“Of course you can. Now that I think about it, you never really take any time off to go home. You’re from the Midwest right?” Nicks asked as he looked up from his desk Sunday evening.
“Yeah. Chicago,” I answered, looking at the picture on his desk. “Nicks, your family is from here right?”
With his accent even thicker than normal, he proudly said, “New York born and raised.” He even puffed his chest out a little bit.
I laughed for the first time all day. “Okay, okay. You see them a lot?”
“I do. They live right outside the city.” He gave me a perplexed look. “What’s going on? You feeling homesick, Mya?”
I gave him a wink. “I am home.” And then I walked out of his office.
Besides Kelsey, no one knew what I had going on and that’s the way I liked it. For the rest of the night, I did my normal routine of flirting with customers and slinging drinks. Monday and Tuesday went the same as Sunday. I worked hard and kept my mind and body busy. I worked myself to exhaustion so that I could sleep all day. But for some reason, I woke up Wednesday afternoon with a sinking feeling in my gut.
Although I only planned to be in Chicago for five days, I packed ten outfits and multiple pairs of shoes. Dragging my suitcase to the front door, I double-checked to make sure I had everything. I was going to be at work until at least three o’clock in the morning so I wanted to be able to get at least eight hours of sleep before catching my early evening flight.
Even though it was early, I felt like I needed to get out of the apartment. Throwing my crossbody bag over my head, I left even though something didn’t sit well with me. My stomach was in knots, so I stopped to get a smoothie since I didn’t think I’d be able to tolerate anything else.
My heart clenched and my stomach twisted causing me to stop in my tracks.
What is going on? I wondered as I tentatively resumed walking, heading down the street to Duke & Duchess.
Pulling my phone out, I called Kelsey.
“Hey, how are you?” I asked as soon as she answered.
“I’m good. About to meet Phil for lunch. What’s wrong? Why do you sound like that?”
I stepped to the side of a woman pushing a double stroller. “I don’t know what’s wrong exactly, but something is wrong. I can feel it.”
“Do you think you’re nervous about having that face-to-face conversation with your dad?”
“Well, it started when I woke up this morning and it didn’t stop. I pushed the feeling down for a while when I was packing, but for the most part, I’ve had a weird feeling all day. And I don’t think it has to do with going back home.”
“Well what do you think it could be?”
“Colton,” I admitted as my thoughts immediately honed in on the person who’d been haunting my thoughts since I met him six weeks ago. “I have to go. Thank you!”
“Call me back and let me know what you find out,” she shouted before I disconnected the call
Looking at the phone in my hand, I saw that I had an hour before I had to be at Duke & Duchess. I stood a block from my place of employment and on a whim, I hailed a taxi.
“Hi, Inkwell please,” I said to the driver as I climbed in back.
He turned all the way around and peered at me. I could see him looking at me skeptically as he gruffly asked, “Which location?”
“Um…Brooklyn please.”
“That’s right…the Harlem one doesn’t open until next weekend.” He pulled off from the curve and watched me in the rearview mirror. “I’ve gotten a few of my tats done there. They do pretty good work. Even though it’s a bit expensive, the quality makes it worth it. Are you meeting some friends to get your first tattoo?”
“Yes,” I lied, running the palms of my hands on the thighs of my jeans.
This creeper does not need to know that no one is waiting for me, I thought checking my phone.
“Good, you shouldn’t go at it alone. It’ll hurt, but you get one of those friends of yours to hold your hand and you’ll be okay. Just don’t get it on your ribcage. That hurts like the dickens.”
“Thanks for the tip.”
He pulled up a minute later and I handed him money. I jumped out of the car and ran into the building. The black corseted top was a head turner as I walked into Inkwell. A couple of men who were browsing tattoos openly stared at me as I made my way to the first familiar face I saw.
“Hi, Bethany,” I greeted her with a smile. “I’m Mya. I work over at—”
“Duke & Duchess,” Bethany interrupted, giving me a big smile. “And you’re Colt’s girl.”
