I set my hands free from their safe haven between us and wrap them around his waist, sighing and enjoying this regret-free kiss. It pushes Lee even closer, both of his hands on my cheeks, guiding my mouth into his, and his relief is evident in the release of his muscles along his waist and back.
Earlier, I wanted to pause time in several instances — when he took my photo, when he held my hand, when he smiled at me over the top of the coffee bar — but, now, this is what I want to remember. This is the moment when he likes me for all the right reasons, and I want to capture that blissful ignorance and never live without it.
The moment unsticks, our lips pulling away at the same time, and he kisses me along my left cheek to my ear. I hug him close and rest my forehead on his shoulder.
“Thank you for tonight, Laura,” he whispers in my ear, and I nod into his sweater, letting myself feel happy for this instead of sad he won’t be here tomorrow. We dislodge our arms from each other and do our best to smile at one another before he takes my hand, leads me to the curb, hails a cab, and puts me in it.
“Don’t be a stranger, Lee.” I lift my eyebrows at him while closing the door.
My last glimpse is the smile on his face, his hand raised in goodbye, as my cab speeds away down Third Street.
(>’o’)> ♥ <(‘o’<)
I don’t remember anything about the cab ride, the stairs to my brownstone building, nor the path I weave up to my third floor apartment. I fumble with my keychain and drop it once before taking a deep breath and focusing all of my attention on the brass key that’ll permit me entry inside. When I get the door open, the hinges creak, and the bottom sweep scrapes across the front hall, catching on the carpet. The cleaning ladies were here again and didn’t move the carpet back the six inch clearance it needs, and neither did my mother. She’s pretty oblivious to this sort of thing.
I dump my bag on the floor, close the door, and lean back against it, staring down at our line of shoes along the white, hallway wall. My mother’s perfect pumps sit next to my flats and running shoes.
“Laura, is that you?” my mother calls out from the kitchen. The shuffling of slippered feet approaches the hallway. “How was dinner?”
“It definitely wasn’t just dinner, it was a date.” I stare back at the floor, concentrating so hard on the green and black pattern of the rug, I hope to pause time and go back.
“It was?” she asks, coming forward into the hallway.
“It was the best first date in the history of all first dates.” I unwind the scarf from my neck and pick up my bag from the floor. “And he’s going home to Korea tomorrow.”
“Oh, honey. That’s too bad.” Her mouth twists to the side, her eyes sad. I haven’t had a good first date in years. This should be laudable news but it’s not.
“It’s okay. I’m going to bed. Why are you still up?”
“I was talking with Aunt Sally on the phone and lost track of time.” She’s already in her pristine robe, tailored, pink pajama pants peeking out from under the hem, and her graying blonde hair is twisted neatly up at her neck. She opens her mouth and throws in some pills before swallowing them with a gulp of water. “And then Richard called, and he has all of these plans for us for the next few weeks…”
“That’s great, Mom,” I interrupt, not wanting to be subjected to all the details of events her newest perfect boyfriend has for them. I’m sure she’d open her mouth and tell me about the next trip to Monte Carlo Richard has planned, and then I’d want to barf. Mom is on her fourth perfect boyfriend in the last two years, and I’ve gone on one good date, tonight. “Really, I’m tired. You can tell me tomorrow.”
“Okay. Night, Laura. Sleep well.”
I walk to my bedroom, step over the basket of folded laundry in my doorway, and shut the door before bursting into tears. I’m a lonely thirty-two-year-old woman living with my midlife-crisis mother. I should stop wanting things I can’t have, but I don’t regret that dinner-that-became-a-date one bit.
Chapter
Six
=
Lee
My apartment in Seoul is quiet when I walk in, the door clicking silently into place behind me, my dress shoes tapping along the marble floor to the kitchen. Everything seems to be where I left it a few weeks ago except for the pile of mail on the kitchen island next to the cooktop and a bottle of wine missing from the wine rack. Next to the pile of mail is a note written in Cori’s slanted handwriting, “I watered your plants too, have no fear. But the wine came home with me.” A scribbling of Evie’s name resides right underneath. I pick up the note and slip it in the island drawer dedicated to every piece of art Evie has ever given me.
I didn’t sleep at all before my flight. I returned to the hotel after putting Laura in a cab, had a bourbon brought up by room service, and stared out the window until my alarm went off. She caught me off-guard, an unexpected treasure unearthed when I least expected it. I usually stay at the Plaza when I’m in New York, but this was a last minute trip, and they were booked solid, so I ended up at the Algonquin. If I hadn’t stayed there, I would never have met her. My instincts tell me I need to hold onto her somehow, but I’m terrible about following my instincts. I dissect a decision until the outcome is completely logical. The lawyer in me always wins. I can’t believe I’m willing to jump from one long-distance relationship to another, but Laura is vastly different from Sandra. I could love Laura. I could never love Sandra. I never even told her I love her, and we’ve been dating for years.
