Razor

by Heather Slade

  “I thought you might like it.”

  He kept his hand on the small of her back as they walked along the garden pathway to the entrance.

  “Did you talk to Gunner and the other guy?” Ava asked after they looked over the menu and ordered.

  Razor took a sip of his beer and nodded.

  “Can you tell me anything?”

  “No.”

  It was obvious that Ava wasn’t happy with his response, but he’d told her the truth; telling her what Gunner had come up with for her sister and friends, would be giving her information there was no reason for her to know.

  “Ava…”

  “Look, I get it, okay? That doesn’t mean I like it. Are they in danger because of me?”

  “The whole idea is to keep them out of danger.”

  Ava’s eyes filled with tears, and he covered her hand with his.

  “It’s just that I can’t believe all this is happening just because I accidentally stumbled on a meeting that Dash was having with some thug.”

  Razor had read the report of what Ava had seen and overheard, and she’d more than stumbled on a meeting. She’d witnessed Dash handing over sensitive information along with him receiving the payoff for it. If the “thug,” as she’d called him, had realized she was witnessing the hand off, she’d be dead. That Dash didn’t kill her meant one of two things. Either he didn’t have the balls, or he still cared about her.

  “I’m not the one who called in the anonymous tip either,” she told him.

  That, he’d known too.

  When their food arrived, Ava took a few bites and pushed the rest around her plate.

  “I thought you were always hungry,” he said, trying to tease her into a better mood.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Razor signaled the waiter and ask for the check and for their food to be packaged to go.

  “Let’s go,” he said once the waiter had returned with a to-go bag. “We need to pick up a few things in town before we head to the coast.”

  “I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

  “Actually, you won’t. There are four stores in Yachats, and not a single one sells women’s clothing.”

  “I really don’t feel like shopping.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  She raised an eyebrow and Razor thought maybe he’d even seen a hint of a smile.

  —:—

  At the first store, he picked out two pairs of jeans and a sweatshirt.

  “These work,” she said, coming out of the dressing room to find him waiting for her.

  “Try these too,” he said, exchanging what she had in her arms for what he had in his.

  “I don’t need—”

  He leveled a mock glare at her, so she turned around and went back into the dressing room.

  “These are fine too,” she said when she came back out, but Razor wasn’t there. She saw him up at the cash register, handing the woman a credit card.

  “These too,” he said, taking the clothes out of Ava’s hands when she walked up to him.

  “It’s too much money, Tabon. Please. I don’t need all this.”

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  “Right,” she said, adding feeling stupid on top of the sudden, gut-wrenching guilt that had landed squarely on her chest, making it hard for her to breathe.

  Had he really just told her not to worry about it? Her life wasn’t her own, and she had no idea when it would be again. She was completely dependent on him, and now, didn’t even have the solace of knowing she could talk to her sister whenever she wanted to.

  What if he got tired of having her around, and sick of paying for everything? Then what would happen to her?

  She had no “out.” There hadn’t been a time in her life when Ava didn’t know that no matter what happened, she had her sister and her three best friends who would do anything in their power to help her. If worst came to worst, she also had her parents. Not that she could imagine ever turning to them, but still.

  No matter how nice Tabon was being right now, and even how hard he was trying to take care of her and make her feel better, she felt trapped.

  She turned away so he didn’t see the tears that filled her eyes.

  “Restroom?” she managed to eek out, hurrying in the direction the woman behind the counter pointed, and making it just in time before what little she ate at dinner came flying out.

  Ava flushed the toilet, and heard the door open, but didn’t care who came in. She kept her hands on her knees, taking deep breaths, as tears ran down her cheeks.

  She felt Tabon’s hand on her back and heard him trying to soothe her.

  “Come here,” he said, pulling her into his arms. He stroked her hair with one hand, while he massaged her back with the other.

  “You shouldn’t be in here,” she said when another woman opened the door and glared at them.

  “The only thing I shouldn’t have done was leave the door unlocked,” he said, taking her hand and pulling her out of the ladies’ room. “Come on, let’s go.”

  Still holding her hand, he led her out the front door and across the street, to a park. He sat down on a bench under a big oak tree and pulled her onto his lap.

  “Talk to me, Avarie.”

  She shook her head.

  “Please, tell me what’s going on.”

  “You’ll think I’m ungrateful, and I’m not. I appreciate everything you and Gunner and everyone else is doing to keep me safe.”

  “But something is bothering you enough that you were sick to your stomach.”

  How could she put into words how much relying on him terrified her? It wasn’t just that she didn’t know what she’d do if he decided he didn’t want to anymore, there was far more to it now.

  What would he say if she told him she couldn’t bear the idea of him not wanting her anymore, or that she’d be heartbroken if that happened? They’d had a morning of crazy, amazing sex. That’s it. His heart wasn’t invested in her like hers was in him, and it probably never would be.

  “I know this is hard for you,” he began. “I also know what your life has been like up to this point.”

