by Piper Scott
Somehow, despite the walls he hid behind and the barbs he wore, Adrian had found a man who trusted him without reservation. In Sterling, he’d met his match.
Strong where he was weak, confident where he was timid, and willing to listen when Adrian ran his mouth, there was no other man who fit him as well. Adrian let that thought settle in his bones and flood his mind. He’d been questioning it for so long, far too full of self-loathing to admit it for what it really was, but he had no more doubt.
He loved Sterling.
And slowly, he was learning to love himself as well.
Adrian jolted awake to the sound of an incoming call. At his side, Sterling stirred, but Adrian barely noticed as he flailed an arm to grab his phone from the bedside table and yanked it back to his chest. He answered with his eyes closed, longing to fall back asleep.
“Hello?” Adrian croaked. Sleep fragmented his voice.
“Adrian?” Like being doused in ice water, one word was all it took to shock Adrian to full lucidity. Short of breath, all Adrian could do was listen. “Adrian, where are you? Where is Gabriel?”
It was his mother.
Since Adrian and Gabriel had come to stay with Sterling, she hadn’t called once. She hadn’t so much as sent him a text. Their father was equally as absent, but that was to be expected. Adrian thought she’d finally let them go, but he was clearly mistaken.
“Mom?”
“Where is he? You took him from me again, didn’t you? Didn’t you?”
It wasn’t morning sickness that turned Adrian’s stomach. Not this time. He curled up on himself, struggling against his nerves. All it took was the sound of her voice to drag him back toward his negative mindset, and he fought it with every bit of mental fortitude he had. He didn’t want to go back to living like that. Not again.
“No,” Adrian said. “You were going to hurt him, so I took him where he’d be safe.”
“If you don’t bring him back to me right now, I’m going to call the police.” The stern way she spoke was serious. He squeezed his eyes shut and delayed, trying to find the best way to shut her down. If she knew where Gabriel was, if she checked him out and brought him home prematurely, he would be subservient and meek his whole life. Adrian didn’t want that for him. “I’ll have you arrested. I’ll have you thrown in jail for so long, you rot there.”
“Stop.” Adrian knew he sounded heartbroken, but he had no more walls left to put up. Sterling had stripped them down one by one, laying them to rest. Now he remembered why they were so important. Hearing such evil things from his own mother destroyed him in ways Adrian didn’t know he could be destroyed. “I’m your son. I know that what I did before was wrong, but… but it was a long time ago, and Gabriel’s getting the help he needs now. I’m looking after him as best I can.”
“You think that I’m going to believe any apologies from you?” The longer he engaged her, the angrier she became. Each word was like an arrow, fired with such velocity that it pierced him straight through. “You’re a snake, Adrian. Everyone knows it. Everyone saw how you treated Gabriel. You made him run away, didn’t you? You made him run before, and now you’ve gone and made him run again, and for what? Because you’re jealous? Because you can’t get it through your thick skull that you will never be what we wanted you to be, no matter how hard you try?”
The ice water that had chilled Adrian’s stomach didn’t feel much like ice anymore. Putrid bile rose up his throat, burning. His hand shook.
He couldn’t let her do this. He couldn’t let her win. He’d come so far and tried so hard, and he wouldn’t let her shut him down now.
“Mother.” Adrian’s voice was solid—he refused to let it betray how sick she’d made him feel. “I know that it’s hard for you to understand, but Gabriel is an adult now, and he’s able to make his own choices.”
The bed shifted. Sterling was moving, but Adrian couldn’t bring himself to look. What he needed to do, he had to do on his own.
“You can call the police if you want. You can call the FBI. You can call the goddamn president, if that’s how far you want to take it. I’m not going to stop you. But you know what the sad thing is?”
There was silence from her end of the call.
“The sad thing is, you’re never going to get anywhere, no matter how many people you call. You don’t control us. You don’t own us. We’re omegas by birth, but we’re not omegas by spirit. And do you know why that is?”
