It was now or never. She opened the door silently and walked into the entryway. Indeed, she could hear the shower. Following the sound, she went up the stairs, the carpet absorbing the sound of her footsteps. The house was on its way to looking like nothing untoward had happened there. She had barely entered his room when an arm came around her from behind, and she was pinned against a muscular body. A damp, muscular body. Just as quickly, she was released.
“You really shouldn’t try to sneak up on a person.”
“I see you’re faster on your toes today.” She was breathing heavily from the shock of being grabbed. It wasn’t that long ago where she’d been able to sneak up on him; clearly, he was back on his game, and she was a bit off hers.
“I guess so,” he said, advancing toward her. Unconsciously, she took a step backward and another, until her back was against a wall and he was flush against her. Every rock-hard plane of his body touching every softer curve of her own. She worked hard to keep herself in shape, but her muscles were still feminine. “To what do I owe this surprise?”
“I…needed to see you. To explain—” His mouth crashed down onto hers, and her arms went up and around his neck. Then her legs somehow found their way around his hips, and he carried her across the room to a chair in the corner and sat with her nestled in his arms. He kissed her again and then nuzzled her where her shoulder met her neck.
Unsure of herself, she didn’t know how to begin. Flustered, she looked at the ceiling as her head lolled back while he nibbled at her ear. Chemistry had never been the problem, but she needed to make sure they were on the same page. She needed to convey how she felt. The words to let him know what he meant to her, even if he didn’t reciprocate those feelings.
“I…” She paused.
“What’s wrong?” he asked with a strange tone to his voice—was it worry she heard or a trick of her mind? He stopped kissing her neck abruptly. Her libido cried, don’t stop while her head said, yes, that’s better, I need to be able to think and form words. “Jessie, look at me.”
Her throat worked as she swallowed and then looked into his searching eyes.
“I know I made a mistake, I was stupid and…” She swiped at a tear and swallowed again.
“Keep going.” His voice was soft, but not unkind.
“Shh…let me talk. I know I’m stubborn. I can’t change that; no matter how hard I try, I just can’t. But I know if you give me a chance, just a chance, you could forgive me for my terrible behavior. If you just give me a chance to show you how much I love you…” Tears were freely flowing down her cheeks, and she was suddenly fighting the urge to get up and run away. Breaking eye contact, she stared at his forehead, his sumptuous mouth, his glorious chest; anywhere but those intelligent and all-consuming eyes. She knew she sounded absurd, like a whining child. Please give me one more chance to prove I can behave like an unselfish adult. Gah, she had more self-worth and self-preservation. She wanted him to see the unvarnished, real woman she was, not this whiny child. She needed to see him without all the cloak and dagger federal agent stuff. Even if she didn’t need a man to show her how valuable she was, she needed this man in her life. No longer able to stand the silence, she moved to stand up and felt his hands come down on her hips, effectively stopping her from leaving.
“You stupid woman. You stupid, stupid woman.” Shocked at his words, so brutal, but delivered so kindly, her eyes darted up to his. He was smiling as he tugged her closer to him and he looped her arms around his neck. Facing him, she found herself hoping she wasn’t misunderstanding his cues. He reached up and touched her cheek before speaking again.
“You don’t get it, do you? You never got it. Do I lust for you? Yes. Have I even noticed another woman since you stormed into my life? No. Do I love you? Yes. Undeniably. The moment I saw you, I was yours. From the beginning, you were mine. I no longer saw anyone but you. I had to protect you, whether you were willing to let me or not. I lusted for you, I wanted you, I needed you. In my bed, in my arms, in my home, and in my life. You are the air I breathe, you are my world—my whole existence would be nothing if not for you. You and you alone made me see there was more to life than work and one-night stands. You woke me up from the stupor I had been living in. Jessie, it was you, always you. You ruined me for any other woman. My only regret is my fear and stubbornness that day allowed you to walk away from me.”
As he tenderly spoke the words she had longed to hear, he began to gently caress her cheek. She hadn’t realized until then how badly she craved his touch. It was as if she had been missing a part of her until he was there. He wiped the dampness from her cheeks and her tears disappeared around the same time butterflies began to flutter in her stomach and warmth began to spread down low.
“Cole, I…”
“I love you, Jessie. I have loved you from the moment you rushed down the sidewalk like a storm on a warm summer day and jabbed your finger into my chest. You stole my heart when I saw you covered in mud on the ground after Royal Flush threw you and you stood up determined to get back on the saddle. Every defiant look you gave me stole my breath and made me yours. I may not have known it at the time, but it was there like a seed planted deep inside me. Growing as my love was cultivated. I was yours. I am yours. You captured my heart when you didn’t back down. Do you understand now?” His lips swooped down and claimed hers in a fiery and passionate kiss, making her stomach feel like she had just plunged down the steep slope of a roller coaster. “I need you to be mine forever. It’s crazy, I know how crazy it is, we’ve only known each other for a short time, but it’s all the time I need. These last two days without you, I was consumed by a feeling I’ve never felt. It was like a dark void had swallowed me up. To quote a very wise man, ‘we could waste time sidestepping each other, or we could do ourselves a favor and get married…’”
“That’s not what he said…wait, what?”
