Apparently not this. She was fully dressed again, sitting with her knees drawn up and her arms wrapped around them.
‘Do you think it’s over?’
‘The eruption?’
He wasn’t quick enough to avoid direct eye contact this time. The message couldn’t have been plainer. He was an idiot. Of course she was talking about the eruption.
They both knew that what had just happened between them wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.
CHAPTER SIX
MOVING on was the right thing to do.
Jet would have been compelled to do something, in any case, given that the alternative was to stay there in the silence. With Becca.
With the knowledge that he’d opened the most enormous can of worms and he had no idea what he wanted to do about that.
The warning in that look on her face had been redundant. They had so much unfinished business between them, it would probably never be over. They’d made no attempt to discuss any of the issues of the past and now they had complicated it all to the nth degree by … having sex.
Was that all it had been? A wild coupling in the face of unbearable stress? A safety valve that had gone off because of too much pressure?
He was too tired and too shaken to be able to think about any of it. He could see the worms. Impossibly tangled threads. Memories of events and their associated emotions, some of which he’d never dared try to analyse. The sex had been like a giant, emotional can opener and now it was threatening to do his head in completely.
Jet knew how to deal with such an overwhelming threat. He switched it off. Simple. It could all go into the ‘too hard’ basket for now. There would be time enough to debrief at some later, more appropriate time. If Becca would even concede having a conversation that involved the past, of course. What had she said?
Keep your memories to yourself.
The past was a no-go area. Whether they had a future at all was still in the lap of the gods. So the present was it for the moment, and Jet could deal with that.
‘I’ve got a torch in my pack. I’m going to get to the top of the ridge and have a look around. Stay here and I’ll come back for you.’
But Becca shook her head. ‘I’ll come, too.’
Any appreciation of how tough she was had been switched off, as well. Jet was in soldier mode. On a mission.
‘Fine.’
Becca gave a terse nod. ‘Can I use the torch for a minute? I’ll go and see if I can retrieve some of that stuff I dropped when the eruption started.’
He went with her but they could only find the life pack and about half of what the bag had originally contained.
‘We’re wasting time,’ Jet decided. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
There was a strong smell of sulphur in the air so they dampened masks with saline and put them on. Jet sacrificed a crêpe bandage and they wrapped a layer over the masks for extra protection. The sunglasses weren’t going to be enough for their eyes but there wasn’t much he could do about that.
‘I’ll keep some saline in my pocket. We can flush our eyes every so often. It might help.’
‘Getting out of here would help,’ Becca muttered. ‘A lot.’
Once they were moving, it was easier to leave what had just happened between them behind. When they reached the ridge and could see the flames of a campfire that had to have been built by people, it was all but forgotten. They had an achievable goal and it was the destination they had been struggling to get to for far too many hours already.
‘We’ll go slowly,’ Jet said. ‘We should be able to keep away from any lava if it’s got this far.’
There were trickles of fire to be seen well above them, trailing down from the glow that was the centre of the volcano. The air was thick and Jet couldn’t decide whether his pounding headache and the vague fogginess in his head were due to his injury, his exhaustion or toxic fumes.
‘How are you feeling?’ he asked Becca a few minutes later. ‘Physically, I mean,’ he added in a silence that felt awkward.
‘I’ve been better.’ Her voice was muffled by the covering of mask and bandage but, even so, the tone was wry. ‘Don’t worry about me, Jet. I’ll cope.’
She would, too.
Whose game was it now? Jet wondered as he led her downhill for the last time. Whose rules would have to be followed? If he wanted to continue playing at all, that was. It was a moot point. For the foreseeable future, he had no choice.
They reached what remained of the conservation workers’ settlement within a couple of hours.
The small group of people sitting around the fire watched their approach in stunned silence. Becca stared back. She tried to smile but realised it didn’t matter that she couldn’t because her face was hidden anyway. It was completely overwhelming. Seeing these people. Smelling hot food. Knowing that—maybe within hours—a ship would be arriving at this location to rescue them all.
Knowing that survival was a real possibility now. If she hadn’t been so convinced that her world was coming to an end, would she have given in to that passionate desire for Jet? Would it have been unleashed at all?
The time since then had been surreal. She’d been in a strange, trance-like state where she’d still been able to feel exactly what it had been like when Jet had touched her. She could still taste his kisses. Feel him inside her. Hear his breath and the thump of his heartbeat. She could stay in that incredible moment when she’d felt. whole for the first time in her life.
It had kept her going. It had made the difficulties of the downward climb seem insignificant. It had made her forget about the parts of her body that cried out for rest. To begin with, at least, she’d been happy not to break the trance by talking. She’d wanted to keep it untarnished by any cliché or regret. But then the lack of communication had started to bite and the longer it went on, the more it strengthened the notion that, as far as Jet was concerned, it seemed like it had never happened. Had it just been a way to pass the time until they could get moving again? What on earth was he thinking about what had happened? About her?
In those few seconds of standing there, staring at the group of people that represented their return to the real world, Becca was snapped well out of any remnants of that trance. The thought that she and Jet might have to talk about what they’d done was both terrifying and inevitable. How could they not talk about it? But how could they talk about it without talking about everything else from the past?