My heart skipped a beat at that label. Colt’s girl, I thought, letting the classification roll over me before I resigned myself to the fact that someone else was ‘Colt’s girl’. I could’ve been Colt’s girl, but now he’s with... No, I don’t know that. I don’t know who picked up his phone. It could’ve been Bethany. Even though he didn’t mention any other women aside from Bethany and his family in the time we were…friends. I just need to talk to him. I just need to see him.
“Is Colton here?” I asked, keeping the plastered smile on my face.
“No. He...um, he said…,” she stammered and then trailed off. “Just call him.”
“Thanks so much,” I said as I turned on my platform heel and walked out as gracefully as I could with my heart hammering out of my chest.
I couldn’t even get my thoughts together as I scrolled through my phone with shaky fingers. I pressed call and waited. And then it went straight to voicemail so I hung up.
Flagging down a taxi, I called and hung up three more times from the car before I allowed myself to freefall into a nervous wreck. I walked into Duke & Duchess on the brink of tears. I immediately went to the break area and hoped no one was in there. But no such luck.
“What’s wrong?” Jessica asked as soon as I walked in.
“Nothing,” I answered as I put my bag in my locker. Turning to look in the mirror, I shook my hair out. When I was satisfied with my appearance, I walked out.
“Why the hell are you here? I thought Devin was working tonight,” Rhiannon said from behind the bar.
“So did I,” I muttered as I made my way to the other side of the room.
Nicks had done a great job keeping Rhiannon and I off of the same shift. But today, right now, is not the day for Nicks to try to play mediator, I thought as I walked to the front door. When I heard her sighing loudly in an attempt to get my attention, I turned around with my hands on my hips.
“Mya, are you okay? I haven’t seen you a lot lately,” Rhiannon started loudly, her voice was artificially sweet. “I thought that after I stole your boyfriend, you were avoiding me.”
“Rhiannon, are you okay?” I mimicked her tone, walking toward the bar. “I don’t want you to think that because you’re tall, I won’t beat your ass.”
“You should’ve warned me about how big Colt’s dick is. I almost couldn’t take it when he took me to the bathroom and had his way with me.”
Ice ran through my veins as her words hit me. All I could hear was that woman answering his phone replaying in my mind. I narrowed my eyes at her and my lip curled in disgust. “What did you say?” I hissed at her, balling my hands into fists at my sides. I kept moving toward her until all that separated us was the bar.
“You heard me,” she challenged, staring daggers at me. “Colt came here on the night of the wrap party and although he was asking for you with his mouth, he was asking for me with his eyes. So when we met up again at Devin’s party, he couldn’t keep his hands off of me.”
She’s lying, I thought as I took a couple of deep breaths to calm myself down. And she’s trying to get to me because she wants me to put my hands on her. And if I were to fight her, she can either have me arrested or at least threaten to have me arrested if Nicks doesn’t fire me.
I smirked, taking a step away from the bar. “I know what you’re doing and it’s not going to work. One, I don’t fight over men. Please believe me w
hen I say, I’d love to punch you in your face, but that has more to do with your horrible personality than anything else. And two, Colton wouldn’t ever have sex with you. I was with him when he left Devin’s party. And three, you may have everyone else fooled, but I see right through you.”
She started screaming something at me, but I ignored her and went straight to Nicks’ office.
I knocked twice and then opened the door. Nicks was typing furiously on his computer when I walked in.
“Give me one second,” he said, distractedly. He finished and then he looked up. “What’s up?”
“Either she goes or I go,” I announced with conviction.
Nicks rubbed his hands down his face. “Mya, I can’t just fire her for no reason. That’s—”
I looked at Nicks for a second and saw the worry etched on his face. “That’s fine. But I can’t work with her. She’s going to make me fight her and orange is not the new black. We can talk about my severance when I get back from Chicago,” I said as I turned and stormed out of his office.
“Mya wait!” Nicks called after me at the same time his office phone rang. “Mya!”