Now that Adrian had started, he couldn’t stop. The person he’d used to be was back, but he recognized his anger, and he allowed it. He wouldn’t let himself be stepped on. He wouldn’t stand by meekly as his mother attempted to ruin Gabriel in the same way she’d ruined him.
“Because there is no difference between our spirits. All of us are human, and all of us are motivated by the same things. Love. Safety. Stability. Family. You don’t have any say on what Gabriel says, or does, or thinks just because you think you’re above us. That’s not how this works.”
“I am his mother.”
“And I’m his brother.” Adrian gritted his teeth. “And you know what? Ever since my first heat, I’ve let you and Dad walk all over me. I’ve bowed my head and I’ve listened to what you had to say because I felt guilty—guilty that I’d let Gabriel slip through my fingers, guilty that I’d turned into such an asshole after being smacked down time and time again, and guilty that I couldn’t be the son you wanted. Even after Dad locked me in my room and wouldn’t let me out, even after you wept for weeks and weeks about how I wasn’t who I was supposed to be, I tried to please you. I went to goddamn college hoping that maybe if I got a degree and was successful in business, you wouldn’t think I was such a failure.”
Blood rushed in Adrian’s ears like the sound of the sea, drowning out any reply. If his mother said anything, he couldn’t hear it. He was too incensed to care.
“But I’m done now. I’m done. You are toxic, and you know what? Dad is, too. You got into my head and made me into this hateful creature, and I can’t take it anymore. Not now that I’ve found a welcoming home—not now that I’ve found someone who can see through the monster you made, someone who tries to lift me up instead of shove me down.”
“You will bring Gabriel home right now, Adrian. You’ll do it, or—”
“No.” Adrian was done listening. He was done holding his tongue and bowing his head when it came to his family. All these years he’d believed he’d deserved it, first for being born the wrong way, and then for losing Gabriel. But he was done with punishing himself. He deserved to be free. “I’ve found someone that values me for who I am and somewhere I want to be. I’m not going back home to you. I won’t. And Gabriel won’t, either. Not unless he decides to do it of his own free will.”
It didn’t matter if Sterling heard. It didn’t matter what Sterling thought. If it turned out Sterling didn’t want him like he claimed he did, then Adrian would move on with his life. He’d find a job, get an apartment, and make it work on his own. He wouldn’t be treated like a second-class citizen anymore.
“I’m calling the police!”
“Good.” Adrian’s voice cracked, the only sign of the emotional turmoil building up inside. “Have fun wasting your time. Goodbye.”
He hung up, clawed the back panel of the phone open, and yanked the battery before she had time to call back. It hurt more than he cared to admit that his parents would never understand how wrong they were—that they’d never know that in a few short months, they’d be grandparents—but Adrian had to stand up for himself as well as the ones he loved.
“I’m proud of you,” Sterling whispered from just behind him. He slid a hand over Adrian’s hip, and Adrian’s bravery deflated. Silent tears rolled down the sides of his face. “It took courage to do what you did. You should be proud of yourself.”
“I am.” Adrian brushed the tears away. “It’s just… it’s hard. It’s hard standing up for what’s right when you’ve allowed what’s wrong to dominate your life for such a long time.�
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“It will get easier.” Sterling kissed the back of Adrian’s head, and Adrian closed his eyes. “I promise. Our situations aren’t quite the same, but I’ve had to make hard choices like that, too, and I know how much it hurts.”
“Family is what you make of it.” Adrian swallowed the lump in his throat and rolled over so he was chest to chest with Sterling. They were both still nude from the night before. “I’m learning that now. I’m learning that thanks to you, and the way you cared for me and Gabriel even when you didn’t have to.”
“I love you, Adrian.” Sterling stroked his arm, and as he did, the chemistry between them bloomed all over again. Just when Adrian thought he was used to it and that it would fade into obscurity, it rose back up with such crushing presence that Adrian fell in love all over again.
Adrian’s throat tightened. He closed his eyes and cuddled against Sterling’s chest while Sterling loosely held him. Sterling loved him.
And he loved Sterling too, with all his heart.
