“Well, actually . . .” Elliot’s smile faded and he was suddenly nervous again. “That’s sort of why I came over to talk to you.”
“Because . . .” Leslie couldn’t see the connection.
“I have no idea why, but my uncle invited us both.”
CHAPTER 2
In which the professor reveals “where the magic happens”
From the street, the headquarters of DENKi-3000 looked like four uneven buildings. The impression that they were separate, however, was an illusion. The bases of the four towers swept down to join a single ring-shaped building that formed the perimeter of the company grounds.
Seen from above, the offices resembled an enormous circular compass, with the four cardinal points rising from its edge. The north tower was the tallest. With the addition of a slender white radio antenna sprouting from its roof, it soared above the rest.
When Elliot and Leslie went through the revolving doors at the entrance, glowing letters appeared on the glass, almost as if by magic:
Welcome to DENKi-3000
Inventors of the wireless breath mint!
Leslie gazed around wide-eyed as they came through the doors into the glittering glass lobby. “Wireless breath mints? They invented those?”
“That was my uncle’s team! His department was the first to discover information had flavor. It meant you could download freshness direct from the web.”
Elliot’s uncle was waiting for them at the security desk.
“Elliot, hello!” he greeted his nephew, a broad smile on his face. “So glad you’re finally getting your tour!” He turned his attention to Leslie. “And so glad you could bring your friend along.”
“You two know each other?” Elliot asked.
“I know Leslie’s grandfather, the very famous Famous Freddy.”
“Is he really that famous?” asked Elliot.
“Around here he is,” said his uncle. “Isn’t that right, Leslie?”
“I guess. You guys certainly order a lot of his food.”
Leslie thought Professor von Doppler was surprisingly handsome—at least for the uncle of a dorky kid in a green fishing vest. On the other hand, there was something very Elliot-like about him. He was tall and thin, his lanky limbs swathed in a rumpled lab coat. On his head was a shock of wild brown hair that swept up and away from sharp, determined features.
“Pleased to meet you, Professor.” Leslie put out her arm and the two of them shook hands.
Elliot’s uncle asked the security guard at the desk for two visitor’s badges. “As long as you have these in your pocket,” he said, handing them the identification, “you can come and visit me whenever you like.” He glanced at the security guard. “Isn’t that right, Carl?”
Carl, the security guard behind the desk, was a plump, jolly-faced man with a quick smile that was all dimples. “Of course,” he said. He turned to Leslie. “If it wasn’t for Professor von Doppler and his R&D guys, I doubt DENKi-3000 would exist at all.”
“Carl is the company’s head of security,” Elliot’s uncle explained, “but he still comes out here to work the front desk.”
Carl shrugged. “I’ve always been a hands-on kind of guy.”
“I could say the same thing about myself,” the professor agreed.
Carl chuckled, beaming another one of his bright smiles. “I suppose that’s why, even though we’re in pretty different lines of work, we still get along so well.”
Elliot’s uncle nodded thoughtfully. “Maybe so.” He turned to Leslie and Elliot. “Now then, I’ll bet you two are anxious to see the sights. Let’s go.” He turned and led them out of the huge lobby.
Leslie grabbed hold of Elliot’s arm and whispered, “I can’t believe how cool your uncle is!”
Elliot smiled. He wasn’t accustomed to being associated with “cool” things.
His uncle led them down a long, curving hallway. It was the inner corridor of the circular building that formed the base of DENKi-3000 headquarters. The glass wall looked in on a huge courtyard, full of pathways and gardens.
Elliot’s uncle stopped. “Here we are.”
“Here we are—where?” asked Elliot. They were standing in the middle of the empty corridor, seemingly with nowhere to go.
“Right here.”
Professor von Doppler stepped closer to the glass wall, and sensing his presence, it split into two separate sections, which floated apart as if by magic.
Elliot gasped. “I never would’ve known that was there.”
His uncle winked at him. “Keep an eye out. This place is full of surprises—and I don’t mean only the doorways.” He stepped outside into the open air. “My department’s on the far side of the courtyard.”
Glass and steel towers rose up high above them, all connected by shimmering skywalks. Inside each one, important-looking men and women hovered up and down on escalators tilted at all angles.
“This place. Is. Incredible,” Leslie breathed. And it was: DENKi-3000 was everything she imagined it would be. Gleaming. Futuristic. Amazing!
Similar thoughts were filling Elliot’s head. But they were overshadowed by another: Why why why did my uncle wait so long to invite me?!
It wasn’t just the glittering towers above them that were impressive; it was also the courtyard itself. It resembled a fairy-tale labyrinth. Cobblestone paths wove around fountains and huge topiary sculptures of dragons and rocket ships.
“Amazing!” Leslie cried.
They came around a towering hedge trimmed into the shape of an elephant bathing itself and were faced by a building completely different from everything else. It was so different, neither Elliot nor Leslie noticed it—at least not at first. They were both too busy gaping up at the glass and steel above them.
“This way,” said Professor von Doppler, drifting toward the anomalous building. “This is my department.”
