by Piper Scott
Love.
The feeling in his chest came close. It was foreign and frightening and strange, but it was filling, and beyond that, it was right. Before he knew what he was doing, Adrian lifted a hand and let his fingers curl in the front of Sterling’s shirt. They stood in silence like that, lips mere inches apart, while Adrian’s heart beat faster.
Sterling hadn’t done anything but come close, but that was all it took.
“Everything about last night.” Adrian’s vision darkened as his eyelids drooped, and he tilted his head to the side in desperate need of Sterling’s lips. “Everything you did to me last night. Everything you said.”
“I meant it.”
“I know.”
The kiss came, and when it did, it was sweet and unhurried. Adrian tasted Sterling’s lips, and he allowed Sterling to taste his. When they parted, Sterling took Adrian’s breath with him.
Adrian wasn’t sure his lungs would ever be full again.
“I forgive you.” Sterling whispered it, but volume didn’t negate the force those words had on Adrian. If he hadn’t been perched upon the desk, he would have staggered—the statement left him weak in the knees. “I know that you’re hurting. I know that you’re a work in progress. We all are, and that’s okay. I forgive you.”
There was no word Adrian knew that could encapsulate what the things Sterling said did to him. There was no sentence he could compose that was beautiful enough to convey the message of thanks he wanted to return. So instead of speech, Adrian trusted his body to speak for him. He closed the distance between their lips and kissed Sterling again.
Sterling didn’t need rope to dominate him. He didn’t need props, or toys, or dungeons. All he needed was softly spoken words and hands that knew Adrian’s body better than Adrian knew himself. It wasn’t like any kind of play Adrian had experienced before—it was better.
In all ways, even when he mouthed off and rebelled, he was Sterling’s.
And in all ways, Sterling was his.
Sterling pulled back from the kiss and patted the outside of Adrian’s thigh. Adrian opened his eyes a crack, his lips still parted while his heart beat a telltale rhythm in his chest.
“Go make your call,” Sterling said. “I’m proud of you.”
And thanks to Sterling, for the first time in a long time, Adrian was proud of himself, too.
25
Sterling
Later that afternoon, Sterling opened the alley-side door to greet a pair of familiar faces.
“Marcus.” Sterling nodded politely at the attorney who stood on the landing.
“Sterling.” Marcus nodded back. At his side, visibly irritated, was a young man that Sterling had never had the pleasure of meeting in person—Lucian Bracknell, the bartender who’d quit his job for love. “It’s nice to see you.”
“Likewise, both to you and Lucian. I was hoping that you might reconsider the revocation of your membership, and that I’d see you again. You know that you’re welcome at The Shepherd. Technically, you didn’t break any rules.”
“It was a choice we made together, and it’s a choice neither of us regret.” Marcus smiled in a kind way that let Sterling know there was no bad blood between them. “Now that we’re settling into life together, going out on a Friday night isn’t something that interests me as much as it did before.”
Lucian said nothing, but the coiled tension in his body was reminiscent of a cobra ready to strike. It looked like one wrong word might set him off. Maybe Adrian wasn’t the only one with an attitude. Clarissa had spared no detail gushing about Lucian and his excellent service, but embellishing the details was a classically Clarissa move.
“Please, come in. Make yourselves at home.” Sterling stepped back from the doorway, allowing them entrance. “Adrian is in the living room.”
On his way past, Lucian made a face. Marcus, who was taller, looked over his head and met Sterling’s gaze. They shared a small, unspoken moment that left Sterling grinning. Without the possibility of losing his job for acting out, Lucian had his claws out, and it looked like Marcus was as eager to see how he’d get along with Adrian as Sterling was.
As Lucian showed himself down the hall and disappeared into the living room, Marcus tugged on Sterling’s sleeve and held him back.
“So what is it exactly that you’re doing with two young men in your penthouse?” Marcus looked at him suspiciously. “Don’t tell me that the rumors were true. You don’t have an actual harem, do you?”
“Only on weekends.”
Marcus rolled his eyes, and Sterling laughed.
