by Emrys Apollo
Merlin sighed and stared at the fire, tears gathering in his eyes. "She made a move to hit me, but Tristan intercepted it. My emotions were so high that I probably would have drained her in an instant without thinking. Sometimes I can still hear her screaming at me." He brought his hands up to his ears to cover them.
Lance tried to put his arm around Merlin's body to comfort him, but the mage moved away.
Merlin stood up and coughed into his gloved hand. "I think that's enough for tonight. I'm tired."
Tristan nodded and got up to prepare the sleeping gear.
Hector patted Lance on the arm. "Sleep well, Lance."
Lance sighed at the empty campfire.
***
Lance shivered and pulled the blanket tighter to his body on the hard ground. Muffled moans stopped his movement. He raised his head up to spot Merlin rolling around on the ground, shivering in the thin blanket wrapped around him.
Soft pleas escaped Merlin's parted lips, words that Lance had to struggle to hear.
Lance sighed and got up from the ground to lie next to Merlin's body. He took care not to touch any bare skin of the mage, knowing that one false move could drain his energy in an instant. His arm wrapped around Merlin's waist, warming the mage's body and silencing his moans.
Merlin's body let out a sigh and fell back into a deep sleep.
Lance let out the trapped breath in his chest and closed his eyes.
***
Merlin woke up with a start. His hands blindly patted against the object holding him. Eyelids fluttered open and looked down.
There around his waist was Lance’s arm, and the rise and fall of Lance’s chest vibrated against Merlin's back.
Merlin bit his lip and willed his body to behave. Warmth washed across his skin, lust racing through his veins.
He wiggled out of Lance’s embrace and ran for the trees.
***
Hector stirred in his blankets. His head rose when a whoosh of air flew past him. He pushed off his blankets and jumped to his feet with his bow in hand.
Eyes scanned the area around him for any movement. He frowned when he heard loud splashing in the distance.
He shrugged and dashed through the trees to see what the disturbance was.
***
Merlin shivered and poured more cold water on his body. Handfuls of water splashed against his naked chest and groin.
He bit his lip to stop his teeth from chattering, willing his body to behave again, to stop this sinfulness.
Hector dashed out of the trees and spotted him. Blue eyes took in the colorful patterns etched into the mage's body. Most were protection symbols, but others were signs of Merlin's mastery in something. Hector marveled at the deep blue circle over Merlin's heart that was always shining brilliantly. He never knew if it just shone for him or if it appeared all of the time.
Merlin looked up and frowned, hands shaking at his sides.
Hector dropped his bow and scrambled over to the creek Merlin was standing in. "Sire, what are you doing? You'll catch a cold that way."
Merlin shivered and shook his head. "I can't stop...I need to calm myself."
Hector sighed and pulled Merlin out of the water despite his protests. "Sire, you can't stop what nature has given you. I don't think the elders meant this when they said to not give into temptation. You're not a man of the cloth and you did once have a lover."
Merlin frowned and swallowed hard. "Yes, but this is different. This isn't about a woman....it's about a....”
"A man?" Hector interrupted.
Merlin's head hung down. "I can't feel this way about him. He's my protector and nothing more."
Hector sighed and petted Merlin's head. "He's been with us for almost a week now; it's only natural to develop feelings for him. Though in your case, it's a little more complicated than that."
Merlin shivered in Hector's arms. "I can't touch him. Not that I would, I just.....Hector, I don't know what to do."
Hector helped Merlin back into his clothes, drying off his body with spare rags. "I don't know what to tell you. It's hard to stop emotions from coming out and you'll just make it worse if you ignore them."
"I know that, Hector. I just....I'm supposed to be focused on what I must do. If I get involved....not that I would...but if I get involved or develop intense feelings for him it will only hurt in the end."
Hector frowned. "For him as well. He doesn't know, does he?"
"No, he doesn't. I...for some reason I'm hesitant to tell him. Like I think he'll leave if I do."
