by Piper Scott
“No.” Sterling didn’t want to say, but he knew there was no point in hiding the truth. Adrian would either hear it from him, or he would search Baylor’s name on the internet and learn the truth from a third-party source. Sterling didn’t want that. “Garrison Baylor owned and operated an underground omega brothel. He seduced and abducted dozens of young men—some of them underage—and brought them to work for him.”
Adrian’s hand parted from Sterling’s back. For a moment, there was nothing but the sound of running water.
“Gabriel…” Adrian sounded at a loss for words. When he spoke, his voice was hollow. “Gabriel was always on his phone, right before he left us. He was always smiling and laughing to himself like… like he was talking to someone he liked. I just thought he had a crush on someone, but…”
“I’m sorry.” There was only one time in Sterling’s life when he recalled feeling as sick as he did in that moment, but at least that time he’d had closure. There was finality in the way his uncle had stood up from the couch and brushed off the back of his thighs, and compassion in the face of his aunt as she pitied him from where she sat, a three-year-old Clarissa glued to her chest as cartoons played on the television. Even at fifteen, Sterling understood that there was nothing he could have done—that the accident had been through no fault of his own, and couldn’t have been prevented in any way.
But this?
To know that the young man in his kitchen had been taken and twisted until he believed that he was in love with a monster? To know that his abuse had started at such a young age, and that no one had known better?
Sterling couldn’t shake the sickness rising in his throat, and he couldn’t imagine how the same disgust and regret must be hitting Adrian.
“He was sixteen when he left,” Adrian admitted hoarsely. “Just sixteen. He’d barely even had his first heat.”
“He wasn’t the only one with a story like that.” Sterling turned. In his partial state of undress, he had to have looked ridiculous. Pants sagging, shirt allowed to billow without a belt to hold it in place, he knew that he wasn’t the well-composed figure of authority and stability that Adrian needed right now, but if he didn’t wash this off his skin, if he didn’t try to cleanse the ache in his heart, he didn’t know what he’d do. “There were others. A year and a half ago, there was a bust, and the whole place was shut down.”
“So why didn’t Gabriel come home?” Adrian demanded. Tears beaded in his eyes, and the bright bathroom lights made them shine. He clenched his fists and squared his shoulders, and for a moment, Sterling thought that Adrian might hit him. “If the place was shut down over a year ago, if the police stormed it, if the others were freed, then why didn’t Gabriel come home? Why wasn’t he returned to us?”
“I’m not the police. I don’t know.”
“This is bullshit!” The rage in Adrian’s voice was fractured by anguish. “This is goddamn bullshit, Sterling!”
“I know that you’re upset, and you have every right to be, but you need to calm down.” Sterling set a hand on Adrian’s shoulder and did his best to exude a calming presence, but Adrian was beyond saving. “You’re pregnant, Adrian. You need to keep breathing for the baby.”
“I am not some chattel you can order around however you want!” Adrian pushed Sterling’s chest hard enough that Sterling took a few steps back. He hit the wall of the shower stall, and his hand left Adrian’s shoulder. “If I’m angry, I’m going to be goddamn angry! I don’t care what you want, or what you think.”
It was rare that Sterling lost his temper. On the day he’d lost his mother, he’d made a promise to Clarissa that he would be there for her—that she would never have to worry about being alone. With their father always absent, her care fell to Sterling, and Sterling had done everything in his power to provide for her in the same way that their father wouldn’t. He’d resolved to never lose his temper, and to approach even the most unfair and hurtful situations with tact and understanding. Clarissa was twelve years his junior, and he understood that there were times when they wouldn’t see eye to eye. But Adrian’s anger? His willingness to lash out and attack when Sterling had done everything in his power to provide for him? To offer him and their child a cohesive, loving family?
Sterling would not take the abuse. He had done nothing wrong.
“I’m not trying to control you.” Sterling’s voice was harsher than he would have preferred, but he couldn’t help himself. Adrian had struck a nerve. “You need to understand that there is a life inside you—a life that I already love and want to care for. For as long as our child is inside you, it’s your responsibility to care for it.”