“No. It’s… a long story, but the gist of it is, I—”
“Lucian!” The overjoyed shout cut through their conversation. Sterling had never heard Gabriel talk any louder than a mumble, and found his unrestrained enthusiasm surprising.
Marcus chuckled. “Well, it looks like my boy and your boy are getting along.”
“Gabriel isn’t my boy,” Sterling clarified. “Adrian is.”
“So, is ‘the gist of it’ going to explain why you’re letting someone that manipulative into your life?” Marcus’ tone wasn’t overly harsh, but Sterling noted the difference all the same. “You know the things he did to Lucian, don’t you? Someone has to have told you by now.”
“I’m aware. On the night it happened, I found Adrian on his phone outside your play room.” Sterling looked Marcus over, waiting to see any signs of hostility in his eyes or sudden tension as his muscles tightened. So far, there was nothing. “I gave him a choice in order to see if he would be repentant, and he was, so I gave him a warning. If I ever catch him bending the rules again, he’ll have his membership permanently revoked—just as I gave you and Lucian a second chance. It only seemed fair.”
“We, technically, didn’t break any rules.” Marcus’ face was unreadable. The attorney in him shone through.
“And you haven’t been back to The Shepherd, either.” Sterling held firm. On one hand, he knew that Marcus’ disdain was valid. On the other, Adrian was the father of his child, and Sterling would not see his name dragged through the mud. “Adrian hasn’t returned to The Shepherd since you left. I’m not sure he’s planning to go back at all.”
“Because he’s your boy now?” Marcus fixed him with a scrupulous look.
“Because he’s the father of my child.” Sterling didn’t allow his expression to waver, even as Marcus’ eyes widened with shock. “I’m doing everything I can to keep my family together.”
“Shit, Sterling… I didn’t know.” Marcus looked divided. “You weren’t seeing him before, were you? For as long as he was at The Shepherd, I never saw him settle down for long. You weren’t together this whole time, were you?”
Sterling shook his head. “It’s still new. Why don’t we meet up for beer one night and we can talk about what happened in closer detail? Right now I want to make sure our boys don’t tear each other’s throats out.”
“Probably a good idea.” Marcus glanced down the hall. “I don’t hear a death match underway, so I’m taking it as a good sign.”
Sterling laughed and took the first step forward, leading the way. “Then let’s make sure it stays that way.”
There was no death match when Sterling and Marcus stepped into the living room, but the tension in the air when Sterling stepped into the room was thick. Lucian had taken a seat by the corner of the couch, and Gabriel had curled up on top of him, happier than Sterling could ever recall seeing him before. Lucian had wrapped an arm loosely around Gabriel’s waist, but as Gabriel cuddled up to his chest, Lucian peered over his shoulder to glare at Adrian, who was seated in the armchair on the other side of the coffee table.
Adrian glared back.
For someone who’d claimed he wanted to apologize, Adrian wasn’t doing a good job at breaking the ice.
Gabriel lifted his head when Sterling entered the room, and he glanced beyond Sterling to Marcus. A shy, flushed look consumed him, and he pulled away from Lucian a little as if he was n
ervous of overstepping his boundaries.
“Hello,” Gabriel said in a small voice.
“Hi.” Marcus stood beside Sterling, folding an arm to rest on the top of Adrian’s armchair. “I’m Marcus, Lucian’s boyfriend. Lucian says that you’re an old friend of his?”
“Mm.” Gabriel glanced away. “Something like that.”
While they spoke, Sterling took the opportunity to watch Adrian. From his position behind the armchair, he couldn’t see much of Adrian’s face, but he could read his body. It was clear that Adrian didn’t want to be there—he was on edge, ready to spring up at a moment’s notice. Every now and then, he shifted in his seat as if he couldn’t get comfortable. Arms crossed over his stomach, he closed himself off to the conversation.
He was here for Gabriel, and although he was bitter about Lucian, he kept the peace for his brother’s sake.
Sterling found it admirable.
