Or had Alan really been her one true love? That concept gave her pause. She’d loved him. She missed him, but there was something in her that yearned for a nebulous feeling she’d never known. She couldn’t imagine marrying anyone else, yet also couldn’t envision living by herself the rest of her life.
Feeling melancholy, she switched off the TV and hunted through Jase’s CD collection for some music to feel sad to. Finding some Coltrane, she put it on and let the mournful sounds of his sax seep in. She wouldn’t have thought Jase to be a jazz fan. She flipped through his collection. He had eclectic tastes. Some were CDs she’d had at home. Others she wanted to try. Who would have thought Jase a man to sit still long enough to listen to music? He always seemed to be full of energy, kept tightly leashed in most instances. Was that part of his allure?
Not allure, she scoffed, turning away from the collection and going to lie on the sofa. He was a dynamic man. Great in the looks department. And he knew how to make someone feel special. Women would naturally be drawn to such a person. It meant nothing that she sometimes felt that special tug.
But when she tried to remember Alan, it was Jase’s face that appeared in her mind’s eye.
Sometime in the night Shannon woke. She heard a noise in the front part of the apartment. Hadn’t she set the alarm? She was sure she had. Rising quietly, she went to the door and listened. She heard another sound. Someone was in the apartment!
She leaned against her door, trying to see in the darkened bedroom. She’d left the portable phone in the living room. Was there anything she could use as a weapon? Her heart raced. If she kept quiet, maybe the intruder wouldn’t come back to the bedroom. How likely was that? If it was a robber, he’d check out all the rooms, to get as much loot as he could. The blood pounding in her ears made listening difficult. Was he coming down the hallway?
She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself enough to think. Slowly she rotated, opening the door a crack to hear better. She was afraid it would squeak or something, but it moved silently.
The light was on in the kitchen. Shannon heard water running. Frowning, she eased out into the hallway. Maybe she could get to the phone before whoever was here came from the kitchen.
She heard metal on metal. What was going on?
She kept close to the wall creeping down the hall to the living room. Pausing just before she dashed for the phone, she saw the suitcase in the light coming from the kitchen.
“Jase?” she ventured.
He came to the kitchen door.
“Did I wake you?” he asked.
She sank on the arm of the chair, her hand over her still-racing heart. “You about scared me to death! I thought there was a burglar,” she gasped. “What are you doing here?”
“I live here.”
“I mean tonight? I thought you were in Vancouver for a week.”
He came through to the living room and switched on a light. Shannon’s eyes widened in alarm, she was only wearing an old cotton T-shirt for bed. It hugged her figure like a second skin and barely reached the top of her thighs. She dashed back to the bedroom. Putting on a pair of jeans, she dragged her fingers through her hair. Who knew what she looked like!
Walking back, she found the living room empty. She continued to the kitchen, to find Jase standing by the stove, waiting for the teakettle to boil.
He looked up, his eyes dancing in amusement. “Sorry to get you up,” he said, not sounding sorry at all. “I like your sleeping gear.”
She ignored the comment. “I thought you were gone until late next week.”
“Those were the plans. However, most of the men I was to see came down with the flu. Their entire office was sick. Today only two people showed up for work. Not wanting to get sick myself, I postponed the rest of the discussion until such time as they are healthy again.”
“Oh.” Now what? She hadn’t even searched for an apartment, thinking she’d have all weekend, and then some. “I can be out in the morning,” she said.
He shrugged, turning back to the kettle just starting to whistle. “Don’t move out on my account. You can stay until you find a place, if you like.”
She stared at him in disbelief. “I can’t stay here. What would people think?”
“What people?” he asked, leaning against the counter.
Looking at him closely, Shannon could tell he was tired. The faint lines around his eyes looked deeper. His casual attitude seemed subdued.
“People at the office,” she said.
“Maryellen knows you’re staying here, but I doubt anyone else does. If they do, so what?”
She looked away. So what was right. It wasn’t as if Jase was planning some grand seduction scene—at least not with her. No one had come right out and asked where she was staying, so who would know? Maryellen was the soul of discretion.
“I planned to look at some apartments this weekend,” she said. “Maryellen gave me a new list.”
“Any in this neighborhood?”
She shook her head. She wasn’t sure where any of them were, but she had obtained a map and planned to figure out the most efficient way to view all the places.
Shannon grew more conscious of Jase’s closeness. When he reached into the cabinet by her, he almost brushed his arm against her shoulder. She should move, but instead remained where she was, feeling a delicious tingling as he drew near. She watched him take the coffee from the freezer and pour some beans into a grinder.
“Want any?” he asked.
“Not now. I’d never sleep.”
He ground the beans, the sound loud in the quiet kitchen. Shannon realized she missed the companionship of a relationship. Did Jase?
“Why didn’t you ever marry?” she asked.
He looked surprised. “We covered that before, didn’t we? I’ve never met the right girl.”
“Alan said it was because of your parents,” she said. Why was she pursuing this topic? It was more personal than she should get with Jase Pembrooke.
