It couldn’t be a bigger pile of shit if a horse popped into the middle of this meeting.
“All right. I have thought it over and think Kyle and Oliver are the last two to round out that team.” Novak scribbles some more, not bothering to look up and confirm that the other coaches thought they were a good fit as well.
I wasn’t going to argue with him; if I had to pick a team right now, that would be it. But this didn’t sit right with me. What if a frontrunner came out at Trials and blew the competition away. Placed first all around and won the support of the audience and viewers at home. Were they not going to take him to Rio?
“Okay, next, the ladies.” Novak took out another sheet, and I knew at once this would not go as smoothly.
Melinda speaks in a hurry, eager to be praised by Novak but also to shout her opinion out. “Anna is a definite. She has it all, but her vault alone will win us gold. And Grace! She’s new; she’s the girl every young gymnast wants to be. She brings us star factor.”
Novak nods. “Yes, yes to both. I like Quinn as well, her beam and bar skills are strong.”
“And Julia as well. She doesn’t have the problem Peyton had. She may be old, but she is keeping her weight down and she hasn’t let up one bit. She will be our veteran in the mix, the older girl who the public will portray as the mommy figure.” Novak nods his own head, agreeing with every word coming out of his mouth.
The guy would eat his own shit if he thought it didn’t stink. Which he probably didn’t.
The room goes quiet, everyone pondering who the last spot on the team should go to. Novak peers around, a curious expression on his face. He might be fooling others, but he’s not fooling me. He’s been waiting for someone to bring her up, to challenge him on a gymnast that he has deemed unfit, too high-maintenance.
Natalia.
See, he doesn’t like her because he can’t mold her. She beats to her own drum. And normally, in a normal day, in a normal year … even with her attitude, Novak couldn’t touch her. She’s unstoppable, unbeatable. He could never deny that.
But this fear with her beam dismount has left her vulnerable. He probably salivates over the fact that she gave him a weak spot, and Novak will use that and exploit it to achieve a favorable outcome.
I didn’t want to have to bring her name up. What we’re doing — sneaking around with her private lessons, and our private fucking — is already risky enough. I can’t tie myself to her in anyway, can’t stand up for her and give her a fighting chance without some heads turning my way. I’m a men’s coach, there is no way I’d have spent any more time with Nat than any of the other female gymnasts.
If only someone would have told my dumb mouth that.
“What about Natalia Grekov?” I hear myself say before I even realize the words are coming out.
Novak raises an eyebrow in my direction and grins ever so slightly. He knows he’s about to do battle over Nat, and he’s damn happy about it. “What about her?”
I sigh, ticking things off my fingers. “Natalia shot up in the ranks the second she went elite. Made the junior Olympic team, and then the national team. She’s been the World Champion in all-around the last two years running. She has some of the most difficult routines, in overall skills and artistic ability. The public adores her, worships her. More kids probably have her poster on their wall than any other elite gymnast on the circuit right now.”
Novak speaks up. “What do you care so much about Natalia, anyway? How you know so much?”
My heart thumped in my chest. Fuck, I’d all but cornered myself. A trickle of sweat runs down my back as I thought of the excuse I’d give.
“Everyone in the world knows her stats. And I’m a gymnastics coach, it’s my job to know that. I just think it’s unfair that her name wouldn’t land at the top of that list.”
Melinda and Novak look at each other, but I think it’s more in agreement of their mutual dislike of Nat than of my suspiciously taking up for her.
“There is this business at the mock meet with her beam dismount. What is that about?” Melinda looks proud of herself for pointing out a flaw.
Fucking Melinda.
But then Rourke joins the conversation. “Her vaults are better than any I’ve seen, maybe even Anna’s. Spence is right, she is the real deal. She’s had Olympic gold written on her since she was born. I mean, come on, look at her parents. They brought her over from Poland for the sole fact of making her a better gymnast.”
