by Daphne Barak
When she started foaming at the mouth and fitting, Blake and a female friend (who Blake later confirmed was Juliette Ashby) took her to A&E.
Janis comments: ‘If he’[d] have been in his normal state he wouldn’t [have] … He actually had the presence of mind to turn her over on her side to stop her swallowing her tongue and on that occasion he saved her life … You can argue that his actions had brought Amy to this position, but on the one occasion he actually saved her life.
‘Ironic isn’t it?’
Amy announced that her up-and-coming US tour would be delayed.
Mitch spoke to Blake’s parents, Giles and Georgette, as they tried to work out how to help their children.
In the meantime, Amy was painfully thin as she hadn’t been eating properly, was drinking too much and had an obvious problem with drugs, even if she didn’t admit it herself. Mitch says, ‘We weren’t saying this is Blake’s fault. They weren’t saying this is Amy’s fault. We weren’t doing any of that. We were just trying to calm the troubled waters.’
They agreed that Amy would take ‘me time’ at a hotel near Fleet in Hampshire, South England.
‘Amy … was going to spend four or five days there with her best friends,’ Mitch explains, ‘which I thought … would be great for her. I was going to stay there but I wasn’t going to interfere, just to make sure everything was okay. We all really needed a rest because we had a very traumatic week one way or another. Amy was there the first day on her own, but then Blake turned up. … Her friends disappeared because they had no time for Blake. They understood what his mission in life was. They decided they didn’t want to be a party to it, and Blake was there and the whole time they didn’t even come out of the room.
‘So’, I comment, ‘you didn’t even see your daughter?’
‘It was difficult,’ he says. ‘They were in the room the whole time and [then] Blake’s parents turned up …. We had a very nice meal with them the first evening. No problems at all.’
‘With Amy and Blake [as well]?’ I query.
‘With Amy,’ Mitch corrects. ‘Blake was still in his room. Blake was still in bed. My impression, at that point, was that Blake’s parents didn’t understand the extent of his problems.’
I ask more about Blake’s parents. What do they do?
‘His stepfather is a deputy headmaster of a school and his mother is a hairdresser.’
‘Are they nice people?’ I say.
Mitch is strangely reticent. ‘It’s not for me to say – but at the time they seemed very nice people.’
I ask him if, in retrospect, he thinks the Fielder-Civils didn’t like him.
‘No,’ he disagrees. ‘At the time I think they seemed perfectly reasonable people who were working to resolve the problems of two newly married people …
You were all trying to arbitrate, I suggest.
‘… All trying to help and give them both support and my stance was that they both had to go into rehab. Before Blake got there, it was decided that Amy was going to go into rehab. … Blake … turned up and [now] Blake ha[d] to go into rehab as well. And, of course, all the doctors that we had down there and the clinical psychologists they all said the same thing. “You can’t go into rehab together. It’s foolish.”’
He continues, ‘… Blake, at the time, didn’t want to go into rehab. Amy had to go in, not only because of the drug situation, which at that time I don’t think was the most important factor … it was the eating disorder that was worse than anything. She was very poorly and malnourished. … I think … her peak weight [was] of about eight stone, she went down to about six-and-a-half stone. … it was a considerable loss. …
‘In the morning I went into their room and I saw some drug paraphernalia and I reported this to Blake’s stepfather and he just wouldn’t accept it.
He said I was lying. … I said [to him], “Are you telling me that Blake is not taking drugs?”
‘So, there was an altercation and basically from that moment we have not been able to work with his parents. I am not saying anything about them. I am sure in their own way they are very nice people. Unfortunately we have had a terrible relationship with them. … In fact it has got to a point where I … had to instruct solicitors to basically tell them not to contact me because it did get very heated. They blame Amy for everything.’
I ask Mitch if he thinks Blake’s parents were just in denial then.
He agrees, ‘They are in denial. He is a fit young man and he is a healthy young man even though he takes drugs …. With Amy, if Amy takes drugs, because she is so little it hits her hard. You look at him and you look at her and it is like she is taking drugs and he doesn’t.
‘In their minds they are saying to themselves … [that] he doesn’t need to go [to rehab] and he was very concerned about Amy, in fairness to him. He was worried about her weight more than anything else. … He was very supportive and helped her with her weight to the extent of when they were at rehab she put on 10 pounds in about five days. … He was encouraging her, but in terms of the drug taking it was a complete waste of time.’
In August 2007, Blake and Amy both entered the exclusive rehab centre, The Causeway Retreat, situated on Osea island in Essex, England, about 40 miles from London.
Mitch is critical of the decision to allow his daughter and Blake, both deeply messed up at that point, to attend the same rehab clinic. ‘In the first instance,’ he says, ‘you don’t send two people who are together to rehab together. It just isn’t going to work. My feeling with a lot of these places in England – and I don’t know if it is the same in America – is that they just want the money frankly … All they are interested in is trying to make money – and why shouldn’t they? That is what makes the world go around.