“Not only because you’re pregnant with my child, but because you’re you. When I asked what I asked, I did it not because I feel a sense of obligation toward you, but because I want you. I want to see if we can make this work. My heart already knows that we can.”
After the mountains Sterling had moved and the pain he’d endured for the sake of being by Adrian’s side, Adrian knew that it was true. He’d lashed out at Sterling verbally, challenged him, pushed his buttons, and hurt him for selfish reasons, but Sterling had never given up on him. Not only that, but he treated Adrian with unparalleled kindness—the kindness Adrian had always needed, but had never felt worthy enough to receive.
Circumstance had thrust them together, but now Adrian didn’t need to justify staying by Sterling’s side. Once, he’d thought Sterling was a construct—a man who thought he ruled over all, and whose image was carefully crafted in order to boast his superiority. Now Adrian knew otherwise.
Sterling was kind. He was gentle. He didn’t need harsh or scathing words to assert his dominance, just as he didn’t need whips and chains. The way he lived his life and the way he treated others reflected on his character. Adrian had been blind to it before because he hadn’t realized kindness like that existed.
And yet here Sterling was, ready to comfort him after one of the hardest phone calls of Adrian’s life, willing to take in his younger brother after a terrible tragedy, and eager to step into the unexpected role of father without batting an eyelash.
Adrian had put it off for months, but there was no more sense in denying what his heart told him was true. He looked into Sterling’s eyes and spoke the words he knew Sterling had been waiting to hear. “I’ll stay.”
31
Sterling
Sterling smoothed belly butter over Adrian’s rounded stomach, rubbing it with his fingers until it soaked into Adrian’s distressed skin. The hardly there bump from five months earlier had turned into an impossible-to-miss, full-out baby belly. Adrian had struggled through a difficult semester as his pregnancy progressed, but he’d been adamant about graduating on time. Sterling couldn’t have been prouder, and he had no qualms with letting Adrian spend long hours at school if it meant he could spoil him on the weekends.
But now, school was out, Adrian had graduated, and they were settling into the understanding that they were to be a family. Adrian’s due date was next week, and all prenatal visits so far had confirmed that the baby was healthy. They’d made the decision together not to find out the gender of the child in advance. To Sterling, whether the child was a boy or a girl didn’t matter. His love was not dependent on chromosomes.
“Look at you,” Sterling murmured. His fingers dipped into the jar of belly butter again, and he spread it across Adrian’s taut skin. Adrian let his head fall back into the pillows, and he hummed in contentment around his cherry-colored ball gag as he pulled weakly at the restraints that locked his hands to the headboard. “Look at you, so beautifully pregnant. What a good job you’ve done so far. You make this look so easy.”
With a whimpered moan, Adrian lifted his hips. In the last month, he’d been hard almost all the time as his hormones geared up, preparing his body for the delivery. They’d spent more time in bed in the past few weeks, Adrian riding his cock to exhaustion, than they had throughout the length of their relationship.
Relationship, Sterling could now say with confidence, because it was one.
Adrian was his.
“Do you have any idea how good of a father you’re going to be?” Sterling asked. He leaned forward and kissed the peak of Adrian’s belly. He’d only just initiated play, but he was already hard. Whether it was his body reacting to the scent of Adrian’s pregnancy, or paternal instincts rising up from an innate part of his psyche, the sight of Adrian so pregnant never failed to turn Sterling on. “And how lucky this baby is to have you?”
The way Adrian sucked in a needy breath told Sterling that he’d been heard. Sterling continued to rub, letting the product soak in. As soon as Adrian had started to become vocal about how much his stretched skin ached, Sterling had taken it upon himself to work skincare into their play scenes.
These days, some carefully executed praise and a little physical stimulation was all it took to send Adrian into subspace. So far into his pregnancy, and with Braxton Hicks contractions already a daily part of Adrian’s life, Sterling hoped it was still enough.
“Think of how far you’ve come,” Sterling whispered against Adrian’s bump. He allowed his lips to brush against it as his hands worked Adrian’s skin delicately. “Think of how far you’ll go. Do you know how few people allow themselves the chance to do what you’ve done? How few people truly commit to bettering themselves?”