Going to the break area, I grabbed my belongings out of my locker and then left the building. I hadn’t walked out of a job in two years and I didn’t remember it feeling so shitty.
I wanted to call Kelsey, but I didn’t want to interrupt her date with Phil so I sent a text message. Before I had a chance to put my phone back in my bag, it rang.
“What do you mean you walked out?” Kelsey screeched as soon as I picked up the call.
I gave her a quick rundown of my confrontation with Rhiannon and the conversation with Nicks that followed.
“Wow…that’s intense,” Kelsey breathed into the phone. “You don’t believe her, do you?”
“No. Not at all. After we argued outside, he walked in the direction of his apartment. And you said you didn’t see him for the rest of the night. And more than that, he knew how I felt about her so he wouldn’t do that.”
“You trust him,” she stated, stunned. I could hear the shock in her voice. “Do you know what that means?”
I wasn’t sure if she expected me to answer her question or not, but I pursed my lips and said nothing. The realization hit me hard.
I didn’t like hearing Rhiannon say that she was with him because I don’t want to think about anyone else with him. Especially not her bitch ass. But I never believed he was with her. I trusted him. I trust him. I want him. I only want him, I admitted to myself. But that doesn’t explain the woman answering his phone.
Kelsey’s voice was gentle as she said, “Did you ever tell him how you felt about him?”
“No,” I answered quietly as I walked slowly down the sidewalk, the end-of-summer sun beating down on me. “I knew this day was going to be rocky as soon as I woke up. I thought it had something to do with Colton so I went to Inkwell. He wasn’t there.”
“Do you know where he went?”
“No. Bethany looked really uncomfortable when she realized I didn’t know though. I’ve called him three times and it doesn’t even ring. It goes straight to voicemail.” I ran my manicured nails across my forehead. “I want to talk to him before I leave for Chicago. I need to, Kelsey.” My eyes watered.
“We’ll find him. Don’t worry,” she reassured me.
Not wanting to succumb to the tears I felt threatening to fall, I changed the subject. “How was lunch with Phil?”
We talked for the next thirty-five minutes about Phil and how to get rid of Rhiannon before we ended the call. She was spending the night with Phil so we decided to meet for brunch before my flight. After thanking her for being a great friend, I went inside of my building and tried to spend the rest of the evening on the couch watching reality TV. I attempted to clear my mind, but my brain wouldn’t stop working so I drank.
With each glass of wine, the urgency I felt to contact Colton increased. I went from soberly worrying that I had waited too long and that I was too late to drunkenly freaking the fuck out. I went from soberly searching online for any cell towers being down to drunkenly Google searching Colton Davis missing person. I went from soberly acknowledging that I had feelings for him to drunkenly pronouncing that I loved him.
He saw me, the real me, all of me, and he called me unique. He knew my baggage because he cared enough to push me to tell him. He made me laugh. He brought out passion in me. He made me trust him. He made me happy. And I pushed him away because of it. I let my guard down and then I tried to put it back up. And I may have messed everything up because I was too scared to get hurt. I was too scared to let him in. I was too scared he would do to me what I thought dad had done to mom, I whined into another glass of wine. I tipped my head back and took a massive gulp of the sweet liquid. Mom said to fall in love with someone who thinks I’m special, who thinks I’m unique! And I did. And it might be too late.
Picking up my cell phone, I called one more time. When the voicemail came on immediately, I drunkenly decided to leave a message.
Without preparing what to say, I whispered into the phone, “Colton please…” before nerves got the best of me and I hung up.
Maybe if I close my eyes for a few minutes, I can leave a better message, I thought as I climbed into bed. Gripping my phone in my hand, I fell into a dreamless sleep.
“I’LL TAKE AN OMELET WITH cheese and a water, please,” I said quietly to the waiter. “Thank you.”
Kelsey looked at me with her eyebrows raised. “You look like you have a hangover,” she observed as soon as the waiter walked away.