“Because my mother walked out, and my dad wasn’t far behind?” he said.
She couldn’t tell if the bare facts held pain after all these years. But for the young boy, it must have been devastating.
“Your grandparents loved you,” she said.
“They raised me—there’s a big difference. They were honorable people thrust into an untenable situation—abandon their only grandchild, or put their own lives on hold and raise him. They did their best.”
“But you didn’t like it there.”
He shook his head. Taking a sip of the hot coffee a moment later, he looked over the rim of the mug at her.
“What else did Alan tell you?”
“That as soon as you turned eighteen and graduated, you enlisted in the Army. Went into Special Forces, got your education while in the service. Started the firm when you got out.”
“Succinct. Did he tell you I wanted to date you, but felt it would be a conflict of interest to date an employee?”
CHAPTER FOUR
SHANNON STARED AT him. “You’re kidding.” She felt stunned. Jase had wanted to date her?
“No. I was still debating the ethics of the situation when Alan came in one morning and said he’d asked you out.”
She swallowed hard. Her heart was pounding again. “So you backed off?”
“He was my friend. I wasn’t going where he wanted to go.”
“I never knew that.” Would it have made a difference? What would life have been like if Jase had asked her out first? Even today she had an unruly sense of awareness whenever he was close by. She couldn’t stop the images coming—Jase taking her out, taking her home and kissing her good-night.
Growing warm with her imagination, she tried to stay in the present.
“Actually I don’t think Alan knew, either,” he said.
She wanted to ask if he still wanted to take her out, but dared not. They couldn’t go back to being the two single people they’d been six years ago. She’d fallen in love with A
lan and married him. Now he was dead. But he’d always be between them.
How far had Jase’s interest gone? Enough to make him leave Washington to relocate to California? Or was she giving too much importance to her role in his decisions?
“You believed I married Alan for his money, didn’t you?” she asked slowly, remembering the accusations Dean had made, and Jase had never refuted.
“At the time, I wondered,” he said evenly. “I thought that was why you jumped at the chance at dating a man old enough to be your father.”
“I loved him.”
“So it appears. He was happy with you, Shannon. Whatever your reasons were, you made him a happy man.”
“You’re as bad as Dean. I did not marry him for his money!” She had loved Alan. She also had married him because of the security he offered. That was not her overriding reason, however, so she kept quiet about that aspect. She didn’t want to give rise to any speculation at this late date.
“No, I’m not. Dean didn’t want his brother to marry anyone. He wanted to keep control of all that family money. He and Alan butted heads more than once about that. But it didn’t change anything in the end. Alan was as entitled to the money as Dean.”
“He called again, by the way,” Shannon said.
“Dean?”
“Yes. He’s asking for a full accounting of money drawn down in the last year, saying Alan wasn’t in his right mind because of the tumor.”
“I hope you told him to go to hell.”
“I told him he was crazy and I didn’t have to do it. But he’s threatening to file legal actions,” she said. She was worried he’d find grounds to take back the money Alan had saved for her. She could manage without it, but it was such a nice cushion that took the fear out of making it on her own. It was Alan’s final gift to her. She didn’t want anyone questioning it.
“Let him. There a lot of people who will affirm Alan was in complete control of his mind right up until the end.”
“He did draw down more than normal, to give me that nest egg,” she said worriedly.
“I’m sure Alan was within his rights to do that. He was so worried about you.”
“Enough that he asked you to watch out for me. I’m not a baby. I don’t need watching out for,” she said with some heat. She wondered if Alan had mentioned to Jase about marrying her as he’d suggested to her before he’d died. She did sincerely hope he hadn’t!
“You agreed, too,” he said.
“To make him feel better.”
“And what reason do you think I had?” Jase asked.
That gave her pause. “You said yes because you also wanted to ease his last days,” she said slowly. That’s what friends did. And wives. “So we can negate the deal, since we both issued promises under pressure?”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t work that way for me. I gave my word, I’ll stick to it.”
“Me, too,” she said, wishing Alan had never voiced that request. She could have stayed in D.C., found another job. Stayed away from a man who turned her upside down with just a look.
And face Dean alone? Here she had Jase at her side.
“Go back to bed, Shannon,” he said. “We’ll handle Dean if and when we need to.”
Saturday morning Shannon slept in late. She wasn’t surprised after staying up with Jase until after two. She took a quick shower, conscious he was just a few steps away. Was he still sleeping? Or had he gotten up early to take a run? He and Alan had gone jogging together when Jase visited Washington. Shannon had never been asked.
She was still reeling from his revelation he’d wanted to ask her out. She’d had a crush on him at first, but when Alan had started taking her to dinners and the theater, she’d realized what a special man he was. Her dealings with Jase had remained on a business footing.
How would her life have turned out if Jase had asked her first?
When she entered the kitchen, the coffee was made. She poured herself a cup, looking for a message. There was none.