Elliot and Leslie lowered their eyes and saw it: a rambling, crumbling, lopsided mansion that bristled with eaves and gables, pillars and porches, turrets and towers. The walls were built from faded red and orange brick, while the cracked gutters and shingles were a pale green color, like aging moss.
Anywhere else, it would have been the largest, most interesting building on the block. But here, compared with the rest of DENKi-3000, it looked like the company’s toolshed.
“Are you kidding?” said Leslie, realizing where Elliot’s uncle was leading them. “It looks like a haunted house.”
“Is that really where you work?” Elliot asked, a bit disappointed.
“Of course,” said his uncle. “Just look at the sign.”
Elliot stared at the words in disbelief:
DENKi-3000
RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT
“Why is it so old?”
“Not just old,” said Professor von Doppler, “the oldest building in the entire company.”
“You’d think they could fix it up a little bit,” said Leslie.
“Even if the CEO, Sir William himself, wanted to give this place a makeover, he couldn’t change a single brick. It says so in the original DENKi-3000 charter, written when the company was founded: No one can ever alter the Research and Development Department. In fact, the only person who’s allowed in and out is the acting chief of R&D—meaning yours truly.” The professor took a small bow.
“What about us?” asked Elliot.
His uncle laughed. “Don’t worry, you’re my guests.” He turned toward the building. “Shall we begin the tour?”
“I guess,” said Elliot, his eyes scanning the front of the building. “Except for one thing . . .”
Leslie saw it too. “There’s no door.”
It was true. Everything about the mansion looked normal, everything was in place—the windows, the pillars, the veranda, the gables—but there were no doors. The building had no ent
rance.
Again, the professor chuckled, leading them up the steps to what appeared to be a solid brick wall. “As I just explained, the one person allowed to come and go”—he approached the wall and, just like the glass in the corridor, the bricks creaked magically open—“is me.”
“Amazing!” Leslie whispered.
Stepping through the doors was like falling backward through a time warp. Lying heavily over everything was the musty, dried-out smell of age. Even so, the interior of the old mansion wasn’t as dilapidated as it appeared from the outside.
Every surface in the large foyer was hewn from warm, brightly polished wood. The high ceilings were hung with chandeliers that cast flickering light on the walls, over the mantels, and across carpets woven with flowery, interlocking patterns. The inside of the mansion was luxurious, but it was a faded, outmoded luxury. It was like a gorgeous old car just beginning to rust.
“I don’t get it,” said Elliot. “I mean, it looks nice and everything, but it’s just a big old house. Where’s all the science? All the inventions? All the, y’know—research and development?”
The professor frowned. He seemed disappointed he hadn’t impressed his nephew. “Perhaps I’d better show you my office,” he said hopefully, leading them deeper into the house.
They arrived at a door labeled with a brass plaque:
Professor Archimedes von Doppler
Chief of Research and Development
Elliot expected to see something new in his uncle’s office—a large, modern room with banks of flashing computers or tables packed with prototypes for strange inventions—but when the professor opened the door, what greeted them was a small, drab office with a cramped desk and a few wooden cabinets.
Elliot’s uncle sat down behind the desk and spread his arms. “And this,” he said, “is where the magic happens.”
Elliot and Leslie looked at each other.
“I don’t get it,” said Leslie. She was glaring at the carpet, her eyes darting back and forth, as if she were trying to figure something out. “It doesn’t make sense.”
Elliot agreed. “It’s a huge old house, but it’s empty. You’re the only one here.”
“Are you sure about that?” There was an odd twinkle in his uncle’s eye. “The tour isn’t over yet, you know.”
“Oh, I get it,” said Elliot. “There’re more secret doors—and secret passages—like the one that got us in here.” He moved around his uncle’s desk to a simple wooden filing cabinet. “I’ll bet there’s one right behind here. . . .”
Elliot’s uncle jumped up from his chair. “Don’t touch that!”
Elliot froze and backed away from the cabinet.
“Thank you.” His uncle smoothed his lab coat and sank back into his chair. “I understand you’re very curious, but you have to be patient. There’re a few things I want to explain before we go any further. After all, a private tour of the DENKi-3000 Research and Development Department isn’t something that happens every day.”
“You’re telling me,” said Elliot.
“Ahem. As I was saying, my decision to give you both a tour today is no coincidence. DENKi-3000 is in trouble and we need to take steps to—”
“Elliot’s right,” said Leslie. She was still staring at the carpet, still looking confused. “There has to be more to this place.”
“If you’ll just give me a moment to finish, I’ll be able to—”
“It’s impossible!” Leslie cut in. She was scrutinizing the professor, particularly his stomach.
Elliot had the distinct impression she was talking about something only she understood.
“What do you mean, impossible?” The professor squinted at her.
“It can’t just be you in here,” Leslie answered. “Look at you. You’re a stick man! There’s no way you could eat all that food!”
Now Elliot was even more confused than before. “What are you talking about?”
“The deliveries!” said Leslie. “Remember I told you about my grandpa, Famous Freddy, from Famous Freddy Fang’s Dim Sum Emporium?”