  “You do?”

  Tabon nodded. “For every smile, there were ten tears, twenty moments of sadness, and even more of fear and uncertainty.”

  How had he jumped right over all the superficial things she was feeling and straight into the deepest, darkest of her fears? She’d always been afraid of being alone, because other than Aine, she had no one. Without her sister, she was lost. Aine grounded her and kept her from letting her emotions spin out of control. Her parents had never filled that role in her life.

  He stroked the side of her face with his finger.

  “Don’t hide your feelings from me, Avarie. I understand them better than most, and I’m always willing to let you talk through them, or just hold you. Whatever you need.”

  “My sister and I have never really been apart,” she murmured. “I mean there were times when we were, but there’s never been a time when I couldn’t talk to Aine if I wanted to, and vice versa.”

  “I know that, which is why I made arrangements for you to be able to.”

  “But…”

  “Did you think that, because we were making arrangements to send them away for a few days, you wouldn’t be able to talk to her?”

  Ava nodded.

  “All you had to do was ask me,” he said, wiping her tears away. “There was no reason for you to get this upset.”

  Ava took a couple of deep breaths and looked up at the leaves rustling on the limbs of the tree.

  “Better?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I think so.”

  “We have a couple more stops to make.”

  “What for?”

  “Shoes, socks, that kind of stuff.”

  “Do I really need all that?”

  “Are you going on hikes with me in those?” he asked, pointing to her sandals.

  At every store, Tabon picked out twice what she though
t she’d need.

  “I can carry some of those,” she said, pointing to the bags he was lugging with him.

  “Here’s the car,” he said, setting the bags on the sidewalk and clicking the fob to open the back hatch.

  Ava walked over to the passenger door and waited for him to open it.

  “We aren’t finished,” he said.

  “What else could I possibly need?”

  He didn’t answer, but took her hand, and pulled her into the next store.

  “Oh,” she said when she looked around. “I don’t need any of…this.”

  “Sure you do. I don’t like doing laundry.”

  He walked straight over to a table that held all sorts of bra and panty sets, picking out several in her exact size.

  “I don’t want to think about how you know my bra size,” she said.

  He looked down at her breasts. “Am I wrong?”

  Ava felt her cheeks heating and swatted at him. “No. Oh my God.”

  He handed what he’d chosen to the waiting sales clerk and walked over to the nightie section.

  “What’s your favorite color?” he asked.

  “Midnight blue.”

  “Hmm.” He ran his hands over the silky lingerie, and picked out a couple, one pale pink, the other seafoam green. “These are my favorites,” he whispered before asking the saleswoman if she had anything in midnight blue.

  “Would you like a fitting room?” she asked once Razor had added several other items to the woman’s already heavily laden arms.

  “They’ll fit,” he answered, motioning in the direction of the checkout area.

  When she heard the total of the purchases from this store alone, she did some quick mental math. Tabon had spent over two-thousand dollars in the course of the last hour.

  She put her hand on his arm. “I’ll pay you back for all of this, as soon as—”

  “No. You won’t,” he said, leaning forward and quickly brushing her cheek with his lips.

  By the time they pulled into the little town of Yachats, the sun was setting. It was a picture-perfect seaside village with restaurants and tourist shops dotting the main street.

  Tabon took the road that ran along the shoreline and pulled over.

  “Did you see that?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “No.”

  “Just wait, you will.” He put the car in reverse and kept driving another couple of blocks, before pulling up to a house with a set of gates similar to those at Doc’s house.

  “This is your house?” Ava asked when they opened and he drove through.

  “Yep. All mine.”

  He pulled the car into one of the bays of the four-car garage, turned off the engine, and looked over at her.

  “It belonged to my grandparents, but it became mine when my gram passed away a couple of years ago.”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “I still miss her. More when I’m here. Gramps too, but he died when I was still in high school. Ready to go inside?”

  Ava nodded.

  “I’ll bring your stuff in later. I want you to see the view while there’s still a little bit of light.”

  She waited while he unlocked the door and then punched in an alarm code.

  “Come in,” he said, motioning for her to go ahead of him.

  Ava walked over to the wall of windows in the front of the house and looked out at the Pacific Ocean.

  “What do you look at?” she asked, nodding her head at the telescope she saw to the right.

  “Whales, mainly. There are always pods of dolphins, seals, and otters out there too.”

  “Whales?”

  “Yep,” he answered. “Did you see that?” he asked pointing out at the water.

  She shook her head.

  “Look again,” he said, coming up behind her and pointing. “See that bushy stream of misty air? It’s called a blow. It’s what a whale does when it comes to the surface. Keep your eyes focused on that location and soon you’ll see it again.”

  She watched and within a couple of minutes, she saw what he described.

  “Look,” he said again. “Did you see them surface?”

  “I did. How many are out there?”