Adrian’s quills were out, his walls were up, and his tongue undoubtedly longed to lash out and attack those he thought had wronged him, but for his family, he put those feelings aside. More than once, Adrian had expressed his apprehension about being a bad parent because he was a bad person, but Sterling didn’t think that was the case at all. The fact that Adrian had the willpower to hold back on his emotions for the sake of someone he loved proved that he would be an excellent father.
If only Sterling could convince him it was true.
“Gabriel and I first met at The White Lotus,” Lucian explained. His eyes were on Marcus now, and Sterling saw the bond between them. Lucian turned to Marcus for strength, and Marcus rewarded him with attention. One day, Sterling hoped to share a similar connection with Adrian. “He was brought in maybe six months to a year after I was. We were entrapped the same way—Baylor pursued us online, made us think we meant something—”
“Stop.” Gabriel pushed away from Lucian suddenly. “He didn’t make us think we meant something. We did mean something. Just because you and him didn’t work out—”
“Gabriel.” Lucian frowned.
Gabriel blinked away tears. “He loves me. He’s always loved me. I know that you’re upset—that all of you are upset—but it’s true. He wouldn’t have let me sleep in his bed if he didn’t.”
“He wouldn’t have sold you to other men if he loved you.” Lucian’s frown grew, and he tried to reach out to take Gabriel back into his arms, but Gabriel pulled away. He sat back on the couch and pushed himself into the opposite corner, somewhere between furious and heartbroken.
Immediately, Adrian stood up and sat on the arm of the couch where Gabriel had settled. He looped an arm around Gabriel’s shoulder. With a shuddering sigh, Gabriel laid his head on Adrian’s thigh and closed his eyes.
“Lucian,” Marcus warned.
Lucian looked at Marcus, uncomfortable. “I’m only telling him the truth. Baylor didn’t—”
“Lucian.” There was no room for argument in Marcus’ tone. It was a final warning. Lucian shut down, and the topic of conversation changed.
It was Adrian who spoke next.
“I know that we’re not exactly on friendly terms, and before I contribute to this conversation at all, I want to clear the air…” Adrian looked down at Gabriel, and Sterling watched the expression on his face change. Anger was still present there—little pinpricks of irritation that tightened his features and made him come across as mildly abrasive—but Adrian let it simmer into nothing. He took a deep breath, laid a hand on Gabriel’s head, and stroked his hair reassuringly as he spoke. “I’m sorry for what I did. I was jealous, and vindictive, and I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. You have every reason in the world to hate me, and you should hate me for what I made you go through, and for the pain I caused you, but… but don’t take that out on my brother. If you want to yell at me, degrade me, hit me, humiliate me, fine. All I ask is that you be kind to him.”
There were a million ways that Adrian could have handled the situation. He could have pled for total forgiveness or pretended that nothing wrong had ever existed between them. He could have made the case that he’d done nothing that wasn’t deserved, or brought up Lucian and Marcus’ sins like they were worse than his own.
But he didn’t.
The cocky young man with the mile-high confidence had grown past that. Adrian embraced his flaws and acknowledged his shortcomings. He accepted that he’d made mistakes, and he expressed regret for them.
Sterling’s heart filled with pride.
“I’m not going to insult you.” Lucian tented his knees and ran his hands up his thighs. “I don’t think Marcus is going to, either. I’m here for Gabriel, and he’s here for me.”
“If you were here for me, then you wouldn’t tell me that Garrison doesn’t love me.” Gabriel spoke so softly that Sterling barely heard the words. “You’d tell me where I could find him so we could be together again. I didn’t think you’d be so jealous.”
Lucian and Marcus exchanged uneasy looks. Sterling saw, but Gabriel’s head was pressed into Adrian’s side, and he doubted that Gabriel knew anything was going on. A look like that meant trouble. Like a bomb was about to drop, the room grew silent, and the mood became somber.
“Gabriel?” Lucian asked. He tucked his legs against his chest like they might shield him, and set his chin atop his knees so he could look in Gabriel’s direction. “Garrison Baylor is a bad man who did awful, terrible things. After the bust, when you were taken away, he was… well.”