“My brother was abducted by one of the most vile men on the planet, brainwashed into thinking he was in love with him, and forced to do god knows what, and you’re going to treat me like I’m the problem?” Adrian encroached on Sterling. He jabbed a finger at Sterling’s chest hard enough to hurt. “I’m not the problem here, Sterling. I was never the problem. Do you want to know what the problem is?”
“The problem is that Gabriel needs therapy. We need to get him help right away.” Sterling would not crumble. He would not give in. He was angry enough that it showed in his voice, but Adrian was still the same man who’d stunned Sterling with his razor-sharp tongue and his scathing snark, and he was still the father of Sterling’s child.
“No, the problem is that you’ve got it in your head all of a sudden that we’re this happy little family. But you know what? We’re not. I don’t want this baby, and I don’t want you. There is no we. I came here because I had to protect what is mine. I didn’t know where else to go. If you think that I’m going to let you waltz into my life and pretend that you’ve always been there, that you’re suddenly a Lowe, too, and that you give a single shit about our home situation or what happened in Gabriel’s past, then you’re mistaken. There is nothing between us. Nothing. And you will never convince me otherwise.”
Like a beast caged and then prodded at through the bars with sharpened sticks, Sterling set his teeth. His hands clenched, and he squeezed until the rounds of his fingertips dug into his palms.
The walls were back. He’d taken them down piece by piece the night before in an attempt to get through to Adrian—to show him that there were other ways to deal with his pain than by forcing it onto others—but all of it had been for naught. In an act of self-preservation, Adrian had closed himself off, and he was falling into the same traps Sterling had seen him fall into before.
Adrian’s misery isolated him. It surrounded him in barbs that prevented anyone from getting close. Without help, he would always feel this way, but what was Sterling supposed to do?
If Adrian didn’t want him there, he wouldn’t force his way into Adrian’s life. All he could do was remain committed to his beliefs and hope that Adrian would see the harm he’d done.
After what they’d shared last night, and how Adrian had let it all go, Sterling knew there was still a chance they could see this storm through.
“All I want to do is help you and Gabriel.” Sterling kept his expression as unaffected as he could. “If there’s anything that I can do, any way that I can help, all you have to do is let me know.”
Adrian shook his head. He took a few small steps back. Worry plagued his eyes, but he didn’t let it show in his body. He said nothing. When the bathroom door closed behind him, leaving Sterling alone, he’d said all he needed to say.
The situation with Gabriel was a mess, but the turmoil in Adrian’s soul would never be resolved if he didn’t take steps to correct it. Sterling knew what it felt like to be stretched thin while caring for someone else. Once upon a time, he’d been in Adrian’s shoes, and although the circumstances were different, the pain and the struggle were the same. They’d both lost someone dear to them, and they’d both struggled to get back to normal in the wake of a tragedy. Sterling only wished that Adrian would understand.
That day, no matter how hot Sterling ran the water, he couldn’t
get clean. The grime that stuck to him hid in places he couldn’t scrub—his mind, his stomach, and his heart.
23
Adrian
An hour and a half later, long after Sterling had left the bathroom, and then the penthouse, Adrian sat cross-legged on the bed he’d shared with Gabriel. Water still dripped from his hair, and his skin was heated and damp from his quick shower. The scent of Sterling’s body wash and shampoo was distracting, sparking both irritation and guilt in Adrian every time he breathed it in.
He hadn’t meant to go off on Sterling, but after hearing what had happened to Gabriel, he couldn’t help himself. It was too much to handle, and he’d processed the news in the only way he knew how.
It wasn’t right, and he wasn’t proud, but he couldn’t take it back. All he could do now was hope that he could find a way to apologize.
But first, he needed to take care of Gabriel.
Gabriel sat directly in front of him, mirroring Adrian’s posture. He had a bowl of potato and sausage hash cradled on his lap, and he prodded at it a few times with his fork, then sighed. Adrian’s bowl sat, untouched, beside him.