She began preparing a full breakfast and was already half way through when the front door opened. A moment later Jase entered the kitchen, hair damp with perspiration, jogging clothes rumpled.
“Have a good run?” she asked.
He nodded, getting a large glass of water and drinking it down nonstop. He looked at the food on her plate. “Looks good, fix me some, would you?”
“Sure. It’ll be ready by the time you’re finished in the shower.” Shannon liked to cook, but breakfast wasn’t a meal to showcase. Scrambled eggs, sausage and toast were pretty standard items. Someday she’d like to make an elegant breakfast of eggs Benedict, or a Spanish omelet or something a bit more exciting.
She was on her second cup of coffee, his breakfast just ready to be dished up, when Jase came back wearing jeans and a polo shirt. His hair was still damp, combed away from his face. The slight wave that showed up was reforming.
“Thanks.” He ate with concentration, almost ignoring Shannon. She cleaned up, refreshed her coffee and sat opposite him. He looked at her.
“Ready to go apartment shopping?” he asked.
“Yes. I take it you still plan to go with me.”
“I’ll drive; we’ll get around faster that way. Where’s the first one?”
“I’ll get the maps and printout.”
Soon they were on their way to the first one. By midafternoon, Shannon had found one she liked in Pacific Heights. She and the landlord discussed terms, came to an agreement and she signed a month-to-month lease. The apartment was vacant and she could move in as soon as her furniture arrived.
“Now I have a place for the movers when they arrive,” she said happily when they were heading back to Jase’s place on Nob Hill. “In the meantime, since I can move in anytime, I’ll get a bed and some furniture to supplement what I have coming. Enough to tide me over until the rest of the furnishings arrive.”
“Or you can just wait until your stuff gets here. It’s only another week or so, isn’t it? Stay where you are until then.”
Shannon didn’t know what to say. Ever since he’d made mention that he’d almost asked her out on a date six years ago, she had become even more aware of Jase. Today’s outing had been a strain. He’d been courteous and she’d tried not to read more into it. He’d touched her from time to time, accidentally brushing against her while viewing apartments, and she’d felt each contact like an electric shock.
How could she stay in his apartment, seeing him every day? Sharing meals, knowing he was just a few feet away when she slept? Wondering if he still wanted to take her out.
No, she was still grieving over her husband’s death. She didn’t need the mix of emotions being around Jase brought.
Still, if she was to be practical, it made sense. She could eat her meals out, make sure she stayed in the bedroom when she was in the apartment. Save hotel expenses.
“Good grief, Shannon, it’s not such a big deal. Just stay.”
“Okay. Thanks.” She twisted her fingers in her lap, wishing she didn’t find Jase so intriguing. She needed to make some friends and get a life. Maybe she should volunteer at the local animal shelter. She’d enjoyed working at the one near their home in Virginia.
Until her schedule was more fixed, however, she wasn’t sure of her free time.
“Jase, I need more to do,” she said as he pulled into the underground parking.
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, but I’m not busy at the office. Alan worked hard, and you’re always on the go. I need to do more. Alan talked to prospective clients—I could do some of that.”
“Alan knew what we were doing, how to work up a presentation meeting the client’s needs. What do you know about how we operate? You’ve been on the administration side of things. It takes more than a week or so to learn all we offer.”
“So if I do learn, could I work with clients?”
He shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Then teach me.”
“It wo
uld take you the better part of this year to come up to speed. Then you’ll be off—”
“Not necessarily.”
“What?” He had pulled the car into its slot and cut the engine.
A good thing, Shannon thought, from the stunned expression on his face.
“Maybe I’ll stay with the business. I have to work somewhere. Where better than here where I’m a partner?”
“The deal was for a year.”
“Alan set that deal. We’ve already discussed that. He made no stipulations beyond the year. What if I don’t want you to buy me out?”
Jase leaned his head back on the car seat and closed his eyes. Shannon’s staying wasn’t an option. He was having a hard enough time dealing with her presence now. Knowing she was leaving in eleven and a half months was the only thing keeping him going. How would he deal with her staying around indefinitely?
Not well.
He wanted her, but she was Alan’s widow. The man had trusted Jase to watch out for his wife and then buy her portion of the business so she’d be set for life. He couldn’t betray that trust.
“It’s a done deal,” he said.
“So we’ll change it. What if I turn out to be a wonderful salesperson? I could bring the woman’s touch to things—open up a whole new division. What about targeting security for single women who live alone, or even with roommates? I think that would be a more viable way to expand than to going into software development.”
He opened his eyes, staring at the roof of the car. She was so enthusiastic. The company focused on foiling kidnapping, terrorist activities and other scenarios for businessmen. But there might be a market for women living alone. Maybe she was on to something.
He rolled his head and looked at her. Her eyes were shining with excitement, light pink tinged her cheeks. Her hair was tousled from the breeze outside. He wanted to run his fingers through and smooth the flyaway strands.
“There may be some merit in your idea, but I thought you were headed back to Washington after the year.”
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