“Say you will, say you will marry me. Please…”
“Are you serious?”
“I have never been more serious in my life. You risked your life to give me my family back, and I couldn’t love you more than I do right now.”
“But it’s crazy. We just met.”
“Who cares if we just met; I know you are my other half. While you were gone, I was going crazy without you here. I couldn’t stand the void you left when you went home. I want to show everyone you’re mine and I am yours. I want to give your amazing grandmother and our parents those babies they crave.”
“You are serious.”
“I’ve never been more serious in my life.”
Her eyes filled with tears and she looked lovingly into his as she answered him.
“I love you, Cole Davenport. I would like nothing more than to call you my husband.”
Epilogue
The Kentucky Derby was about to happen, and she was surrounded by all the people that meant the most to her. Her eyes continued to leak tears at random times, but she didn’t care. What were a few tears anyway? Hadn’t she earned them over the course of the grueling months that had led to getting her life back? She damn well had. It was okay to be emotional—it was understandable. She was still trying to decompress from everything that had happened and the fact that she had met and fallen in love with the most amazing man. It was crazy, and a lot of people would be telling her she shouldn’t marry a man she’d just met. Especially since they had met in such an intense manner, but she didn’t care what those people thought. She knew her mind, body, and soul and all belonged to Cole. Like he belonged to her.
As they settled in to watch the race, she held onto her exceptionally beautiful hat, as was a tradition at the derby, with one hand and laced her fingers through Cole’s. She finally felt whole for the first time since she was a young teenager, terrified her parents weren’t going to come home. The man next to her had helped to restore that feeling, and she was head over heels for him. They had decided they would marry at the farm in the fall. While she was more than willing to fly to Las Veg
as and make it official, Cole wanted to give her a family wedding. He felt they both deserved a quaint wedding with all the bells and whistles. With everything they’d been through, she tended to agree with him. Of course, she found it hard not to agree with him when he kept waking her up in the early morning hours, showering her with kisses.
What wasn’t to love about the man? He was her hero, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. She smiled when she heard a voice down the way. Turning, she saw Agnes LaBlonde heading her way. Her grandmother had somehow managed to find the most amazingly outrageous hat of them all. She couldn’t help but giggle at the sight and then her eyes went misty when she saw her parents behind them. They settled down next to her as the race was about to start.
“The Race for the Roses is about to start,” Cole said, and Jessie could sense the nervous energy from all those around her. There was so much riding on many of these horses—no pun intended, she thought.
As the horses entered the gate, she inched forward on her seat. Pulling for Race the Stars, the whole family—both sides—deserved something fun to start off the summer. She had somehow turned Race the Stars into a symbol of all they had endured, so when the horses went to the gates, Race the Stars among them with JD on his back, she had tears in her eyes. JD had physically healed enough to get back to practicing in time, which is exactly what he needed to heal emotionally. He was surprisingly only superficially injured from his ordeal; the dehydration had been more of an issue than the bruises, and the mental scrapes would take a long time to heal.
As the race started, Jessie found herself holding her breath until Cole squeezed her hand, which in essence deflated her. She let the breath out with a whoosh, her eyes intently watching for the horse with the red and white jockey. As they came around the final turn, Race for the Stars was in third, and when they came down the home stretch, he went wide to pull out around the leaders. The race was neck and neck, and when they crossed the finish line, it wasn’t immediately certain who had won.
“Photo finish!” Cole shouted. “Wow, what a race.”
“You can say that again!” Hank was smiling from ear to ear. The look of pure joy was enough to heal the last crack in her heart. She was more than happy that her parents had decided to take desk jobs at the bureau. At first, she felt selfish because she wanted them out of harm’s way so that she could actually get to know them again, but in the end, she realized they wanted a less dramatic life for themselves as much as she did.
“How long will it take to determine the winner?” Her grandmother was, as always, a bit impatient to get to the good stuff. They had good seats, and Jessie was confident she knew who the winner was. The smile on her face spread as she heard the announcer.
“And the winner is…”
Later that night, they were at the Davenport Farm celebrating the win. The champagne was chilled and flowing. Going in they had been hopeful that the hometown heroes would bring home the purse and they had been rewarded. The money would go a long way to help get everything up and running again. It seemed like most of the town had turned out for the party, which was more than a derby victory party as the partygoers were also waiting for a very well-timed meteor shower. There was much to be grateful for, yet Jessie found herself separate from the group. She had wandered to the barn, or what used to be the barn. They hadn’t wasted time; it was already under construction.
She knew she was missing the main event, but she needed that moment to process everything she had to be thankful for. The fact that she’d been given a second chance to get to know her parents and create memories with them was incredible. But to find herself engaged on top of all the other things she had to be grateful for was overwhelming. And even though they were in the backyard with everyone else and she was solidly in the here and now, she still had to pinch herself to remember it wasn’t made up. In the end, it had all worked out, but it could have gone the other way with even the smallest error. For now, she contented herself with the fact that El Diablo was good and dead and could no longer do any damage. She was sure someone else was already gearing up to take over his enterprise, but for now, she couldn’t worry about the inevitableness of all the evil in the world.
