out and run his fingers along her face. When she opened her eyes, her gaze flickered up and down the street. “Do you think I’ll ever be free of him?”
“He’s going to jail,” said Henry.
She shook her head. “No, you’re wrong. He’ll get away with it somehow, especially since the hired killer’s dead. There’s no way to trace it back to Miller.”
“What about the notebooks? It’s all in there.”
“He’d rather die than go to jail. The orphanage was like a jail to him and he will never go back to it. He’ll never leave me alone. I have to hide somewhere. Disappear.” She rushed along, talking faster than he believed possible. “I’m going to take the children and leave this afternoon, go somewhere he can’t find me. I’ve been stashing bits of cash away little by little that he left around the house. I’ve got enough for train tickets. When we get home, I’ll pack what I can fit into the suitcases and head somewhere on the train. Maybe north to Oregon. There are places to disappear there, don’t you think? Places no one’s ever heard of?”
His heart might stop. “No.”
“No?” she asked.
“No, you can’t go. Not without me.”
She stared at him for a moment. He filled with urgency. She must understand. He must get her to agree to his plan. He couldn’t lose her. The children would be back from the bathroom at any moment. He must speak now or he would never have his chance. “I’ll do anything you want. Leave here and disappear with you. We can find a place in Oregon to live. I have money, Phil. We can go wherever it is you’ll feel safe. I’ll take care of you and the children. We can get married.”
“Married?” Her eyes were wide with what looked like horror.
He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. “I’d like to marry you, Phil, and take care of you. You’ll never have to worry about anything or anyone ever again. I’ll be a father to both the children. A good father—the best I can be. That’s what you do to me, Phil. You make me better, braver, full of hope. When I’m with you, I forget all the pain of the past and I forget that I’d decided joy wasn’t something I would ever feel again. But you—you make me joyous.”
“Henry, have you lost your mind?”
“I’ll protect you.” He went on, afraid to let her speak. “I don’t have a ring, obviously, but I could get one quite easily. We could walk up to the jewelers after lunch and get you one. We could get married today if you wanted.”
“My God, no, Henry. Look at who I am. I’ve ruined a family, a woman
’s life. Why would you want me?”
“Is it only me that feels all this.” He tapped his heart. “Please tell me it’s not only me. Can you imagine a life with me?”
“It doesn’t matter what I feel or what I could imagine. I don’t deserve someone like you. I’m damaged goods. And I don’t want you in danger.”
He made a small movement with his head toward his missing arm. “Aren’t we all damaged one way or the other?”
She started to cry. “Do you think no one else would want you? Because of your arm?”
He flushed. Is this what she believed of herself? Of him? Reaching across the table, he tilted her face upward and peered into her eyes. “Hear this. If it were between you and anyone else on this earth, I would always choose you.”
She didn’t speak. Two large tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Whether you feel the same way, the offer remains. I’ll take you somewhere and get you set up and leave you be once I know you and the children are safe.”
She wiped her cheeks. “You’ve been a problem, Henry, from the very first time I ever met you. I felt this immediate closeness to you and being with you makes me feel like a normal person, not Miller’s whore.”
“Do not use that word about yourself again. I mean it.”
“Don’t you know what I would give to live here with you and raise Teddy and Mary, maybe even have another child? It’s all I’ve wanted since the first time I met you. Miller saw it. He saw how my feelings were growing for you and it wasn’t safe. I can’t let anything happen to you. He would have you killed if he even knew about this conversation. There’s no doubt in my mind.”
“After everything I faced overseas, do you think I’m afraid of Miller Dreeser?”
She smiled for the first time. “I know you’re not afraid. But you should be.”
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