Fucking Rourke! He all but goddamn speared Novak with his own Polish guilt. I’d almost forgotten that point. Nat’s parents had been part of the European system right along with Anka and Novak. They’d grown up in the same damn town, knew how hard life could be over there. Leaving Nat out would not only hurt Novak’s Polish identity, not that I thought he valued his home country in the slightest, but it would also taint him to the media. Especially here.
Imagine that headline, Filipek Cuts Only Polish Gymnast from Olympic Team. The press would have a field day.
I think Novak’s face might explode as he directs a glare over at Rourke. I toss him a nod, thanking him for sticking up for Nat as well.
“Fine. She goes on the list for now. But, final decision on Natalia will be made at Trials.” Novak scribbles angrily on his paper.
Great, so someone is going to get a shot of making the Olympic team at Trials. Too bad it’s not fair or regulated at all.
“Okay, meeting dismissed. I want to see your coaching and training plans on my desk by end of the week.” Novak waves a finger at us, communicating with his body language that we best not forget that.
Why they needed paperwork on our strategies was beside me. It’s not like they ran anything around here with one ounce of transparency.
“My ass doesn’t feel too stretched. How about yours?” Rourke massages his cheeks as he stands, crumpling the agenda we were handed on the way in and shooting it into the trashcan farther down the wall.
I look back at my own ass. “I think my hole is a little bigger than yours today.”
“Yeah, what’s with you sticking up for a female gymnast. What was that about?”
Rourke is kind of like a cool, older uncle. A single dad with a more laid-back attitude than me, we’ve become close over the last two years since he landed the vaulting job at Filipek’s.
I shrug, trying to play it off. “I’m just tired of everything around here being rigged. I don’t know what hard-on Novak has about Natalia, but it’s bullshit. She’s the best one here and they know it.”
Rourke nods as we walk out. “Ain’t that the truth.”
As I cross the campus, the light from the slowly setting sun casting rays over the perfectly manicured grass, I can’t help but wonder why I took up for Nat back there either.
Sure, she’s a great gymnast, anyone would be stupid as fuck not to realize that. But so is almost every other gymnast here. They’re elite, the best of the best. Any of them are good enough to make the Olympic team; picking five out of the dozens is like selecting the donuts in the bunch with extra frosting.
And sure, she’s a great fuck. I mean, spectacular. Nat is sexy but also innocent, not afraid to let me know what she wants, but still submissive and naïve enough to lay back and let me take her to where she needs to go.
But, there is something more niggling at me, a pressure in my chest that wouldn’t let up until I threw her name out in that coach’s meeting. More and more, I’m finding that I actually like her. As a person.
Maybe it’s because we were technically friends before we started touching each other below the waist. Even if it was a short period of time, I got to know her, actually talk to her and form a bond before she let me put my tongue in her pussy.
It hits me that I’ve never been friends with any girl I’ve slept with before. And that is scary. Not only because it makes me sound like a dog, a scoundrel, but because I’ve allowed myself to do it with Nat.
And I have no idea what that looks like. Or how it turns out
.
Twenty
Spencer
The ball flies over the net and I hear Jared smash his paddle into the table.
“Fuck!” He curses himself.
“Beat you again, motherfucker!”
“Wasn’t the game supposed to be to twenty-one? I think that’s only nineteen.” Duke looks up from his phone, the one that has zapped all of his attention for the last two weeks.
“Whatever, I don’t want to play with Spence anymore anyway, he always does that thing where he flashes me his ball sack or something in the middle of a round.” Jared throws his ping-pong paddle on the table. “Besides, I wish we could play an actual sport.
I grab my balls, motioning at him like a jackass. “Sorry you can’t take these nuts. And it’s not my fault you are all pansies. Psh, gymnasts, man.”