“The chef.”
“Yes! He makes big deliveries here—huge deliveries—almost every day. If it wasn’t for the Research and Development Department at DENKi-3000, we’d be completely out of business.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you,” said Elliot’s uncle. “The reason I brought you here is—”
“Now I remember!” Leslie snapped her fingers. She leaned across the professor’s desk, a deeply inquisitive look on her face. “Tell me, Professor von Doppler, what exactly are you keeping behind that door at the end of the hall?”
The professor’s face froze. “What?”
“Second-to-last door on the left, I believe.”
“Wait. How do you know about that?”
“Famous Freddy told me.”
“Do you seriously call him that?” asked Elliot.
Leslie shrugged. “Sometimes.”
“Let her finish,” said the professor.
“One time we were cooking up all these crates of food and I just couldn’t believe it was all for a single order. My grandpa said, ‘Oh, sure! You’d never believe what they have in that weird old place at DENKi-3000.’ By ‘weird old place,’ he obviously meant this weird old place.” She glanced around the professor’s office. “‘It’s all behind that door at the end of the hall,’ he said, ‘Second to last on the left.’”
The professor frowned. “Wonderful. So he completely ruined the surprise.”
“What surprise?” asked Elliot. “Could someone please tell me what we’re talking about?”
His uncle, however, was too busy stroking his chin thoughtfully. “I think I’ll have to have a little chat with the very famous Famous Freddy. He swore he’d never tell anyone the secret of the Research and Development Department.”
“What secret?” asked Elliot.
“He didn’t tell anyone else, did he?” Suddenly, the professor looked very worried. “Who knows what could happen if word got out.”
Leslie shook her head. “I don’t think so. It’s just that sometimes, when he’s working in the kitchen, my grandpa drinks a little too much cooking wine and then he says all sorts of weird stuff, but most of it’s nonsense. The only thing he told me about this place is that I’d never believe what’s behind the second-to-last door on the left.”
“Hm . . .” The professor was still stroking his chin. “So perhaps he didn’t ruin the surprise after all.”
Elliot stomped his foot on the carpet. “WHAT SURPRISE?!”
Finally, his uncle looked at him.
“Maybe it’s best if I simply show you.” The professor opened a drawer and took out an enormous key ring, jiggling with a hundred keys of different shapes and sizes.
They left the professor’s office in silence, and he led them down the corridor to the second-to-last door on the left. Two faint letters were embossed on its brass plaque:
CD
The professor chose the correct key, a small one with a sparkling green emerald on the handle. With one slow revolution, he freed the dead bolt and pushed open the door.
“In here,” he whispered, “is where the magic really happens.”
CHAPTER 3
In which Jean-Remy sees doomed love where there isn’t any and Gügor demonstrates the fine art of rickum ruckery
The door opened onto a huge room filled with banks of flashing computers and a sea of laboratory tables. Each one was topped with the strangest of things: elaborate chemistry sets that fizzled and popped with colorful fluids; whirring machinery that reminded Elliot of the most complicated clocks—only ticking much faster than time itself; screens like old, half-assembled televisions, broadcasting images that seemed to come from another world.
This is more like it. That was Elliot’s first thought. This
was just sort of scene he expected to see in a Research and Development Department.
But it wasn’t the room that stunned Elliot and Leslie the most. It was the people.
Except that they weren’t people. They were . . .
Creatures.
Stooped, troll-like creatures with jutting jaws and broken teeth. Tiny winged things, part insect, part pixie, that sparkled as they flew. Huge, hulking, hairy un-humans (with horns). Creatures with too many heads, too many arms, too many tails, or just the right number of tentacles.
There were things that looked like dragons, ogres, gremlins, and—well, things that defied comparison with any storybook beast. Strange, outlandish creatures who pondered down at their strange, outlandish contraptions and strange, outlandish experiments (often through comically tiny spectacles).
“Welcome,” said Elliot’s uncle, “to the Creature Department.”
Leslie and Elliot were too shocked to respond. They could only stand and stare as the activity subsided and, very slowly, every strange, otherworldly eye in the room swiveled to face them.
“Everyone,” Professor von Doppler announced. “This is my nephew, Elliot, and his friend, Leslie. They’re the ones I told you about!”
There was a variety of reactions. Some of the creatures smiled sheepishly and waved. Others narrowed their eyes suspiciously. Many of them took very little notice at all.
“Is it just me?” asked Leslie. “Or does this laboratory seem . . . I don’t know . . . a bit too big?” She looked behind them, out into the corridor that led back toward the entrance.
Elliot agreed. The laboratory was the size of a massive warehouse, big enough to stretch out to the street (or even past it). “I was thinking the same thing. This one room is bigger than the whole mansion. I think. How is that—”
“Possible?” asked his uncle. “Simple. This old place was built by creature architects, using creature physics. It’s quite different from the math we humans use, so the building has quite a few, let’s say, unusual features. Laboratories that are bigger on the inside than the outside, for instance. But don’t worry, once you get to know the place, it won’t seem so topsy-turvy.”
The Creature Department Page 2