The warmth of his body reached her mere seconds after she sensed him there. His arm wrapped around her waist, strong and steady. The constant she had needed in her life, the missing piece she didn’t know was lost. Leaning into him, she breathed deeply, holding the breath, savoring the masculine smell of him. Placing a kiss on the crown of her head, he wrapped an arm around her waist.
“A bit overwhelming, isn’t it?”
“It is, but I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.”
“I know what you mean.”
She turned into his arms and reached up until her hands were in his hair and her mouth was locked to his. The feel, the touch, the taste of him was almost too much, but not nearly enough. She wondered if it would ever diminish. She doubted it, but even if it did, it didn’t matter. She was going to do her best to live in the present from that day forward. No more dwelling on the past, because it was just that—the past. And the future was uncertain, but she knew as they broke apart and walked back to the backyard that she was right where she needed to be as long as he was there for her.
He paused before they joined the crowd and she turned concerned eyes on him.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He lifted her chin and kissed her again. “I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and how grateful I am to have found you.”
“I wouldn’t mind hearing those words every day.”
“Good, because I plan on telling you every day.”
“Even when we fight?”
“Even when we fight. I can’t promise we won’t fight…”
“I wouldn’t believe you if you did.”
She kissed him soundly until he patted her on the backside and whispered, “Come on, Jessie, we’re missing the stars.”
Continue on for an excerpt from Missing the Moment.
Missing the Moment
A Story of Love, Trust & Honor, Book 3
Stephany Tullis
"I got ice in my veins
Blood in my eyes
Hate in my heart
Love in my mind"
~Lil Wayne~
Epigraph
I wish they'd stop with the chit chat.
Dang, my hands are freezing.
I wish they'd leave me alone.
God, my stomach.
If they don't get the hell out of here, I just might punch somebody in the face.
I'm tired.
Don't want to do this.
If Lana asks me one more time if I want a cup of tea, I swear I'll scream.
Listen to that cackling.
Oh, God. I can't handle this.
I feel like I'm at the wake for my own funeral.
I hate them.
I hate myself.
I hate that man.
Ohhhhhhhh........
Get out!
All of you....just go away!
CHAPTER ONE
"Don't be scared to walk alone and don't be scared to like it,
Sometimes you have to be lost before you find yourself."
~Unknown~
Three months later...
Shelly Stavins revved her new Lexus RC fire-red convertible as though she was competing in the Drift Atlanta annual car race. The sweet eager response of the smooth engine of her once fantasy car matched the spiked heart palpitations that had become the norm for her. She never imagined that she'd leave her one and only child with her younger sister. Nor with anyone else for that matter. Aiden belonged with her.
Now.
He was her responsibility.
Now.
He needed his mother.
Now that his father had deserted him.
She had not fully bought into her argument that Aiden was better off in Lexington with his cousins and Leo, their new puppy, than with his mot
her. She'd yet to find a way to respond to his incessant pleas as to why he couldn't see his missing-in-action "dad." But for now, Shelly accepted that Bethany and her family were Aiden's "safe place."
She deep-sixed Bethany's plea that she and Aiden move in with her and Larry and refused to listen to her sister's analytical presentation on the pros and cons of her proposal. Shelly didn't want to hear it. In her mind, there was no upside to uprooting Aiden from the only home he knew, to her sister's for a short stint, only to uproot him again to have him start anew. Her plan was to make her baby's transition from the familiar to the unknown as easy as possible.
Plus, the last thing she needed was to be surrounded day in and day out with a sister who believed in happily ever after and had a family and friends who proved life was indeed a picnic with all the condiments and fixings. Boy Scouts, soccer, ladies' night out, and a third-Friday date night each month with hubby. The new blue-eyed chocolate lab rounded out the fairy tale family image. Besides, moving from a four-bedroom loft to a twelve by nine, second-floor bedroom was not in her game plan. Oh, but she had a plan. Admittedly, one that floated around in her head, along with a million other renegade thoughts that competed for her attention which accounted for the frequent jack hammer-like headaches.
Her stomach growled. She hadn't eaten in three days and knew from past experience that if she didn't stick to a rigid eat or die maintenance schedule, she'd starve. Literally. Unlike the past, however, when she had little to live for, motherhood proffered a previously nonexistent frame of reference. Rather than wallow in what she might have, at one point, labeled a life no longer worth living, Aiden's soft sweet, "Love you Mommy. You love me back?" was more than enough to remind her that she had no choice but to eat. She couldn't leave him too long with her sister. He was her lifeline.
Shelly suddenly realized her rebellious ruminations had dominated her thoughts, leaving her clueless as to how far she had driven since leaving Lexington. She couldn't remember the last road sign she'd seen and had no idea how soon or where she might find the next exit. She'd planned to make the less than three-hour drive without stopping.
Missing the Stars: Chandler County Page 21