Feigning annoyance, I flop into one of the armchairs in the common recreation room. The one luxury Novak provides for the athletes here is a game room, complete with a ping-pong and pool table. Or, as we all know, the only two sports we are allowed to compete in besides gymnastics. There is an unspoken rule among elite gymnasts; there is no other sport besides gymnastics. You can’t play basketball, no baseball, no running for a down in football. Not only could those other sports cause grave injuries, even when we’re only having fun, but Filipek and his minions would have you cut from the Olympic team for even walking onto another court or field. It’s dangerous and irresponsible, and shows no concern for the sport we’re busting our asses for.
So, Jared and Duke have to stick with ping-pong, pool and video games. And I enjoy beating their asses every single time.
Duke snickers, his nose still buried in his phone.
“Why are you constantly on that thing these days, man? It’s like fucking attached to your fingers.” Jared swipes at Duke’s screen, causing his apps to change and keyboard to type.
“Yo! Chill with that, asshole. You don’t touch another man’s phone.” Duke pulls it close to him.
A laugh explodes from my chest. “Is that like that other rule? Never look at another guy’s junk if he’s peeing next to you in the urinal?”
“Dude, that is so fucking weird. One time I saw this guy checking out my junk, and I just winked at him. I know my dick is pretty.” Duke informs us of this little fact and goes back to his phone.
Jared sighs. “Okay seriously, what the hell are you doing on there?”
With Duke distracted, I jump in. “He’s probably saving pics of naked chicks or something. What’s that one website that women love to save porn GIFs from?”
The word porn must have caught the attention of Duke. “Tumblr, man. That shit is hot. Anyways, I’m talking to this girl on Tinder.”
“You’re still on that thing?” Jared hops up, starting a round of pool by himself. “Isn’t that just to hookup, meet up, and get fucked?”
“Basically,” Duke shrugs, “But this chick is different. She’s funny as fuck.”
I stick my face next to his, trying to get a look at her. “Show me her pictures.”
Duke pulls his phone away. “So … here’s the thing. All of her pictures are like cartoon characters. There are none of her. I’ve been trying to get her to send me a real picture for a week, but she won’t. But come on, I mean a girl this funny has got to be hot as fuck.”
“Hot girls aren’t always funny. Actually, those are kind of like unicorns now that I think about it. You can find a hot girl always, they’re a dime a dozen. But a hot girl that is also funny … that is rare.” Jared breaks the triangle of pool balls and begins moving around the table.
He’s right of course. I’ve been with plenty of girls who were a ten or more, and some of them couldn’t even count to ten. There were only a handful of girls I’d slept with, flirted with, whatever … who could hold a conversation or make me laugh.
Only one of them had ever held my interest for more than a night. Nat’s face pops into my brain, much like it had been doing for weeks now. Anytime the guys talked about sex or girls, which was literally every five seconds, my mind would wander to her.
She was hot, but it was more than that. I didn’t usually notice the way a woman’s face lit up when she smiled, or how her hair smelled. I didn’t usually recognize the little ticks in a woman’s face, the ones she showed when she was content or just a little bit upset. I didn’t usually notice the flecks of indigo in a woman’s blue eyes, or the way she pursed her full lips when she was thinking.
But with Nat, I notice it all.
And she’s funny. Her sarcasm and wit keep me coming back for more, our verbal sparring is just as good as our physical connection. And that physical connection, fuck it was good.
Things with Nat had started casually, just for fun, a little cat and mouse game. I thought that when I landed her, when I caught her tail, I’d be satisfied. That we’d fuck once, or maybe a few times, and I’d get bored.
I didn’t expect that I’d want more. That I’d think about her all the time. That she’d keep me on the edge of my seat.
Duke’s deep voice breaks my thoughts about Nat. “Dude … what is that?”
He points to a spot on my neck, and my hand flies up to feel it, but all I feel is skin. “What is what?”
He flips his camera app open on his phone and holds it up to me like a mirror. “That.”
In the camera I can make out a purplish blue bruise on the side of my neck. I touch it, but it’s not sore or painful. “I don’t know …”
Jared looks up from his pool game. “Bro, that looks like a hickey.”