‘The first period of rehab was a waste of time, apart from Amy’s weight gain. They came back for a few days and then they decided to go back again … with varying degrees of success. …
‘It was a horrible experience … [The Causeway] is [on] a small island off the coast of Essex and it is about only half a mile off the mainland … when the tide is out there is a causeway that you can walk across, but when the tide is in that is it, you are stuck there. The tide at that time of the year came in about 12 o’clock at night so, every night, the guy at the facility was phoning me and he was saying to me that they want to come back. They have sent for a car. So I said “Delay the car …” and then … at about 12.30 say, “You can’t go, that’s it. The tide is in and we can’t get a vehicle across.” … This … happen[ed] for like seven days until eventually that was it: they got off the island and that was the end of the rehab.
‘Basically it was a complete and utter waste of time. What happened after that and what upset me most of all was … bearing in mind Amy and Blake had been in rehab for drink and drug abuse, we had a meeting set up in Chelsea … [and Blake’s] parents were coming down. We had a car meet them at Kings Cross Station. That car was then going to pick Amy and Blake up and come on to our meeting place …
He continues, ‘We were in this meeting and we are waiting and there were eight people in there: the record company, solicitors, accountants, Amy’s manager, Raye, [were] all waiting and … then we get a phone call. “We have decided not to come” – Blake’s parents, they decided not to come …too much pressure. “We have decided to go out for a drink with [Amy and Blake].
‘… This is about alcohol problems and now they are going out for a drink with them.
‘We were all astonished and the next thing [the] paparazzi were all over them. There were photos of them coming out of pubs with their arms around each other and at that point we realized we couldn’t work with these people [Blake’s parents].
‘Whatever their agenda is – and I am sure they care about their son and deep down I am sure they are fairly decent people – they won’t acknowledge Blake’s problems and they blame Amy for everything. Frankly, they hate Amy. They really hate Amy.’
This is a strong statement from M
itch and I do find myself wondering if it’s true for him to say that Blake’s parents really hate Amy. I did not meet Blake or his parents during the course of my interviews with the Winehouse family but it seems to me from everything I’ve heard that Blake does actually love Amy. In fact, from my interviews with both Janis and Mitch, it also sounds as if Blake has tried to reach out to them on some occasions.
I think that this says more perhaps about the issue of according blame between the two families. Of course, Mitch and Janis think that Blake dragged their daughter into the hard drug scene – just as I understand that Blake’s parents blame Amy for allegedly bringing both of them down. So, perhaps, while I don’t think the Fielder-Civils hate Amy – as hate is such a strong word – it is probably true that she doesn’t command their full support.
After observing how the Winehouse family also interacts with one another, I think that perhaps this lack of support is a common factor in Amy’s life and could be part of the reason for many of her insecurities and problems.
When you look at it on paper, Amy should have some really good female role models within her family: Janis, a single mother who raised two children and who is a very brave woman, coping with MS – and also, her step-mother Jane, who is a strong, working woman, seemingly understanding of Amy’s problems and of the time Mitch has to spend dealing with them.
However, in reality, it seems to be all about the world of Mitch and Amy. The other family members are around and they care about Amy, of course, but it is only the dynamic between father and daughter that seems to be important. This hasn’t left much room for either of these women to have played – or to play – an influential role in Amy’s life.
Amy and Blake checked themselves into the exclusive Central London hotel, the Sanderson, after leaving their rehab at The Causeway. Mitch had dinner with the couple later that night at the hotel.
Then, in the early hours of the morning of 23 August 2007, guests reported sounds of an altercation in the couple’s hotel room and the police were called. Amy reportedly ran out of the hotel at about 3.30 a.m., chased by Blake, who appeared to have scratch marks on his neck. The couple ended up running down Regent Street, where Amy flagged down a passing car and drove off.
Blake eventually returned to the hotel, where he made several phone calls. He left the hotel again, this time returning with Amy at about 4.30 a.m. No charges were made but the couple are alleged to have had a £3,000 cleaning bill from the hotel.
Mitch first heard of it when ‘I got a phone call the next day early to say all hell had broken loose at the hotel in the early hours of the morning. Amy had run out of the room. She was covered in blood. Blake had scratches on his neck which were self-inflicted and Amy had to have a cut in her arm stitched, which she went to the hospital for and she ran away. She took a cab and he followed her and she finally went back. It was in the papers the next day. Photographs all over the papers ….’
‘Did you think it was just a marital argument?’ I ask him.
‘… he had scratches on his neck. She kicked something. She had blood on her leg. Clearly there [was] a problem,’ Mitch answers me.
‘At that point I would not necessarily say it was a drug-induced problem. It was a problem. Even at that early stage I saw that this was a relationship, which [was] destructive …. I don’t behave like that with my wife and most [people] don’t …’
By the end of August, Blake’s parents were talking to the press, commenting to the People and the BBC that both Blake and Amy needed help.
Giles even said that the couple were so close that if one died, the other might commit suicide. He added that he believed that both Amy and Blake thought they were in control of their drug habit but that wasn’t the case. Both Georgette and Giles urged fans to boycott Amy’s records to send a message.
Mitch, on the other hand, said publicly that he thought that wouldn’t work and that both Amy and Blake would eventually reach rock bottom.
I ask Mitch and Janis straight out if they believe Blake loves their daughter.