“He was found guilty of multiple federal offenses, and he’s currently in appeals.” Marcus took over for Lucian fluidly, like their minds operated on the same wavelength. It was the first time Sterling had seen them together as a couple outside of their play session at The Shepherd, and it was captivating to see the love between them, and how smoothly they integrated it into their lives. “…But in my professional opinion, the appeal will do nothing. He is going to be behind bars for a very, very long time.”
The hitched sound in Gabriel’s throat might have been a sob, but it was hard to tell, because as soon as he made it, he pressed his head against Adrian’s side and checked out from the world. Adrian stroked his hair and whispered something, and this time Gabriel did sob. It was a wretched, heartbroken sound that woke Sterling’s paternal instincts and made him want to root out the cause of Gabriel’s pain and do away with it for good.
“It’s okay to be sad,” Lucian murmured. His arms tightened around his legs. “When the police came and liberated us, I didn’t know what to do, either. I was… I wasn’t in the right head space. Baylor did things to us that never should have been done and made us think things that we never should have thought. It took me almost six months into therapy to realize it. We don’t have to be his slaves, Gabriel. We don’t have to belong to anyone.”
“That’s easy for you to say.” Gabriel tore away from Adrian’s side with such ferocity that Sterling braced himself to intervene should there be a fight. It looked like Adrian’s temper was genetic. “You have an alpha to look after you. I can… I can smell him on you. I know that you’re together—that he’s… he’s touching you. Making you feel good. That he cares for you.”
No one said anything. Even Adrian, who seemed most highly attuned to Gabriel’s mood, stayed silent and still.
“It’s easy to tell me that I don’t need someone when you have all your needs being met. But I’m alone now, Lucian. I’m alone, and I don’t have someone there for me, and I’m lost. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to be freed. I wanted to stay with Garrison. I love him.”
“I think that you’re in love with the idea of being loved and cared for,” Lucian murmured, gaze lowered. “That can happen again. You can find a good man to love you. I found Marcus, and—”
Gabriel lunged at Lucian with a feral cry that harbored heartbreak. It pierced Sterling’s eardrums and sank straight down his spine, but his body instinctively knew what to do. He bounded across the coffee table in a heartbeat and grabbed Gabriel mid-lunge. As his he
art raced and his vision refocused, he saw Marcus plastered on the couch in front of Lucian, shielding him from attack.
Their eyes met. Sterling yanked Gabriel back as Gabriel lashed out and clawed at him. Marcus stayed in place in front of Lucian, chest heaving as he struggled to regain his breath. Marcus had jumped into action to keep safe the most important person in his life. His love for Lucian bound him as his protector. And Sterling?
As Sterling restrained Gabriel and blocked Adrian from harm’s way, he realized that he’d done the same.
The realization was vivid, and it raced through Sterling’s veins alongside his spiked adrenaline. Somewhere along the way, between their head-butting and love-making, Sterling had fallen for Adrian. And not only had he fallen for Adrian, he’d fallen for the idea of them as a family.
Adrian. Gabriel. The baby. All of them slotted into Sterling’s life like they’d always belonged there.
He was ready to be a father, but he was also ready for so much more.
“He needs to be treated at Stonecrest Omega Rehabilitation Center.” Lucian ducked out from behind Marcus, visibly unshaken from the near-attack. “They helped me when I was at my worst. The counselors there retrained me how to think, how to act, and how to behave in public. I don’t know what happened to Gabriel after the bust, but—”
“He took me,” Gabriel snarled, struggling to break free. Sterling locked his arms around Gabriel’s chest, surprised by his strength. “He took me and he ran when the police came. He kept me away from Garrison, locked me up, used me…”
“Who did?” Adrian demanded. “Who took you, Gabriel?”
“The man without a name.” Gabriel thrashed. “He took me.”
They weren’t going to get any more out of him than that. Gabriel had been triggered, and he wasn’t going to come back down.
“I’m going to put him to bed,” Sterling said. He lifted Gabriel by the chest and set him beside the couch so his feet were on the floor. “He needs to calm down. I’m sorry for the upset.”