I slept almost the entire flight back to Seoul. I’m lucky enough to work for such a high-powered law firm that I fly first or business class everywhere. I got a Screwdriver when I boarded the plane, put on the eye mask, reclined back all the way and fell asleep for five hours straight. Traveling makes me sleepy. The white noise of airplanes puts me out like I’m some sort of infant. Thankfully I’m thirty-five and can still have a drink or two to get me through.
So I’m only mildly tired and hungover when my phone buzzes not five minutes after I arrive at home.
Cori Winslow
Are you back?
Lee Park
I am. Just now. Gonna shower and meet you guys for dinner. Where?
Cori Winslow
Evie wants pancakes.
Lee Park
I’ll meet you at Butterfingers in 45 minutes.
I’m starving, and pancakes, bacon, and coffee sound perfect as jet lag food. But before I set my phone down, I open up the Photo Library and look at Laura’s picture again. I didn’t imagine her. She’s real. I took her out to dinner and coffee, and before I put her in a cab home, I kissed her. I haven't been on a date like that in... Never.
A voice in my head said, “Don't let this one get away,” and when it’s that decisive, I have to listen. I grabbed control and erased all sense of vulnerability from either of us. Figuring out what to do next is harder. I swipe through my open apps to find the World Clock, which is the app I use the most, as stupid as that is. It’s only 5am back in New York. Laura is probably asleep. I wonder what she did with her Saturday while I was flying halfway around the world.
One hot shower, jeans, and a t-shirt later, I grab my coat and get my Mini Cooper Clubman from the garage downstairs. Butterfingers is in the same neighborhood where I live, Cheongdam-dong, but the car hasn’t been driven in a few weeks. I’m too tired to walk, so I’ll take the car out for a spin. I circle the block around the restaurant twice and find a small spot to maneuver my car into. The block is crowded with Mercedes and BMWs with a few Smart cars wedged into the tiniest spots available. Chris and Cori don’t own a car and the Clubman is just barely big enough for all of us. I’ve taken them to visit my family outside of Seoul and Busan several times. We can’t spend more than two hours in this tiny thing, though, so we don’t do road trips often.
“Lee,” Evie shouts as I enter the restaurant. Despite the fact that this place sells American breakfasts, the restaurant is busy at all times of the day. I stop inside the door until
I spot her, standing up in a booth near the back, waving her arms at me.
“Sit down, Evie.” Cori pulls her daughter down next to her. Evie’s straight brown hair is in ten million different directions with no less than five pink hair clips holding it back from her face. She’s wearing pink from head to toe, an obvious sign she dressed herself this morning. I babysat overnight once for Cori and Chris so they could get away, and Evie dressed herself in pink for every moment.
“Hi guys.” I slip in next to Chris and shrug off my jacket, clasping hands with him. He’s a quiet guy, and when we’re out for drinks alone, we talk incessantly, but not if Cori’s around. She’s always been the louder and more ebullient of the two — night and day. She makes tons of friends wherever she goes, her no-nonsense attitude and common-sense style appealing to just about anyone.
Silence descends on the table, as I tuck my keys in my coat pocket, and, when I look up, they’re all staring at me. “What?”
“You are a completely different person, Lee,” Cori whispers, her eyes wide with shock. She puts her hand to her mouth and squints her blue eyes at me. “I’ve never seen you smile so much after such a long trip. You tend to be beat down and depressed.”
“Really? Well, I’m happy to be home this time.” I grab the menu and start to think hard about what I want. Maybe waffles.
“No, no. Wait.” Cori reaches across the table and pulls the menu down, examining me again. “That date went a lot better than you indicated. Did you…” She glances down at Evie who’s scribbling in a Hello Kitty coloring book. “You know…”
“No, I did not.” I did not sleep with Laura, though I wanted to.
“Did you kiss her?” Cori asks.
This has Evie’s attention. “Lee kissed a girl?”
“Girls, please leave Lee alone, for Christ’s sake.” Chris doesn’t even look up from his menu, the annoyance clear in his voice, but Cori rolls her eyes at him.
“Yes, I kissed a girl,” I tell Evie and she smiles at me. “And then I put her in a cab and sent her home,” I tell Cori.
“Have you spoken to her since?”
“No, I haven’t.” I pull my iPhone out of my pocket and set it on the table. No messages. “I thought about texting her, but it’s early in New York. Maybe before bed.”
“Tell me all about your date. Right now,” Cori directs.
We order food, and I fill her in on our dinner and coffee, how perfect the conversation was, how attracted I was to Laura (but I leave all the details G-rated for Evie), and how we ended things after our kiss.
“She said, ‘Don’t be a stranger, Lee.’ I think she’s up for something long distance, but I don’t know.” My plate is already empty, the waffles standing no chance against my jet lag and hangover. I gulp down an entire glass of water as Cori stares out the window and thinks.
“Are you up for it?” Chris asks. “Because a long-distance relationship with Sandra didn’t work out.”
“Yes, but Sandra’s a bitch,” Cori says, and Evie gasps.
“Mommy, you said that wasn’t a nice word.”
“You’re right. It’s not. I’m sorry.” Cori mouths, “Total bitch,” to me when Evie goes back to her almost full plate of pancakes. Evie barely eats (she’s so picky). Any meal with her takes forever as she fights over every bite of food that goes into her mouth.