Maybe the opportunity had already gone, anyway. They weren’t alone any more.
Becca tried to say something in greeting to these people but that failed as much as the smile had. Her throat was too tight. She’d be able to blame the quality of the air for that. Or sheer exhaustion. If tears escaped, she could use the same excuses.
Jet didn’t seem to be anything like as affected as she was, which only added weight to the fear that none of it had meant that much to him.
‘Sorry we’re a bit late, folks.’ He was easing the pack off his back to put it down beside the life pack. ‘Had a bit of a hiccup with the landing.’
‘Oh, my God.’ A woman stood up and came towards them. ‘We knew you were due to arrive when the eruption happened this morning. We were sure there’d been an accident and that … you wouldn’t have survived.’ She was peering at them more closely. Taking in the wound on Jet’s forehead and Becca’s bandaged arm. ‘Are you OK?’
‘A drink of water would be very welcome,’ Jet responded. ‘And then fill me in on what’s needed here.’
Becca saw other people starting to move. Someone was bringing them water bottles.
‘You must be hungry,’ someone else said. ‘We’ve been cooking sausages on the fire. It’s nothing flash but there’s plenty of bread and tomato sauce.’
Jet lowered his bottle and wiped a trickle of water from his chin. ‘Sounds awesome but save me some for later. I’m here for the patients.’
‘Jack’s the worst,’ a young woman said, her voice hitching. ‘He’s … got
a bad head injury. And Roger … his leg looks awful.’
‘Jack’s conscious,’ the first woman put in. ‘But he’s not making much sense and he just wants to sleep.’
‘Where is he?’
‘Over there.’
Becca was beginning to realise why it was only a small group close to the fire. A tent-type shelter was off to one side and she could see people lying on the ground with others crouched over them. More people were over by the shadowy outline of a half-collapsed wooden building and sounds of hammering could be heard.
Jet was also scanning the area. He frowned at the sound of the hammering. ‘You had people trapped, yes?’
‘We got three of them out with only minor injuries, thank goodness. Adam’s still stuck. His leg’s caught badly. A couple of the guys are trying to shore things up to make it stable enough to saw through the beam that he’s caught under.’
Jet’s frown deepened. ‘Do they know what they’re doing?’
‘Bruce is a qualified urban search and rescue technician. He’s in charge.’
Jet nodded, clearly satisfied with the credentials. What would he have done if he wasn’t? Becca wondered. Taken on an extrication task as well as patient management? Quite likely.
‘Is Adam conscious?’
‘Yes. He’s in a lot of pain. We’ve got some pretty heavy-duty painkiller tablets here but they don’t seem to have helped much.’
‘I’ll be able to deal with that.’ Jet had his pack dangling by one hand. ‘Jack and Roger had better be first on the list, though.’ He waved his free hand at the life pack. ‘Can someone bring that, please?’ He was already heading towards the tent.
Becca had had a good drink of water. She shook her head at the sausage wrapped in bread that someone was offering her. It could wait. Picking up the life pack and following Jet might have been a kind of apology for losing most of that bag of extra supplies. Or maybe she simply wanted to be the one who helped him.
There were three people lying under the canvas awning. The area was well lit by kerosene lamps and the patients had blankets both underneath and on top of them. They even had pillows. Only one appeared to be unconscious and that had to be Jack. He had a bloodstained bandage around his head and a woman was sitting beside him, holding his hand.
‘I’m Erica,’ she introduced herself. ‘I’m a nurse.’
‘Excellent.’ Jet unzipped his pack and started opening pockets. ‘You can get me up to speed, Erica. I’m Jet Munroe, by the way. ED doctor and army medic. And this is Becca.’
Becca could see the way Erica drew in a deep breath, smiled and then released the breath in an audible sigh of relief. She nodded at Becca but the respect on her face increased noticeably as her gaze returned to Jet. If anyone could help Jack and the others, he could.
She put down the life pack, feeling a little out of place. Jet was a doctor. He had a nurse to assist him. A young and rather attractive one at that. It had been many years since she had worked as either a nurse or an ambulance officer and her skills as a pilot were hardly going to be helpful here. There wasn’t that much room in the tent so maybe she should go back to the fire and leave them to it. She could have something to eat except, strangely, she didn’t feel at all hungry.
Nobody seemed to notice her taking a step back. And then another, until she found herself in a corner, where she sank down to sit, wrapping her arms around her knees. Exhaustion, and probably very low blood sugar, were making her feel spaced out. Oddly detached. As though she wasn’t actually here at all. She was invisible. Floating above the scene and simply taking it in. She wasn’t consciously watching or thinking about any of it, she was just there. Absorbing what she saw and how it made her feel.
Jet remembered to pull some gloves out from his pack and put them on. She saw him pause and look up as he pulled the second one in place. Looking for her? Because wearing gloves was a kind of personal joke now—a thread of new connection that had contributed to the resurrection of a much older and much stronger one? Or maybe he was just getting his head around where he needed to start work. The glance was brief, anyway, and didn’t take in the direction that included where she was sitting so quietly. If he had thought of her at all, he’d probably assumed she’d done the sensible thing and gone to find some food and rest.