“What are you upset about?” Adrian asked, trying to sound upbeat.
Gabriel looked up from his breakfast. “I heard you raise your voice at Sterling.”
“Oh.” Adrian frowned. “It was just an argument. Sometimes couples have those. Didn’t you ever fight with your boyfriend?”
It sickened him to talk so casually about the man who’d stolen Gabriel when he was too young to know better, but Adrian needed to find out more. The more he knew, the better equipped he would be to give Gabriel the care he deserved. But more than that, he wanted to know what had happened—why it had taken Gabriel so long to come home after the bust.
“Oh. Well. Yeah.” Gabriel bit down on his lip. “But I never… never really raised my voice at him. Maybe a few times at the beginning, but never after that. I respected him, even when he did things I didn’t like.”
“Why is that?”
“Because that’s our place in life.” Gabriel looked up from his breakfast and met Adrian’s eyes, worried. “Dad was right to be angry when it turned out both of us were omegas. How is he supposed to leave his company behind when we’re both inferior?”
Adrian’s mouth went dry. “We talked about this after my first heat, and we decided it was wrong. Remember? I know you were little, but…”
“No, I remember.” Gabriel dug his fork into the potatoes and lifted a portion to his mouth. He chewed thoughtfully, then set his fork down. “But I mean, I was only thirteen when you had your first heat, and I wasn’t really… well, I wasn’t an adult, and I didn’t know who I was going to be in life. But why would nature do this to us if it didn’t want us to serve the more powerful? It’s like…” Gabriel bit down on his lip. “It’s like in a pack of wolves, you know? That’s why they call the most powerful members of society alphas, and people like us omegas. Biology says that people like Dad and Garrison and Sterling should be respected, because they can do so much more than we can. They’re strong, and determined, and they’ve got all this willpower. What do we do? We’re little, and weak, and we have soft bodies that make babies. If their purpose in life is to provide and spread their seed, then our purpose in life is to care for them and show how appreciative we are for the things they do for us.”
Eating was no longer an option. Adrian felt sick. He was no stranger to the notion that there were twisted, backward people in the world who thought a human life was worth less because of genetic variation, but to hear his own brother shaped by those views and to see him so willingly oppressed by them was harrowing.
The world had changed in the last thirty years. Movements for equality had succeeded—at least partially. Omegas weren’t bound to the homestead anymore. Gabriel’s future was limitless, and it pained Adrian to think that he was purposefully limiting himself.
“You think that’s why I’m with Sterling?” Adrian asked in a near-whisper.
“Yeah. I mean. You’re pregnant, right? He must really like you. Garrison would never…” Gabriel blushed. “I kept asking him for a baby, but he would never… never give one to me. I think you’re really lucky. Sterling looks nice, and he has a nice house, and he’s going to take care of you forever.”
Adrian was torn between vomiting and hugging Gabriel so tightly to his chest that Gabriel would never be able to get away. It was like Gabriel had been brought back from the past—two different generations baring their hearts to each other. How was he going to fix this? The task seemed insurmountable.
“You said you lived with roommates?” Adrian didn’t want to talk about babies anymore. Most of the time, he preferred to forget that he had something of Sterling’s growing inside of him. It made him far too uncomfortable. “Who were your roommates?”
“Other omegas.” Gabriel picked at a fold in the bedding. “Some of them I got along with, some of them I didn’t. Dylan. He was… he was okay. Quiet, kind of closed off, but he stayed away from Garrison. There was Seth. We didn’t get along, because Garrison… Garrison liked him, and it made me angry because I was the one Garrison said that he loved. He never said he loved anyone else. And it made me jealous every time he’d get up in the middle of the night to go to Seth’s room. I…” Gabriel shook his head and folded his arms around his frame. “So there was him, but we didn’t really get along. His best friend, though? Mal? We were friends. We were good friends.”
The nausea momentarily subsided, replaced by surprise. “Mal?”
“Mm. Yeah. I think his full name was Malcolm? Malcolm something. I never got his last name.”