“I’m not sure,” I say, stretching back in my seat. “It’s not like I know her at all except for the conversations we had. But I’m not finding the right woman in Seoul either. I’m almost never here. Unless I marry someone right away, any relationship is going to be long-distance.”
I shrug my shoulders, and Chris and Cori nod in time with each other. “Hazards of our business.” Chris rubs his almost bald head and removes his wire-rimmed glasses to massage his eyes. Chris is in the fortunate position of having met Cori and married her years ago, before moving to Seoul. But my situation is not unique amongst other men and women in our firm. We all travel and many of us are single. International law is a time-consuming business and hard on families. Cori and Evie miss Chris when he’s gone.
“Speaking of which, I’m off to Europe this week. Italy. So if you could spend time with my girls, I’d appreciate it.”
“Of course. Let me get some sleep, and then we can go out Wednesday or Thursday. I need to be in the office Monday and Tuesday anyway.” I keep normal hours at the office a few days per week when I’m in Seoul to catch up on paperwork, file documents, and speak with my bosses about what’s next on the agenda. I’ve been working my regions for the past few years, and I have the hang of them. I cover, with a team of three others, Asia and India. Chris works in and out of Europe and Russia. Our traveling paths almost never cross. We were lucky to meet in the office.
“I have to debrief with Min-Yung because I’m off to India again in two weeks.” I stretch and yawn, my body confused about where I am and the time. Evie rests her head on Cori’s arm. 20:00 is close to her bedtime.
“Min-Yung was saying Sandra’s been calling every day.”
“What? She hasn’t contacted me in three weeks. Not since the last email she sent suggesting we break up for good.”
“Well, you know Min-Yung likes her. They’re gossiping behind your back,” Chris says, nodding his head.
Min-Yung is an admin assistant I share with Chris, and she’s familiar with Sandra and my entire family, but Min-Yung is not good about minding her own business. I close my eyes and think. On one hand, I could tell Min-Yung to stop talking to Sandra, or I could let them be. It’s not like Sandra is bothering me which is what I want right now.
“We should pay and go home.” Chris waves for the check and, just then, my phone buzzes. For a moment, I’m confused. Everyone I text is right here with me, excepting Sandra. Dread causes my hand to slowly grab my phone.
Laura Merchant
It’s early morning Sunday here. I think you’re in Seoul now. I hope you had a good flight.
I unlock my phone and stare at her text. The one previous to it was, “I like it sweet,” and I smile remembering her laugh.
“That’s her, isn’t it?” Cori stops putting on Evie’s coat and tries to lean over to peek at my phone, but I snap the screen to my chest. Mine.
“Yeah, hold on a second.” I remove myself from the table, grab my coat, and leave money with Chris. “I’ll drive you guys home with me. Just give me a minute.” Outside, I move to the right of the door and think before texting back.
I had decided back in New York that I liked her, but this is new territory for me. If I don’t text her back, she probably will give up.
And I don’t want that.
Chapter
Seven
=
Laura
Lee Park
I’m in Seoul and had a good flight. I’m so glad to hear from you.
Really? I spent all of yesterday wondering if Friday night was a dream, wondering if I really had met him. Did we kiss on the corner of Third and Broadway? I thought I imagined it, and then marveled at how good my imagination is. It was torture waiting to text him. I knew he was on a plane, and I didn’t want to seem desperate.
Rolling over in bed so I’m on my side, I concentrate hard on his words. He’s glad to hear from me. I doubt he’d write that if he didn’t mean it. Lawyers think about every word.
Laura Merchant
:) I calculated how long you’d be on the flight and hoped I caught you before bed.
Lee Park
You did. I just finished dinner and am about to head home.
I hesitate with my thumbs poised over the keyboard. It’s been a long time since I put myself out there, and it’s even stranger to be doing it over text to someone seven thousand miles away.
Laura Merchant
Lee, thank you so much for dinner Friday. I really enjoyed talking to you. And you’re a great kisser too :)
There’s only a few seconds wait until I see him writing back.
Lee Park
I want the chance to do that again.
Laura Merchant
Me too. What are you doing now?
Lee Park
I’m about to drive Cori, Chris, and Evie home. Sleep.
What are your plans for today?
Hmmm, good question, Lee. It’s early but the sun is already bathing the street outside my window in gold, and my mother is shuffling around in the kitchen making breakfast. But I snuggle down into my comforter. I don’t want to face my mom yet. She didn’t even ask about my date yesterday, and then she spent the entire afternoon and evening with Aunt Sally. I’ll stay in here and pretend to be asleep.
Laura Merchant
I think I’ll eat breakfast and read. Then go for a run. No other plans. An easy Sunday.
Lee Park
I need about a year’s worth of sleep and I need to go to the office tomorrow.
Laura Merchant
I hope you sleep well.
Lee Park
Thanks. Hey, I have an idea. Are you busy on Monday night?
What is he up to? And, of course, I’m not busy on Monday night except to go to the gym.
Laura Merchant
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