Which was exactly what she should be doing but she wasn’t connected enough to her own body at the moment to make it happen. She watched Jet become the professional medic he was as he turned his attention to the injured people who needed him. The man with the bandaged head. Another with an injured leg. An older man who looked grey but had no obvious injuries to be seen. Jet talked to them. He laid his hands on them to examine their injuries. He pulled out gear and supplies to begin treating them.
He stuck electrodes on the first patient’s chest and Becca could hear him quizzing Erica.
‘How long was he unconscious for to begin with?
‘Does he have any other injuries you’ve noticed?’
He cut away the remains of clothing around another young man’s broken leg. Erica drew up the drugs he requested for pain relief and they talked about needing to straighten the limb. That would have to wait until he’d assessed the final patient here, the older man.
Utterly focussed, he managed to move with speed but it was obvious how thorough he was being. Becca had no idea how much time was passing as she sat there unnoticed. Maybe she even dozed for a while and some of her thoughts and impressions were a dream. About a doctor who was also a soldier. A real-life hero.
If these people were in any danger, Jet was the man to save them. They had known that back at headquarters, of course, and that was why they’d gone to the lengths of having him rushed to the rescue base by private plane.
But if he was so damn brilliant, why hadn’t he saved Matt’s life? Had he had the same abilities and skills as a newly qualified doctor? He must have had some of them. Maybe he just hadn’t bothered using them on his best friend. Her brother.
The old anger was still there, wasn’t it? Simmering not far beneath the surface. It made her feel more awake again and in a way it was almost comforting. Easier to accept than the wildly confusing feelings that had been aroused when Jet had been making love to her.
So Becca found herself nursing that old anger. Watching Jet with her eyes narrowed now, feeling even more detached from what was happening around her.
The nurse, Erica, was helping him. They were taking the blood pressure of the older man. Jet was putting in an IV line and Erica was hanging up a bag of fluids. Becca could hear the way they were talking to each other. Like trusted colleagues.
‘What’s his blood pressure now?’
‘Gone up a bit. One-oh-five on sixty. I think we could give him a bit of morphine. Could you draw it up for me, please?’
‘Sure.’
Her eagerness to help was almost palpable. So was how impressed she was by the man she was working with. Becca saw the way she was watching Jet’s face as he injected the drug, rather than the patient or even the procedure.
What woman wouldn’t be impressed?
Attracted?
What would Erica say if Becca told her that she’d had the best sex of her life with Jet during that last volcanic eruption? She might not believe her. Becca wasn’t sure she believed it herself right now. Maybe she’d fallen down that slope and been knocked out again and it had all been wishful thinking.
She really needed to let go of that nebulous hope that Jet might have felt the same way she did. That them being together was written in the stars or something stupid like that. Watching Erica had just reminded her that Jet had always had, and probably always would have, women lining up wanting him. What on earth made her think she might stand out from the crowd? For old times’ sake? Hardly, given that the ‘old times’ were too painful for them to even talk about.
Her exhaustion hit her full force now. Along with a wave of nausea. She had to get out of here and find some food and water. And some rest. Her visio
n was blurry. Perhaps that was why she didn’t see Jet moving in her direction until he was crouched in front of her. Touching her hands.
‘What are you doing in here?’
‘Watching.’
‘Oh …’ Jet was frowning. He didn’t understand. Becca wasn’t sure she understood herself. Part of her had simply wanted to be near him. Another part was busy fanning the sparks of the old anger. It was all so confusing and she was too tired to think about it any more.
Jet’s nod seemed to agree with her. He was too tired to pursue the matter.
He rubbed a hand wearily over his face. ‘We’ve got things reasonably under control for the moment,’ he said. ‘Erica can keep watch. I’m going to go and check on Adam but it’s time we both got some food and rest before we fall over.’
He helped Becca to her feet and led her outside. He disappeared into the half-demolished building for some time and she sat and waited anxiously, unable to eat until she saw him emerge safely.
‘How is he?’
‘Still trapped, but they’ve figured out a way of getting him out without collapsing the timbers around him. I’ve given him some pain relief and have some fluids running and I’ve told them to come and get me before they shift any of the weight. With a crush injury, he’ll need careful management when he gets free. It won’t be for a while yet, though.’ Jet hunkered down beside Becca and nodded at a woman who was bringing them food. ‘I’ve got time to take a break.’
They sat near the warmth of the fire and ate cold sausages wrapped in bread. They drank water. Someone even made them a hot cup of tea but then they were left alone. The people that weren’t occupied with looking after the injured or helping with Adam’s extrication had given in to exhaustion and were trying to get some sleep.
It felt like Becca and Jet were alone. Sitting in front of an open fire in the middle of nowhere and in the middle of the night. The driftwood flames flickered and hissed softly, sending out tendrils of comforting heat.
‘Mmm,’ Becca murmured. ‘I love fires.’
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