  “Not sure exactly. There’s a family of gray whales that lives here year-round. You’ll also see more of them migrating. I’ve heard something like eighteen thousand travel along this coast twice a year. Once in a while we even see Orcas.”

  Ava was mesmerized by the sound of the waves crashing on the rocky shoreline, and captivated by the whales whose blow she saw every few minutes.

  “Can I get you anything?”

  “No, thank you,” she murmured, holding up the binoculars he handed to her.

  “How about some water?” he asked.

  She thanked him and took a sip from the glass he set on a ledge by the windows.

  “It doesn’t get too warm here, even in the summer,” he said, handing her one of his sweatshirts, even though she had a couple of her own in the car. “The sun will be setting in about an hour, and then it’ll get chilly.”

  She pulled the sweatshirt over her head, and loved that it smelled like him.

  She looked up, and he was studying her. “What?” she asked.

  “I’ve never brought anyone else here.”

  “No?”

  “Never even considered it.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because this place is special to me. Almost sacred, if that makes any sense.”

  Ava nodded.

  “No one else meant enough to me to share it with them.”

  12

  “Come here,” he said, pulling her to sit on his oversized sofa. He’d never seen another as big as this one until he saw Doc’s, which had to have been custom made. Once she was seated next to him, Razor reached over the cushions and pulled a blanket out of a basket.

  “I thought you hadn’t spent much time on the East Coast,” she said when he covered her with the Hudson Bay wool.

  “There’s this new thing, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen one…what are they called? Oh yeah, catalogs.”

  She swatted at him, but at least she smiled. That was really all he was going for.

  “Close your eyes, sweet Avarie. I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve fallen asleep to the sound of waves crashing against the shore. Even when Doc was gone and we didn’t know whether he was dead or alive, the sound of the ocean put me to sleep.”

  It wasn’t long before Ava drifted off. He was quickly growing accustomed to her soft snores, which instead of grating on his last nerve like Gunner’s did, he found to be soothing.

  He let his eyes drift closed, loving the feeling of Avarie McNamara snuggled up against him.

  —:—

  Half-awake and half-asleep, Ava tried to roll over, but something was keeping her from moving. She opened her eyes to find Tabon’s arm and leg wrapped around her from where he slept behind her on the sofa.

  Soft light was streaming in through the window blinds, and while the room felt slightly chilly, Tabon did not.

  When she tried to ease out of his grasp, he groaned and held on tighter.

  “No,” he murmured. “It is not time to wake up yet, and it is especially not time for you to move.”

  “But…I need to use the little girls’ room,” she said, smiling.

  Tabon moved his leg first and then his arm.

  “That’s the only excuse for getting up this early that I’ll accept.”

  Before she went back out, she wanted to call her sister. It was early, but Aine probably wouldn’t mind.

  When her twin didn’t answer, Ava walked into the main room, found the sofa empty, but found Tabon puttering around in the kitchen. Seconds later she heard the familiar sound of the one-cup coffeemaker hissing out its steamy brew, and breathed in the heavenly aroma.

  Instead of joining him, Ava sat at the bar that separated the kitchen and dining room.

  “Turn around,” he said, setting a cup in fro
nt of her, and pointing to the windows. “The whales are far more active this time of day. You may even see one breach.”

  Tabon came around, sat on the stool next to hers, and stretched his arms over his head until his shirt rode up enough that she could see his rock-hard abs.

  “You’re supposed to be watching for whales,” he said, catching her staring.

  “I thought maybe I was supposed to be watching you breach.”

  He laughed.

  Ava looked out at the water. “There’s one,” she said, pointing to a blow.

  “Yep. You’re getting better at spotting them.”

  Tabon stood, went back into the kitchen, and opened the refrigerator door.

  “How do eggs sound this morning? Maybe some bacon and toast to go along with a serving of sunny-side up?”

  The truth was, Ava wasn’t very hungry, even the sound of food made her feel queasy.

  “Whatever sounds good to you is fine with me,” she said, only to be polite.

  He closed the refrigerator and came back around the bar and sat next to her.

  “What?” she asked.

  “You aren’t hungry.”

  “I’m sure I will be soon…”

  “No, you won’t.”

  She tried to gauge whether he was annoyed with her or simply stating a fact, and how did he know that this time she really wasn’t?

  “How about a walk on the beach instead?” he asked.

  “That sounds really nice.”

  “Meet you back here in five,” he said, smiling like she imagined he did when he was a little boy.

  “Make it ten and you have yourself a walk-on-the-beach partner.”

  —:—

  After pointing out several oceanfront landmarks, he and Ava were quiet for the majority of their walk south. When they reached the mouth of the Yachats River, where it spilled into the ocean, he turned inland.

  “There’s a great coffee place right over here,” he said, motioning toward the hillside.

  “Where?” Ava asked.

  “You’ll see.” Tabon took her hand and led her down the dirt pathway.

  “You’re crazy.”

  “Be patient, princess.”

  Ava stopped walking. “Don’t call me that, Tabon.”