‘No,’ Janis says, ‘it’s his love for opportunity.’
‘Very well put,’ Mitch agrees. ‘I don’t think he loves her and I’ll tell you why I don’t think he loves her because if he loved her … he wouldn’t say things like he did in the paper “I can’t wait to see Amy because [I’m] going to pull her knickers down.”’
Mitch says, ‘That is not how I was brought up to talk. I was brought up to love and cherish my wife, both of them and I wouldn’t talk like that in public about someone that I loved. He doesn’t love her because if he did he wouldn’t talk like that.’
‘Does Amy find it disrespectful?’ I ask him.
‘She will excuse him,’ Mitch replies. ‘She would say that he didn’t say it. That they made it up, but two newspapers independently said the same thing. It was in inverted commas, which means it is a quote and we all know he said it.’
‘But [maybe],’ I say, playing devil’s advocate, ‘… in his terminology it’s the way to say, “I love you.”’
‘Mmm …’, Mitch considers. ‘How’s this saying “I love you”? He called her a “crack whore”. Is that a different way of saying I love you? It’s the speak of somebody who’s got no self-respect and no respect for his wife – somebody you should love and cherish. We’ve all done things to our wives we shouldn’t have done – Janis and I are an example of that – but at no point have I shown her that disrespect and disregard. We all use different terminology, but this [shows] no respect for her; no respect for himself …
‘No, he doesn’t love her.’
alcoholic logic
‘Does Amy want to live?’, I ask Mitch.
‘To live? I think so,’ he says. ‘Nobody I have spoken to regarding her situation tells me that she is suicidal. She is always planning for the future.’
So what is she doing then? I ask Mitch about this.
‘There are people that take drugs that are not suicidal,’ he replies. ‘… There have been people who have taken drugs for 40 years – people who you and I wouldn’t realize are taking drugs.’
‘Does she realize what she is doing?’ I say.
‘I don’t think she does.’
‘It must be the most frustrating position to be in your shoes,’ I comment. ‘You do realize what she is doing. You have a beautiful talented girl who is killing herself – [was] probably from the time we … started this interview. She is killing herself at this moment and it must be so frustrating for you.’
After the Sanderson incident, all eyes were focussed on Amy, whose life was seemingly being played out in the public eye like a very tragic drama. Everyone had an opinion on Amy – her music; her marriage; her addictions; her behaviour. Friends and family urged Amy to go back into rehab. In late August 2007, however, several papers reported that Amy had claimed that Blake would commit suicide if she left him alone to return there.
Amy’s mother, Janis, gave an interview to First magazine, in which she talked about Amy’s problems. She said, ‘I knew she was smoking marijuana but not that she was doing class A drugs until she collapsed. She won’t stop until she sees the point of stopping … when I saw her afterwards, I did not tell her to clean up. There was no point.’
This attitude fits in with what Janis repeatedly tells me in our various discussions – it’s ‘tough love’ – ‘I cannot help you unless you help yourself’. But without a doubt, someone needs to help save Amy. And if it is not her mother, then who else is there?
‘Looking back … is there a moment when you think that either you or Mitch could have done something different?’ I ask Janis.
‘No!’ she says coldly. ‘… I am a believer … that we live the life that has been dealt to us. … because that is what makes us, us. … Amy’s experience of fame is like … “Wow! Could it be possible? Could I really, really be like that.” And, [I think] … scared her.’
Dealing with success can be very scary, I comment, especially if you’re constant
ly questioning if it will continue.
Janis agrees, ‘I think it is all about maturity.’ She adds that Amy is childish.
‘Her songs are very mature, but she is very childish, like “I don’t want to be a woman. …”’, I respond, adding, ‘I understand that she doesn’t even have periods? Like many anorexics.’
‘Yes,’ Janis agrees, ‘but she has said that she has [had periods] recently. It is hard to know where Amy is coming from, because what she says is, “Mum, don’t worry. I have got this in hand and I have got that in hand”. [But] Alex will say, “Mum, she is not telling the truth.”’
‘But do you know she is not telling the truth?’ I say.
‘… Yes. She doesn’t want me to be troubled by it because I have got enough troubles. With Amy it is a case of we are living in “Amyland”. … It is very surreal. I certainly feel that way with her life. … [W]hen people say “Wow! Are you Amy’s Mum” and I say “Yeah, [but] she is just a regular person”. And she is. Family and friends will say, “That is Amy.” There is no surprise … she has always been that way. It is a case of “… what’s the fuss?” … They know Amy.’
‘It is one thing to be childish,’ I comment, ‘but hard drugs are something else.’
‘I think that is par for the course,’ Janis replies. ‘It is almost as if I am living her past experience. Yes, she is on the hard drugs. She is a Jazz Queen. She just does it all. … She would be upset if she thought I was upset.’
‘So, she doesn’t know that you and Mitch ARE upset?’ I repeat.
‘No.’
‘She thinks that you are happy?’ I persist.
‘Yes,’ she confirms. ‘[Amy] thinks that we are okay. … She doesn’t know the pain that she is causing us. But being us, [we] don’t want her to know of the pain we are experiencing, because we don’t want to upset her. And that is parenting, God bless it.’