"Need some help?" he asks as I stand there trying to figure out the best way to do this. My dad has a truck but we only use it on the farm and I don't wear dresses when I'm at the farm.
"I can do it." I go to lift my leg up but find that I can't with this dress on. It's really short and if I lift my leg up that high I'll probably rip the fabric along with exposing myself. Why did I wear this dress? I know why. I wore it because it's unusually hot out today and the dress is lightweight and cool and I thought I'd be riding in the back of my parents' Prius, not a huge pickup truck.
I stand with my hands on my hips, biting my lip as I assess what to do. But before I can make a decision, two large hands reach around my waist and lift me straight up and into the truck, setting me on the seat.
"Silas!" I turn and see his face right in front of me.
He smiles that easy-going smile. "I couldn't wait all day for you to get in the truck." He reaches up and grabs the seatbelt and pulls it down around me, his hand grazing my hip as he clicks it in place. "Safety first." He smiles again, then shuts the door.
I watch him go around the front of the truck. Something about him is different. He seems bolder. More assertive. The old Silas would just offer to help me in the truck, not pick me up and put me there. And the old Silas wouldn't have openly run his eyes over my body when he saw me in this dress. He would've snuck a peek when I wasn't looking.
He's 20 now so maybe he's changing. Growing up. Maybe it's not just his body that's more manly but also his personality. He's been on his own the past two years, traveling the world, which I'm sure has matured him.
"Why are you wearing a dress?" he asks as he pulls out onto the road that leads away from campus. "Doesn't seem like something you'd wear on moving day."
"All my other clothes were packed. I found this in the back of my drawer. I forgot I had it."
"I like it." He flashes a smile my way. "You should wear it again sometime."
Why is he being so flirty? He knows we're not getting back together. Maybe this is just the new Silas. Maybe he flirts all the time, with all girls, not just me. I wonder how many girls he's been with since we broke up. He never had a hard time getting girls. Those eyes and that smile were enough to attract them without him even having to try.
And then that hair. He's got the best hair. I'm jealous of his hair. It's dark brown and wavy yet somehow never frizzes, not even on a rainy day. He doesn't even use any product in it. It's just naturally soft, shiny, and annoyingly sexy. It's long for a guy, hanging just below his jawline.
With that hair, that smile, those eyes and those rock-hard muscles? I'm sure he's been with tons of girls the past couple years.
As for me, I've been with six guys, including Silas. I'm only 19 so some might say that's a lot, but I don't agree. If I were a guy, people would think six is low. I don't know why girls have to be limited to a certain number, or be called sluts for going above that number. I'm a modern woman and refuse to be held to those standards.
My liberal, hippie parents never tried to keep me from having sex. Well, my dad didn't want me to do it, but he knew it would happen. He just hoped it would be with a guy who cared about me, which he told me during one of the many embarrassing conversations my parents had with me about sex. They've always been very open about the topic. They even left condoms in my room when I was fifteen. I didn't use them until I was sixteen. With Silas. He was my first. They say you'll always remember your first time. It's true. I'll never forget that night. And I've never forgotten Silas. But Lord knows I've tried. I've spent the last two years trying to forget about him, and now here I am, sitting right next to him.
"How's college?" he asks.
We've been driving in silence for the past half hour. Silas isn't much of a talker. I guess that's not really true. It's just that compared to me, who talks a lot, it seems like Silas doesn't talk much. But I've been unusually quiet since he showed up because I've been too shocked to speak. I still can't believe he's here.
"It's great," I say. "I like the campus. I like my classes. The professors are good."
I'd normally talk for hours about each one of those things, but right now my mind isn't on school. It's on Silas and how I'm going to survive the summer with him being around me every day.
"That's it?" He glances over at me. "I thought that one question would keep you talking until we got home."
"I guess I'm just tired." I shiver from the cold air blowing on me.
Silas notices and turns it off. "So what else is new? I haven't talked to you forever."
"It's only been two years," I say softly, now regretting it's been so long. It's my fault we haven't talked. Silas called me every day after he left, but I wouldn't answer. I couldn't. It was too hard to hear his voice. Eventually, his calls dwindled to once a week, and I still wouldn't answer. Then it got down to just one call a month, and again, I didn't answer.
"Two years is a long time." His gaze is on the road ahead of us, his hand wrapped around the steering wheel, his thumb lightly tapping it. "Friends shouldn't go two years without talking."
Silas and I were more than friends. So much more. Which is why I couldn't answer his calls.
I pull my seatbelt out enough for me to turn toward him. "Silas, I'm sorry for not returning your calls."
He shrugs his shoulder. "Forget it. It's the past."
"It's not the past. You called just a few weeks ago and...I should've answered."
"So why didn't you?" His thumb continues to tap the steering wheel as his eyes briefly check the side mirror.
"I um..." This is hard to explain. And I don't want to. Telling him why I didn't answer his calls would mean telling him the truth, and I can't do that. It would only lead to us both getting hurt. Again. "I just didn't think it was a good idea...since we're not together anymore."
It's partially true. I knew talking to him would be way too hard, at least for me. I was trying to move on. Trying to get over him. But even without answering his calls, I'm still not over him.
The truth—the real reason I didn't talk to him—is that I still love him. It's been two years since we broke up, but I still love Silas.
***
Want to keep reading? Still Love You is available now!
***
Books by Allie Everhart
The Jade Series
(New Adult Romance/Suspense)
Choosing You
Knowing You
Loving You
Promising You
Forever You
Finding Us
Becoming Us
Always Us
Garret: A Jade Series Companion Novel
The Kensington Series
(Romantic Suspense)
Needing Her
Keeping Her
Protecting Her
Only Her
Lilly: A Kensington Family Novel
Lilly and Reed: A Kensington Family Novel
Standalone Novels
Next to Me
Give Us a Chance
Can't Let You Go
More to Us
Still Love You
Holding On
One Night
One Night Page 30