Most of the time, when Sterling whispered sweet things to Adrian while they were in bed, Adrian was too absorbed in the moment to respond. He’d gasp, or arch his hips, or plead with Sterling to take him, but it never went much further than that.
But the tiny moan Adrian made and the way he wiggled his hips wasn’t typical, and Sterling saw why right away.
The baby was kicking.
Sterling’s heart fluttered, and he smoothed his hand along the disrupted skin as Adrian struggled to regain himself.
“The baby agrees,” Sterling whispered. He kissed where the baby had kicked, then lifted his gaze so he could gauge the reaction on Adrian’s face. To his surprise, Adrian had lifted his head. Eyes glazed with arousal and softened with love, it looked like he’d already found subspace.
Was it really going to be that easy?
Before he could push Adrian any further into pleasure, Adrian rang the small bell in his hand, and Sterling abandoned his belly to undo the ball gag that muted him.
Bright silicone parted from Adrian’s mouth, a strand of saliva adhered to the ball’s surface and left to stretch between Adrian’s lips and the toy. Adrian worked his jaw, then looked Sterling in the eyes with his hooded, mile-high eyes and spoke words that made Sterling’s jaw long to drop.
“The baby is luckiest because she has you.” Adrian’s voice was small and rough from disuse, but Sterling heard it all the same. “Do you have any idea how amazing you are? How good of a father you’ll be?”
Floored by what Adrian had said, he rose up on his knees and forgot about the belly butter for a little, allowing himself to climb Adrian’s body until they were nose to nose. By now, Sterling had learned to read the signs Adrian gave him. He recognized the slow, deep way Adrian breathed as his body let go and his mind soared free, and he knew the look in Adrian’s eyes of total, inarguable release. When they kissed, he read the passion in Adrian’s lips and knew that while Adrian was beyond himself from the scene, he was doing his best to drag Sterling along with him.
No partner had ever done that for Sterling before. Love, delicate but confident, broadened Sterling’s heart. It would be like this forever—the chemistry between them would never die.
“She’s beyond lucky to have a man like you there
to help her grow up.” Adrian’s tongue, usually sarcastic, was now sweet. Sterling shivered, the praise sinking through him in ways he hadn’t expected. Today’s play session was supposed to be about Adrian’s pleasure, but it looked like Adrian had other plans. He already knew pain—now he was learning pleasure, too. “To care for her, to see her through the hard times, and to celebrate with her through the good.”
Sterling’s cheeks heated. He tilted his head to the side and kissed the lips that praised him, the message made so much better for how unexpected it was.
“And she’s going to grow up to be just as kind as you are.” Adrian ended the kiss so he could speak, but his lips stayed close to Sterling’s. “She’s going to be every bit as wonderful as the father who raised her.”
“The fathers who raised her.”
There was no reply, but Adrian’s tiny gasp was answer enough. Sterling lifted himself from where he leaned, intending to take Adrian into his mouth while his hands rubbed in more belly butter, but the look on Adrian’s face stopped him.
Something was wrong.
Adrian tugged at the restraints keeping him in place, then winced and groaned. When he opened his eyes again, the cues that suggested he was in subspace were still present, but they’d become clouded by pain.
“Sterling?” Adrian asked uncertainly. “Baby?”
“I’m here,” Sterling said. He undid the restraints immediately and worked Adrian’s wrists with his thumbs. They didn’t look injured, but he couldn’t be sure. There was always the chance that Adrian had started to cramp. “What’s going on? You need to tell me so we can work on it together.”
“No, it’s…” Adrian winced again, and he covered his belly and turned over onto his side. His legs folded, but his belly was too big for him to curl up into a ball. When he sucked in his next breath, it was uneasy. “Oh god, they’re real.”
“What’s real?”
“The contractions.” Adrian sucked in a breath, face already starting to turn red. “I’ve been having them all day but I thought they were Braxton Hicks like the ones before, but I don’t think they are. Not anymore.”