“Mal is the name of our new groundskeeper.” Adrian blanched. “He’s probably our age, an omega, a little awkward…”
Gabriel’s eyes lit up. “Are you serious?”
“I don’t know if it’s the same person.” Adrian studied Gabriel’s face, memorizing the excitement on it. When Gabriel looked like this, it was easy to forget that he wasn’t the same kid he’d been at thirteen. “There are a lot of omegas in Aurora, and I’m sure there’s more than one Mal.”
“Does he…” Gabriel trailed off, lost for words. “Is he a little short? Kind of cute in a nerdy way?”
Adrian frowned. The answer was yes, but he didn’t want to admit it. If Mal was one of the omegas that had been kidnapped by Baylor, and he was now working on the Lowe estate, how many of them were there? The world was small, but for it to be that small? It made Adrian doubt the numbers Sterling had given him in the bathroom.
“It is him, isn’t it?” Gabriel grinned. “Oh my god. I want to see him. Can we go home, Adrian? We don’t have to go inside the house. He’ll be outside, right? Tending to the gardens or doing… doing something? Can we?”
“No.” Adrian wasn’t going to take Gabriel back there. It was one thing when their mother was violent with Adrian, but she’d crossed the line when she’d cornered Gabriel. Adrian wouldn’t risk it. “I’m sorry.”
Gabriel’s face fell.
“Why don’t you tell me about your other friends?” Adrian asked, eager to change the topic. “Were there more?”
“There were a lot of people that I knew, but not all that many that I was friends with. Garrison didn’t like it when we made too many friends. He said it was better if we kept to ourselves so we could stay focused. Too much chatting meant that we were wasting our time.”
“Do you know what happened to them?” If Adrian had to go talk to Mal, he would, but he didn’t like the idea of leaving Gabriel alone with Sterling. If there was someone else they could go visit together without suffering potential injury, Adrian would make it happen.
“No.” Gabriel’s face lost its glow. He looked down at his lap. “The last friend I saw when I was taken away was Lucian. He was… he was calling for me through the chaos, but I couldn’t stop.”
No.
No, not in a million years, no.
Adrian had to keep himself from sounding irritated. �
��Lucian?”
“We were kind of friends, but he… he didn’t really like Garrison, and it made it hard to talk to him sometimes.”
Adrian pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. “What does he look like?”
“Average height. Slender. Elegant. Really beautiful platinum-blond hair, but not as long as Seth’s. He was a year older than me, so I guess he’d be twenty-one right now.”
Goddammit.
Of course it had to be that Lucian. The very same Lucian that had been tied up in room nine and who’d caused Adrian all of his present problems. If it weren’t for Lucian, and Lucian’s willingness to skirt club rules, Sterling wouldn’t have spared Adrian a second glance. And if Sterling hadn’t noticed him that night—if Adrian hadn’t had a reason to be on his phone—then he wouldn’t have wound up pregnant.
“I know where Lucian is,” Adrian said with some finality. It was either they headed back to the Lowe estate and risk harm, or Adrian swallowed his pride and made amends with the enemy. When it came down to it, there was no choice. “Why don’t we talk to him? Would you like that?”
Gabriel’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”
“I am.” Adrian put on a smile. “All I need to do is find his number, but I don’t think that will be hard. He used to work for Sterling, so Sterling must have his contact information somewhere around here.”
“And you’re not too jealous to talk to him? He worked for Sterling, so… I don’t know, you’re not jealous of that? If you’re not...” The beginnings of a grin exposed the tips of Gabriel’s teeth. “You’d really call him for me so we can meet?”
“I have nothing to be jealous over. Lucian is leading his life, and I’m leading mine.” Adrian wouldn’t get more involved in it than that. Until Gabriel had a better grip on reality, Adrian didn’t want to tell him about The Shepherd, or the things he’d done over the last two years. With a mindset like Gabriel’s, he wouldn’t understand the nuances. “I’ll call him. But in exchange, I’m putting you on dish duty.”