We sat in a booth at A.M., a breakfast bistro in the airport. I slipped my sunglasses down my nose. “I only drank wine last night for the sole purpose of preventing a hangover. What I wanted to drink was vodka…lots and lots of vodka. But I could not fly with a hangover.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t stay with you last night, Mya.”
“No worries.” I reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “I needed to get my head on straight and I needed to do that alone.”
“So after Phil fell asleep, I searched the internet to see what could possibly cause a phone to just go to directly to voicemail all day. The only thing I could really find is either he powered it off, lost it or it was damaged somehow.”
“I doubt he’d power it off since he runs his own business, you know? I’m guessing they’d need to contact him or something, right?”
Kelsey gave me a look. “How often do we contact Nicks when he’s out of town?”
I nodded my head. “I see your point. Very true,” I conceded.
We sat quietly for a second, mulling over the possibilities.
“Oh and we can’t forget the fact that Bethany looked really uncomfortable when I asked where Colton was,” I reminded her.
Kelsey nodded and with her elbow on the table, she rested her head on her hand. “That’s throwing me off.”
“I know! I keep thinking the worst.”
Our food was placed in front of us and we continued to come up with possible scenarios for where Colton could be, why Bethany looked so uncomfortable, and how the woman who answered his phone could be linked to it all.
“I don’t think the woman who picked up his phone is someone he’s dating now or anything because she didn’t seem mad that I called,” I thought, reflecting on the brief, one-sided conversation that took place. I gave it thoughtful consideration and then I stopped mid-chew. Swallowing, I added, “Unless…”
“No, no…we’re not thinking like that. It was probably harmless. And even if it wasn’t, you don’t argue outside of a bar with someone you don’t have feelings for. Whatever he had with her—which was probably nothing—can’t possibly touch what you two have. It’s going to be okay.”
I knew she was giving me the sugar-coated bullshit that we generally refrained from using with one another. But just like a good best friend, she knew when I needed to hear it to keep from freaking out and letting my imagination get the best of m
e, I thought, giving her an amused look.
She nodded emphatically to emphasize her point.
I smiled in appreciation. “The last time his phone rang was when I called him over the weekend. That’s when the woman answered,” I stated between bites of my food. “I have nothing else. I have no idea where he could be or who he could be with. I called him a bunch of times last night and each time it went to voicemail.”
“Did you leave him a message?” Kelsey asked as she ate her oatmeal.
“No… I wanted to, but I didn’t have the nerve. I figure if I can just get him on the phone or better yet see him in person, I’d know what to say. If I think about it too much, it makes me nervous.”
“Putting yourself out there is nerve-racking. But I’m so proud of you for going for it! Whatever happens, you’ll be glad you did it.”
“I don’t know. I feel really stressed out about everything. I just need to have my stress-free night at the Waldorf Astoria before preparing to see my family.”
“You did not tell me you were staying there!”
“Oh, I’m only staying tonight and tomorrow night. I didn’t book a room after tomorrow night because after the wedding mess is over, I don’t know how long I’m going to stick around Chicago. And this guy who I was friends with in college works there and hooked me up with a great rate.”
“Nice!”
I winked playfully even though my stomach was in knots.
I needed to fix things with Colton to set my mind at ease. I didn’t let a lot of people in. And besides Kelsey, there was distance between me and everyone I truly cared about. But my father is my father and that doesn’t change no matter how angry I am at him. My sisters are my sisters and on top of that, we’re triplets, so that bond is forever. But Colton, unless he chooses to be a part of my life, is not tied to me in any way. If he chooses to walk away, that’s it. Nothing will change it.
And that scares me more than the idea of letting him in did, I realized as we finished up our brunch. My stomach flutters when I think about him. My heart races when I see him. My skin warms when he looks at me. My life is better when I’m with him. It’s crazy… the one man I forced myself to walk away from is the one man I can’t see myself living without.
Love Discovered in New York (The Washington Triplets) Page 12