My mind flashes back to yesterday morning when Nat was silencing herself by using my neck as a ball-gag, and I grin.
“DUDE! That is a hickey! Look at your face.” Jared points at me.
“Who is it from?” Duke shoves his face in for a closer look.
I waver, considering whether I should fill them in on what has been going on with Nat. I trust them, they’re two of my best friends, they wouldn’t tell anyone. But on the other hand, dread fills a tiny part of me. Talking to someone about it makes it real. She’s here, I’m here … they will know us. They will see us. And even if no one else knows, in two people’s minds, we exist as a couple. I’m not even sure if we exist as a couple in my mind or Nat’s minds.
But maybe I want us to. So for the second time in twenty-four hours, something comes out of my mouth that I don’t think about beforehand.
“Natalia Grekov.”
I let her name hang in the air for a few seconds. And then their rushing me and shouting.
“What?!”
“The hot blonde Polish girl!?”
“Spence, she’s hot as fuck!”
I hold up my hands to stop their onslaught. “I know, I know. But you can’t tell anyone. I have no idea what we’re doing, what this is.”
Duke fist bumps me. “So the sex is …?”
He and Jared look at me expectantly, with that glow in their eyes that guys get when they talk about dick in pussy. “Fucking awesome.”
They both hoot out laughter.
“Is she your girlfriend? Wait, I thought you didn’t do girlfriends?” Duke asks.
I didn’t know how to answer that. “I don’t know, man. We haven’t talked about feelings and shit.
Jared’s expression fills with apprehension. “Just be careful, man. I know what it’s like to date a fellow gymnast. Or well, be with one. When things end, if they end, they tend to blow up in your face. This is a small community.”
I knew Jared had been burned in the past. But that wasn’t Nat and I. This was new, shiny and good. We hadn’t even talked about things yet. There was no way two people like us could end badly, if this even did end.
Right?
Twenty-One
Natalia
Ryan and Marissa end their fight on my television screen just as Chris Brown’s “Forever” chirps from my cellphone. I reach for it, my stomach muscles stretching over the sheets and comforter on my bed.
Peyton
’s picture and name flash across the screen and my heart makes a bittersweet thump, happy that she’s calling but sad about what this conversation will hold. I flop onto my back as I swipe the screen and pick up the call.
“It’s about time you answered one of my many attempts.” I grin into the phone as a sigh comes through the other end.
“You had to give me time to be a sulking bitch for a week or two. After all, my dreams were just crushed.” Peyton puts on a strong front, but I can hear the wobble in her voice.
I kick my leg up and stretch it to my shoulder, practically in a full split on my back. “How are you holding up?”
Another exhale right into my ear. “Not great, but better than I was. I just can’t believe it, Nat. I can’t believe I’m not there, that I won’t be competing in Rio. This was my dream, be a two-time Olympic champion. And now it’s gone. It’s like I’m missing a limb or something.”
My heart aches for her. “I know, this fucking sucks. And it’s really unfair. But you have to realize that you already achieved what so many gymnasts don’t even get to experience. You made it to the Olympics. You stood on that podium with a medal in your hand. No one can ever take that away from you. Yes, it sucks major balls that you won’t be up there again, but look at your life. You made it to the ultimate winner’s circle in the world of gymnastics. Not many people can say that.”
There is a pause, a silence, and I think she might be crying but I can’t tell. I wish I could hug her. “I know. You’re right. It’s just not fair. I tried so hard to get ready, to be prepared. And even killing myself in practice every day wasn’t enough. My body isn’t the same as it was four years ago. I don’t feel as strong or as flexible. And I guess, in the end, that was my downfall. Old age. What a crock of shit. You never think it’s going to happen to you until you’re sitting on a runway in New Jersey being flown home to a normal life. Whatever that is.”
Blind Landing (Flipped #1) Page 11