Hector snorted. "He can't leave, not unless he dies. We're pretty much tied to you for life. Fate will pull him back if he tries."
Merlin scoffed. "I'm aware of that, but it doesn't stop me from worrying about it anyway. I'm pretty much defenseless without you four. Sure, I have my powers, but they don't last forever."
Hector handed Merlin the remaining clothing. "Then, tell him you don't want his affections. It's really the only way to stop him from getting too close."
Small hands grabbed the clothes and put them on. A frown covered Merlin's face, eyes staring into the distance.
***
Lance woke up cold and alone. He stretched his sore muscles and sat up, the heavy blankets pooling at his waist. His eyes searched around for Merlin, but no one was around. Panic ran through his body, scared that they left without him.
Tristan snorted and walked through the trees. "Relax, we're still here. Gareth went ahead to canvas the area and Hector is with the sire by the stream."
Lance nodded and got up from his makeshift bed. Hands gathered up the blankets and started to fold them into neat piles.
Tristan watched him and laughed. "Hector always bugs me to do that after I wake up, but I never remember. He ends up doing them anyway. And then I get to hear about it later."
Lance smiled and placed the last blanket on the pile. "You....um, you and Hector are close?"
Tristan sat down on a nearby stump. "You could say that. We've known each other for a while."
Long fingers playing with his shirt, Lance stared at the ground. "So you, um....have you and Hector ever...."
"Touched? Yes, we have. Many times in fact."
Lance nodded and played some more with the frayed bits of his shirt. "I see."
Tristan snorted and shook his head. "Just spit it out, Lance. There's obviously something on your mind. And I can bet it has something to do with Merlin."
Lance glanced up at Tristan and flushed. "Is it....is it that obvious?"
Tristan scoffed. "To anyone with half a brain. I can tell you this, just forget about it. He can't have a relationship with you."
Lance frowned. "Why not? I mean, unless he's not interested in that sort of thing."
Tristan stared at him. "Because he can't touch you, or have you forgotten that he drains people with his hands?"
"Yes I know that, but I mean that's only his hands. There are other ways to be....um, intimate with someone."
Tristan got up and stood in front of Lance, cold blue eyes staring down. "He can't touch anything! Not his hands, not his face, nothing. You touch any part of his skin and you'll be drained in an instant."
Lance swallowed hard and nodded. "But...but you touch him every night. Why doesn't that drain you?"
The anger sighed out of Tristan's body. "That's different, and I regulate how much I give him anyway. You can't. It's not something you can just learn overnight."
Lance looked up at him hopeful. "But you can learn it, right?"
Tristan rolled his eyes. "Yes, in about ten years’ time. You won't be here long enough for that. It's only another three months or so before we reach the Dark Lord's castle."
"Oh. I just...Tristan, I want to be with him. There's something inside that's telling me it's...um, right."
Tristan glanced over to the trees to spot Hector and Merlin standing just outside of them. "Yes well, it's not. Forget about it and forget about him."
Lance got to his feet and f
aced Tristan. "How the hell am I supposed to do that? I'm traveling with him!"
Angry blue eyes flashed at Lance. "You better lower your voice right now. I won't take any grief from you or you'll find yourself at the wrong end of a sword."
Lance reached down for his sword and faced it toward Tristan's form. "Just try it."
"Enough!" Merlin walked over and stood between the two men. "Fighting amongst yourselves is just what the Dark Lord wants. He wants me defenseless at all costs and I'm not going to let pride or jealousy ruin that."
Lance sighed and lowered his sword. "I'm sorry, Merlin."
Merlin's eyebrow rose. "Did you just call me by name?"
Lance blushed. "Oh right, they don't call you that. Um, I'm sorry, sire."
Merlin chuckled. "Do you know why they don't call me by name?"
Lance shook his head.
"To say someone's name is to invoke their presence. Some powerful mages can use that against you in incantations. They call me "sire" to avoid the Dark Lord's minions from hearing it and using it against me."
Lance bit his lip. "So the Dark Lord himself doesn't even know your name?"
Merlin shrugged. "I have no idea. Probably. I know he's been appraised that we're coming from him. He has the power to see into the future like I do, so he must have seen me approaching. Why else would he send his minions after me?"
Lance swallowed hard. "Right, I'll remember that, sire."
Merlin grinned at him. "It's odd hearing it spoken anymore. I'm just so used to "sire" after all these years. Anyway, we need to get going. We've already wasted enough time in this place."
Tristan nodded and gathered up the gear to stow away in the packs. Hector walked past Merlin and readied his cases for transport.
Merlin glanced over at Lance. "Would you have really harmed Tristan because of me?"
Lance replaced his sword into its scabbard. "Maybe. I....I guess I just was tired of him belittling me all of the time."
Merlin chuckled and patted a gloved hand on Lance’s shoulder. "He really isn't all that bad once you get to know him. He's just protective of me and you've only been with us for a short period of time. It's enough for him to be suspicious of you for now."
"So there's nothing for me to do to get him to see that I'm not useless in his eyes?"
Merlin grinned. "Yes, actually there is. Just fight alongside him. If you succeed and don't let anyone harm me, then he'll start to trust you."
Lance stared down into Merlin's eyes. "I would never let anyone harm you, not until my last dying breath."
Merlin glanced away and watched Hector and Tristan get ready to leave, a frown creeping across his face. "Let's pray it doesn't come to that."
CHAPTER TWO
Gareth scouted ahead and glanced around the trees. Lance and Merlin followed Tristan and Hector through the dense forest.
Lance sighed and looked at the trees around them.
Merlin shot him a pained look. "Bored already?"
Lance nodded. "Sorry. I just, I guess I'm used to farms and animals. Here, we're surrounded by trees and more trees."
Merlin grinned and patted Lance on the arm. "You'll get used to it. In fact, you'll welcome it once we get to the Badlands. There's nothing growing there other than dead bodies and thorny bushes."
Lance swallowed hard. "How can this not affect you? Saying it so matter of factly."
Merlin frowned. "It does affect me, I just can't let it consume me. I have to believe that I can defeat the Dark Lord. If I let myself fall into despair, he wins the fight before it's even begun."
"Is it because of what happened in your life after discovering your power?"
Merlin shrugged. "That could be, or training. You have to be hopeful, Lance. It's the only way to defeat him. If you resign yourself to defeat, he will own your soul forever. I know you don't want that."
"No, of course not. I just....how can anyone get used to this?"
Tristan snorted and looked back at Lance. "You just do. And you only get to see a few month's worth. Try doing this for almost ten years like sire and I have."
Hector broke away from Tristan and walked beside Lance. "It's hard in the beginning, thrust into something you don't understand. All of us have experienced that in the past. You just need to find something to allow you to carry on, whether it be a different frame of mind or a person."
Merlin frowned and looked away into the trees, eyes filled with sadness and confusion.
Tristan sighed and turned away from Merlin to look at Lance. "Hector's right. You need to find something to make you keep fighting. Just be careful what you choose, that it won't distract you from your task."
Lance nodded. "My thanks. I guess I just forgot how important this is."
Merlin sighed and stopped walking. "Indeed it is. And I guess I owe you the rest of our meeting story. Though, I'll need Gareth's permission to tell it. I don't want to bring up painful memories for him."
Gareth snorted, seeing them all standing around. "What is all this? Are you guys even paying attention to your surroundings?"
Lance ducked his head down. "Sorry Gareth, I distracted them."
Gareth's eyebrow rose. "With what?"
Merlin stepped forward. "Lance wants to know how we all met. Can I tell him our meeting?"
Gareth glanced away and then back at Merlin. "Yes, go ahead. I still miss my father, but the pain isn't as powerful as it was. So many years have passed since then."
Merlin nodded. "Very well, though we should probably do this while walking."
Gareth snorted. "That is a wise decision."
***
Merlin sighed and began again. "Tristan and I headed back to the mage town to tell the news. There, they told us the reports of the Dark Lord resurrecting were now true. Towns near the Badlands were being destroyed by his minions again."
Lance frowned. "But how did they get as far as your village? Isn't it a great distance away?"
Tristan chuckled and walked beside Hector again. "That's exactly what the sire asked the elders."
Merlin nodded. "Apparently the Dark Lord's minions don't all come from his domain; they live in the mountains and swamps. Waiting to be called up when he arises again."
Hector snorted. "Figures. They spend their lives just waiting for him to do something. How boring."
Merlin chuckled. "Isn't that the same thing blue mages do? We're waiting to be used, trained and trained again until we get it right."
"I guess that's true. Probably why you don't get born that often."
Merlin nodded. "Exactly. Anyway, Tristan and I set off for the Dark Lord's tower after getting provisions for the journey. We were told to head to the town Mornington so I could further my training."
Lance cocked his head to the side to walk around a tree limb. "Training? Didn't you learn all that you needed from the elders?"
Merlin shook his head. "Not that kind of training. This was more about spell casting and using items found within the forests for injuries. Tristan also learned that latter ability in case I was ever injured for whatever reason. It took almost a year of studying."
Hector snorted and turned to Tristan. "I can imagine Tristan was overjoyed during that time."
Tristan rolled his eyes at the herbalist. "Oh yes, overjoyed. I couldn't wait to get back on our journey as I feared the boredom would kill me."
Merlin chuckled. "And you think I was having fun? It took a long while to master those spells, especially the latter ones. They were meant to be learned over years of training, not in a span of months."
"True, but eventually we got out of there and on our way again. That is, until we got lost."
Merlin's eyebrow rose. "Who is telling this story? You or me?"
Tristan chuckled. "Sorry, just making sure you get to Gareth's part before nightfall."
Merlin rolled his eyes. "Keep that up Tristan and I'll drag this out for months."
Hector chuckled when Tristan's face fell. "Poor Tristan, always having to wait for
Merlin."
Lance laughed and turned away from Tristan's angry glance.
Merlin chuckled with them. "As Tristan already stated, we got lost. The elders didn't give us a map, saying that we would find it on our travels. At the time I didn't know what they meant, but now I know it was to give us experience in defeating the Dark Lord's minions."
Tristan snorted. "Yes, how thoughtful of them to do that. Half the time we avoided confrontation because we were only two men. I didn't want to get the sire hurt with any unnecessary battles."
Lance chuckled. "So you hid in the trees?"
Tristan rolled his eyes. "Don't make a joke, it's better than ending up dead before our journey began."
Merlin nodded. "Indeed it is. Eventually we ended up to the north at the base of the mountains. Snow was all around for much of the time. Tristan and I had to share blankets to keep warm."
Hector's eyebrow rose at Tristan. "And why am I now learning this?"
Tristan grinned but said nothing.
Merlin rolled his eyes and continued. "In the dark of the winter we ran into a large village. It was surrounded by large wooden towers and fences. At the time we didn't know that it was to keep their enemies out. Villages this far north were plagued more by their enemies than the Dark Lord's forces."
Gareth called over his shoulder, eyes looking forward into the trees. "Indeed. They tended to come at night, so we manned the lookout towers every nightfall for movement."
Merlin nodded and coughed into his glove. "Yes, we approached the front gate with caution as not to startle the men within."
Lance swallowed hard. "They didn't attack you, did they?"
Merlin shook his head. "No, though the gate guard gave us some grief. He refused to let us in."
Gareth chuckled. "Indeed I did. You were foreigners and not speaking in the same tongue as we did. We are always suspicious of that."
Lance glanced over at Gareth. "You were the gate guard?"
Gareth nodded. "Yes, from a long line of gate guards. My father was still one as well. In fact, it's him that let the sire in."
Lance turned to Merlin. "So that's what you were talking about earlier?"